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Reviews
The Orville: All the World Is Birthday Cake (2019)
Astrology is Stupid
Enough said. I know too many people who love astrology. Astrology is stupid. Great job Seth. I need to have 150 characters for my review but this is all I got.
I guess all the haters of this show.... You have no valid argument. It's either not nerdy enough or too nerdy. The acting is "forced"? What are you talking about? This show is great.
Shang-Chi and the Legend of the Ten Rings (2021)
Worse than Ironman 3
Somehow..... this is now the worst marvel film to date. Complete trash. People praising the cartoonish CGI lol. Omg the bus scene!.... Was trash! Watch it again. God I love slow motion fighting/falling in love scenes! God it's just the best!
Last thing I'll rant about is this..... why would Wong, who at the time of this film was the Sorcerer Supreme, be fighting in an UNDERGROUND BLACK MARKET FIGHTING PIT??? He wouldn't. Like.... No. He wouldn't. Ever. Oh wait are you saying he was there just so they could shoehorn in another MCU character because this movie is so bad it had to find a way to make people smile? Yeah. Trash
Bonus: Ben Kingsley was the best and only good thing about this film. His character has been redeemed.
Ojing-eo geim: VIPS (2021)
BS Game with Bad Actors
This game is purely based on luck. Not knowing what the game is going to be, if you picked an early number, you're dead. There's no way to tell which glass is safe and which isn't. It's basically just Lemmings. So not really enjoying that. It's one of those moments in any game where someone could play flawlessly up until this point and lose because of luck. Boo.
The other negative is as everyone else has pointed out.... The VIPs. My god. Bad dialogue. Such bad dialogue. Cheesy cliches, sooo many. Just awful. Don't do that again.
The Death of Stalin (2017)
Meh
After watching Chernobyl (which was great) and now this, I only have one question...
Who decided it was ok to make a film set in Russia filled with Russians and tell the actors to not even attempt a Russian accent, but instead just use your normal one??
This movie was boring
Pineapple Express (2008)
i USED to think this was a good film
I remember watching this maybe a year or so after it came out. i finally got around to watching it and i remember thinking it was really good! so tonight I decided to watch it again... and i turned it of after about 40 minutes. Right at the dinner with Seth's girlfriend's parents... I realized how awful this film actually is.
The way Dale Denton (Seth Rogen) explained to the family what he had seen. how he arrives and stumbles his way through lying about forgetting the dinner he was invited to. so unbelievably annoying. "Right the dinner! yes of course im here because of the dinner. The dinner I was invited to. Yes thats why Im here." thats the gist of it. "why are you all dirty" "Im not. I was in the woods." Jesus how stupid. Its not funny and its a total cliché. Characters that try to explain something clearly and coherently never can, ever. After Dale witnesses the murder he runs to Saul's house and does the same thing! "They killed him! They killed him!" Ummm yeah thats exactly how I would start telling a person that has no idea what's going on. My god so annoying!
The movie really isn't funny at all except for a few scenes. I also love how, just like every movie, Seth Rogen's girlfriend is a total smokeshow and he is a fat loser... thats pretty much every movie.
Maybe I'm just tired of Seth Rogen and James Franco. I mean sometimes they do good things but mostly its just them and all of their friends doing friend things. "This Is The End" is the perfect example. That movie is actually funny but everything they do has to be all of their friends included. "The Roast of James Franco"... which I have no idea He earned a roast (I was under the impression that you got roasted for being an icon or something of that sort).... was basically a stage filled with all of his friends and a few real comedians. Its just terrible.
So anyways yeah go ahead and watch it ans tell me you don't want to rip your ears off as Stehg Rogen explains that he witnessed a murder. 2/10
Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice (2016)
Anyone who likes this is in severe denial.
Ask anyone who likes this film and they will definitely take shots at Marvel. "Marvel is so childish and light." "Civil War wasn't good".... What a joke. Unlike Civil Was, this film barely had any superhero action at all until the last half hour. Watching this with a group of people, for the first two hours all anyone said was, "This movie sucks", "This is soooo boring!", "Where are the superheroes?" Seriously there are so many subplots here that are so uninteresting, tons of jumping around to terrorists and police officers, intertwined with dream sequences showing very confusing imagery to folks who don't know the comics. Mainly a dream sequence where Batman is in the desert and flying guys come down to kill people... Or something. And then he wakes up... Or did he!? Because immediately after he gets a visit from the Flash.... Which is terrible and shoved down our throats. As a matter of fact, every clip of every other JL member is stupid and forced down our throats. They are going for realistic but when all of your heroes are demigods, it's kind of tough to do. Aquaman's cameo was utterly stupid. It's not like Thor with Marvel, which they did as best as they can. You are gonna tell us that this guy has been in the ocean for forever, wielding a trident and no one noticed? Batman was terrible. Fanboys like to argue that back in the day Batman killed criminals... Maybe he did but that's not the Batman we all love now. Bruce Wayne is chock full of hate and vengeance, no detective skills whatsoever and nothing to like about him. Superman is boring too. He does nothing.... Like NOTHING at all that makes you enjoy him. Just looking sad and confused the whole movie. At one point Clark is climbing a mountain... Don't know why or how he got there, he just is! And then he has a coherent conversation with his dead dad! Makes sense. Jesse Eisenberg was sadly the best actor in the film, but his character is so poorly written. Annoying as all Hell, ranting on with nervous ticks and nonsensical sayings. Doomsday was actually alright, except that every three minutes he releases an EMP and it's basically the same exact clip, almost like they just reused the same animated scene three times. Two hours of no build up whatsoever leads to the fight between Bats and Supes... Pretty bad fight of course. And then Batman, consumed wih SO MUCH RAGE, makes peace because they have the same named mother.... Nothing is thrown into them making up. They just shake and now hey are best friends. How terribly stupid. Superman nearly drowns retrieving the KRYPTONITE spear, but minutes later he is able to fly with it and thrust it into Doomsday.... Umm no. No that's not how that works.
Zack Snyder did a poor job with Man Of Steel (it was a bad movie, if you think otherwise then you clearly haven't seen Christopher Reeve's version) and now he has destroyed DC's flagship film. I hope every movie after this bombs as well because DC chose a terrible director and they need to pay for it. Bad bad bad bad bad 3/10
Evil Dead (2013)
You people are ridiculous
This movie does exactly what it's supposed to do. Going in I had low expectations. I do for most new horror films. Nothing is really scary. However this one had its moments. Plenty of tense scenes and gore that has you cringing. THATS EXACTLY WHAT ITS SUPPOSED TO DO!
I love reviewers who use a bunch of big words (like pretentious) and then talk about the flat acting and scenery and blah blah blah. It was great! Everyone did their job. Sure the whole movie is based on people making stupid decisions.... I'm pretty sure that's 99% of horror movies. So quit acting like you know what you're talking about, because you don't.
Great film. Watch it in the dark with your lover.
9/10
Eraserhead (1977)
Overrated but enjoyable
I love when people call things art. Everything is art if its different. I saw this movie because it was on a list of the Most Disturbing Films ever made. Come now people, this movie is barely disturbing. Sure the overall tone is dark and what not, but most things are just weird. There is 0% chance of me losing sleep over this. Don't get your opinions mixed. I am not one of those people who have no trouble watching disturbing scenes in films. I have watched parts of Cannibal Ferox and Cannibal Holocaust and i REFUSE to watch them anymore. Those are truly disturbing films and ONLY because of real animals being killed, which has no place whatsoever in movies. This film had a small amount of gore and it was almost comical. As for the plot you can barely call this a movie. I mean yes there is a plot and you can understand whats going on for the most part, but really no ending. Long scenes of awkward silence and people acting weird, which I assume is due to radioactivity. All in all it is still watchable and enjoyable too! Just don't think you need a barf bag or the lights all turned on. SERIOUSLY, if you get disturbed by this film, maybe you should stick to Disney
Cannibal ferox (1981)
What is wrong with people?
There is only one reason why this movie is God awful bad. It's not the acting, the plot, or anything you would expect. It the fact that no movie, ever, EVER MADE, needs to have real animals tortured and killed on camera.
People on here are ridiculous, suggesting this movie is great. What is so great about a defenseless animal being tied to a post and watching it try to get away from a massive snake, that proceeds to very slowly strangle the life out of it, all the while it is screaming with a high-pitched voice at the top of its lungs? It is disturbing and sick.
I am not a panzy when it comes to horror and violence but watching animals brutally killed is disgusting and anyone on here that says this movie is good is mentally ill. Just like Cannibal Halocaust this movie had no right being made. I hope there is a Hell and the director burns in it.