captain_bungle Reviews

The Wicker Man (2006)

No, not the bees!

[1/10 · 20 February 2007]

Despite hearing nothing but negative reviews, I had to see this film for myself. So I waited until the backlash had died down a little and went into it with an open mind. Hell, I might even enjoy it, I thought. What followed was to be quite possibly the dullest 2 hours of my life I have ever spent in front of the TV. It was bad. But unfortunately did not fall within the 'so bad it's good' category.

At first it was hard to pinpoint exactly where the problems lie. The film looks gorgeous; there's no faulting the cinematography or mise-en-scene. The storyline is essentially the same as the original, which I enjoyed and continue to enjoy, so what exactly is wrong with this 2006 version? WHY is it so dull? The reasons being the following: a flat, dire performance from Cage, and from everyone else involved (including Burstyn, who appears non-committal and uninterested); a slow, pondering narrative that desperately wants to be taken as thoughtful and philosophical; 'action' set pieces that verge on the ridiculously mundane (bee's anyone?); and, maybe more importantly than anything else - Cage rushing around on a bicycle. How very quaint.

Unfortunately, being a remake, comparisons are going to be drawn. Everything that made the original a brilliant film is missing here - the creepy atmosphere, the performances, the songs, the eroticism (Willow's song being a highlight). But at least it's got the same ending, right? Well, yes and no. It has an ending where the same thing happens but, this being the noughties, a little extra has to be added to make it all more 'disturbing'.

********************SPOILERS**************************************

Hobbling? Bees? Okay, maybe a nice pair of additions for some, but Cage's cries of 'No, not the bees!' was the only moment of unintentional entertainment for me in this dull, lifeless mockery of a film.

I don't normally vote a score of 1 for anything, as I usually see some merit in everything I see. Yes, the cinematography was excellent, but it is not enough to save this film from being a relentless 2 hours of drudgery.

Avoid.

Keeping Mum (2005)

A thoroughly unpleasant, pleasant film.

[7/10 · 10 April 2006]

Keeping Mum ticks all the requirements for a British comedy: quirky characters, dark subject matter, token American actor, nice scenery etc etc. It's also quite plodding - the narrative never really 'gets going', but in its slow, gentle approach it gives the characters within the film a chance to breathe and become more 3 dimensional. This is really what the film is about - the murderous housekeeper is merely a macabre subplot to the character studies on display. Okay, this isn't Mike Leigh, but the characters are fully formed and likable in a way which make you care about their lives.

Acting is superb from all involved - Atkinson as the dull, rather naive priest, Scott-Thomas as the sexually frustrated wife taking 'golf lessons' with the sleazy, not quite hateful Swayze as her instructor. But lets not forget Maggie Smith as the adorable psychopath that finds herself in their home and in their hearts and, in turn, our hearts too. She really is a lovable old nutcase!

Beautifully shot and impeccably written, Keeping Mum should be approached with caution: it's not a belly-laugh a minute joke-fest, but a gentle, often amusing character study. With a bit of cold-blooded murder thrown in!

Alien Autopsy (2006)

Not probing enough

[6/10 · 9 April 2006]

At the time of writing, this film has an average rating of 1.5 - making it one of the worst films of all time if you trust the users of IMDb. Okay, it isn't the most amazing film of recent years, but it in no way deserves the low rating given to it by those that can't judge a film objectively.

What hurts this film, rather than it being Ant & Dec's fault, is the slow, episodic nature of the narrative. There's never any real urgency or consistency in the pace of the film, making it all rather plodding and, at times, dull. You really want to feel real danger and suspense but never get past the middle of your seat. In fact, I spent most of the time slouched back in mine. That's the problem - it never fully engages.

On the plus side, Alien Autopsy has a very gentle approach to comedy, with some very subtle jokes that get a chuckle a few beats later than would be expected. Ant & Dec are fine in their roles - at first they're just Ant & Dec, but you soon forget about their presenter persona's and accept them as the characters within the film. It's well shot, the supporting roles are excellent, including Harry Dean Stanton and Bill Pullman, the filming of the autopsy is funny and there are a few scenes of 'action' amongst the lulls.

At the end of the day, Alien Autopsy is merely okay. It's not spectacular but it's not awful either.

6/10

Let Sleeping Corpses Lie (1974)

Quality zombie-fest.

[8/10 · 5 February 2006]

I've got to admit I wasn't expecting too much when I popped this into the DVD drive, having seen one to many Italian zombie movies of debatable quality. But I was pleasantly surprised to discover a well-shot (the location photography is beautiful), well-scripted and well-acted (yes - well-acted) zombie movie that opts for quality over quantity and a carefully thought-out narrative.

The leads are great to look at and the zombie action is gruesome (though sparse) and creative. Some younger viewers may find the pace a little bit on the slow side, but the character interaction more than passes the time and the eerie atmosphere helps it along.

At points, this is highly reminiscent of NOTLD, complete with a downbeat ending that'll have you screaming at the screen at...ah, you'll find out....

A highly recommended zombie (dare I say it?) masterpiece.

The Wicker Man (1973)

Superior drama, musical, horror, thriller, erotica, mystery...

[9/10 · 14 April 2005]

British horror movies. What is it that these three words project into your mind? The Gothic melodramatics of Hammer? Long, dark coats and flaming torches? Frankenstein? Dracula? Or none of the above? Is the impact of the British horror film so feeble that it doesn't even spark a reaction in your mind? You'd be forgiven as, despite from a few real gems in Hammer's back catalogue, the history of British horror is seeped in watered down, made-to-formula genre movies of very little substance. Of course, great movies were still being made, but one stands the test of time particularly well for its era. That film is The Wicker Man (1973), and its history is as intriguing as the film itself.

Edward Woodward stars as Sgt. Neil Howie, a devout Christian and policeman searching for a missing girl on the Scottish Island of Summerilse. There are many clues suggesting that the girl has been killed as a sacrifice by the pagan cult that inhabits the island, lead by Lord Summerisle (Christopher Lee). But Howie soon discovers that the girl may be held alive somewhere for a forthcoming ritual, and sets out to find her. During his time on the island, Howie encounters all kinds of blasphemous activity performed by the inhabitants who have rejected Christianity in favour of the 'old gods'. He witnesses fertility rituals where naked girls jump through fire, schoolchildren dancing around phallic maypoles, a school teacher lecturing on the importance of fertility and bizarre, masked people wandering the streets. Howie's Christianity (and virginity) is also put at risk by the landlord's daughter (Britt Ekland), who dances and sings naked in a room next to his, enticing him to a point where his faith (and the content of his scrotum) is almost lost.

The narrative of The Wicker Man centralises on the conflict between Christianity and paganism without ever taking sides. This is shown beautifully within the characters of Howie and Lord Summerisle, with Woodward and Lee playing off each other, embodying the films exploration of religious differences through their performances (Lee has said that his performance is the best of his career). The naïve, virginal, honest Howie proves to be no match for the calm, manipulative evil of Summerisle, and Howie's fate seems to be completely in his hands, but for those who have yet to see The Wicker Man, I will write no further of the outcome. If you have never heard of The Wicker Man's ending then you are praised indeed, and should see it before you find out just what is so shocking about it.

Hardy's direction maintains consistency as the film switches between the bizarre, the comic, the erotic and the chilling, whilst also finding time for a few musical sequences (the one in which the landlord's daughter tries to seduce Howie from the room next door is particularly well done). In fact, The Wicker Man seems to switch genres frequently throughout, yet what could easily have been an uneasy mish-mash of genres is instead consistent, poetic, thoughtful and frightening in the hands of Hardy, whose willingness to just let things happen creates a feeling that just anything might. But this insistence to throw everything together may put some people off, as the film is never entirely sure what it wants to be. But those willing to go with the flow will find it a remarkably rewarding experience, and one that is not easy to forget.

The Wicker Man was hardly seen upon its release, mainly due to poor marketing and the distributors difficulty in categorising the film itself (Hardy was known to keep changing his mind about the nature of the film throughout production, telling crew it was now a musical / a thriller / a comedy etc.) Also, a horror film that takes place in bright sunlight instead of dark, shadowy corridors probably confused the poor saps at the distribution company. The film was also heavily cut by distributors who didn't understand what the film was supposed to be about, but now, with a recent release on video and DVD, The Wicker Man is available in its longest form, just as Hardy had envisioned it. But finding the missing footage proved to be an exhaustive and painful exercise, as no one knew of its whereabouts. The footage was eventually found in the vaults of Roger Corman's production company, as he had been sent a print on the film's completion. This print was used to restore the missing footage, but still the only existing negative has never been found and is believed to be buried underneath a motorway somewhere in England. For a more in-depth account of this particular films history, pick up Allan Brown's excellent book 'Inside The Wicker Man'.

Although slightly dated, the theme of conflicting religious beliefs is just as relevant today and the intriguing detective story will keep just about everyone hooked.

The Texas Chain Saw Massacre (1974)

'Cutting Edge' horror

[10/10 · 14 April 2005]

I was 11 years old. I'd given an older kid 50p to borrow his copy of Texas Chain Saw Massacre. I took it home and put it in the top-loader. It took me a fair while to press down on that chunky silver 'play' button, recollecting the stories I'd heard about the film. Rumours were flying around the school - the filmmakers had gone mad whilst making the film and killed each other - Leatherface was real - it was a documentary and the killings are all real. Chain Saw was a snuff movie. So, I pressed down the hefty button and braced myself for what was to come, eyes peeled, resisting the need to look away as if I were looking at a traffic accident. When the film was over I felt disturbed. I hadn't witnessed real human killings, I hadn't just seen a snuff movie, but Chain Saw had reached deep down inside of me and planted a seed of unease, I felt cold to my very core but I didn't know why. As the years passed my recollections of the film became more and more distorted. Most notably my memories of the killings within the film - bloody, gore-filled scenes. Blood. Lots of blood.

The reason I have rambled on about these events is that, until re-watching the film, I appeared to share the same memories as those that had seen it around the same time as me. This is a testament to Chain Saw's masterful construction, a film powered by the age-old technique of suggestion. There is hardly a drop of blood shown within the film, yet people will remember it in bucket-loads. In fact, director Tobe Hooper only shows us what is necessary, maybe because of the low budget he was working with (Hooper's later output would suggest this), but it forced creativity from the filmmaker that is sadly lacking in his other work (Poltergeist may be an exception, but Hooper's direction was steered by Spielberg on that one).

Okay, the story: A mini-bus carrying five teenagers drives through Texas. Pre-emptively they drive past a slaughterhouse as cows await their death. The tone, and their fate, is set, and it is only a matter of time before the teenagers will become meat to a local cannibal family. Their ordeal begins when they enter a sinister old house (don't they always?) and start to snoop around. Before you know it one of the teens, who you're expecting to be the lead, is struck over the head with a mallet by Leatherface (Gunar Hansen), an obese retard with a skin mask. As he falls to the floor, his body twitching, Leatherface closes a sliding metal door and finishes the job where we cannot see it. From here on in it's basically a matter of picking off teens one by one with the use of the mallet, a meat hook and, of course, the chain saw.

What is essentially a by-the-numbers plot is raised above par by the style and atmosphere of the film. From bizarre shots of solar flares to the hot, sun soaked imagery of Texas, Chain Saw seems to be sweating horror out of every pore. The locations are macabre beyond belief, in particular a room with hanging animal bones and bone constructed furniture, and the whole film has a hot, musty orange glow about it that almost makes you smell the dead human meat in the cannibal house.

The performances are relatively functionary from the cast, although Marilyn Burns puts in a good turn as the tortured 'final girl', making us feel that her life is truly at risk. Even though all she does is scream and plead for her life, she does so with such energy and realism that it is difficult to watch her. Most disturbing of all is a scene where the grandfather of the family, a man so old he can barely move, is given a hammer to deliver a deathblow to her head. The family holds her over a bucket as the old man raises the hammer to strike her, but he is barely able to hold it, let alone hit her with it.

Chain Saw is full of images that will horrify and disturb, but unlike many other films that do the same, Chain Saw will leave you breathless with its unrelenting assault on the senses; from the images on display to the ear-shattering sound design that allows Leatherface's saw to intrude your living room and slice at your nerves. Texas Chain Saw Massacre is one of those few horror films that will unnerve you to a degree of unrest because it hits home where it hurts. Its savage, raw power and its total lack of reason give the impression you are watching something you shouldn't be. A bit like the traffic accident I mentioned earlier. In fact, you never really have time to think about what you are seeing until after the film has ended, which leaves an indelible image of a skin-masked madman waving a chain saw around his head in anger.

So, if you watched Chain Saw a good few years ago and remember it being a standard slasher flick with lots of gore, revisit it and see just how effective suggestion can be. If you've never seen it - what are you waiting for? This is low-budget film-making at its best and a lot can be gained from repeat viewings. If you can watch it more than once that is

Ring 0: Birthday (2000)

Full circle

[7/10 · 14 April 2005]

Ring and Ring 2's ability to terrify an audience relied strongly on the fact that the TV you were watching them on was a possible portal for the video-curse and even Sadako herself. Not that anyone would really believe Sadako would come out of your TV, but subconsciously it must have an effect. In Ring 0 - Birthday, there are no cursed videos and no televisions. Instead, '0' takes us back 30 years before the original Ring, to where Sadako is an apprentice for a theatre company. What we quickly learn is that Sadako is not a monstrous psychic-killer that springs from household appliances but a shy, troubled young woman with a secret past. Those familiar with the Ring films will know that Sadako 'killed' a mocking reporter at her mother's para-psychological demonstration after he accused the psychic of being a fraud. The fiancé of this reporter sets about investigating what went on and tracks down Sadako at the theatre, convinced that she is responsible in some way for her fiancé's death.

The theatre troupe has a bad feeling about Sadako, as most of them have been experiencing the same disturbing dream about her, where they see her next to a well, and a certain air of doom has clouded the theatre since her arrival. When the lead actress in the play dies, killed by a younger Sadako (who is more like the ghoul from the first two films - it's confusing, but things are explained later), Sadako is given her role, much to the distress and suspicion of her fellow actors. The appearance of the 'dark' Sadako coincides with a strange noise played from a reel-to-reel tape recorder used by the theatre to play music. This, it seems, is how Sadako's dark power is unleashed, much like the videotape of the originals. But the older Sadako does not initiate any of the terror unleashed, and it is only a matter of time before the troupe accuses her of being a killer, whereas in reality she possesses the power to heal. Questions arise throughout the film, and are frequently answered, like why are two Sadako's, of different ages, walking around in the theatre? Yes, this question is answered, but not here in this review. Ring 0 is much more character based than the two previous films, getting into the head of the tragic Sadako by means of flashbacks and a subtle love story that shows she is a decent, vulnerable human being. At first it is slightly confusing as you are not sure whether you are watching the Sadako that will turn into the deformed, freakish ghoul that crawls out of TV screens to scare people to death. But it is knowing who she ends up to be that gives the film an air of tragedy as this misunderstood and innocent girl is hunted like a beast and forced to become one with her evil side. To say any more about the story would inevitably spoil it so I'll go no further, but for those worried about a lack of an 'evil' Sadako, don't worry. She's there too.

Visually, Ring 0 is a much more lavish, expensive-looking production than its predecessors that relied on dark, gritty camera-work and realistic lighting to enhance the 'normal' and make the story more believable. With '0' the style is more polished, with swooping camera moves and clearer, more stylised lighting. This works, as the film is more layered than Ring, whose visuals suited its single-minded determination to scare you witless. Instead here we have a production just as interested in characterisation and story whilst also being very, very scary in places, which is helped by the excellent photography and set design.

The acting is first rate, especially from Yukie Nakama who gives a subtle performance as Sadako, and everyone else is on form. The only let down is some of the terrible screaming going on here - remember the castle of 'Aaarrrrggggghhhhhh' from Monty Python and the Holy Grail? Well, people die whilst omitting these terrible, comedy death-groans that really do steal from the tension and give you a mental picture of Graham Chapman in chain mail. Apart from that, I don't think '0' could be a better film.

Director Norio Tsuruta delivers a consistent, suspenseful shocker with plenty of visual flourishes and interesting ideas. It's easy to think that, in the wrong hands, Sadako could have been turned into a Freddy/Jason-style stalker walking amongst the shadows willing people to death, but instead we have an entertaining character piece with plenty of frights and chills spliced in for good measure.

Ring 0 surprised me. It is a more solid film than the original, more layered and ultimately more rewarding. But what it lacks is the pure, raw fear of the original that made it so memorable, and it wouldn't work without seeing the original first. Better and scarier than 2, quite possibly on a par with the first. And if you thought Sadako couldn't be scarier than when she crawled out of the TV in Ring, sit tight - because Sadako's still got a few tricks up her elongated sleeve, including a finale that will have people of a nervous disposition reaching for the 'off' button on their remote control.

If you're a Ring fan, you've got to see this. If you've never seen them you won't get it. If you've seen them and didn't like them, still give this one a try as it's a completely different experience altogether.

Requiem for a Dream (2000)

Beautifully disturbing

[9/10 · 14 April 2005]

Darren Aronofsky's follow up to his acclaimed cult hit Pi has often been labelled as a 'drug' movie similar to that of Trainspotting. But Aronofsky would prefer you to call it a film about addiction, as everyone within the film relies on their own type of 'drug', be it television or heroin. The narrative is centred around four characters; Harry Goldfarb (Jared Leto), Sara Goldfarb (Ellen Burstyn), Marion Silver (Jennifer Connely) and Tyrone C Love (Marlon Wayans). These characters are all dreamers, they all have a certain place and a state of mind where they'd like to be. Requiem tells of their delusional journey towards obtaining these dreams as their lives fall apart before our eyes, reaching physical and emotional lows that are truly harrowing to watch.

The film takes place at Coney Island, Brooklyn, amongst its abandoned beaches and run-down estates that serve as a perfect backdrop for Requiem's harsh reality, yet also its unflinching surrealism. The characters make their way through this place as it appears to decay a little every time they do, emphasising their mental and physical states with a kind of subtlety that suggests a true genius at play here. In fact, there are so many small changes to the locations, the lighting, the set designs and character's appearances that it is worth re-watching Requiem just to spot them. However, I digress, as Requiem for a Dream's true brilliance comes from the excellent performances on display, most notably from Ellen Burstyn as Jared Leto's mother, Sara Goldfarb. Sara is a widow, who spends her time alone watching TV or meeting up with her knit group. But it is the TV, not her friends that is her true companion, as she sits transfixed, watching Tappy Tibbons (an energetic Christopher McDonald) with an utmost urgency. Sara's downfall begins when she receives a letter inviting her to be on television. Of course she is delighted, it is a dream come true for her, but if she's going to be on TV she has to wear her special red dress that she wore to her son's graduation. Trouble is, Sara no longer fits in her red dress and needs to lose weight. Quickly. Sara goes to the doctors and is prescribed pills to help her lose the pounds, and it is only a matter of time before she does. She takes the pills, watches the TV and dreams of being on it in her red dress, but she is taking speed to help her lose weight and she begins to lose her mind… Likewise, Harry, Marion and Tyrone have their own drugs; heroin and love. Unfortunately, the draw of heroin is stronger than the latter and they too descend a downward spiral into addiction and desperation. The parallels between Harry's and his mother's addictions are clearly drawn with the use of snappy editing. Sara picks up the remote, switches the TV on, eats a rice cake, takes her pills; all in a quick succession of beats. The use of heroin is shown in exactly the same way, the flame, the needle, a dilating eyeball etc, all edited with the same punch to exemplify that, although addicted to different things, Harry and his mother are both heading down the same path.

There really is no way out for these characters. There is no happy ending in sight for them, and Aronofsky rightly doesn't give them one. It is hard to categorise Requiem for a Dream, and I have no intention of trying to do so, but this is a film that everyone should see. It is a powerful, unflinching depiction of four people who we really do care about destroying themselves. We care about these people because they are our friends, our girlfriends and our mothers. They are normal people who find themselves in situations that are far too brutal for anyone not to feel for them. Harry and Marion's love is sincere and warm, not melodramatic or schmaltzy Hollywood love, and to see them break apart from each other is truly saddening as you just know that Aronofsky isn't going to give them a chance meeting at rehab to get back together.

Visually, Requiem for a Dream pulls all the stops. The use of split-screen is amazing, especially in an intimate scene between Leto and Connely, as they lay side by side touching each other, yet appear apart. There is time-lapse photography, super-wide fish-eye lenses, brave camera movements and expressionistic lighting, but never does it feel that Aronofsky is using these techniques just to 'show off'. There is meaning behind every stylistic flourish that graces the screen, adding a greater depth to the proceedings and involving the audience in a way that makes for uneasy, yet entertaining, viewing.

Requiem for a Dream is a true work of art. It is ugly, brutal, beautiful and profound without being pretentious. Aronofsky uses effective visual tricks and styles to emphasise emotions and places without resorting to a shallow style-over-substance MTV look, and DoP Matthew Libatique's lighting and camera-work is at once realistic and surreal, and constantly amazing. Between them, they create a world that pulls you in, instantly engaging you with the characters and their lives. Then it pulls you under, showing people we care about going through some of the most saddening, brutal moments of their lives until, by the end, you'll be gasping for breath.

I really cannot recommend Requiem for a Dream enough. It is truly one of the most powerful, astounding films you will ever see, and demands repeated viewing. However, if you like your movies warm and fluffy with a feel-good, happy ending then it may not be the film for you.

Baise-moi (2000)

Base

[2/10 · 13 April 2005]

Baise Moi is the story of two women, Manu and Nadine (played by porn stars) who hit the road to take out their aggression on unsuspecting men (and sometimes women), in what could be described as Thelma and Louise with hardcore sex scenes. Okay, this could be an appealing combination for many audiences but what really strikes you about Baise Moi is its utter ineptitude and ugliness.

Directed by two women; Virginie Despentes and Coralie Trinh Thi (based on ex-prostitute Despente's novel), the film does evoke a substantial feel of female rage and bitterness towards men, although having the two leads kill innocents does leave a nasty taste in the mouth and detracts from the film's message. The director's have tried hard to make a shocking and provocative film here, but the use of hardcore acts merely as a distraction from what is trying to be said. Men will see this film because of the sex, not because of any feminist issues that may arise through the narrative. But maybe that's the whole point of Baise Moi - to feed men's weakness for sex whilst simultaneously castrating them with images of mutilation and death. I'm sure Freud would have had a field day with it, but he probably would have had better things to do.

Porn stars Raffaela Anderson and Karen Bach act to the best of their ability, pulling off (excuse the pun) some of the more emotional scenes satisfactorily, but you just can't help thinking that they are just playing at being 'proper' actresses. But it is also this element of amateurism that gives the film a well-needed dose of charm, something it is severely lacking. For all its good intentions and bravery, Baise Moi manages to alienate the viewer with its slap-dash style and repulsive characters whilst also being just brave enough to earn itself a few merit points.

With all the controversy that surrounds it, Baise Moi does indeed live up to its shocking nature. There is a close-up penetration shot during the opening rape scene (cut from UK prints), several blow jobs, a gun being inserted in a man's arse and fired and hardcore sex aplenty, but most shocking of all is the fact that a film so poorly made has been merited as such a classic in some quarters. Okay, so it's 'cutting edge' to incorporate sexual penetration into a mainstream film, but Baise Moi is about as mainstream as your holiday videos, and shot on the same format. Stick with Thelma and Louise - if you also want hardcore sex - go and get some, the two don't mix.

Bad Taste (1987)

Sick Flick

[8/10 · 13 April 2005]

It seems fitting that in the wake of the excellent Lord of the Rings films, that we should have a look at just what started director Peter Jackson on the road to being one of the worlds greatest visionaries. Before LOTR's, Jackson's biggest financial hit was the Michael J. Fox horror comedy 'The Frighteners', and his biggest critical success being the haunting 'Heavenly Creatures', starring a then not-so-famous Kate Winslet. But it wasn't an easy ride getting to be the director of the most anticipated trilogy since Star Wars. Jackson started small, very small, and clawed his way up the movie ladder using nothing more than pure determination and a raw talent for film-making.

Jackson's first feature was Bad Taste, a low, low-budget horror comedy movie made over two years about aliens killing humans for their fast-food business back in space. No real plot, no real actors, no real crew. Only an insane imagination and devoted friends willing to help out. There's not even much of a script, because what Jackson sets out to do is sicken his audience with some of the most gruesome deaths ever seen and make them laugh until the back of their heads fall off. And he succeeds.

Narrative and plot structure are not on the vile menu here. Instead, Bad Taste is a testament to sick jokes, low-budget gore and technical brilliance on a shoestring. Jackson made his own steadicam, crane and other camera rigs to create the impression of a bigger-budgeted movie (he fails to do so, unfortunately) and even undertook the task of making all of his own make-up and prosthetic effects, including mechanised masks and realistic machine guns. This is an even greater achievement when you consider just how much gore there is in the film, but the finale, in which a huge mansion is rocketed into space, defies the rules of its low budget and minimal crew.

Even the cast were so minimal that the same aliens can be seen, if you look hard enough, being killed over and over again throughout the film, and Jackson himself takes on two roles; the unstable Derek and a mad alien called Robert. In one scene, Derek and Robert engage in a cliff-top fight with each other, balanced precariously on the edge and with no indication that one is a body double. Jackson's creativity and knowledge of movie trickery is undoubtedly on display here, but the low-rent sickness and bloody gore on display would suggest otherwise. At first it is hard to imagine that Jackson would go on from this to directing one of the best films of all time, but when you look closely, examine just what Jackson could do with no money and no crew, you begin to realise that a true genius was at work here.

Bad Taste is a delirious testament to the 'just-get-out-there-and-do-it' school of film-making, as that is literally what Jackson did. Shooting whenever he had the money for film stock and making props and special effects in his parent's garage. Apparently, one of Jackson's greatest problems was keeping his actors consistent in appearance over the two-year period, making sure haircuts remained the same and that one actor had a permanent five-o'clock shadow. Bad Taste is true to the spirit of independent film-making, one man making the film he wants, when he wants and with whom he wants. In fact, it would never and could never have been made under the supervision of a studio, and even if it had the spirit would have been killed off.

Bad Taste works for me because I admire the way in which it is made. When I first saw it I was in my teens and I liked it because it was a demented, gruesome, funny film, so maybe the teen crowd is the right one for Jackson's brain-eating, vomit-spewing, chuck-up-a-thon, or maybe it's also for twenty-somethings after a night on the lash. Either way, Bad Taste should be seen as an example that if you want to make a movie and know how - there is usually a way

Audition (1999)

Pins and needles

[8/10 · 13 April 2005]

A lot of people who use this site will have held an audition before. You know the feeling -voyeuristic unease as somebody acts their heart out in front of you, sometimes crying purely for your benefit. Now imagine there's no film and you're auditioning beautiful young girls with the intent of winning their hearts and their hand in marriage, whilst they think they are trying to win a part in your film. This is the basic premise of Audition, the shocking Japanese film from cult director Takashi Miike.

Aoyama (Ryo Ishibashi), a middle aged man who lost his wife to illness years previously, tries to find the perfect woman for him through bogus auditions set up by a film producer friend. Things start well, and Aoyama falls in love with a mysterious girl called Yamazaki (Eihi Shiina), but is this quiet, intelligent girl all she seems to be? The laws of horror would suggest not.

Audition is a slow and laborious movie that will reward those that stick with it, although people expecting more average horror fare will probably switch off before the first half is over. Miike has constructed a film dealing with love, loneliness and infatuation with uneasy elements of the macabre, with strong scenes of torture that will repel even the most hardened of horror fans.

But for all its queasiness and sadomasochism, Audition does have enough dry wit about it to give the viewer a break here and there and the audition itself is inspired; where two middle-aged men sit before tens of young women who perform in front of them and answer personal questions.

Audition starts off as what could be described as a traditional love story with a modern day edge, told completely straight and concentrating all its energy into the characterisations. But it is after Aoyama and Yamazaki sleep together that things start to get weird. When Yamazaki disappears, Aoyama searches for her, encountering a bizarre character that warns him away from her before he starts experiencing unsettling hallucinations. From this point, Audition throws everything we have previously seen and got used to up in the air, casting aside normality and bombarding us with disturbing imagery, taking us on a journey where possibly anything could happen whilst we pray that it doesn't.

The narrative is helped along by a strong performance from Ishibashi, who gives his character enough depth and believability that is not usually associated with the horror genre. He is a father, a widow and an infatuated lover, whose emotions drive the narrative through the slower segments and lend an emotional punch to the final quarter. To say anything more about Audition would give away the ending, as the plot is streamlined to incorporate strong, believable characters and set us up for a torturous finale. So, be warned - Audition is NOT for the squeamish. Or those afraid of needles… If you've got a couple of hours spare and don't mind settling down into Audition's relaxed pace and meandering first half then I recommend you give it a go. It might not be your thing but it will shake you up, I promise you.

Shaun of the Dead (2004)

Pegg-cellent! Not just all Wright!

[10/10 · 13 April 2005]

Apologies for the awful summary above...

Shaun is a 29-year-old electrical salesman living in London. He shares a house with two friends and has a steady girlfriend, Liz. Shaun shuffles through life oblivious to events and situations surrounding him, such as his failing relationship and the sudden outbreak of zombies. Liz is tired of Shaun's insistence on spending every opportunity that he can in the Winchester pub. Shaun promises to take her to a restaurant but, due to interference from his overpowering step-dad, forgets to book. Shaun reluctantly suggests going to the Winchester and is promptly dumped.

It would all be a pretty straightforward, uncomplicated story if it were not for the continuous news coverage played out in the background (Shaun and his friends remain oblivious to this, however) detailing the recent dead-returning-to-life-and-eating-people phenomenon. Soon the zombies are attacking and increasing in numbers, and Shaun has to shake his ineptitude to lead his friends to safety, rescue his mum and get Liz back.

The film opens with the (original) Dawn of the Dead soundtrack playing over the Universal logo, which gradually merges into The Specials 'Ghost Town. This sets the tone for the film, as this is as much homage to Romero's Living Dead trilogy as it is to British culture and comedy. It's not an easy mix, but somehow Simon Pegg and Edgar Wright strike an easy balance between them in a brilliant screenplay. The first act is played mainly for laughs and as a set up for the characters, who are particularly well-rounded for a genre film, and to also slowly build the zombie epidemic up around them. The use of radio and television to portray the arrival and eventual epidemic of the zombies is a nice touch and harks back to Romero's Dawn… only here the news reports go unnoticed in the background, as people go about their business with little regard for the events surrounding them. So, we're surrounded by zombies anyway; on the bus, in the street, at work – shuffling around oblivious to each other and our problems. This is a point made bluntly, but to good effect in Shaun, again harking back to Romero's film, where the dead represent a nation of zombie-like consumers.

The mannerisms of the dead are similar too; Shaun opts for the slow, shuffling zombies as opposed to the new, fast ones that seem to have replaced them in modern cinema. In fact, this is a film that uses Romero as a law. A zombie law. This is Romero's universe, only the events are happening in London instead of Pittsburgh. The comedy works on two levels within Shaun…, obviously one level is for humour, but the other level is an increased realism. How many zombie films are there when, having dispatched their first zombie by bludgeoning them with a cricket bat, our hero has to sit down and have a cup of tea? Through the second act and into the third, the tone of Shaun of the Dead changes. The comedy purposely thins out a little as the zombies lay siege on our heroes. In fact the final act of Shaun is downright terrifying, touching, and gory as hell, including a death scene that ranks up there alongside the best. Not to give too much away, but all that's missing is the line 'Choke on 'em!' Shaun of the Dead should appeal to a wide audience. The self titled 'romzomcom' has just that; a romantic story involving Shaun and his ex, whom he strives to win back. Lots and lots of zombies, and enough laugh out loud visual and verbal comedy moments than you can shake a disembodied leg at. So shuffle on down to your local and see this truly unique British film.

Schramm (1993)

A trip into the mind of a serial killer.

[9/10 · 13 April 2005]

Before I start this review, let the words of German director Jorg Buttgereit explain his intentions: 'Welcome to a trip into the mind of a serial killer. When Franz Rodekirchen and I sat down to write the script for Schramm, we had seen a lot of so-called 'serial killer' movies…it seemed to us that these films were more about some police guys who try to quit smoking because their wife had left them. In the end they hunt the killer down, put him in jail, and the world is saved…So, f--k all the police stories. We couldn't afford to rent a police car anyway. So we started concentrating totally on Schramm - the man, the loner and his guilt, looking for love in a world so far away.' True to his word, Jorg Buttgereit does indeed 'f--k all the police stories' and concentrate on the lonely, emotionally fragile and somewhat psychotic Lothar Schramm (Florian Koerner von Gustorf), a man living alone in a small flat opposite a prostitute (Monika M) whom he lusts after. But Schramm isn't too good at male/female relations, indulging himself with a bizarre blow-up doll rather than make advances towards his true love. Schramm's problems lie directly in his sexuality, killing female victims and putting them in sexual positions for him to photograph and use for his own personal gratification. Schramm punishes himself for his crimes, at one point hammering a nail into his foreskin because of the frustration and sexual inadequacy that often provokes him. He dreams of a literal vagina dentata, a monstrous, toothed female genitalia that crawls in his bed on slippery tentacles towards his crotch. Schramm truly is scared of women, the castration scenario quite literal in his head, and his rage seems to be stemmed from this. But amongst all of the disturbing imagery and violent rage, Schramm dreams of the beach, of being a little boy again, and of the prostitute who lives over the hall from him.

The film is told within a fractured time-line, jumping back and forth between the present (where a fallen Schramm lays dying) and Schramm's past murders. The film is full of disturbing images and hard-hitting gore, but more interestingly, a story of unrequited love. At times it is a hard film to watch, with von Gustorf giving a remarkable performance that seems to defy acting conventions, giving Lothar Schramm an earthy, realistic edge that would be more suited to documentary. The visual style is one of a talented filmmaker with very little money - lots of imaginative movements and angles but with a raw, amateurish edge that only serves to heighten the dark, edgy world of Lothar Schramm.

Bizarrely, about half way through, the film takes a unique and frightening jump completely out of the narrative to show a man shooting himself in the head outside Schramm's flat as the crew film on, supposedly witnessing an unplanned suicide. Although staged, this sequence suggests it is snuff, and its pure incompatibility with the film takes you completely out of the narrative for a few seconds, wondering just what the hell is going on.

Buttgereit, best known for his super 8mm feature Nekromantik, has constructed a unique and powerful film that deals with human feelings and frailties whilst maintaining enough nastiness to please horror fans and a certain art-house pretension that invites analysis into its narrative and imagery. Not for the faint-hearted, or those unfamiliar with Buttgereit's work, Schramm proves to be a thoughtful, intelligent film where not all is what it seems.

At only 60 minutes long, Schramm won't take too much out of your day, but it will stay with you for weeks afterwards, leaving indelible images in your head that you wish you could shake off. Like Schramm, you might feel a little dirty after watching it, but ultimately you'll feel rewarded.

Ju-rei: Gekijô-ban - Kuro-ju-rei (2004)

Derivative Asian horror.

[3/10 · 13 April 2005]

Ghostly women with pale faces and long, dark hair? Check. Said ladies making vaguely comical cackling noises? Check. Creepy set-pieces leading to a confrontation with creepy long-haired, cackling, jittery ghost-women? Absolutely. Scary? Well...no.

Anyone familiar with Japanese horror, and the Ju-on series in particular, will notice some similarities in the above description, and this isn't a brilliant coincidence. Ju-rei takes all of the best bits from Ju-on, and a few other films such as the out-of-focus spectres from Kairo, some of the sound design from the original Texas Chain Saw Massacre etc. and utilises them to almost zero effect. Every scare misses the mark because they have been done so much better so many times before. It's almost as if you are watching a parody of Japanese horror films - the way everything is constructed suggests a meeting with the filmmakers could have gone thus: 'Okay, so the girl hides under the covers but instead of having her come UNDER the sheet, she's waiting ON TOP OF IT!...and we'll use stock sound effect number 24b from the Ju-on catalogue of cackling.' As for the production values; there aren't any. Amateurishly shot on video with a total disregard for framing and lighting, most of Ju-rei looks too dark (in one case, a shot is obviously brightened up in post) and the quality of the transfer (on Pathfinder DVD) is poor, to say the least.

I wouldn't recommend this film to anybody interested in Asian horror. It's dull, repetitive, derivative and completely unrewarding on any level. Avoid.

Sexy Beast (2000)

Excellent British Film!

[9/10 · 12 April 2005]

British Gangster Movies ™ : Think Lock Stock and Two Smoking Barrels, think Snatch, think mockney caricatures, think Guy Ritchie. Then think again. Try to imagine a film where cartoon violence is replaced with brutality, where pointless macho dialogue is replaced with biting, poignant wit and where bland stereotypes are replaced with well-rounded and interesting characters. Think Sexy Beast, a British Gangster Movie ™ with a difference.

Ray Winstone is Gary Dove, a retired bank robber who now resides in sunny Spain, living the quite life with his beautiful wife Amanda Redman. Gary's out of shape. He's putting on weight and his exercise consists of reaching for another margarita by the pool. Gary couldn't be happier...

Ben Kingsley is Don Logan, a psychopathic thug with a foul mouth and a violent temper. He works in London for mob boss Ian McShane, and he's got a job to do; get Gary to come back for one last raid. Gary knows Logan's on his way and he's made up his mind that he's not going to do it. Sounds simple, but Don Logan is not the type of man you want to say no to, as he doesn't take no for an answer. Logan arrives, immediately disrupting Gary's idyllic life with his vulgar mouth and antisocial behaviour, then he tells him about the job. Gary declines, politely. Logan, true to form, insists that he do it. A battle of wills erupts as Gary tries to let Logan down without getting himself or his wife killed, but a brutal psychological showdown leaves Gary with no other option than to do the job… Debut feature director Jonathan Glazer (he of the 'horses riding waves' Guinness advert) keeps the simple story tight and entertaining, combining surrealistic imagery with a sun-soaked Spanish location and concentrating on what makes Sexy Beast a real gem: the performances. Winstone is as good as ever as the put-upon Gary Dove, but this is Kingsley's film, as he takes Logan and makes him his own, making us believe in what could easily have been a one-dimensional character and delivering a multi-layered performance. Witness Gandhi saying lines that would make a dog blush as he insults, threatens and manipulates Gary and his friends with a razor-sharp tongue that spits venom and electrifies the screen. The dialogue is fresh and biting, with some of the most witty and imaginative use of swearing ever committed to film. If you're offended by the dreaded 'C' word, Sexy Beast may not be for you, as it graces almost every line of dialogue throughout the film. In the wrong hands, the script could have been played very badly, but Kingsley's energy and conviction makes the sweary dialogue seem almost poetic. Example: 'You f--kin' doctor-white honking, jam-rag f--kin' spunk bubble! You keep looking at me, Aitch, and I'll put you in the f--kin' ground!' Although this may not read like poetry, you have to listen to Kingsley's wording to appreciate it. But believe me, you'll be quoting Don Logan for weeks! For a director whose output consists mainly of elaborate music videos and commercials, Glazer wisely concentrates instead on acting and narrative to deliver a great film - if only more filmmakers would heed to the simple rule that story and performance make for good entertainment. The style is still there, though, as there are some great surreal visuals and Gary's nightmares of a hairy man-hare wielding a machine gun are incredibly effective. Sexy Beast packs a punch in all departments, never flagging or giving in to distracting sub-plots, but going all out to deliver a tight, thrilling, funny, horrific British Gangster Movie ™ that entertains right up until the far-too-early ending. At a blink-and-you'll-miss-it running time of 84 minutes, Sexy Beast does something that not many films do now days; leave you wanting more.

Freeze Me (2000)

Superior Rape/Revenge Film

[7/10 · 14 January 2005]

The rape-revenge genre is rife with dodgy exploitation pics and under-the-counter sleaze, with I Spit On Your Grave (Day of the Woman) being the most (in)famous and, possibly, the most misogynistic. Artistic merit is not something the rape-revenge film concerns itself with (let's face it, 'Last House on the Left' is a crude, artless fluke), concentrating more on graphic sex / nudity for graphic sex / nudity's sake. Oh, and the rape has to be really horrible to justify the rapists' sticky end (no pun intended).

If you're watching a good example of the genre, you'll be putting yourself in the place of the woman and relating to her, something the horror genre frequently does (it's one of the only genres where men will relate to a woman) and wishing her attackers dead - in any way possible, not necessarily in a sensationalist way.

I think Freeze Me (or Freezer, here in the UK) succeeds in this, as the plight of the female character is always put first. Agreed, there are a lot of gratuitous shots of her naked body, but these act as a reminder to her beauty and frailty. When it comes to the rape, it is often more implied and in no way staged to be titillating, something the more dubious examples try to achieve, rather disturbingly.

Freeze Me, therefore, isn't exactly an enjoyable experience (I'll have to look up the word 'entertainment'), but it is thought-provoking, well-made on a very tight budget, and incredibly disturbing. One of the best examples of this horror sub-genre.