lotheravanti Reviews

Suitable Flesh (2023)

Horrendous

[3/10 · 8 January 2024]

Never in my life have I watched a horror movie and felt like I was watching a cheap prn half the time. The only thing that comes close is the last season of Fortitude.

Bad writing, bad ACTING, cringe scenes, ridiculous plot holes and they have the AUDACITY to cite Lovecraft as one of the "authors". No people, this has NOTHING remotely to do with anything Lovecraft has written.

There's a new trend in horror where talentless writers will try to use well established stories from Lovecraft to prop up their own pitiful attempts.

Finally, when the villain said "the future is female", I simply turned the movie off. Enough is enough.

Guillermo del Toro's Cabinet of Curiosities (2022)

Drops off a cliff

[5/10 · 29 October 2023]

First three episodes are pretty good. Then it all goes into messaging territory with the fourth.

Now, you'd think what they were going for was a commentary on the desire for wmen to be beautiful and praised by everyone, at the cost of being utterly shallow. You'd think that and you'd be wrong. See, in every previous story, the main protagonist faces something in common: consequences. It's consequences for greed, arrogance, hubris.

In the fourth episode, we have a pretty "special" wman that isn't part of the "gang", has what the gang would consider weird hobbies, taxidermy, is smart, good at math. She also has a ton of insecurities. Despite this, she has a genuinely supportive partner who ACTUALLY loves her for who she is.

But she wants to be something else, and with the MAGIC of some MAGIC GOO that causes horrible rashes, she thinks she'll become everything her shallow colleagues are.

The partner keeps trying to warn her, even as she's clearly having hallucinations, to stop using the goo. Of course she ends up killing him and doesn't even bat an eyelid. In fact, all her colleagues openly brag about divorcing their partners and taking EVERYTHING from them.

I saw who direct the episode and it's clear to me what her views on men are, but if she thought this episode was empowering, it wasn't. At the very end the protagonist walks in the door at work and stuns everyone with her makeover and then looks at the camera and laughs. It's utterly disgusting.

If you're going to do something like this, then take an example from Saint Maude where at the very end you see what is REALLY happening to the protagonist. When you don't, then clearly your message is that this is all fine, really.

I stopped watching with episode 4 and looking at the description and review scores for the next 4 episodes, it's clear that more social commentary follows. Shame on Del Torro for endorsing this.

The Fall of the House of Usher (2023)

Gomibako

[1/10 · 16 October 2023]

Since this site wont let me say anything about why this show is utter trash, I am forced to write a general review detailing how disgusting I am with what Flanagan has done here.

Out of all his shows, this one feels like it wasn't even made by him. It's just pure pandering and utterly boring. I couldn't stand to even finish it since I just DID. NOT. CARE. What happens to anyone in the show. The actors who have worked with Flanagan in the past are utterly wasted here.

A reviewer said the show is a perfect social commentary. I saw that's the perfect reason not to watch it. Now I wonder if the site will accept this rview or still decline it.

Sisu (2022)

Glorious in every way

[8/10 · 9 June 2023]

This is the kind of movie Hollywood has forgotten how to make. Not since Sin City have I seen something that is so unabashedly a celebration of violence.

From start to finish I as utterly engaged. The movie does a fine dance of having The Immortal be a super badass, yet never so much that there are no stakes. Every chapter has stakes and good tension. It's such a hard thing to do, yet the film makers have done a wonderful job keeping you literally on the edge of your seat.

If Hollywood isn't going to give us what we want to see, someone else will. Nice to see that someone is stepping up to the plate to fill the void of GLORY.

Mr. Harrigan's Phone (2022)

Waste of time

[2/10 · 21 October 2022]

Don't waste your time with this. This is not Stephen King or even a horror movie. It's a commentary on how phones dominate our lives. Even then, I don't think anyone thinks it's "hip" to have a ton of kids just quietly tapping away on their phones in the cafeteria.

I heard it's based off a short story. I can't imagine who actually wrote this. There is literally no horror to it at all. Some people die, then the protagonist regrets stuff. The end.

It's too bad, the protagonist acted really well in this. Go watch something good like A Cure for Wellness or The Autopsy of Jane Doe. The horror. The horror.

Orphan: First Kill (2022)

Fan of the original? Wont like this

[4/10 · 4 October 2022]

If you liked the first one, you will NOT like this. The actor playing Esther can't pass off as anything but an adult with her face, they should have recast her. Even my gf who didn't watch the first one said "that's an adult".

The story becomes needlessly convoluted and contrived during the second act. Instead of making a Mr. Brookes style movie, which I would have liked to see, they make this ridiculous attempt to make Esther seem just a bit less psycho and justified.

Either you go all in with your story or you don't make it. This is another example of prequels we did not need. 99.99% of prequels should never have been made.

The Black Phone (2021)

Way better than I thought, those masks...

[8/10 · 22 July 2022]

Didn't expect to like it this much. Damn good movie, proving Blumhouse can produce a movie with an interesting script. Ethan Hawke is also amazing in those masks. Guess you don't need to show your face to leave an impression(I'm looking at YOU Mando and Master Chief).

The Terminal List (2022– )

GRIPPING

[9/10 · 8 July 2022]

If I had to sum up the show in one word: gripping. Don't want to spoil it, but this show kept me guessing with its unreliable narrator. Also, Christ Pratt can REALLY act, he's GREAT in this! He's not had the chance to shine before in goofy roles, here he shines. A lot.

It's a well done show, well researched. You can tell when they had actual experts on the production team, like with For All Mankind. It gives it that authenticity that most movies and shows only dream of, because they really are just cheap knock offs of the real thing.

Everything Everywhere All at Once (2022)

Laughed, cried, was amazed. This movie touched my soul

[9/10 · 18 May 2022]

Saw this with my gf. Starts out simple enough, then things get crazy fast. Then things get hilarious. So much random stuff is thrown about, even R rated stuff. Yet despite all that, the core themes come across beautifully and masterfully. Family. Love. Forgiveness. Self Acceptance.

All the other stuff is dressing and entertaining as h*ll. Highly recommend this.

The Northman (2022)

Not for everyone

[9/10 · 1 May 2022]

While I did enjoy the movie immensely, this movie is not for everyone. If you're not a fan of Eggers' work, maybe read a review first. My gf did not enjoy herself.

If you've seen The VVitch or The Lighthouse, both done by Eggers, you almost know what you're in for. It's not quite the abstract movie Green Knight was, by far, but there are fantastic elements that make you wonder "is this really happening"?

All in all, I appreciate the movie for showing you EXACTLY what Viking culture was all about and it is GRITTY as heck. Some of the scenes had me in tears how awesome they were, like when a Valkyrie carries off a half dead warrior. Really well done tribute to the lore.

Expect Hamlet. With Vikings.

Sonic the Hedgehog 2 (2022)

If you liked the first one, you will love this

[7/10 · 5 April 2022]

This is what videogame adaptations should be. Fun, light hearted, adapting stuff from the games in a way that RESPECTS the games and lore.

We get much more Sonic this time around along with new characters Tails and Knuckles. They're all exactly how they should be.

We get more Jim Carey Robotnik goodness throughout the whole movie. We get set pieces that would make Uncharted blush and EPIC fights.

Really, it's everything the first movie did right and more.

Cobra Kai (2018–2025)

Good up until Season 4

[9/10 · 4 January 2022]

I love Cobra Kai. I love it right up to the middle of Season 4 where it devolves into a cheap soap opera. This review will contain Spoilers as we take a look at what went wrong.

The season starts out well enough. Johnny and Daniel are each trying to teach the kids their style. Tensions arise, between the Senseis, but also the formerly rival dojos. They seem to reach another absolute breaking point, when the show pulls a 'magic moment' of brilliant character development that we have come to love.

Somehow, they do end up working together. Somehow, they find a way to complement each other's style. There's even a great moment for both Danny and Johnny after they teach the other their own style and then have to use it in the real world. They realize their style isn't the best or the most appropriate at all times.

So much Cobra Kai goodness until the middle of the season. Then they throw it all away. If up until now all the character growth has been organic, now it's as if someone threw a switch and all legacy characters are reset to their initial state. All the lessons they learned? Forgotten.

The dojos split up again and it all just devolves into a mess. Characters lose their multi-dimensional aspect and become typical Hollywood archetypes, caricatures. It's as if the writers of the show wanted to finish the season properly, setting it up for a most epic finale that would have honored every single major character from every faction. Then Netflix came and said no, we need to milk this more. So what happens in these situations? The story becomes a soap opera.

We're introduced this season to a new villain, the new leader of Cobra Kai. At first, he seems pretty well defined and complex. By the end of the show he becomes a mustache twirling super villain whose only trait is "I am the ruthless capitalist".

What about Robby and Tory? The way they were set up before, they were tragic anti-heroes who just couldn't get past the traumas of their past or the hardships of their life. Well, good news everyone! This season Robby and Tory only get sympathy points, especially after the midway point.

Even Sam's mom sees Tory in a new light and tries to help her time and again. Tory ends up appreciating Sam's mom and actively tries to bury the hatchet. But no no no, Sam wont have any of it. Sam's dominant character trait this season becomes "I just can't let it go". Sam, Miguel, Johnny and Daniel can't have any real growth this season.

There is one disgusting moment that assassinates Johnny's character. During a fight with the villain, he ends up using Miyagi-Do to defend himself. You'd think this would be a big moment, but no, he still ends up getting beaten to a pulp. Miguel finds him in his room afterwards surrounded by empty bottles. Of course he has no idea Johnny was beaten, he just looks like a useless drunk. Miguel helps him get to bed and it seems like they have a father son moment where they each confess how they feel about their relationship. Nope, can't have that. "I love you too, Robby" is what Johnny says, thus confirming what Robby said moments before that he sees Miguel as a replacement for his own son that he failed.

This bring me to whether the show is woke or not. In my opinion, just because the writers try to make it more subtle, when you draw the line this is what you get:

• Final tournament becomes a girl power moment. Their fight is the only fight with real stakes.

• Johnny turns into a bad dad trope, taking all his character growth and relationship with Miguel and tossing it in the bin
• Miguel completely cucks out of the final fight for the boys, just walks away
• Tory and Robby, who are from the "underprivileged" class, get all the sympathy from the writers
• Sam is presented as a privileged stuck up she-dog Karen
• Daniel's son bullies a black kid(of course they went there)
• Expectations are subverted, Cobra Kai wins because it can't die(but the show itself can after this)

What I simply can't get over with this season is how the story sets up the legacy characters to have growth, yet every single one of them is at their worst by the end. In previous seasons they'd make mistakes, but then redeem themselves, at least some of them, but the end. In season 4 we're only left with the mistakes, no redemption.

I started watching this show because William Zabka is amazing. This season, he ends up back in the dark hole we found him in season one for the sole reason that the writers of the show wanted to deconstruct his character and shift the focus away from the "bad white man". Similar things happen to Daniel, Sam and Miguel.

Could have been amazing, now it's doomed to fail.

South Park: South Park: Post COVID (2021) Season 24, Episode 3

Truly special

[9/10 · 22 December 2021]

This, this right here is something truly special. It goes beyond just humor and goes to the heart of what's ailing us as a society today.

I didn't expect this show, of everything, to shine a bright ray of hope, but it did. Thanks.

Antlers (2021)

Not Guillermo del Toro material

[6/10 · 18 December 2021]

I watched this expecting the usual style from del Toro. This isn't that. It's a decent horror movie without the "magic touch" from del Toro. He only produced it, not directed.

Ghostbusters: Afterlife (2021)

Honoring what came before

[8/10 · 3 December 2021]

Just came back from seeing it and I gotta say, it does fan service right. Finally a movie that honors the legacy of what came before. I had fun and I left the theater with a warm glowing feeling. Make sure to stay for the 2 after credits scenes, one is at the very end.

Paranormal Activity: Next of Kin (2021)

Not a Paranormal Activity movie

[4/10 · 2 November 2021]

It's ok I guess, but this has nothing to do with Paranormal Activity. It's more like The Ritual than anything else, except not even 1/100 as good.

This movie devolved into a generic monster flick at the end. There's a reason the other movies in the series at least had some creepy atmosphere because you never really saw "the monster". All in all, it's way way worse than the worst Paranormal Activity movie.

The Tomorrow War (2021)

Good old sci fi

[9/10 · 9 July 2021]

So refreshing to see a good old action sci fi that is well done and has plenty of heart. So rare to see family values in movies. I loved it!

Greenland (2020)

Discount Deep Impact

[5/10 · 13 November 2020]

Take a rehash of Deep Impact, but with half its budget and you get a movie that makes you feel cheated if you saw in in theatres. This is disaster pr0n without the disaster.

3/4 of the movie is just like watching The Walking Dead. That bad, boring episodes. Then when it comes to the actual disaster..................nothing. I'm serious, it's worse than the first of the new Godzilla movies where the scene would cut away just as the monsters would start fighting.

Waste of time, go see Armageddon again.

Fortitude (2015–2018)

Could have been great

[6/10 · 3 November 2020]

First season was great. Great characters, very interesting and complex characters, very gray. Although it was a slow burn, it kept you engaged.

You can stop right there because the second season falls off a cliff. First of all, it's clear there were diversity quotas since they shove in a bunch of new characters and EVERY SINGLE one of them is "diverse". It's not full on woke, yet, but it's starting to look like it.

Unfortunately, every time I've seen blatant diversity shoved in, the story suffers. This is the case here as well. In the second season gone are the characters we knew, no one acts like themselves anymore. Major character plot threads are not explained, the writers perform giant leaps to get them where they want them to be, but it doesn't feel authentic.

It's clear that this was supposed to be a 1 season show and everything from season 2 on is forced.

See just the 1st season, that at least is worth it.

Relic (2020)

This is true horror

[8/10 · 1 September 2020]

This is what a horror movie should be. It's a gradual descent into a living nightmare. In fact, it's so well done, it even reminds me of some of my own nightmares.

Looks like another win for Australian horror, after the Babadook.

Bad Boys for Life (2020)

Woke af

[3/10 · 28 August 2020]

This movie's only purpose is to tear down the Bad Boys' characters. We see them be all pathetic and washed out, especially Mike Lawrence who is not a complete pacifist.

We have Will Smith being berated by the new progressive "special team" unironically called AMMO who are better than the Bad Boys in every way.

But what really killed it for me was when we find out that Will Smith was undercover before the plot of the first movie. There he learned EVERYTHING he knows from a strong latina gangster woman who MADE him a Bad Boy.

Woke trash.

Safety Not Guaranteed (2012)

Don't read any reviews

[7/10 · 26 August 2020]

Just watch the movie. Go in it knowing as little as possible. You'll be glad you did.

The Host (2006)

Blew me away

[8/10 · 26 August 2020]

After seeing Parasite I wanted to see the director's other movies and I was not disappointed. This movie made me FEEL a lot of things, very strongly. In my opinion, that's what great movies do.

Stalker (1979)

Not sci-fi

[5/10 · 25 August 2020]

This movie isn't sci-fi, it's pure philosophy that comes across just as poorly as Heidegger's Sein und Zeit. Other than the visuals, it's a 2 hour 40 minute snore fest. People don't really want what they think they want? Yawn, the concept is so poorly done. Only edgy "critics" love this movie because they think it makes them smart.

You see, David Lynch is clever, but this, this is just trash.

The Greasy Strangler (2016)

Garbage of the finest quality

[5/10 · 21 August 2020]

Sometimes I want to just watch a movie that is deliberately garbage. This is that movie for me. In comparison, The Fanatic is quite tame. It's not in the "so bad it's good" The Room space, but it does make you go wtf every 3 minutes. That's quality trash in my book.