pinkybanana2000 Reviews

Copenhagen (2014)

Looks like it was written by a twenty-something with a fantasy

[6/10 · 24 January 2015]

There is one redeeming feature in this movie - the beautiful city of Copenhagen which I hope to visit someday. Beyond that, we have a less- than convincing portrayal of a forbidden romance between Will, an American-born twenty- something and Effy, a Danish teenager, with the teenager pulling most of the strings. The ostensible reason for the film, which is the desire of of Will to meet his Danish grandfather for the first time, gets short shrift amid this contrived interplay between the two characters. Frankly, that story would have been more compelling. It was cutesy at some point, if that's your cup of tea.

Some misguided critics describe this as "coming of age" film. Who, exactly, is coming of age? One is an adult and the other is a child. Like many a young male adult, the writer seems to think it is okay to pursue a relationship with an underage teenage girl. There are potential clues as to her age, but Will manages to miss them, until it is convenient to discover them. He then offers a half-hearted resistance before engaging in an inappropriate nude scene (perhaps even sex) with her.

Labor Day (2013)

Nothing rescues this movie (SPOILERS)

[2/10 · 2 January 2015]

This is a very bad movie. From the conception to the execution, it is a bad idea.

First, the conception. A divorced mother living with her pre-teen son accosts an escaped prisoner in the supermarket. Even the progress of that scene was too clumsy. The prisoner merely summons the boy, talks him into accompanying him. And, on the way, he steals a jacket and a baseball cap. We are not told whether there is anything in the boy's past that makes him susceptible to this kind of blatant manipulation. It seems to me that he could have simply walked back to his mother, or screamed. It was during the day. There were several shoppers. I presume the store has some security apparatus in place.

Then, the mother as the equally naive, but unwitting accomplice. Despite being within earshot of several shoppers, the mother then decides it is a good idea to let this stranger ride with them to their house. Whatever hesitation she had was so tepid, it was barely noticeable.

Then, the-I-can't-believe-they-are-trying-to-make-a-romantic-movie- out-of-this chain of events. Predictably, this hunky escaped murderer turns to be quite handy. He can fix cars, he can do things around the house. Heck, he even knows how to cook. At no time did anyone of the other two decide, "hmmm...this is not a good idea. We don't know this guy."

Things reach absurd levels of incredulity before the boy wises up, albeit prompted by a smart, but potty-mouthed girl of approximately the same age, and he contacts his estranged father who calls the police. Thereafter, the fugitive is arrested.

Oh, but they fall in love in the meantime. Don't tell me you didn't see that coming. And, at the end we learn that upon release, after spending more than a decade in jail, she was still waiting for him. Okay, whatever.

Why I hate this movie, apart from the rather pretentious plot and bad execution is the message: that a divorced woman with her young child should take in an escaped murderer in the off-chance that they might fall in love. It makes you shudder at the concept. Please, ladies, do not do this.

Stand Up Guys (2012)

Geriatric vigilantes on patrol (SPOILERS)

[5/10 · 19 November 2014]

And acting like wild cowboys despite their advancing age. A misguided yarn that merely shows how low Al Pacino and Christopher Walken have sunk. I don't think there was even a script. I think they ad-libbed it all. Not hard to do for seasoned actors. After a few minutes, you realize it's not a serious movie, so you just let it play in the background while doing housework.

Three old-timers who can no longer get it up without Viagra engage in juvenile antics, including stealing a car, engaging in a high-speed chase, visiting an escort service, and shooting up the place, while reminiscing about the past. The shooting only works because most of their targets stayed still enough for their arthritic fingers to slowly pull out their guns. Predictably, one of them croaks while at it.

It is billed as a comedy, but if you crack a smile, it's not because the movie is even remotely believable. It is because of the incredulity of it all. It will appeal to you if you are now on social security and once dreamed of being a hot-shot in your youth but the only action you got was playing cops and robbers in the backyard with your kid brother, and in adulthood, you spent your entire career as a mailman. Just remember it was all a dream.

Nymphomaniac: Vol. II (2013)

Behind the nudity is a really interesting story

[8/10 · 3 November 2014]

*****THIS COULD CONTAIN SPOILERS***

I am no movie expert, but after seeing so many "reviewers" dismiss this as porno, I felt the need to state my disagreement.

First, it is true there is a whole lot of nudity. Short of seeing an X-rated movie, it is not easy to understate the nudity. Some of it seemed gratuitous, but do not underestimate the power of imagery.

Second, it is not pornographic. Oh, no. You can tell when a movie is pornographic. As a red-blooded male were you aroused? If the answer is no, then it is not pornographic. At no time was I aroused.

Third, there is a really compelling back story. One more relevant and more engrossing than the naked bodies. I suspect that many a viewer could relate to one or more of the characters. And I suspect you were so caught up in the story, you had no time to be aroused.

There is some slyness in how the story is told. It is as if von Trier was toying with us. Read the reviews of actual experts and most of them could explain his intentions better than those of us on this board.

It is a very easy story to follow: an unusually sexually active female engages in reckless and wanton sex with any and everybody. In the process, she suffers all the emotions, including, but not limited to, anger, jealousy, humiliation, abuse and rejection that was bound to ensue. There is some redemption in the end, it seems. If you can see that, the movie has achieved its aim. By the way, the movie is titled "Nymphomaniac." Why should the subject-matter surprise anybody?

Nuit #1 (2011)

A fairly atypical romance movie that tugs at you in strange ways

[8/10 · 12 March 2014]

I saved this movie on my Netflix's list for so long, and I could never bring myself to view it because it's an indy and all, and with all indies, it's hit or miss. Then, for no reason, I turned it on and couldn't stop. Okay, the first 15 minutes were just steamy sex. Thereafter, the movie settled down to serious stuff.

This movie affected me in strange ways. I am much older than this couple, yet I marveled at their life experience. It is the helplessness and hopelessness and carelessness of youth. I was once their age, but I was never come close to doing any of the things they had done. My life was typical, almost too boring to bear.

This is a low-budget film, but very thoughtfully made and well-acted. A young man and a young man meet on a dance floor, and end up in his apartment to have sex the same night. After that transpires, the "now what?" is very revealing.

This is the story of two "lost" souls, both searching for a meaning, but living each day in a haze of drugs, sex and alcohol, yet finding hopelessness wherever they turn. Long after they should have known better, they continue to exist in this warp of self-destructive behavior. In the end, you are left with a feeling of emptiness for this couple, yet you think that it might all work out.

The ending doesn't really neatly tie up things. Good thing that it doesn't. They will continue to struggle, but it seems two lost souls found one another.

Kill Me Later (2001)

Better than it looks

[7/10 · 12 February 2014]

***SPOILER ALERT***

The plot of this movie is easy to summarize. A suicidal girl is taken hostage, but bonds with the assailant from whom she extracts a promise to kill her once they escape. If it was her plan to die anyway, what does it matter who does it? You would think you could write the rest of the story and the ending. You'd be wrong.

There are not so much plot twists as there are subtle shifts in direction. I like the little oddities. The fact that the thief is English. If this happened in New York, it wouldn't be surprising. But this takes place in Washington state. There is the other little oddity I noticed. They are so close to the Canadian border that, in one shot, you could see the Canada Mail postboxes.

Even though the ending is predictable, how they get there will, once again, surprise you.

Watch it. You'd be pleasantly surprised.

Once Upon a Time Veronica (2012)

I wanted this movie to be 10 hours long

[9/10 · 17 January 2014]

What a beauty! For once, I was so drawn to a movie that I never wanted it to end. If you are into fast-paced action with lots of vituperation, this is not for you. But if you like your movies to be profound, slow-paced, insightful, and thought-provoking, you will enjoy this movie. Also, it has none of the heartbreaks that you see in a movie like this.

Veronica is a newly-minted medical doctor, undergoing her residency. She shares her life with her aging father, on whom she dotes, the way he must have done for her when she was young. The beauty of the relationship between father and daughter alone is sufficient to love this movie.

She secures a psychiatry consultation in a public hospital, but she finds herself drawn to her patients, experiencing many of the same doubts, insecurities and existential malaise which plague her patients. Her love life also suffers to the same extent; she can't seem to find her footing.

Having drifted for a while, she finally catches a break which allows her to reset her life, her love and her family, and finally everything has meaning.

Casualties (1997)

Ignore the naysayers

[8/10 · 12 January 2014]

I am sorry, but this is a really good movie. If you buy into the assumption that the ending is predictable, it is because thrillers end in predictable ways. Nobody can claim they foresaw the twist with the "savior" becoming the hunter.

PLEASE DO NOT READ BEYOND THIS POINT IF YOU DO NOT WANT A SPOILER.

Annie was a runaway at 19 from an abusive home. She hitches up with Bill, who later, or always was, a cop. The problem is Bill is no less a psycho than her abusive upbringing. He controls what she does, and abuses her physically and mentally.

Enter Tommy, who had also enrolled in Annie's cooking class, and in whom Annie confides. He gently suggests that Annie kill her husband, Bill. Annie is reluctant at first, but is only happy to go along after a particularly bad episode of domestic violence. The murderer would be Tommy, all with the assurance that the hit would be painless and leave no trace. Tommy carries out the hit on Bill, who whether deliberately or accidentally, is able to fight back, leaving evidence that would implicate Annie.

What Annie does not know is that Bill was always a target for Tommy who is a professional hit-man hired (presumably) by a drug gang which was busted by Bill and two colleagues. Tommy had already killed one member of the gang-busting trio of cops. Bill was his second. The third cop, Clark is being looked at as a possible suspect, mostly because Annie had disappeared in the meantime, and his supervisors suspect that because Clark is close to Annie, they were lovers.

After killing Bill, Tommy lures Annie to his den with the assurance that this would be his last job, and he and Annie would flee to China. But Tommy scares Annie enough that she does her own snooping and realizes that she is in a deadly situation. While Tommy was planning to kill the Clark, Annie is able to alert him. Together, they finish off Tommy in a messy finale.

It is a well-acted movie. It is particularly violent and disturbing. It delivers the message concisely. Why it didn't garner more accolades is beyond me. Perhaps it is being rated by jaded people who have seen a lot of this kind of movies and are not impressed. Me? I was.

I Can't Think Straight (2008)

A parade of impossibly beautiful women

[5/10 · 11 January 2014]

The Netflix summary was promising. I stared at it on my queue for weeks before I took the plunge and watched it. I must say I was slightly disappointed.

More soap opera episode than substantive movie, this offering aims to tackle an important but taboo subject: homosexuality within two very conservative families, infused with a healthy dose of Middle East politics. As a vehicle for this critical message, it fails among the stunningly beautiful women (or people) and glitzy set. Both were a distraction. Even the help was made up of beautiful people.

There were also too many people and there was not enough character development to properly introduce you to each one. The actors weren't that good. None of them could summon the right emotion for the circumstances. They uttered their lines with the conviction of POWs.

As for the substance of the movie, it promised more than it delivered. We know that a wedding was called off because a bride later found out she was homosexual. We know that one of the women (which one???) later fell in love with another woman, only to end up with the first woman who introduced her to homosexuality. Nothing further is said about the second woman. If this sentence has you confused, you can see how I felt.

The only redeeming feature was the somewhat surprising outcome. Neither family freaked out.

Watch it for the eye candy.

Skyfall (2012)

If the name James Bond wasn't attached

[3/10 · 2 January 2014]

This is the fast-food equivalent of cinema. Just because this movie earned a billion dollars doesn't make it a good one, just as healthy quarterly statements don't prove that fast food is quality food. If this movie was called Skyfall with a generic actor, it wouldn't gross more than $30 million.

I have never been enthralled with Bond movies, because after reading all the Ian Fleming novels when I was a teenager, I always thought the movies were too far out with the gadgetry and superhuman abilities and all. Nonetheless, I watched some of them over the years because they were available.

A lot of things wrong with this movie have been catalogued, but I'll pile on for good measure:

1. Where is the suave, sophisticated Bond? You know, the guy who can order a drink with the best of them? Where is the tuxedo? In this movie, he was relegated to thuggery, like forcing his way into a moving train by basically yelling at the train operator. No sly, clever one-liners, this one.

2. Why "humanize" Bond by showing the place of his birth, and revealing the names and tombstone of his parents? Or showing him crying when M died? What does that accomplish, other than soupy, soap-opera stuff?

3. Why allow his parents' home to be destroyed? If he was human, wouldn't he want to save it to preserve the memories of his parents? What happens to Kincaid now that the house is gone?

4. Why show us that M needs to report a legislative panel? We assume that. We don't need to see her getting grilled.

5. What was the deal with resurrecting the Aston Martin and all the gadgets? It served no useful purpose. It seemed a contrived and desperate move to appeal to the past.

6. Why even make this film? Why not do a remake of the original Fleming novels? You know, a fresher, "On Her Majesty's Secret Service" with new gadgets.

It might be time to stop making Bond movies (I know, I know, they'll never stop so long as the money keeps pouring in), but they clearly have run out of ideas. Pretty soon, computer-savvy kids will churn out this kind of movies anyway.

I watched this movie with my non-fluent-English-speaking wife. While she'd heard of the name, she has never seen a Bond movie. At least half a dozen times, she turned to me and rolled her eyes. Yet, we'd seen a few action movies which she liked. To me, her reaction said a lot.

My Teacher's Wife (1999)

The title says it all

[3/10 · 26 December 2013]

****CONTAINS SPOILERS****

Any imaginative viewer could create the entire movie based on the title alone. Todd has a crush on his attractive math tutor, played by Tia Carrere who is to acting what candy sprinkles are to a cupcake: they don't add much except the aesthetics. You are waiting for the moment when she goes au naturel, after which you turn off the movie and go to sleep. There wasn't much after that, not that there was much before that to begin with, in that it doesn't really deliver on that premise of the suggestive title. If you had your Vaseline ready, you'd be disappointed.

The best scene for me was the soccer scene where his friend Faber is the incomparably inept goalkeeper. It was an actually funny stretch.

You wonder why he ditches his equally attractive girlfriend to bed his married tutor, considering how bad things could get and did get. For good measure, his dreams of going to Harvard never materialize. Karma, maybe? Oh, I can suggest a title for the sequel, "My teacher's wife's even hotter teenage sister."

Milf (2010 Video)

An aimless movie made by a very smart person

[4/10 · 23 December 2013]

Who cares about artistic quality? Make a movie with the title of "MILF" (we all know what that means), get a bunch of attractive, mature women to take off their tops, and you have a winner. Every teenage male fantasy is fulfilled in this movie, and this not family fare. It is late night, home alone stuff. The DVD sales alone will surpass some porn offerings and anything Joe Francis could come up with, considering that these women are not porn stars or nubile teenagers. I mean, which red-blooded male doesn't like a naked, attractive, mature woman? The budget is only $500,000. Expect the producers to recoup this and more. A very smart move indeed.

The Promise (1979)

A farce that could use a few twists

[3/10 · 20 December 2013]

******SPOILER ALERT****

What is the difference between this movie and "Mrs. Doubtfire?" Bear with me, I am just making a comparison. It is this. The latter was a comedy, so you could laugh at the antics of a father disguised as a woman to get access to his kids. And his ex-wife does not notice. Okay, it suspends disbelief a lot, but it is a comedy.

Movies suspend disbelief, that's why they are movies. Stars Wars is fantasy, and we know that before we start to watch. For the length of the movie we pretend that such space ships exist and that aliens abound. We leave the theater and face reality. It never pretends to be anything else.

In this movie, Michael is so in love with Nancy and wants to marry her against his mother's wishes, but loses contact with her for a year after an accident involving the two of them. Michael's manipulative mother enters a pact with her not to marry her son if she pays for reconstructive surgery. She undergoes reconstructive surgery and her face is somewhat transformed.

So what? When they next meet, he does not recognize her facially nor by any other attribute which he is bound to be very familiar with. Therein lies the plot of a completely silly, implausible set of circumstances that should get the movie laughed out of theaters. Even identical twins have different mannerisms that allow their loved ones to tell them apart in the darkness.

So Michael is fooled not only by Nancy's new looks, but fails to notice, a. her mannerisms, which are pretty unique to every individual and were unaffected by the accident, b. her voice, also unique, c. her artistic disposition which matches that of Nancy, his girlfriend, WHILE STANDING IN HER GALLERY.

Add to that other silly stuff, like a. the mother was arranging for a plastic surgeon for Nancy who she swears can restore her looks, even though she has never met him, all while the wounds were still fresh, b. the fact that Michael just accepted the explanation that Nancy died in the accident and so never asked to visit her grave site, or even ask where she was buried, especially since he knows what his mother is capable of, c. Michael all of a sudden develops an interest in working for his mother, even though he was so ready to forgo all that to marry Nancy, d. the fact that Michael's friend, Ben, who was also familiar with her, and was a passenger in the crashed auto did not ask any of these questions, even though he was the least injured of the trio, d. Ben just so happened to stumble upon her gallery while driving by, and interacts with her but never recognizes her.

So, pray, who does recognize her? Well, glad you asked. His MOTHER, who is not shown to have met her at all until right after the accident, with her face heavily swadded in bandages and tiny slits for eyes and mouth.

Like I alluded to, a few more twists would have helped. This movie would have made sense if Ben had recognized her right away, but promised not tell Michael, after all, there is the pact with the mother. Or Michael having failed to recognize her, Nancy takes offense and ends up in the arms of another man, particularly the one who was helping her rehabilitate. There is no explanation why a strikingly beautiful Nancy was still unattached at this time. At first, I thought it was an episode in The Young and The Restless. When I realized it was a full blown movie, I had to laugh.

No Rest for the Wicked (2011)

A deeply unsatisfying movie with no real purpose

[3/10 · 25 November 2013]

One day, a drunken police officer callously guns down two bartenders who refuse to serve him any more alcohol because he was already drunk. He does this after showing them his badge. One of them manages to get away.

No real explanation is given at that time why he goes around killing people who would not let him have more alcohol. Later on, it is explained that he might have some psychiatric problems, though nobody is sure why he is then allowed to continue on the force, particularly after it is alleged that, prior to this, other persons may have been killed or seriously wounded by him.

The movies then plods on, slowly and confusingly while this crooked officer searches for the witness ostensibly with the aim of removing him. At this point, it is brilliant why this witness did not just go to the police and ID him. It is because the witness was himself involved in illegal activity. Why not continue on this predictable path is beyond me. For some strange reason, the movies veers into an unnecessarily complicated direction, multiple characters introduced and disposed of without explanation.

Thereupon, it stumbles onto right-wing red meat territory. There are Arab terrorists bent on blowing up people on the streets to protest the upcoming G-20 summit. The connection is tenuous, at best. First of all, it is like Arabs have nothing better to do but go around blowing up people. Secondly, G-20 summits don't usually attract Arabs. It is the domain of young people fighting inequality. But no matter. The silliness continues to where this cop stumbles upon the bombing plot, and kills three of the terrorists.

Movies have plot twists all the time. The best of them challenge you or leave you in amazement because you don't see them coming. This one is a gratuitous shot at an easy target. In the end we are left with this unsatisfying feeling that a murderous cop is a hero because he gunned down the would-be terrorists.

This confused maelstrom of a movie won awards alright because it panders to a predictable constituency. Much like fast food makes money even though there is no real nutrition, just sweeteners.

Playing for Keeps (2012)

A waste of good talent and money

[3/10 · 20 November 2013]

******SPOILER ALERT***** This turkey of a movie stars George, a retired soccer-player who takes over coaching his son's soccer team. Problem is, his son lives with his ex-wife, who is now engaged to marry Matt. Had the movie maintained this entirely believable plot line, it would be a decent movie. But the writers decided to insult our collective intelligence bait-and-switch style.

The ex-wife, Stacey, never shows much overt interest in George, save for a couple of weak scenes. She remembers that he left her when the child was only about four years old. She is shown merely tolerating his presence and encouraging him to be a better dad. But somehow they manage to end up together again. SO, WHEN DID THIS TRANSFORMATION OCCUR? She certainly was not around him long enough to notice any major change in him. The scene at the bridal shop was an imposition, and she saw suggestive pictures of him and another woman. Jeeze.

The writers obviously can't decide if George is a jerk for abandoning his child, a womanizer who attracts all those women, or a decent guy because he wouldn't sleep with the wife of another parent. But, they manage to confuse us further when George uses the team's money to pay his rent. Oh, boy.

The film ends with the improbable reunion of George and Stacey, after Stacey calls off the wedding. For good measure, it incorporates an impromptu soccer game in the front yard of Stacy and his now ex-fiancée, never mind that he would be steaming by now. There is no explanation why they would rub it in like this, considering that throughout the movie, Matt is portrayed as an upstanding good guy. Somewhere, it is described as a comedy. Mmmm… okay. If you say so.

Jukeodo joha (2002)

A frank look at geriatric love

[8/10 · 15 November 2013]

****THIS REVIEW CONTAINS SPOILERS**** This is a movie about an old couple who found love with each other after losing their respective partners. It takes place in a run-down undeveloped part of a Korean city. The interesting part is that the old are like you and I: they enjoy sex, they fight, and they care for each other.

This is true love. It is deep, committed and satisfying. The scenes tended to be so long you could remember all of them without trying. The entire movie is only slightly longer than an hour. If events unfold too slowly for some, consider the age of the characters. There isn't much to do other than household chores, keeping each happy/satisfied, and generally lounging.

They sleep on a mattress on floor, and there is almost no furniture, so you can assume they do not have the means for too many outings.

Two things strike you: there is a lot of sex between this couple, and you need someone as you grow older. Shorn of all the trappings of wealth and distractions, you observe their life at the most basic level. You should find nothing wrong with that.

Stripper: Natasha Kizmet (2009)

Not sure what they were trying to do

[4/10 · 11 November 2013]

Was this a documentary on somebody's life? Forgive me, but it wasn't obvious to me. There seems to not be any script, or just a very basic one. It was easy to follow, and this woman is very beautiful. Nonetheless, I didn't get it. Oh, don't get me wrong: for a red-blooded male, it hits the right notes. She fulfills all your prurient desires and more. The crass behavior of some of the men attest to that, not to mention the obligatory Ron Jeremy appearance, complete with crotch-grabbing antics. She is very bright, and even her obvious attributes don't do her justice as an intelligent woman. That might be the sad part. The fact that she didn't choose to be another kind of professional.

Assault on Wall Street (2013)

A video-game fantasy devoid of credibility

[3/10 · 11 November 2013]

****MAJOR SPOILERS***** If you are an Enron ex-employee or a Madoff victim, this is your fantasy. If you could get your hands on some guns and randomly mow down all the guilty parties, but somehow not get caught, you'd feel vindicated.

This guy gets royally screwed by everybody, and to top it off, his wife kills herself. You can understand his anger. Except that the director tests the limits of credulity by his mode of revenge. In a city with zero tolerance for guns, he somehow manages to acquire an arsenal. First, he goes target practicing within feet of passing trains. Hmmm…okay.

Then, with unerring accuracy he meticulously plucks off everyone responsible for his malaise, including a few innocents, some of this in a heavily surveilled and policed part of Manhattan. And then he gets away with it all, promising to continue. Even his faux-confession with law enforcement next to him passes unnoticed.

The one bright spot is the dialogue which was not bad except for the naked pandering at the end. You wish this was a movie about a guy with some kick-ass computer skills who could use those skills to wipe some wall streeter's net worth and smirk.

The Fall (I) (2013–2016)

Four-part series stretched to five, terrible ending but refreshing

[8/10 · 7 November 2013]

Warning ****May contain spoilers***

A police detective series not set in NY or LA, or even Paris or London, so it had my interest. I watched the entire five-part series in two sittings. I was hooked from the beginning. I could identify the multiple characters after the second time, something not normally easy for me.

I thought the killer was eerily good. He led a mundane normal everyday life. You can see why there wouldn't be any focus on him right away, even though there were some tense exchanges. His wife was an awesome, almost angelic beautiful woman who was the perfect contrast.

It was good to see so many fully bearded police officers, something not quite popular here in States, even though mustaches are quite common.

I thought Gillian Anderson was a weak choice as detective. She was just lifeless. Not that she needed to shout or break down doors, but that she gets lost in mix. This was a four-part series at best. At certain points, it was really slow and you wanted it to get moving. Certain scenes stretched two long. The ending really was crappy. Unless they knew the series would be renewed, it should have been wrapped up after these five episodes.

Park Benches (2009)

Was it just me?

[1/10 · 21 February 2013]

This movie plodded along listlessly with no particular message. Finally, I could take it no more. I mercifully killed it, gave it one star on Netflix and moved on to other things.

It started well enough. Had it just stuck to that theme, you might have been able to salvage some of it. You don't throw Catherine Deneveux into a movie unless it is a serious movie. The scenes were way too long, there were too many characters, and you could not really identify with any of them. Frankly, it was no different from taking your camera to your office and filming your colleagues in various states of mischief and trying to pass it on as a serious movie.