levitak Reviews

The Siege (2023)

One of the worst movies I have ever seen

[1/10 · 20 March 2023]

I am no movie snob. I grew up on cheesy 90's actions. Let me be clear even though they clearly wanted to go with a cheesy 90's action vibe that's not what this movie is. This.....I don't even know how to describe. It feels like something made by a bunch of teen boys and shot with their iphone.

Every part of this is horrible. From the absolutely atrocious scrip which feels as if it's written by a 12 year old , to cinematography which makes most vacation videos look like a master piece, to the horrible sound and score but perhaps the worst part of all is the acting. I have no idea who the actor is that portrays the main character but I am 100% sure he is just a body builder who has never taken an acting lesson in life. Every scene with him is just an atrocity. He seems almost entirely dedicated to posing and showing off his muscles and he barely capable of reacting to anything around him or interacting with his co stars. His fight scenes are hilariously and you can practically hear how much he strains to make his voice sound rough to make his voice sound more video gamey

I have no idea how movie was greenlit much less how it got it's low level internet popularity but I am completely convinced that it has to do with nepotism. That someone involved with this atrocity has a daddy in the industry who pulled some strings. I really hope that some movie blogger with too much time on their hands does an investigation in the history of this movie and what kind of strings had to be pulled for it to see the light of the day because this would be a thousand times more interesting then this atrocity

TL;DR. It's very bad. Don't watch it.

Warrior Nun (2020–2022)

This started out as a fun show but it became a masterpiece

[10/10 · 14 November 2022]

Season 1 was a fun well produced show with great acting and an interesting story but season 2 ? I haven't seen such drastic rise in quality since Terminator 2 completely blew away the first part . Season 2 is just a masterpiece . The gorgeous scenery of Europe , the fantastic choreography ( seriously the fight scenes are better then quite a few Marvel movies ) , the beautiful acting it's all just well say I am going to say it . A master piece

And I cannot stress enough the brilliant acting and physical skills of Alba Baptista and Kristina Tonteri-Young. Not only is their chemistry off the charts but their acting is beyond impressive . The sheer emotions and intensity they show makes you feel so much . And their physical skills are superb . Especially Kristina's . Her fight scenes are always incredible , from what I understand she used to be a ballerina so it's no wonder that these skills manage to translate into some of the most amazing choreography I have seen

I strongly urge you to check out Warrior Fun . The first season will be a fun experience but the second will take your breath away and make you feel so much joy.

Crush (I) (2022)

A perfect movie that knows it's audience and delivers

[10/10 · 30 April 2022]

I don't often use the word perfect when it comes to a movie but this one comes really close.

This movie is meant to be a lighthearted sapphic romance and it does it's job admirably. You can tell that the writers have spent a lot of time on sapphic Ao3 because they nail every beloved trope perfectly.

The cast is wonderful as well. Auli'i Cravalho is a revelation. I have rarely seen someone representing pining so well Mega Mullaly is hilarious and plays such an amazing mom. Rowan Blanchard does a fine job of playing a gay mess

An especially great thing is that there is zero homophobia in this movie. Not unlike Schitt's Creek queer people here are just allowed to be without having to constantly represent the everyday day they face

Of course this movie is not for anyone. It's meant for the queer community and if you are not part of it a lot of it might go over your head or make you angry(the way several borderline homophobic reviews have already shown).

The Contractor (2022)

A truly bizzare movie that makes little sense

[3/10 · 1 April 2022]

One of the key elements of any movie is having a main character you can root for. They don't necessarily have to be a good person, they just have to be compelling. This movie missed the mark on this big time.

The main character is some American soldier who gets kicked out of the military. He is supposed to be compelling but he simply pathetic. Finding himself broke he decides to start committing atrocities for money aka become a mercenary and he absolutely doesn't hesitate to do it until finally halfway through the movie he develops some minor signs of conscience.

Instead of using the amazing charm both Chris Pine and Gillian Jacobs have to give us a fun action movie the bizzare team behind this tried to go for drama that seems to be targeted at the those weird flag waving endlessly talk about the troops Americans and seemingly no one else

It's a poorly made movie not worth your time. The only reason I watched it was because I love Chris Pine and Gillian Jacobs both of whom deserve better then this.

Resident Evil: Welcome to Raccoon City (2021)

A weak movie with a great cast

[4/10 · 22 December 2021]

Almost twenty years ago the first Resident Evil movie dropped and it was awesome. An immensely fun and beautifully shot action movie that kept you on the edge of your seat starring Milla Jovovich who was beyond charismatic and badass. The sequels were a bit weaker but they were still fun and the franchise went to make went on to make over 1.2billion dollars.

This attempt at a reboot was an embarrassment. A complete waste of the great talents of Kaya Scodelario and Hannah John-Kamen . And while the low production value and crappy writing are of course one of the major issues I think it all comes from the fact that this movies clearly tried to pander to the video game nerds. I never played the games but you could practically see how desperately they were trying to appeal to game. I have no doubt that the entire cast are characters directly from the games and that the stupid mansion and orphanage are outright video game levels.

There are some adaptations where sticking to the source material is a good idea. And there are others where you should take the basic premise and ditch the source material. This movie clearly indicates that when it comes to Resident Evil say a big f you to the source material and doing your own thing is way way better

TL;DR: Don't bother with this and just rewatch the original movie.

Bad Meat (2011)

This movie is extremely bad

[1/10 · 17 June 2013]

The movie has the same old premise as a gazzilion other movies. Several different stereotypes of troubled teens meet in of those messed up semi concentration camps where that are currently popular amongst the most incompetent and douchiest parents in the USA There is failed attempts at trying to delve deeper into the characters but as mentioned it's a failure.

The movie was badly shot as well and the scene didn't follow smoothly. The music was one of the most horrible things I have ever seen. It didn't fit at all with the movie scenes and it was just plain bad. I tried to look at the credits to see who was responsible for this failure but the man was apparently so ashamed of himself he is not credited. I don't know how talented and actors Like Elisabeth Harnois and Dave Franco got suck with this abomination. I am guessing they either lost a bet or the director held heir family hostage. But they both deserve so much better Oh yes speaking of the director he seems to have a vomiting fetish that he explores fully in this movie. Yeah let that sink it. The few gratuitous underwear shots of the girls really dodn't make up for the extensive vomiting. This movie is a failure. Don't watch it

The Three Musketeers (2011)

A great action movie!

[10/10 · 18 October 2011]

There is one VERY important thing that everybody should know going into this movie. And that's that this is not about a faithful interpretation of the books. Nor is it about some deep drama. Anybody who is expecting this(or criticizing the movie for it) is frankly an idiot. From the beginning to the end the movie never hides what it is. Hell it show it quite clearly in the trailers as well. It's a truly great fun packed action movie. And that's it's essence. Fun action movie.

Now for more details. First the question is the 3d worth it? Not really unless you have some money to spare. Is the 3d horrible. Also no. It's decent Nothing really worth paying additional money for but also it's not horribly done like so many conversions.

However the visuals are rather great. You have some truly beautiful scenery and some pretty damn good action scenes. Not to mention the pretty people ;) Speaking of the people the acting was very decent. Milla Jovovich shines as milady. Combined the playfulness and deviousness with truly great ass kicking ability and some extremely well executed abilities. Not to mention that her stunning beauty is even more visible here. Also bonus to Gabriel Wild as Constance who is the very picture of innocent and angelic looking The Three Musketeers are great. They have a great chemistry and yet each one manages to shine on his own.

D'Artagnan does have that "little sh*t" as pointed out by several characters vibe but I think mostly due to how the actor looks On the villain side we have some great performances. From the great performance of the calculating Cardinal to the wonderful basterd that is Rochefort who is truly fun as a villain who never plays fair even if he has all the advantages :) Orlando Bloom makes a very decent semi bad guy who also shows surprising comedic talent

As for the movie itself it doesn't take itself too seriously but it also doesn't fall into the idiotic and over the top vibe(yes despite Airships)rather if has the vibe of an 90's action movie. The great action combined with surprisingly good humor. If you like things like Die Hard, Lethal Weapon and co chances are good you will enjoy this well so I would recommend seeing it

And just as a warning this is the kind of movie that truly attracts hate since it's an easy target. An American movie perverting a french book? It's practically every internet troll to complain about things about this. However if you enjoy epic action packed thrill rides don't pay attention to this people and just go out there and enjoy the hell out of this movie ;)

Just Go with It (2011)

The movie was disappointing

[4/10 · 16 April 2011]

Frankly it's not a surprise that Brooklyn Decker was so heavily promoted in the marketing of this movie. She is one of the few bright moments. Not just because of the eye candy factor. There is no doubt that she is a stunningly hot woman but in this movie she is also a really nice and sweet character and frankly the scenes with her were one of the few things that made the movie more tolerable. Yes even when she had clothes on which is impressive

As for the rest the best word to describe it is cliché. Adam Sandler plays the same good guy who lost his way , does the same jokes to deal with bla blah reaches realization due to unforeseen consequences. Basically every Adam Sandler movie ever

The children are incredibly annoying . I think they were aiming for children with adorable quirks that are supposed to be annoying but are actually endearing but to me they were just annoying As for Jennifer Aniston...I honestly don't know what's wrong with this woman. I can understand Adam Sandler repeating his formula. Those are his movies and for better of worse(for worse) they are a proved cash cow and he is a businessman after all. But Aniston? The woman is rich as hell and has enough influence to get a variety of roles and she plays the same character for close to twenty years now. And yes she plays it in this movie as well. And yes it's as boring and unoriginal as you think

So in conclusion if you are a hardcore Sandler and Aniston fan you might like the movie. If you haven't watched too many Sandler Aniston movies you might still like it. But if you already sick of seeing the same movie over and over but with a different name and the same characters over and over I suggest you avoid it. Or at least don't pay money for it. It's not worth it

4.3.2.1. (2010)

Something rare and wonderful

[10/10 · 1 October 2010]

4.3.2.1 is one of the best movie of it's genres. Far superior the likes of

The Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants and other such movies.

It's action is concentrated on 4 girl. They are as different as day and night both as personalities and as lives however they truly good friends. The movie is separated in 4 segments. Each dealing with the life and struggle on a of a different girl as well the diamond heist that they all completely unwittingly and unknowingly got themselves involved into.

And here comes the magic of the movie. There is less then half an hour dedicated to each girl and yet there is a perfect character development and your really grow to love each of these girl in this tiny amount of time. Each story is as different as the girls themselves. Some are heartbreaking and truly touching, others are quite fun but all truly enjoyable.

Another great thing was the great but small roles of Kevin Smith and Mandy Patinkin(Rube from Dead Like Me) who were awesome

Overall I highly recommend this movie to everybody :)

The Chosen One (2010 Video)

A surprisingly great movie

[9/10 · 16 September 2010]

When you think of Rob Schneider usually two things come to mind.

1. Small cameo in an Adam Sandler movie 2. Mediocre comedy good for a few laughs but overall a disaster However this movie is surprisingly compelling. It's not a comedy but simply a really nice story. Rob Schneider is a care salesman who is living a completely empty life. His wife has left him, he drinks all the time, he has no real friends and he is pretty much utterly frustrated with his life However things started changing when one day 3 holy man from a south American tribe and their interpreter Marissa played by the wonderful Caroline Gomez come to his life. They tell him that he is The Chose One who is meant to save their tribe.

He reacts like any one of us would react and dismisses them. However he is a truly nice guy and tries his best to help them feel comfortable and return back to their home. This slowly starts changing him and this is done in a really great way.

And of course there is Steve Buschemi who is great as always I didn't expect to like this movie or at most I expected a few cheap laughs. But I was wrong. It was a really good movie and I recommend it to everybody :)

Superman/Batman: Apocalypse (2010 Video)

A truly amazing movie (especially for casual fans)

[10/10 · 14 September 2010]

I am not a comic book fan. I have enjoyed watching series like the Justice League and of course the other animated movies but I have never bothered with comics. This perhaps one of the reason why for me this movie is the best animated one till now

The previous movies(except maybe for the Wonder Women one which I also found quite interesting albeit not as alluring as this one) shot your right into the middle of the action and frankly a lot of the movies focused on the near worship of Superman and Batman. Don't get me wrong the characters are good but maybe because I am not a comic book fan they get boring fast. I was really starved for some new material. Seeing another hero rise up

And this movie delvers it. We follow the journey of Kara aka Supergirl (voiced excellently by the amazing Summer Glau )from her landing to Earth to the point where finds herself and her place in life. The story is great and the action well placed. And while the story centers around Supergirl we also get to see Superman,Batman and Wonder Woman shine on their own. They compliment the story excellently.

Not to forget that while the story itself is truly great the action doesn't leave you wanting either. They are some great fight scenes each perfectly showing the abilities and strength of the characters.

Overall I would highly recommend this movie to everybody and I really hope we get to see another movie centered around Supergirl. She is a character with a lot of potential

Natasha (2007)

This was surprisingly good

[5/10 · 4 September 2007]

After seeing the cover and reading the really horrible plot outline on IMDb i thought that this was going to be one of those horrible movies where pretty much everything is about sex with some weak plot used to make it slightly different then soft core porn.But this was actually good.

Naturally they were some weak spots in the movie but overall it was a good idea,the acting was decent most of the time,you grow to like the characters and both Anna/Natasha and Christine were very beautiful and sweet girls and you grow to like them .

And the more sexy scenes were done tastefully Overall for such a low budget movies they did an excellent job.I recommend it to everybody