xaggurat Reviews

Rebel Moon - Part One: A Child of Fire (2023)

Something Coming Out of a Space Vagina

[2/10 · 16 January 2024]

Very early in the film, there's a scene in which a huge vagina shape appears in space, and a space cruiser travels through it. I don't even have a dirty mind, that's just how it looked like. Later in the film, there are scenes which are supposed to be somewhat comical, but this was the one time I laughed while watching.

I tried to watch this, thinking maybe it's a cult film, so bad that it's good, but halfway through I realized this is following the idea from Akira Kurosawa's Seven Samurai, one of my top ten films and felt like it's impossible to continue. Kurosawa's film is a great classic, perfect as a movie, while this one is just terrible.

Action is bad, it goes slo-mo in unusual places, I guess it's Zack Snyder's attempt to distinguish from other directors. I'm getting tired to see tiny women throwing big guys around, it's just such an off putting theme these days. And that's the least sucky thing in this movie.

The dialogue is so wooden you could build a summer cottage using the script. Sofie Boutella, a charismatic actor who I liked a lot in SAS Rogue Heroes, tries her best but it doesn't help.

Only thing I liked in this film was that in some places sets reminded of colorful and moody old westerns with painted backgrounds. This minor detail won't save the film.

Ricky Gervais: Armageddon (2023 TV Special)

Doesn't feel fresh

[6/10 · 28 December 2023]

I believe most comedians make specials when a tour is ending, and according to what RG says it's also the case with Armageddon. So it's a special talent for a comedian to keep it fresh. Especially when they are reacting to their own jokes. Some of them, like Louis CK, are masterful in this respect.

So, when RG bursts into giggling in a special, he has probably done it dozens of times, but most of the time you feel like "Oh he just thought of something funny, said it out loud and is now laughing like me". Don't know exactly why this time I just didn't buy it. Especially when RG underlines it saying something like "I just tought a new joke..."... No, didn't really believe it.

Also, repetition is killer. RG says the word "woke" about as much as your average edgy teenager who is writing a TLDR rant in Youtube comment section. I don't disagree with the message, just found myself detaching from the comical and humorous aspects of it.

Comedians have been complaining about audience getting butthurt too easily for over ten years now, not just the woke ones, but pretty much everyone. The subject it's not fresh, you should take a new angle or something. And even so, currently comedians probably are free'er to say whatever than ever before. RG was born 1961, that year Lenny Bruce was arrested all the time just for saying f. Can't write the full word here... it's not because of woke people.

But yeah, it doesn't totally suck, so if you generally like Ricky Gervais specials, it still delivers some laughs.

Parks and Recreation: 2017 (2015) Season 7, Episode 1

Most Random Cameo Ever!

[8/10 · 2 September 2023]

This isn't my favorite episode of Parks and Recreation, but it's not bad. There has been many changes to earlier seasons, so I can imagine conformist fans hate it, but let's be honest - when a sitcom story evolves to a point where main characters are getting pregrant, it has already been pretty boring and repeatitive for a while. Jumping three years is actually a clever way of avoiding forced baby humor many series, such as Friends or How I Met Your Mother, had.

But what makes this episode special is the fact that it has the most random cameo role ever. Werner Herzog, the director of Aquirre and Fitzcarraldo sells an old house to Andy and April. Most watchers won't notice this, but for the truest film buffs this is something else.

In the Fog (2012)

Excellent

[10/10 · 13 August 2023]

I watched In the Fog this June in Midnight Sun Film Festival in Sodankylä, Finland, with other four films by Sergei Losnitza which were presented there. While I really liked all the films I saw, this is the one which touched me the most.

The director Losnitza has stripped the story from everything that's not essential to show the tension and hopelessness of the situation the main character is in. Vladimir Svirskiy's acting is excellent and perfectly delivers Sushenya's a sort of fatalistic understanding of the gravity of his situation, as he has been made an unwilling pawn in a wartime plot of the occupiers. He has no friends, no place in the world, no direction except to follow his executioners, who then will become his closest confidants.

The Pope's Exorcist (2023)

A collection of exorcism cliches

[4/10 · 22 May 2023]

In the beginning, the movie makes a sort of a joke about false demonic possessions copying Linda Blair's character's symptoms and words in The Exorcist (1973)

But every demonic possession film cliche, which were in the first movie about exorcism, can be found in this movie.

Why the possessed always lie in beds?

What's with the growling?

Why they always find their answers from old medieval/gothic books no one has ever heard of?

A lot of what feels like Catholic propaganda too. So, the Inquisition was the work of the Devil? That's one way to remove the burden of responsibility.

Russell Crowe does a fine performance, but it won't save the film.

Shotgun Wedding (2022)

Much, much, much funnier than Ghosted

[7/10 · 24 April 2023]

I watched Ghosted recently, expecting to see a sorta stupid but entertaining comedy film, but was disappointed as it felt like everything in that film had been done fifty times already. It had production value but the whole thing was just so tediously predictable, there were only one or two jokes I actually found funny.

So I was sceptical with Shotgun Wedding, but it turned out to be much more of what I expected from Ghosted. Sort of a slapstick comedy, even a bit wild at times. Many jokes were actually funny, so probably it was written and directed by people who actually have a sense of humor. Probably one of the better comedies when thinking about these low to mid-budget streaming service productions.

Also have to say that J-Lo has talent for comedy, with pretty good timing and capability to change her mood credibly but quickly, like snapping her fingers. Ana de Armas has probably somewhat better range as an actor, but as a comedienne J-Lo runs circles around her.

All Quiet on the Western Front (1979 TV Movie)

An okay war film ruined by bad sound effects

[4/10 · 19 April 2023]

Now that the new German made version of All Quiet on the Western Front was recently published, I recalled that this film existed. In some ways I like this one better than the newest version, as it is I think more faithful to the original novel by Erich Maria Remarque. Ian Holm does an excellent job as corporal Himmelstoss, Ernest Borgnine is maybe bit too old to play as Katczinsky but hey, who doesn't like Ernest Borgnine? Also John-Boy Walton does decent work as Paul Baumer.

But here's my grief. I'm not a pro, but I have worked as a sound editor and a sound engineer in some productions. Here the sound department didn't do it's job properly. If you look (or better listen) at the battle scenes for example, there is only one single effect for rifle fire. Always the same effect, doesn't matter if the source is one meter away or 50 meters away. The same sound and usually same volume. If there are multiple rifles fired - and there often are - the sounds would merge with an occasional pop here and a pow there. But here the same effect were cut, and it sounds like pe-pe-pe-pe-pew. And the sound was probably a generic rifle shot effect from a BBC sound effects album or something similar.

Now, a big part of the audience won't notice this, and some may not care, but then there's another part of the audience who kind of realize how sounds work in general, and will notice something is off and feel detached of the action and the story. So, no matter how many extras are there in the scene, how real the trenches and the barbwires on the battlefield look, bad sound engineering and editing will put many people off.

This film was made in 1979, and back then they didn't have the digital equipment we have now, but it's no excuse. War movies such as Cross of Iron and A Bridge Too Far were made in 1977, and with pretty good sound effects.

Blonde (2022)

An artistic and fictional exploitation fantasy or a fantasy of exploitation

[7/10 · 28 September 2022]

There are hundreds of Marilyn Monroe biographies. One says this and the other one says that. Some of them overanalyze and some of them oversimplify. Some believe the yellow press headlines and some believe whoever claims to have known "the REAL Marilyn Monroe". But the truth stays relative. This movie is basically a fantasy movie and as such it doesn't even try to tell the real events of the life of Norma Jeane/Marilyn Monroe. You have to keep in mind, that very little of this film is based on facts, it's based on how legend of Marilyn Monroe is viewed by the audience today. She's a victim, almost childlike, or she's a Hollywood whore, or she's a sexy but crazy temptress etc. In this film she's definitely a victim above all, to the point of being two-dimensional as a character. That is possibly what we deserve, as these are not clips from her life, these are clips of how the audience imagines her life had been.

So why it is an exploitation film? Exploitation films exploit our basic instincts and prevalent feelings of the audience the film is directed to. The sexploitation films exploit our sexual instincts and blaxploitation films exploit the feeling of injustice the black people experience etc. This movie exploits the feeling of victimhood among the female audience, and also in some ways part of the male audience, who for some reason chooses to see females as victims. As such this film doesn't hesitate when it's showing rumors, gossips, myths and conspiracy theories as truth. Much like yellow press. I believe it's intentional and clever to point out that the legend of Marilyn Monroe has grown to more than the reality ever was. There's no truth anymore.

I don't have a problem how the film handles the story and generally I liked the imagery. Some of the famous clips which can be seen in most Marilyn Monroe documentaries are extremely well recreated in this movie.

It's the structure contra time I have the problem with. The director Andrew Dominik has described the film as being an "avalanche of images and events." For me it was more like a steady stream which puts you into one mood and leaves you there and doesn't really manage keep your interest on the story and the character, as it gets monotonic after about an hour or so. Ana de Armas' portrayal never lets us forget that she is battling between the sanity and insanity. The audience probably expects her to collapse at any given moment. I believe she does a great job for the film, but as the character wasn't constructed with many levels her work could have been better if the character had been deeper.

Of course one has to keep in mind, that post-psychologic profiling of Norma Jeane/Marilyn has labeled her as a person with borderline personality disorder aka unstable personality, and possibly she was one. The film makes an interesting effort in trying to make this understandable for the audience.

I was sort of expecting a normal biopic, and I am a bit disappointed as in many ways the legend of Marilyn Monroe is much less than Norma Jeane ever was as a person and an individual. During the war she was one of Rosie the Riveters, she carefully created her publicity person, she was quick-witted and could made press rooms roar with laughter.

Definitely an interesting film to watch. As such it was too long. Different handling would have needed a different structure, or more levels in the story, more dimensions in the main character.

Speak No Evil (2022)

Nice Guys Die First?

[8/10 · 23 September 2022]

Hobbes argued that "War of all against all" (Bellum omnium contra omnes) is the state of nature. The civilization was created to give people a chance to have longer periods of peace than living free in nature would allow.

Björn is maybe not the most fun as a husband, but he is definitely a great and caring father to his daughter. Only thing he lacks as a father is the pure inbuilt will to defend his family. And to be honest chances are he never really has to. But what if?

It's said "A brave man dies once, a coward a thousand times". You can actually see Björn dying several times in this movie.

This movie does an excellent job presenting the question: Has the civilizing process gone too far?

No it hasn't. Yes women are getting a grip how to stand on their own feet probably for the first time in history, but if you cry and whimper about being a victim of your very nice but feminine society - that's really Björn still acting in you. And do not run to watch Andrew Tate -videos, as Andrew is like Patrick. And do Not give a f about politics as politics won't make you a man. Think with your own head. Feel with your own guts. All the time. That's the key. Be your own strong man.

In short: Very good acting and photography, I liked the slow tempo, writing is a bit underlining at times, but then this film clearly wants to make a point.

Get Away If You Can (2022)

Watch if you're thinking about your failed relationship

[8/10 · 24 August 2022]

What the F did you just watch? Well, it's a decent indie drama about an impossible relationship.

The couple goes to a long sailing trip, but the woman wants them to have a break from sailing and beach an island, appropriately named "the Island of Despair". The man, locked on his dream holiday and empowered by his father's advice, refuses and insists on continuing. This is an age old root of problems. Typically men are goal oriented ("I'll can feel free after I have accomplished this one thing first") while often women want to feel alive and be present all the time.

Anyway, the woman strongly resists the man's attempt to lead, to be the captain, and secretly takes a dinghy and goes on the island alone. This alarms the man, and shakes the pedestal he is standing on, and after a while, as an ultimate way to please the woman he sends the boat drifting locking both of them on the island.

There are many flashbacks, and some dream like sequences, which kind of make sense if you think about their desperate situation. Besides, the man drinks, and the woman smokes weed. This leaves much open, to freely interpret. I got an idea that the man is a slave to his woman (in a needy way), and the woman is a slave to her weed. The boat becomes important to her again only after she runs out of weed, and is terrified to learn that the boat is now gone.

The final image of simple and natural caveman life can be thought as something as happens to them with time, or maybe it's a metaphora of the life they are unknowingly searching, or perhaps it's some kind of a fantasy.

"Get away if you can", that's probably a sound advice. Ed Harris comes out as a woman hater, but, he could be right about real prospects of his son's relationship. It's unlikely they would ever be happy - or even content - with each other.

I liked the parts which were shot on the boat. The makers clearly understand how sailing is like. Because of this I kind of missed sailing but not really. For me this film was very clever and pleasant to watch.

Tales of the Walking Dead (2022)

Very enjoyable

[8/10 · 22 August 2022]

I do love zombies, but after watching a few seasons of TWD it started to be a bit too soapy for me. However, I find Tales of the Walking Dead highly entertaining. Episode #2 was actually almost too much fun, as I also love time loops. And Parker Posey is a great.

Day Shift (2022)

I'm your conscience

[2/10 · 22 August 2022]

Man it sure was a crappy film. I'm your conscience. He just did another film that didn't go over. I'm your conscience. I'm not Jamie Foxx. I'm your conscience. I don't wish I was in a movie with Jamie. I'm your conscience. But can't say anything nice to... wrap it up.

Fourth of July (2022)

Dealing with your own family stuff

[9/10 · 8 August 2022]

Not many film makers deal with the problems of being a modern man as interestingly as Louis CK does, and I very much hope he will continue to do so. Louis CK plays a supporting role as a therapist in this movie, it's a fitting role - as a writer/director his approach is quite therapeutic. Acceptance follows confrontation, and love follows acceptance.

Only Murders in the Building (2021– )

Love it

[8/10 · 2 August 2022]

I just started to watch it, and it's a very charming series. I love the humour and style. Story is great, and it really just feels like home to watch Steve Martin and Martin Short doing comedy together.

Force Majeure (2014)

Much better than the remake

[8/10 · 15 February 2022]

Tourist sort of reminds me of my latest relationship. Ex blamed me for avoiding her, but ended up being the avoidant one. Sort of slow paced movie, but I like it that way.

Tourist is so much better than the remake. The remake is more one-sided, and it has these terribly typical and underlined European stereotypes.

Those Who Walk Away (2022)

Don't walk away

[8/10 · 13 February 2022]

You don't need a huge budget if you have vision. Already the title sequence animation and the opening shot & camera movement felt so promising and fresh, that I just knew I was going to watch the whole film and probably like it. Good acting, great script, pretty interesting camera work and photography.

The joke in the end wasn't necessary though, it's like a magician telling his secrets just after he did the trick. Better go all the way.

Pam & Tommy (2022)

Takes me back

[7/10 · 13 February 2022]

I wasn't a fan of Pamela or Tommy, didn't care about the sex tape, but I still started to watch the show because of nostalgia. The 90s was a fun decade, we were present and doing things ourselves, without checking our phones desperately looking for some insignificant content to fill our void inside. Just loved to hear the modem dial up sounds. That's when it all started to change.

Anyways a fun show, have had many laughs, great cast, Lily James is just awesome as Pamela, Sebastian Stan is excellent, also Seth Rogen does his best work so far.

Nightmare Alley (2021)

Charlatan's life

[8/10 · 9 February 2022]

Guillermo del Toro's Nightmare Alley is one of the few movies made during the past two or three years, which I actually liked a lot.

The movie sort of creates itself as a link between the old film making and the modern world. It's too aesthetical to be real, which enhances the feeling that the main character's vision alone is meaningful, and there are special places for separate elements in his life. Carneval represents rebirth and reality, also education, the stage ambition and self-deception, the marriage escapism. The psychologist's office should be the place for real reflection and true self to emerge, but it ends up being a place of bargain. The facades collapse in Grindle's estates, and before the film ends, our charlatan comes to a realization about who he really is.

Many excellent performances, including Cate Blanchett, David Strathairn and Willem Dafoe, and it's always a great pleasure to see Richard Jenkins, who's just the best actor ever.

Peninsula (2020)

A decent zombie film

[6/10 · 29 January 2022]

This reminds me of the 80s film Escape to New York, and there are also some Mad Max -like moments. The car chase was surprisingly good.

Some scenes could have been shorter, with less pathos and underlining things that are happening on screen. Let the picture tell the story.

Train to Busan was better, but hey, it's still a decent and entertaining zombie flick, so if you like zombie films you can definitely do worse.

Kate & Leopold (2001)

A bit of a drag

[4/10 · 19 December 2021]

It's been over ten years since I have watched a film with Meg Ryan, so it's hard to remember if she is a good actress or not, I don't remember any great performances from her either, but she was very good in When Harry Met Sally. In this one, Kate & Leopold, her character Kate is so annoying and jumpy, that it makes the film quite hard to watch.

Hugh Jackman gives a solid performance and the movie largely lies on his 19th century charisma. The best performance is from Liev Schreiber, who makes his character very believable and three dimensional.

With the exception of first 5-10 minutes, the photography makes the film look like 1990s TV film, directing is bad. Shorter could have been better.

Free Guy (2021)

Another great performance by Ryan Reynolds in this meaningful classic...

[2/10 · 8 December 2021]

... is something I'd like to write in a review. But can't. Seems like Reynolds' bankable face appears only in very mediocre films, which try to be entertaining enough to sell tickes. Free Guy is no exception to this rule. I'm a gamer, sure, but Free Guy doesn't speak to me at all. Please mr. Reynolds, make something good for once.

Army of Thieves (2021)

Some random thoughts about this charming heist movie

[8/10 · 21 November 2021]

It's a fun movie and I hope to see a sequel one day.

I kind of like to see police chasing a nerdy German safecracker on the streets of Prague much more, than watch a typical James Bond car chase. Bond usually eliminates his chasers one by one using all kinds of gadgets in his special car, and in the end this leaves no feeling of risk or danger you could relate to. With a more openly neurotic and vulnerable you can't be so sure.

The romantic subplot seems like a fantasy, as the main character of course has to fall in love to the most beautiful girl, and after that no one else can be enough. Even though the girl is in a relationship with a real "chad" character with a fake persona, our nerdy hero chooses to conquer her heart by being himself, sometimes awkward and often vulnerable but always open. There's a key moment which makes this theme more believable, as our hero asks the troubled girl "How are you?" That is the often forgotten key to the human heart.

Technically the film is very good. Actors do really well, and the main character seems carefully crafted both by the writer and the actor/director. Someone wrote here, that Army of Thieves is flawed yet very entertaining - I tend to think its the flaws which make films good, as perfection is almost always boring to watch.

Mank (2020)

A salute

[8/10 · 26 March 2021]

As a writer, I appreciate this movie as a gesture to honor the hard work (and often hard life) of screenwriters. As a son left with a feeling of gratitude to his father, I appreciate the director David Fincher completed the project he started years ago with his father. And as a friend of Cinema, I love how the film sometimes captures the essence and style of The Citizen Kane.

Coming 2 America (2021)

Not the best part of Eddie Murphy's comeback

[2/10 · 7 March 2021]

When making a sequel, usually it's a good rule that you don't make an exact copy of the original (like they did with for example Hangover films), but as the original pic is a well loved and over 30 years old film, they could have used its fairytaley appeal and made this one a kind of a remake with similar story structure, reused similar jokes etc.

Instead Coming 2 America has an original story, but sadly it is poorly written and unfunny. Even if the idea and the actors have a lots of potential, you don't really connect to any of the characters enough to see it working as a romcom, and that's likely because of the visionless screenplay & equally visionless direction. You do have many 2020s cliches, such as few tiny teen girls can beat up a squad of big veteran soldier, and even a pretty weird scene in which a happily smiling 12 year old girl crushes the testicles of an adult man with a stick.

I loved many of Eddie Murphys films back in the 80s. And then Dolemite was very good, so I'm definitely for his comeback. I hope following sequels will be much better.

TLDR: I liked the first one back in the 80s, so before seeing Coming 2 America I hoped it would have at least some of the spirit. But you only get few seconds of it in the new barbershop scenes, otherwise it's poorly written and unfunny.

Ted Lasso (2020–2023)

I don't get it

[2/10 · 8 February 2021]

Ted Lasso is supposed to be a comedic tv-serie, but after watching three episodes without even a single smile, it must be one of the worst comedic shows I've ever watched. I've been reading other user reviews, trying to get why people think it's funny or why it's rated so highly, but no, sadly I can't see it.