TheAscender Reviews

The Chumscrubber (2005)

A fresh, fun, and moving examination of crazy people (us) in suburbia.

[10/10 · 27 January 2005]

I was able to see a screening of this film at Sundance tonight (1/26/05) and I just wanted to let anyone who was curious about this movie that it is definitely worth seeing. Some lucky distributor is going to make bank off of this great film by a skilled director and soulful screenwriter.

Although I was pleasantly surprised as famous face after famous face came on the screen, Jamie Bell (main character Dean) is without equal. In the Q&A session after the screening, the Director talked a little about wanting to make a movie that examined the hypocrisy and muted subjects of our culture. I think he hit the nail right on the head. He also talked about how they removed all pop culture references in the movie so that they could create their own archetype of pop culture-- the Chumscrubber. The characteristics of this comic book/video game hero are an allegory that can help you decode the messages of the movie. (On a comic note, he also said that once you see this movie you will see dolphins EVERYWHERE. When you see it, you'll know what I mean.) Screenwriter Zak Stanford said that a Chubscrubber is the worst job in the fishing village he grew up in. It's the person that has to mop the floor clean after everyone else has gutted and processed the fish. This movie, in part, discussed "what it would be like to have someone do that for you."

There are parts of this movie that are definitely funny. However, I didn't find myself laughing at all them because I couldn't shake the feeling that I would have been laughing at myself. I guess I'm saying that for those of us who find themselves seeking escape in a world that finds us trivial, there is a lot of truth in this movie. But don't worry... it also shows us the power a single human connection can have.

SEE/BUY/DISCUSS/ANTICIPATE/DEVOUR THIS MOVIE!!

Ascender

P.S.- Don't be put off by trite descriptions of this film as a "tale of a young boy fending off the evils of suburbia." It really doesn't do it justice. It's fresh, fun, and moving.

Earthsea (2004–2005)

Worst Adaptation EVER. Shame on you, Sci Fi Channel.

[1/10 · 13 December 2004]

The Sci Fi channel should have put some of their marketing money into production, because this was not only a BAD adaptation of an incredible book, it was the worst I've ever seen. If you have read the books, you'll know exactly what I mean. If you haven't, go to the library or bookstore (they're worth owning) and spend the time in the book instead of wasting it on this worthless show.

A few key points of my utter disenchantment (pun intended): 1) Ged was the same age throughout the entire movie when in the books we get to follow him from age 10 to 80. 2) There is absolutely no sex in the book, but you get a nice bedroom scene in the first 5 minutes of the movie. COME ON. The books offer MORE than enough material to engage the reader. You don't need to whore the characters, although Sci Fi managed to make one up for just that purpose. 3) Bad acting. It took me back to the days of MTV's "Undressed". 4) Lame ass CGI. After seeing Sci Fi do OK with Dune, I was hoping for much better graphics in this movie. 5) Most importantly, Le Guin's books won awards for what they are. IMHO, Sci Fi showed an inordinate disrespect for that by bastardizing the plot into something completely different. BOOOOOOOOOO!

To sum up, don't see it. Don't even give it a second glance. Anyone associated with this atrocity needs to have their head handed to them on a magician's staff. If you want to see an Earthsea worth seaing (a pun on the level of the Sci Fi production), get the books. Or borrow mine; but you'll have to wait a few days as I read them again to regain the enchantment.