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Reviews
Frankenfish (2004)
Ishtar...except with a man eating monster fish other than a blind camel
like i have said before in other postings, my best friend and i pride ourselves in watching terrible terrible movies. we did not fail. when we were in blockbuster and we saw frankenfish, we HAD to rent it. this is one of the worst movies that i have ever seen in my entire life. for starters, there were countless scenes that had absolutely NO point to further the movie along. the fish looked like crap! it was one of the stupidest special effects i've ever seen. and when the fish was on land (because they can breath above water also) it looked like a midget in a foam rubber suit...except minus the bonus of actually having a midget to put in the foam rubber suit. and there are some Seriously stupid scenes. for example, at one point in the movie, they have just watched the frankenfish come out of the water, bit a man's head off, breech and kill that mans wife, they drag his headless body into the water. but a different character goes into the bathroom on the house boat to wash the blood off of her clothes. the blood mixes with the water and goes out of the drainage pipe. the frankenfish smells the blood and comes back for another attack. now think, if there are already TWO dead and bloody bodies in the water...why or how would that even attract them. there is already way to much blood in the water anyway. that would NOT bring back the frankenfish. and another logic argument. the frankenfish is supposed to be a genetically altered fish that had been bred with a snake. HOW IS IT POSSIBLE TO BREED A FISH TO A SNAKE?!?!?!?! you can't do it out of water because the fish would die and you can't do it below water or else the fish would drown. it's just not possible. even if you are a middle aged evil rich white male super villain with a hott girlfriend. this movie was terrible, god awful, and completely not worth the money my friend spent to rent it....but it was pretty funny.
Ninja vs. Ninja (1987)
hilarious
My best friend and i pride ourselves in watching the worst movies we can possible find. last night we were privy enough to come across ninja vs. ninja. we read the back of the case to see the plot summary and it said something about undercover ninja cops busting heroine addiction rings. we tried very very hard to put that plot together while watching the movie and we couldn't. it doesn't exist. the fight scenes are terribly choreographed and ninja will mysteriously grow arms and burrow underground at random points for no reason. the smoke effects look like there is some dude standing above them, pouring smoke on them. but the most memorable scene is what has been aptly named, "the beach party." for no damn reason, it goes to a scene where there are a lot of women playing cards, then one mysteriously dies, then ninjas appear and kill everyone else. all in all, i almost wet myself with laughter. if anyone wants to have a good laugh and lose some IQ at the same time, watch this movie.