johnorval Reviews

It Snows in Benidorm (2020)

Who cares.

[3/10 · 5 June 2024]

So what and who cares sums up my opinion of this piece of tedium.

If one is going to expend so much time, effort and money making a movie, at least make it accessible to the educated movie watcher. This movie is the equivalent of counting peas from one bowl to another whilst awaiting the inevitable. One starts watching with anticipation only to have that transform into bored indifference. What's going to happen? Well - nothing really. Around half time, the watcher sinks into a stupor, barely having the energy to fast forward in the hopes that SOMETHING of significance will happen. Timothy Spall has the emotional range of a Toby Jug. And how anyone, anyone, could fancy him is stretching incredulity into the Marvel Universe reality. Such a permanantly lugubrious expression is no turn on for anyone - even the partially sighted.

Benidorm features as a hell on earth for anyone over the age of sixteen, including its plethora of featureless high-rises.

As for going on about Sylvia Plath in a bikini being there! Wow! So what? Who cares? Big deal? Who is she again? A month long honeymoon with Ted Hughes. And the relevance is?

I think watching Timothy spending the same amount of time at the bank would have been more exciting.

An indulgent film suitable for the maker and immediate family.

Cut your toe nails instead.

Zombie Town (2023)

Passable, in both meanings.

[5/10 · 5 January 2024]

The irony is that the watching of this movie requires as much brainpower as the zombies in the movie. Is it meant to be ironic?

The movie needed some serious editing (too late for better direction and writing). It is slow, zombie slow. The kids are dumb as; far too much time is wasted in unnecessary dialogue; the relationship between them is unlikely given the way the girl speaks to the boy. The acting is passable, although Ackroyd and Chase are very average, having taken the roles for pocket money or being friends of Stine.

The story, events and ending are as predictable as Christmas, but with less excitement.

A good story ruined by slowly evolving cliches.

I liked the librarian.

The Curse of Audrey Earnshaw (2020)

What?

[4/10 · 3 July 2023]

Beautifully photographed, well acted and atmospheric. BUT A slow start for which I fast forwarded: i think the editor was a bit too enamoured of the cinematography. As the story developed, i began to watch without fast forwarding. Most of the time I spent wondering which of the women was which; the rest of the time was spent wondering why is that happening and what does it have to do with the daughter. Ultimately, it was unsatisfying as there appeared to be no sense to it, just a series of events that were unexplained - unless it was just senseless sadism and unrelated deformations. At the start i thought it might be events caused by chemical pollution, then it became clear something supernatural was going on - but why never became clear to me. As far as i am concerned, the story was a waste of good talent and time.

The Dustwalker (2019)

An Australian scifi horror zombie movie

[7/10 · 27 June 2023]

I'm generally sceptical about watching an Australian movie: often too slow i.e. "lyrical", or overacted or underdeveloped. Dustwalker was well filmed and acted (although one of the main characters was a bit too laid back). Started out well, developed well, then the "what the...!" moments started and confusion reigned. Well, somewhat. I don't know if it was the script or the editing, probably some of both. There were certainly jumps also which detracted from the action.

The "ending" was a good twist apart from the " but what happened to..?" A decent enough movie ( loved the special effect with the mouths) good female lead, good support from "the locals" and a reasonable "monster".

Tenet (2020)

Everything but the sound.

[8/10 · 8 August 2022]

Just watched for the second time, on tv. The balance between the voices and all the other sounds, especially the music, is appalling. This certainly does not help anyone to understand what is going on.

It is visually impressive and contains exciting action sequences. The relationshipsbetween the characters could be described as "British reserved".

It deserves a rewatch or two, helped by a reading of the clues that others have written about.

It does not suffer from black screen time as some modern movies do, but, like too many, the sound balance and clarity of vocals is sub par, hence the drop to eight stars.

Under the Skin (I) (2013)

Pretentious vacuum.

[1/10 · 4 September 2021]

Long drawn out scenes, beautiful photography, little dialogue, a tenuous idea, all the hallmarks of a first time director with a compliant editor. Even fast forwarding the movie was tedious, indulgent. Playing a blank face does not make one a great actor.

I love science fiction and the perspectives that it can give to our own lives. I love movies that have depth. I have watched "the great" directors movies from many cultures for over sixty years.

Give this a miss and do something rewarding and useful with your life.

Mother! (2017)

Should have been terminated at conception

[1/10 · 13 June 2021]

Several decades of watching movies from multiple countries and multiple directors. The first five minutes indicated an indulgent, tedious and unimaginative movie. I was not surprised to read that Aranofsky was in a relationship with Lawrence: the excessively long, overindulgent shots of Lawrence wandering unnecessarily around the house in flimsy attire indicated that. The obvious question that arose was, why didnt she call out to her husband. Then the turn to see her husband behind her... really!

Fast forward to watch the ending, or beginning. Glad I didnt waste too much time.

Blade Runner 2049 (2017)

A long wait for disappointment.

[3/10 · 10 August 2019]

Having waited a long time to see the movie, I almost turned it off. Then I looked at the ratings - with incredulity. Had I fallen through the looking glass. Reality check: others had the same opinion. It was long, it felt long, and it was so slow. I had no trouble following the plot, but the pacing was like Waiting for Godot - without the humour. At least half an hour could have been edited out. Perhaps editors feel that a lot of money has been spent on CGI/special effects so they need to be kept in. No. Spoiler (kind of): If the child is a human/replicant cross, the question of Deckard's being human is moot - unless Rachel decided to experiment. By no means is this equal to or better than the original. You would not miss out if you miss seeing it

Avengers: Endgame (2019)

Not super good.

[4/10 · 22 May 2019]

Even whilst watching it, I felt disappointed: slow, wordy, sloppy storyline. Even the final battle was excessive to the point of tedious: too much fast cutting and too many unnecessary characters. Despite enjoying and appreciating most of the Marvel films, I felt this was a letdown.

Peterloo (2018)

General concensus

[6/10 · 22 May 2019]

Agree that Mike Leigh seems to have ignored a few basic cinematic elements. A political polemic is an insufficient substitute for emotional involvement. Too much tell instead of show; too many characters with too much repetition; no protagonist for the audience to identify with. And the death of the young soldier, who could have been the protagonist, was predictable. Mr Leigh has been in filmmaking long enough to know the basics. A few reviewers should check their facts before making comments, especially regarding accents; if they had been brought up in the relevant areas (west of the Pennines, not bloody north) they would know that the accents of the time would have been almost incomprehensible to today's populations. Modification was necessary. For my own discernment, I enjoyed the visceral feel of the cotton factory, but it was soooo clean, as was most of the city housing. I saw the film because I heard or read about Peterloo as a young teenager. Along with other, similar actions, and a complicit media, it confirmed my belief that certain sections of society are attempting to create a world not dissimilar to that of the Georgian period. For that alone, the film is worthwhile.

Whiplash (2014)

The tempo is just right.

[10/10 · 17 February 2017]

I had no idea what the film was about and therefore had no preconceptions. I wondered about watching it for the first few minutes but then became intrigued by the possibilities. Although it is based in a jazz situation, that is subsumed by the drama between and of the characters. As a genre it may not be original but the writing, directing and performances make it a standout film with a climax as tense and dramatic as any.

Blue Collar (1978)

Memorable film

[9/10 · 31 December 2004]

Certain films remain at the back of one's mind for many years. The first time I saw the film, on television, I was impressed by the realism of the situation and honesty of acting. The film is enhanced by the driving power of the theme music. Years later, I again saw the film on television and was reminded of it and how good it is. The lead actors, Yaphet Koto, Harvey Keitel and Richard Prior, must have enjoyed much critical acclaim from fellow actors for their performances. I would recommend it to anyone who enjoys a good story without too obvious predictability and easy options, especially those who think that all American movies are romanticism floss.