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Reviews
Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (2014)
Teenage Mutant Ninja Transformers
So I really wanted to like this one as I'm a huge turtles fan and have been since I was a kid. Unfortunately I just couldn't.
No matter how hard I tried to enjoy this movie it just didn't do it for me. While the turtles designs themselves I think look good they do not fit well in this world and this is really basically Teenage Mutant Ninja Transformers which really isn't a good thing to me because the TMNT are not transformers. They are an entirely different animal and to treat them just like Optimus and the Autobots doesn't make sense. I am only going to give this movie a 4.5 out of 10. It to me is personally a fail.
I did still have fun and enjoy seeing all of the over the top silly action scenes but all around this is not a strong movie, even for the biggest turtles fans such as myself.
Divergent (2014)
Another failed adaptation... *Sigh*
Last year, book to movie adaptations were very hit and miss. The Mortal Instruments City of Bones was an example of an absolute terrible adaptation. Completely butchered, over adapted to the point were it's like a parody of the source material. I'm not a purist, but it was simply down right sad. Nothing like the book. Then I saw Catching Fire which was an example of a near perfect book to movie adaptation. Characters nailed it, not over adapted, and properly paced. This movie Divergent however was exactly like The Mortal Instruments movie. As someone who read the books, this adaptation was an absolute embarrassment.
One: This movie was over adapted! Too many important, meaningful scenes and components from the books were cut out, leaving us a Hollywood wrecked, cobbled together pretender of the book.
Two: The evil characters were not evil. Plus an added bonus, most of them were devoid of character development Peter wasn't evil, he barely got any screen time! And his entourage of sociopaths, who oppressed and tried to kill Tris in the book were done terribly. Molly had two lines during the entirety of the film, and one was complimenting Tris! Drew was the worst, he was non-existent in the film. No screen time for him. And Eric, totally a one dimensional character. Lack any emotion or character development or even a reason for him to even exist in the story!
Three: There was little to no conflict in this movie for the protagonist Tris. Without conflict, there is no narrative, no plot progression, and ultimately no entertainment value. Things were resolved so easy in the movie it was ridiculous. Tris is told she has failed initiation; which never happened in the books, and she just stays against orders of her superiors without complaint. What? Not plausible by any means.
They should just cancel the squeal because there's no talent, evident of this movie.
1/10
The Walking Dead: Alone (2014)
Another boring, drawn-out episode of The Walking Dead
I'm am really considering just giving up on the show at this point. The writers must be brain dead to be producing such sub standard content. This episode was mediocre at best.
Point one: The biggest thing that irked me about this episode is that instead of progressing the plot by bringing the survivors together like they should be, the writers are splitting the characters up even more then they already are. It just like what the heck?!?!? They seem to be purposefully dragging it out just in the name of suspense. Instead they are making the material staler, and staler, and staler. There are only three episodes left in this season, if this plot doesn't pick up soon, this season will not be salvageable.
Point two: Bob's flashback scene. What a waste of time. Completely devoid of any likable elements. Flashbacks as plot devices are a real double edged sword. If you use a flashback, it better be with a character that is important like a series regular or a likable character. To me Bob is too new, I don't really give a crap about his character. Unless Bob is going to die in the next couple episodes, this flashback will have served no purpose to his character or the themes of the narrative.
Point three: I think the Sanctuary and "Terminus" is bull crap. It's either a trap or overrun in my opinion. If this place was legitimate we would have seen someone from the Sanctuary already. Wouldn't they send members of their group to find other survivors to join their group? Sanctuary is a dead end period.
Point four: Maggie's decision to run off alone and split up the group is another irrational, illogical decision by a character. Maggie is slowly falling deeper and deeper in her insanity over finding Glenn. I hope she changes her thought process.
Point five: We still not introduced to the Hunters. (The next antagonistic group) Why is it taking so long for them to do this? We are running out of episodes. It has to be the next episode or I will be angry.
Overall another 40 minutes of filler material that could have been done in 20 minutes.
The Walking Dead: Still (2014)
What the heck writers?
This episode was not only the worst episode of the season, but the worst of the series. I am absolutely adamant that this is the worst we've seen for several reasons.
One: There was absolutely no plot progression in this episode whatsoever. Very boring, literally nothing occurs or was accomplished. This second half of season 4 has felt extremely drawn out. It is taking way too long for the characters to find each other again. The pacing is too slow. This episode is reminiscent of season 3 episode 13 "Arrow on the doorpost", where nothing is accomplished and it's a pointless episode.
Two: The motives of the characters in this episode were ridiculous. Beth and Daryl's motive in this episode was to get a drink and get drunk in the apocalypse. This is not only irrational, and senseless, and not plausible, but also completely stupid. It is years into an apocalypse and you're telling me that Beth and Daryl didn't know better than to get drunk in the apocalypse? Bull crap. I know that every episode can't be always action and there has to be slow down episodes, but the character development has to be quality at least. The description says "An enlightening mission springs from a survivor." If this is an "enlightening" mission then I don't want to know what a boring mission is.
Three: The conversations were laughable. The most awkward script ever. Beth calling Daryl "Mr Dixon" was so out of place and strange, it didn't feel right. Most of the conversations and characterization with Daryl and Beth feel extremely awkward and poorly thought out.
Four: BETH! Beth sucked in this episode. She never stopped whining and moaning and complaining this episode. Beth is the most annoying characters in history! No wonder Daryl won't talk to her, she is driving him insane!
Five: Character development. Did we gain a new perspective of new insight on Beth or Daryl in this episode? No. What exactly did we learn about them. Daryl was a bum with Merle before the apocalypse. That's pretty much it. Who gives a crap who you were before the apocalypse?!?! It's like Daryl said; "It hasn't mattered for a long time."
Over all this episode was absolute crap. 1/10
Dexter: Remember the Monsters? (2013)
What the f***!!!!
What started as one of the best series I've ever seen quickly dissolved into one of the most poorly written and directed ever. It really does show what happens when a great show-runner leaves. Clyde Phillips left after the last great season (Season 4), and after that it was pretty much all downhill from there. You could tell in the very first episode of season 5 that it wasn't . Now, we have the ultimate culmination of bad writing, poor character choices, and an ending that tries to be "edgy" but ultimately falls flat on it's face. I'll always remember the first four seasons of Dexter, but the last four? I won't waste my time again.
This season felt totally rushed and totally strayed away from what Dexter is all about. Dexter killing serial killers and dealing with Deb's transformation. Deb's death in this episode was completely absurd. Felt rushed, unceremonious, and it was like the writers thought to themselves "It's the series finale. Somebody has to die right?" Deb deserved a better death, like death in combat.
Hannah was such a stupid person these past couple episodes. What's weird about Dexter is that logic set up by the narrative is very selective. Hannah's face was on television, everyone is Miami has seen her face. Why didn't her dye her hair, or cut it, or wear sunglasses, or SOMETHING. And what's peculiar is that Elway, the Marshal Deputy, and that women at the hospital that recognize Hannah.
Dexter's decision to kill himself was dumb. This season we have been witnessing his transformation from a psychopath killer to a normal human because of Hannah. Why would he need to protect Hannah and Harrison from him when he is normal now? And that fact that he is a lumberjack and never meets up with Harrison or Hannah is stupid. Dexter gives one last stare into the camera but I couldn't see that because I was throwing stuff at my TV.
Final verdict: Absolute crap.
The Conjuring (2013)
Just an average horror film
I went to this movie with high expectations and was given a jump scare fest.
My problems with this movie started in the beginning. The first 30-45 minutes of this film were so boring and mind numbing it was inexplicable. The gaps between each and every jump scare were too long, and the majority of the film I wasn't feeling a creepy atmosphere. Until the last 30 minutes of the film when the mother was possessed.
The plot was a cliché in terms of horror films. We have all seen the way Paranormal Activity turned out, and like The Conjuring both films are predicated on purely jump scares and lacked a truly scary atmosphere.
And every scare is so predictable, we are given most of the scares that are in this movie in the trailers, plus they amp the music up prior to every scare, so you know when each scare is happening.
Like a lot of horror films the people were absolutely stupid. What kind of people buy a house without researching the history of previous owners? If they simply looked into this their situation with the demonic spirits would never have happened.
At the end of the day if you are willing to spend 11 dollars to jump a couple times and you fear ghosts, this is your movie.