jakslev Reviews

Prometheus (I) (2012)

Promising Prometheus

[3/10 · 18 June 2012]

I went to watch Prometheus without knowing that it was meant to be a sort of prequel to the Alien movies. Considering how these movies spun off to be utter crap; that knowledge might have made me watch this movie with lower expectations.

As a nerd, I like the whole dualistic sci-fi environment that Ridley Scott, and others, have created. The mix between clean white and sterile safe areas countered with dark, almost medieval (and definitely gooey) areas where evil resides, is very good and resonates well with most nerds like me. The opening scene of the movie was epic with a beautiful view and a simple short story line that (to the initiated) explained the origin of man. I almost dropped my pop corns there!

Unfortunately the movie doesn't continue in this epic intelligent manner. It leans heavily on the Raelian and the Intelligent by design theories but quickly turns into a new Alien movie for a new generation.

There are many open questions in this movie and things that are utterly silly.

1) Why did our creators decide to delete us? And why did they suddenly decide not to?

2) Why did they choose to kill us using a scary monster that they can't even handle themselves? Surely a nuke or just going down and banging our heads in would have been smarter?

3) Why do they leave a star-map on earth that leads – not to their home planet – but to one of their military facilities?

4) Why didn't other creators return to the military facility on the planet to sort the alien-monster issue?

5) Why are they themselves so immensely aggressive and uninterested in interacting with us?

6) Why haven't they evolved during the x-thousands years where we have developed intergalactic flight?

7) Why is the super-advanced medic-station "calibrated for men", when it's owned by the female boss/owner of the whole operation?

8) How realistic is it that anyone would be able to run around after having had a moving foreign object the size of a baby cut out of her belly? And clamped together with some metal clamps???

9) Why would the captain be smoking cigars and act like he was from 30 years ago? A bit of an anachronism?

10) Why would anyone choose such stupid scientists and such silly weapons?

Well – I can't be bothered to write any more about the movie. It was bad – not as bad as Knights, but still pretty bad.

Suburban Girl (2007)

Kind of bad

[3/10 · 26 April 2009]

This movie could have been good if it hadn't already been made so many times before. The concept of a young girl who feels lost and finds a connection with an older man is hardly new.

The actors play well - as one would expect from professionals - and if one is a fan of either Alec Baldwin or Sarah Michella Gellar; one might consider watching the movie just for that.

Where it all goes wrong is in the narrative. The movie tries delivering something that it just can't deliver. While the actors as such play their roles fine, the viewer is never really caught by them. The roles are flat and one is left with a feeling of "who cares". There are a few elements in the movie that obviously entertains, but they all seem stereotypical in a way that gets boring very quickly.

This is a movie that you can watch if you are having some friends over and needs some background noise, or if you are baking bread and do not want to bother with pausing the movie every time you have to go to the kitchen.