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L'arrivée d'un train à La Ciotat (1896)
A Train Arrives
A train arrives at a train station. That is the entire short film here. But back then it must have seemed like magic to see actual moving pictures on a screen so I guess they didn't use to need more than that ha ha.
Confessions of a Porn Addict (2008)
Boring As Hell
This was an incredibly boring and unfunny movie. It had no point, Spenny is just not funny, and the porn jokes are predictable and get old after like one minute.
Mattress Man Commercial (2003)
Don't Get It
I guess this is spoofing a real mattress commercial from years ago that I just haven't seen but I just don't get the point of this one. It's just a few seconds long. Hoffman is on the roof of a mattress store then jumps off onto a pile of mattresses but bounces off and hits the ground hard. That's all the happens. I've seen Punch Drunk Love and loved it, and am a big fan of Hoffman and Anderson, but I just don't get the point of this outtake or extra or whatever it is.
The Simpsons (1989)
Once Great, Now Bad
It's very hard for me to try to put a rating on this show. At one time it was the best comedy series on TV and possibly even the best one ever. Unfortunately it went into a decline after the first ten years or so, and then a steep decline, to the point where it is less than a shadow of what it once was. They really should have quit several years ago, but at this point they might as well just keep going and see how many episodes they can rack up before the plug is finally pulled.
The Kenny Hotz Radio Show (2013)
Fun and Interesting
This was a fun and interesting show. I'm generally not a fan of shows that are just video tapes of people doing a radio broadcast but this stands out from the others and has some visual elements to it.
The Neighborhood (2017)
Should be Called "The Lame-borhood"
Get it? LAME-borhood! AHAHAHAHAAH! I know I know, terrible joke, but it's still a billion times better than anything Frank D'Angelo has ever done in his entire life. This "movie" sucks.
Crazy Like a Fox (1984)
Great
This show was perfect for its time. It mixed some good action and mystery elements with a lot of great humor. Jack Warden plays an old detective type guy who is just really funny.
The Equalizer (1985)
Very Good
This was a real classic of its era when fear of Russians etc was part of everyday life. Edward Woodward plays a highly trained but morally right and classy British agent who has no equal. He now uses his unique talents to help people who are oppressed or down on their luck. Great stuff. Also check out "Crazy Like a Fox" if you like this.
Simon & Simon (1981)
Mostly Good
This show is mostly good. The writing was pretty good compared to other detective shows of the era and it definitely had more and better action than say Hart to Hart obviously.
Great cars, good acting. Major Dad is one of the stars. Also just about the best theme song of any show ever!
Zombie Beach (2010)
A Turd in the Punch Bowl
There is a turd in the punch bowl people... pretty suspicious about this one. So many very similar reviews all giving 9's and 10's and raving in very similar ways about the festival they saw this "movie" at, how to buy it on Amazon, and how good and genius it is. Also tend to notice how after all these years almost l of these reviewers have only reviewed this movie and maybe the director's other movie? Hmmmmm I wonder why that is?
Anyway this movie is garbage. The picture quality is terrible, the editing is amateurish (like below high school video club level ability), the writing is about the worst I've seen (I swear this guy must be an amateur and also not have English as a first language because what people say is so boring and expository... there's nobody on earth who actually talks like this... and yet this film still isn't at all funny or entertaining in its mistakes, it's just BAD bad.)
Really awful acting and the producer/writer/star/director/guy who I bet wrote all these raving reviews is about the worst thing in the film.
There's also only like four zombies in the whole stupid movie! Rip off! And the plot is ridiculous but again not funny ridiculous just way too easy and boring and never even funny.
Very disappointed in this turd.
Star Wars: Episode VI - Return of the Jedi (1983)
Mostly Good
This movie is mostly good. It is the least good of the first trilogy of Star Wars films (which I would rank as: #1) The Empire Strikes Back (later called episode 5), #2) Star Wars (renamed episode 4) then this one, #3) Return of the Jedi. But it is still way better than any of the prequel films, the only one of which I liked at all being the third film (episode #3, The Revenge of the Sith).
It gives great closure to all of the story lines they started in the first two films, with Luke and his father as well as the rebellion vs. the emperor and his empire, and Han Solo and Princess Leia. It's a fun movie with all of the action and comedy you would expect from the first two films and some new and very cute characters. Still it's not as good as the first two films but that has more to do with the fact that the first two films were so fantastic. There's just a couple stupid or silly parts and little plot holes that take away from this movie's score but nothing as bad as the prequels, which are awful.
Terminator 2: Judgment Day (1991)
Mostly Good
I really prefer the first Terminator movie because it is darker and just has a more real feel and edgier tone. It's bleaker and just more pure sci fi to me.
Kind of the same way I feel about Alien (best sci fi movie ever in my opinion except maybe for 2001: A Space Odyssey) and Aliens/Alien 2, just like that movie Terminator got a lot bigger and went for way more action with a much bigger budget. Still a good movie don't get me wrong but it lost a lot of the magic.
For one thing, Arnold S. as the evil killing machine assassin from the future was wicked. That scene where he takes out the entire police station? Wicked! But because it's Hollywood the producers or he or his agents said that he has to be the GOOD guy so he comes back as a machine to be the kid's bodyguard. Would have been better in my mind to stick with him as the killer.
Gravity (2013)
Good and Bad
First I think Gravity was a pretty good movie but I don't think it will be good if you don't see it in its release on the big screens of the movie theater.
It's a simple but very dramatic story but on the other hand I was bored for a lot of it. Way too much Sandra Bullock floating around. I have never disliked Sandra Bullock nor have I been a big fan, but in this it was just too much of her and I didn't think her performance was brilliant like some people obviously think, won't be surprised if she ends up getting nominated for an Oscar because of all of the hype but I don't think she honestly deserves to win one for this performance, good but not great.
George is too old to play an astronaut. There, I said it. He's what like 60 years old and we are supposed to believe that NASA would send a man that age up into space? At least that Clint Eastwood/Donald Sutherland movie about old timers going into space was supposed to be a comedy.
Some great effects obviously. But overall this movie is very overrated and just good but not great.
Satisfaction (2013)
Slightly More Bad Than Good
This Canadian comedy show has good things going for it and also bad things taking away from it, just like most other shows on TV.
I have just heard this show has been canceled and wanted to come put in my two cents before it is put to rest.
The show's main star Luke McFarlane is horrible in this. I'm sure he's a good actor and if you look at his credits he's done a lot of drama, but good actors do not necessarily make good comedy performers. He is just not believable, seems to be too old for the role he is playing, and to be very blunt and a bit cruel I guess he is just not funny.
The female star Leah Renee (Luke M's love interest) is OK I could take her or leave her and she is very pretty.
The other male lead Ryan Belleville is not as bad as other reviews here suggest. He is also too old for his role and is a very silly character but he's silly in a way that he is supposed to be, he is a very immature guy with zero responsibility and very selfish.
The other characters are good and bad. Cat lady and Simon are funny, Gary is unfunny and annoying and the hockey playing bar owner is maybe the character I hate most, so awful and not at all funny.
The show was also very fast paced which I think hurt it, there are so many silly characters going in different directions that I think it really hurt the show over all.
I wish this show had one more season to see where it could actually go but I am not at all surprised that they are pulling the plug.
Rest In Peace Satisfaction we hardly knew you.