mojoguzzi-879-68498 Reviews

Performance (1970)

Seminal Brit Gangster Movie and Then Some

[10/10 · 1 May 2024]

Decades ahead of its time, this movie is probably too esoteric to appeal to a wide audience. The suits at the movie studio that bankrolled it thought so.

Anyone who gets easily confused by complex plots, ambiguous story points or experimental cinematic techniques will find plenty to not like. It's also questionable whether today's younger audience, for whom social conformity is de rigueur, will appreciate a movie made when nonconformity was treasured.

Cinema buffs and Stones fans might appreciate "Performance" for its storied history. Jagger fans will be treated to one of his most powerful performances, in the scene where his character Turner reclaims his creative daemon. The soundtrack is outstanding from beginning to end - haunting and provocative.

Donald Cammell's brilliant script is loaded with shocking violence and nods to the sexual liberation and emerging gay rights sentiments of its era. The experimental editing and sound design reflect the psychedelic essence of the story.

James Fox is terrific as Chaz, the ne plus ultra gangland enforcer, a fastidious, tight-assed thug with ice cold blood in his veins who slips up by letting his emotions run amok, leading to a fateful meeting with his karmic opposite.

We first meet Chaz at the top of his game, the nastiest gangster ever to grace the silver screen. Turner is washed up, a rock star at rock bottom, clinging to the last threads of his ego, his life held together by his gorgeous bi girlfriend Pherber, who isn't too proud to collect the rent to keep their bohemian sanctuary afloat.

Alas, it is Pherber who unleashes the forces of fate by attempting to jumpstart Turner's career using her feminine wiles.

An adorable little boho girl, a sweet French naif and a plethora of creepy gangsters are all well cast and excellent actors. Exactly how Nic Roeg and Donald Cammell collaborated as co-directors is somewhat unclear, but what they created is exceptional.

Satanic Hispanics (2022)

Well-produced Horror Tostada

[7/10 · 23 March 2024]

As others have pointed out, this is a very mixed bag, a loose collection of horror tales of varying tone, ranging from one seriously creepy offering from Damien Rugna, who previously gave us the ultra-creepy Terrified, to a handful of more or less comedic stories.

Production values are topnotch. The efx are excellent in design and execution, from the Goya-esque monstrosity in Rugna's segment to various demons in the others. Casting, acting, direction, cinematography and costumes are equally good. The production designers and art directors made some interesting uses of color.

The script is a collection of unconnected one or two act shorts strung together by a storyteller wraparound. Rugna's "Tambien Lo V" stands out as the only truly scary one in the bunch, but the rest are entertaining in their own way. Think "Tales of the Darkside" with elevated production values - lightweight genre fare typical of Epic's ouevre.

Overall this is a great showcase for the directors, actors and crew. But to be honest, most of my rating is due to Rugna's contribution, because he's one of the rare directors today delivering genuine horror.

Witch Hunt (I) (2021)

Sadly Stupid Screenplay Ruins It

[4/10 · 22 March 2024]

This movie starts off on a very promising note, but before the first scene is over we have our first WTF moment. What follows makes you wonder if any of the dozen or so producers listed in the credits ever questioned the writer-director about the idiocies in the script.

For starters we have a red-haired witch being burned at the stake. Her two red-haired mini-me daughters are standing nearby weeping their eyes out - amid a throng of zealous witch hunters, The burning witch shouts at them over and over to "run!" Despite the obviousness of it all, none of the evil witch hunters takes notice and lets the two little witches run away.

Across country the witch kids take refuge with a mother whose home is a waystation en route to the sanctuary of Mexico on a witchy version of the underground railroad. They're hidden in a secret passageway whose entrance is a massive door that couldn't be more obvious if it had big red neon arrows pointing at it. But when the gestapo-like witch hunter who killed their mom and apparently tracked them thousands of miles after letting them go shows up with his magic compass that points right to that big ole door, he doesn't make the connection.

Later, for no apparent reason, the elder teen witch (who's supposed to be laying low because the nasty witch hunter is already sniffing around and has also burned another witch just a few days before) and the mom's teen daughter go out to a local diner, where they magically raise a bunch of barstools to the ceiling, astonishing a dozen locals who witness the event.

There's more sloppy scripting, which is a shame because the premise is pretty good - no doubt inspired by A Handmaid's Tale and intended as a metaphor for the undocumented immigrant issue.

Despite these huge flaws, the casting and acting are good and the production values are solid, if modest. The director is better at directing than writing, that's for sure. With a little more work on the script this could have been a winner.

Dashcam (I) (2021)

Transcends the Sub-genre

[8/10 · 17 March 2024]

I'm happy to stand miles apart from the haters ragging on this audacious film and particularly on lead actress Annie Hardy. She's a major breath of fresh air, loaded with personality, delivering crazy-assed raps that mix goofball sexual imagery with anti-vax taunting.

No doubt many of the haters were turned off the minute she slapped a red Maga cap on her pretty head or referred to her co-stars as libtards. The rest seem to be rap purists who can't stomach a white chick culturally appropriating the genre to spew lighthearted lyrics that don't praise fast money and guns or life in the ghetto.

Kudos to director Rob Savage and his writing partners for creating the first POV cam feature that isn't just a cheapo snoozefest with a few gratuitous scares thrown in. This film, despite a low budget, is bubbling over with genuine horror. It is chaotic with more shaky-cam than necessary, but it moves along at a jackrabbit pace.

The cast is excellent, diverse in race and age. The locations are a cut above the budget, including a vacant amusement park with a gorgeous art deco house of mirrors.

Even the title sequences are bold and fresh, more creatively designed and more readable than most of the credit sequences seemingly slapped on films today as an afterthought.

Due to the frenetic camera work and choppy editing, Dashcam is more entertaining than scary. The horror is there, it's just less suspenseful than it would be in a more traditionally styled film.

It's obviously not a film for everyone, especially in an era where ideological conformities dictate mass culture.

Bad Things (2023)

Painfully Boring

[1/10 · 9 March 2024]

If this little gem is any indication, Shudder seems to have switched from producing horror films to producing horrific ones. The meager attempts to be scary in this script are bits lifted from other movies. Unfortunately these bits are so poorly directed they only serve to stir up unfavorable comparisons to the originals they were heisted from. Instead of the spooky little girls of The Shining, the hall of this film's hotel is haunted by two lithe young women jogging in place, looking like rejects from a failed aerobics program. Texas Chainsaw Massacre is also represented, and for more than one reason I wish the chainsaw wielding actor was wearing a mask like Leatherface.

Production values are rock bottom. A potentially creepy location is completely wasted on the milksop screenplay. Why there's a "production designer" listed in the credits is a total head scratcher. I would love to know what exactly they did to transform what appears to be a recently vacated hotel into what appears to be a recently vacated hotel. But maybe I'm wrong. Despite one character describing the place as "the Four Seasons of the 80s" it looks more like a Target shopping center converted into a Holiday Inn.

The costumes are a mixed bag ranging from ridiculous to hot. In one scene an actress appears wearing what can only be described as a clown gown ripped straight from the pages of a Zippy the Pinhead comic book. Earlier in the film we're treated to the same trans actress prancing through the halls in her underpants. We also get Molly Ringwold in a scorching red ensemble, looking absolutely delicious for a woman of any age.

If you're a fan of Shudder's agenda, which puts more emphasis on promoting progressive social values than providing scares, you might enjoy this tale of young LGBTQ+ lovers and friends wasting time in an empty hotel. Just sprinkle some No-Doz on yiour popcorn.

The Exorcist: Believer (2023)

Starts well... and has good efx...and uh...

[5/10 · 30 October 2023]

I was excited to see this movie. Jason Blum has given us some awesome films in the past few years, including the highly entertaining "Totally Killer" and the edge-of-your-seat thriller "The Passenger". Unfortunately "The Exorcist Believer" isn't in the same class.

Not surprising since there are five writers credited on this film, the script starts off on a promising foot with a couple of good scenes that establish our main characters and effectively draw us into the story, but ends up stumbling to a clumsy, unsatisfactory end. Having two girls possessed was an interesting choice, but it turned out to be little more than padding the script with an extra set of uninteresting characters.

The casting is fine, the efx are impressive and the first demonic manifestations are really creepy. In fact, the simple bit about the lights going off and on was scarier than all the bombastic special efx piled up in the last half of the film.

It's sad that horror directors today are equipped with state-of-the-art technologies but too many don't grasp the fact that scary cgi images are just a wasted opportunity if the film lacks genuine suspense to set up the scares. It's also apparent that the oft-disparaged jump scares require an artful touch that not all working "horror" directors possess.

Dead Shack (2017)

2nd worst zombie film ever

[1/10 · 10 September 2020]

There's an art to writing three dimensional characters. B movies are often peopled with 2D characters. This one has only one dimensional clowns whose less than clever banter would doom a sitcom.

But if you enjoy characters who are obnoxious, rude, stupid and heartless then you might find this entertaining. When "loved ones" die, they shriek for a moment then instantly revert to form, cracking mundane wisecracks, as if the dear departed never existed. There's not a shred of authentic emotion, and not a genuinely humorous line of dialog to compensate. This is clearly the end result of writers who were weaned on sitcoms filled with constant bickering and playful insults but who lacked the chops to pull it off in an entertaining manner.

The action is just as simple-minded. There is zero suspense generated, partly because it's impossible to care about any of the characters and partly because the director doesn't have a clue about pacing or staging a scare.

The cinematography is better than the script deserves and the zombie make-up and blood splatters are well-done, which is probably all that was needed to satisfy those fans who gave this more than three stars.

Victor Crowley (2017)

A Horror Fan's Delight

[10/10 · 11 October 2017]

Adam Green is quite possibly the most talented director working in the horror field today. His films are always loads of fun, with subtle touches of humor like the hillbilly in Hatchet 1 drinking from a plastic urinal bottle, offhanded details that are easily missed if you don't pay attention. Of course there's plenty of not so subtle humor as well, especially in the Hatchet films which are Grand Guignol at its most extreme.

Those little touches are just part of the tapestry Green weaves, using every weapon in a film maker's arsenal. VICTOR CROWLEY could serve as a film school model of how to use sound and how to frame a shot for maximum effect.

There isn't a weak role in the script and every actor hits just the right tone. The acting is dead on perfect all around and the casting is sublime. Laura Ortiz is adorable as a feisty little sexpot, Dave Sheridan nails the hungry actor wannabe, Parry Shen shows great range. Too many to name them all, the entire cast is excellent.

Green's directorial skills are matched by his writing. Humor in horror is tricky. If you're making a horror film with humor, as opposed to a horror-themed comedy, it's easy to lose your balance, and too many directors cheapen their films with sophomoric one liners. Victor Crowley is loaded with very smart humor, some of it dark, some character-based.

The cinematography and sets are topnotch. The special efx are fantastic. One in particular is worth the price of admission... I'll say no more than that.

If you can't stomach gory efx, this film is definitely not for you. For fans, it's a gourmet feast.

Killing Ground (2016)

Very good directing but the script is a bit of a mess

[7/10 · 29 September 2017]

This film is definitely not for anyone who's squeamish about violence. It is brutal. Fans of Deliverance and hardcore psycho violence will probably enjoy it, despite its flaws.

The acting is excellent and the action scenes are well directed, with gun play, some reasonable gore and a good car stunt or two. Cinematography is excellent, as is the soundtrack. Production values all around are good and the cast is very appealing and talented.

Unfortunately the script is a bit lacking in more than one area. Character development is just adequate, despite a very long set-up before the action kicks in. The ending is abrupt. Worse, however, are the "what the--?" moments stemming from some patently illogical moves by some characters and a badly executed attempt to spice things up by breaking up the timeline of the story.

Someone earned a "script editor" credit but the bad story editing might have been a choice made in post. Only those involved would know who to blame. But whoever decided it was wise to mix things up should have taken the initiative to see that it was done artfully, not with an axe. Even a clunky "day before" subtitle would have helped to alleviate the confusion. As it is, I sat through several minutes of the film wondering what happened to the "twin brother" before I realized it was all one character and wondering why there were two babies in the film when one would have sufficed.

If you like extreme violence and suspense watch it despite its flaws. Chalk up the flaws to a first time director's mistakes (or maybe bad advice?) and here's hoping he does better next time because he certainly can direct.

Fear the Walking Dead: Brother's Keeper (2017) Season 3, Episode 12

Maddeningly Stupid Characters

[5/10 · 25 September 2017]

WARNING!! SPOILERS!!!!!

I'll agree up front that the show has greatly improved since season one, at least as far as the zombies go. For that reason I've given it two stars more than I feel it deserves, based on the resources available to the producers and how they are squandered on bad storytelling with a total lack of regard for morality or logic.

It's a testament to the draw of the zombie genre that I keep tuning in week after week to this train wreck, despite how much I hate the main characters and their non-stop idiotic actions. Whenever any situation on the show seems to have reached a critical point, you can rest assured that either Madison or Nick Clark will find a way to make it even worse and get some more innocent people killed.

The Brothers Keeper episode took that annoyance to a new level. Not only does Nick sacrifice the life of one of the few refreshingly likable characters on the show, he does so in order to save the life of a total psychotic lunatic who clearly deserves to be killed for the safety of the entire community.

And stupider on a grand scale, after the psycho loonie lures a horde of zombies to attack the ranch by using loud noises, it never occurs to Nick to attempt to change the horde's direction by honking the horn of the pick-up truck or using the loonie's loud gun that he's confiscated to lead them away. Instead he chooses to pout and glower and suggest that the loonie he just saved by sacrificing another life, now kill himself.

There was an attempt early in the season to rationalize Madison's cold-hearted disregard for the innocent lives she routinely sacrifices to give her family some slight edge for survival, but there's no reason for the audience to value the Clark family over the disposable characters left dead in their wake, except for daughter Alicia. And the way the writers of this show love their despicable characters, I suspect that Alicia will be gone before long, probably pushed by Madison into a throng of ravenous zombies to save herself or Nick.

Can't wait for The Walking Dead to return.

Kristy (2014)

A Perfect Gem of a Thriller

[10/10 · 19 September 2017]

I'm tempted to call this film "neo-Hitchcockian" but Hitchcock purists would no doubt scream bloody murder. Let's just say it is masterfully directed from a tight and well-developed screenplay, with top of the line production values in every department.

Screenwriter Anthony Jaswinski (Vanishing on 7th Street, The Shallows) hit the nail perfectly on the head, creating a believable character in extraordinary circumstances who acts like any smart person would do, not like the dummies that usually populate films in this genre.

Combining naturalistic acting with deftly staged action and beautiful lighting, director Olly Blackburn proves that high style doesn't have to preclude substance. He builds the main character beautifully, through a few brief interactions and a non-verbal montage that completes our image of who this girl is.Then the suspense begins, in teasing drips and drabs that shift gear at just the right moment and speed.

The casting is spot on and the cinematography could not be better. Horror directors planning to shoot night scenes in darkness should watch this film for pointers on how to do it right.

The music is another delight. Both the score and the handful of songs are fresh and contribute precisely to the film's tone.

Disjointed (2017–2018)

How can anyone sit through this? And why would they?

[1/10 · 19 September 2017]

Sitcom aren't my usual cup of tea but I enjoy truly funny, groundbreaking ones like It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia, Louie, or Broad City. I loathe the kind that feature canned characters (he's the nerdy one and she's the quirky one and oh my what a naughty tongue that old mom has) and even worse, canned laughter.

Scanning the reviews here I see that I'm not alone. The canned laughter on this show is without a doubt the most egregious and annoying example of canned laughter in the history of television. I would honestly not be surprised to learn it was computer programmed to fire randomly every fifteen seconds regardless of what was happening on screen.

There is nothing unique or groundbreaking or even hip about this show. Everyone connected to it, especially the writers, must be constant stoners whose rose-tinted John Lennon wireframes make the entire universe funny. I imagine they burst into hysterical laughter every time they sneeze or stub a toe. Take away the pot angle and the generic characters could fit into any lame sitcom scenario.

But since there are some people giving it high marks it appears to have found its target audience. My guess is they're adolescents who've recently discovered the wonders of weed and have never seen a Cheech and Chong movie and they watch this show with vaper in hand, busting a gut every time the laugh track cues them.

Temple (2017)

Big Disappointment

[2/10 · 19 September 2017]

This is a far cry from Simon Barrett's work with Adam Wingard. A running time of 78 minutes would be okay if those minutes were packed with meat, but this bone is padded with empty fat calories.

The storyline is like a stretched out short story. Character development is minimal. The payoff is pathetic. The camera work is nice during the set-up scenes in the city and daylight but once the "scary" stuff starts we are literally in the dark, annoyingly so, for long stretches with whatever is finally happening taking place in short bursts in near pitch darkness. One major "surprise" is obvious right from its initial setup.

If you think you're in the mood for this, I'd recommend watching The Forest instead, even if you've already seen it.

Carnage Park (2016)

Somewhere between Rob Zombie and Quention T...

[9/10 · 6 August 2017]

Mickey Keating is a director worth checking out. His films aren't perfect, peppered with self-indulgent dollops of his signature flash-out-of-the-darkness sequences that often remind us that less is more. While Carnage Park ranks with his best work, there are a few scenes shot in near or total darkness that go on for too long in a misfired attempt to build suspense. When used late in his films the endings sometimes fizzle, rendering his climax a bit anti-climactic.

Despite this editorial shortcoming, Keating ranks among the best young directors working today. His casting choices are superb as is his work with the actors. Ashley Bell fans will be delighted with her performance in Carnage Park which showcases her range as an actress and her girl next door sex appeal. I could name every other actor as well, suffice it to say they all give great performances.

Action, make-up efx, cinematography are all topnotch. The editing is generally good, deftly handling a story that's disjointed but cohesive, the only questionable edits being the overly long dark sequences that really solely on the soundtrack to propel them.

The soundtrack will either thrill you or turn you off, depending on how open you are to off- the-wall soundscapes, which include a few Vietnamese songs that are too bizarre by Western commercial standards to ignore. I loved it, but you may not. Otherwise the sound mixing and the score is excellent.

If you enjoyed QT's Pulp Fiction or RZ's Devil's Rejects you'll probably dig this as well.

Walking with the Enemy (2013)

Noble Effort

[7/10 · 24 July 2017]

If you enjoy movies about WW2 or the Holocaust then you might find enough in this movie to make it worthwhile. It's a bit schizophrenic. Luckily the good parts outweigh the bad.

There's plenty of wartime action and suspense, and for the most part it's fairly well directed. It's the personal dramatic parts that occasionally fall flat, usually dragged down by some expository dialog that might as well have the actors holding up signs that read "here's a little bit of the history." Ben Kingsley's first appearance in the film is a good example. His hairpiece looks great but he delivers an uncharacteristically leaden balloon as he "converses" about the situation in his country. In his later scenes he's excellent.

The coda offers an equally clunky wrap-up of the story. It also left me scratching my head, wondering why -- since they acknowledge at this late point that it's based on a true life hero -- why they didn't just make it about that person. Was it perhaps a literary rights issue? If so, why bother mentioning the real person at all?

The direction and editing are also uneven, generally good but occasionally terrible. The big action or suspense scenes are very effectively staged and edited, but the "fade to black" transitions at times are more appropriate for a TV movie needing to break for a commercial than for an (alleged) 80 million epic.

And while the costumes and hairstyles are generally authentic, the lead actor's hair and the little boy's are way too modern, a constant reminder that we're watching a movie and these are only actors playing a role. If the whole story didn't depend on the lead passing himself off as a Nazi soldier, his millennial 'do might have passed muster. Note to future filmmakers: if directing a period piece, check out some old stock footage or paintings to make sure your hair department is on the ball... and don't hire actors who refuse to cut their precious locks.

Don't expect The Pianist or Saving Private Ryan but it's also far from the disaster some of the reviewers here report.

The Lure (2015)

Kinky Modern Take of a Classic Folktale

[10/10 · 22 July 2017]

Very loosely based on The Little Mermaid by Hans Christian Andersen, THE LURE is as far from a Disneyfied version as you can get. If you've ever uttered the phrase "a bit much for my tastes" then you'll probably want to steer clear of this one. There are generous helpings of nudity, sex and violence. The musical numbers range from ballads about being roofied to an energetic punk rock performance.

Production values are top notch all around. There is nothing cheesy about the mermaid tails or transformations and the gory make-up effects are disturbingly real.

Coming from a culture with supernatural embedded in its bones, it's no surprise that the two young leads capture perfectly the traditional folkloric creatures they play -- virginally appealing, seductively alluring, inherently dangerous and morally conflicted mermaids.

Equal parts horror film and musical, THE LURE is kinkier and bloodier than ROCKY HORROR, a bit more ambitious with impressive special efx, and sporting a very attractive and talented cast. Besides the amphibious starlets there's an angel-faced loverboy, a couple of hot milfs and even the scarred punk merman is brutally sexy.

The opening hook grabs you and in a flash you're on a playfully warped joyride with strippers and lesbian cop sex and dirty old men. The story bounces through unexpected twists and turns but somehow hangs onto its main through-line -- the tale of a mermaid who falls in love with a human.

Black Butterfly (II) (2017)

Very Good Movie, Bad Sound Mix

[7/10 · 12 July 2017]

A remake of a foreign thriller, this version is worth your while if you've read the synopsis and the story sounds appealing.

The direction is crisp. Editing and cinematography are generally excellent. The story and script are tight and twisty. The casting is excellent -- Antonio Banderas was cast instead of Nicholas Cage and we can all be thankful for that. Jonathan Rhys-Meyers and Piper Perabo do a great job as well, as do the supporting players.

Sadly, the sound mix is one of the worst I've ever heard, due to the poorly mixed dialog tracks and one song that is cranked too loud (and not a great song at that). The dialog volume veers wildly all throughout the movie, from barely audible mumbling to deafening shouts. I had to watch this with my controller in hand to be ready to drop or raise the volume significantly at every radical shift.

The fact that two production sound mixers are credited might point to the problem (i.e. -- the first one might have been replaced for being incompetent), but there's no excuse for not fixing it in post so the ultimate blame belongs to the post supervisor and the dozen or so producers listed in the credits who should have insisted on and sprung for a better mix. Yes, post sound is an expensive item but it's also a critical feature.

Ironically, the sound efx are top notch. It might be a small triumph, but the gun shots are the most realistic shots I've ever heard in a movie.

If you like tense commercial thrillers, check it out. Just keep the volume control handy, particularly if your neighbors are sensitive to noise.

Here Comes the Devil (2012)

Outstanding Original Horror Gem

[10/10 · 10 July 2017]

Horror is undoubtedly the most overworked genre in both the movie and publishing industries. The vast majority of offerings are tedious retreads of old ideas. For every good zombie or vampire film there are a dozen pieces of crap. A bazillion books about Gothic mansions with "dark secrets" clutter the shelves. The big studios slap the latest fashionable effects on some half-baked story with no real feel for the genre, and when they finally strike gold with a winner like The Conjuring, they capitalize on it with a poorly contrived sequel.

The best horror today comes from indies, as it has since the 1960s. And the best indies these days -- the most consistently original and exciting -- are Spanish filmmakers.

"Here Comes the Devil" is a sterling example. It might be classified as a supernatural thriller or a demonic possession film, but it bends the genre in a way that's never been done before. Creepy and mysterious, it teases the viewer along to its horrific climax.

Don't expect buckets of gore, but there are a few steamy sex scenes early on to get things rolling, most notably the scorching make-out scene in the car. And despite its obvious low budget, it's light-years more entertaining than the glut of shot-on-video POV pap typically comprised of ninety-nine parts filler. There's no tedious waiting for something to happen. The hook comes early and keeps steadily reeling you in.

The only caveat is the dubbing, which is iffy at times but not insufferably so. And parochial minded fans of Hollywood horror might not appreciate the naturalistic casting, even though the acting is topnotch.

If you're sick of the usual horror fodder this is the cure.

Land of Smiles (2016)

Painfully Vapid Video Travelogue Thinly Disguised as a Horror Film

[1/10 · 9 July 2017]

This little doozy makes me wish the videocamera had never been invented. But I'll say this for Bradley Stryker. He knows how to get his vacations paid for. This shot-on-video dreck is 98% amateur travel footage -- the kind of home movie a proud 1950s camera-owning suburbanite might have forced his friends and neighbors to sit through -- with 2% "horror" slapped on in order to market it to suckers.

If you're expecting another "Hostel" (or anything close to it) get that thought out of your head. This is more like a PG-rated travel video shot by Uwe Boll.

The "scary" stuff features a threatening clown-masked villain with a filtered voice -- to say he's a poor man's version of Jigsaw from Saw would be an insult to poor men. The rest of this video venture is footage of the actors dancing at raves, wandering the streets or lounging on the beaches of Thailand.

I'm embarrassed to say I fell for the ruse -- I kept watching, waiting for something of substance to develop. It was like watching a house slowly burn, waiting for the walls to give way and the roof to finally collapse. There are a few pretty actresses but don't expect much if you're looking for T'n'A, and you'll still be disappointed.

The ending is predictable and entirely anti-climactic. Writer-director Stryker hasn't a clue how to build suspense or tell a proper story. The videography is nice, taking advantage of the plethora of dayglo backdrops and lush beauty of the country, like any competent travel piece would.

Adding to the torture is the music. Stryker managed to dig up some of the most annoying songs ever recorded for this opus. The two at the end are particularly heinous, one meant to be ironic (Baby Girl) and the other a children's bubblegum ditty called Boom Boom something-or-other that cannot be adequately described with mere words.

Perhaps the worst thing of all is the end credit sequence, which takes us to a new location. Obviously our Aussie auteur has plans for a sequel.

Authors Anonymous (2014)

A Movie About Writers - For Writers!

[8/10 · 11 June 2017]

Perusing the reviews I see positive and negative. I'd bet my next paycheck that the more glowing reviews are from the most experienced writers. The characters are dead on representations of several common personality types and varying levels of talent likely to be found in any group of writers and writer wannabes.

Some of the characterizations are exaggerated for comic effect, but anyone who's walked the walk in Hollywood or the publishing industry will recognize the doctor slash idea man and the writer who's never read a book, the nasty jealousies and ego bashing, the agents and successful writers besieged by hopeless desperadoes and the pay-to-publish scams.

Chris Klein and Kaley Cuoco give nuanced performances that stand out among the over-the-top supporting characters.

The only big complaint I have is that the writer of this writers movie only gets fourth bill behind the director and producer credits and the director's producing credit, the first two of which are inexplicably repeated after an interstitial closing clip. Fittingly ironic, I suppose.

The Twilight Zone: Mr. Garrity and the Graves (1964) Season 5, Episode 32

Really bad writing and cheeseball direction - not the TZ's finest moment

[1/10 · 22 March 2017]

How in the world anyone can praise this episode is a puzzle. The script is a mess. It's corny and poorly developed, with no attempt to capture the feeling of the era. The acting is hammy and the characters are paper thin.

One glaring example of how ridiculous the script is, is when the huckster fleecing the town demands a thousand dollars for his services from his first sucker... and the townspeople in this desolate Old West town - when skilled laborers earned about 25 cents an hour - open up their wallets and pull out hundreds of dollars each to pay him.

Ironically, while The TZ was known for its moralistic stories this one has no real moral twist, just a cheeseball coda that will leave any discriminating viewer wincing. The final round of dialog is the tritest I've ever heard in any filmed entertainment.

Texas Killing Fields (2011)

Gripping crime thriller with terrific cast

[9/10 · 18 March 2017]

I was surprised to discover that this film was directed by Ami Mann whose father Michael has made a career directing slick films that tend to favor style over substance. Her directorial style is the antithesis of his - gritty and naturalistic. The cast, which includes future stars like Jessica Chastain and Jeffrey Dean Morgan as well as several already established names, is exceptional and the locations, wardrobe and cinematography help create the perfect atmosphere for this dark and tense drama.

There are a few choppy jumps in the storyline and one loose end that is left untied. Whether created in the screenplay or in editing is impossible to know, but they're minor problems in an otherwise solid production.

If you haven't seen this yet and you like edge-of-your-seat crime dramas check it out.

Outlaws and Angels (2016)

Superb but Sordid Western Thriller

[10/10 · 11 March 2017]

I didn't expect much when I tuned into this movie and was more than pleasantly surprised. I was expecting another modern indie Western shot in some Wild West theme park with stunt men pretending to be actors and a half-baked script.

Outlaws and Angels blew me away. The psychosexual dynamics of the screenplay stretch the Western genre until it bursts apart at the seams. This is not a family film. It's not Shane, although it is something of a morality play, with several characters getting their just due at the end of a gun. There is plenty of violence and sexual content. Although the seedier bits are handled with care, prudes and squeamish viewers are advised to skip this one.

The direction and editing are crisp and tight and the production values are excellent. Locations and costumes are authentic - there are no actresses with bleached hair and Maybelline blush and no cheap polyester duds on the dudes. The soundtrack is the most inventive in the genre since Ennio Morricone's signature work on spaghetti Westerns.

The cast is superb and matched perfectly with their characters. All the actors are totally believable and appealing, but Francesca Eastwood steals the show with her quirky beauty and nuanced performance.

If you like intense action thrillers like Sicario, check this one out. I can't wait to see what this director does next.

Taras Bulba (2009)

Entertaining but Unapologetic Russian Propaganda

[6/10 · 11 March 2017]

I was excited to see this movie and it was entertaining. Fans of the show Vikings will appreciate the gritty, authentic characterizations of the Cossacks with their fierce personas, bushy mustaches and shaved forelocks. The Cossacks were a collection of hard-living freebooters, many criminal refugees, who fled to the wilds of the Ukraine from all parts of Russia to live independently. Riding in packs with disregard for life and limb, they were the Christian counterpart to the mounted Tartar hordes they often sparred with, like two Medieval motorcycle gangs.

Unfortunately the film ultimately degenerates into an appalling propaganda piece with a slew of nobly dying Cossacks declaring their love for Mother Russia and angry heartfelt wishes that Russia and its brand of Orthodox Christianity will someday conquer the world. If this was a Muslim film expressing the same type of sentiments people would be screaming for drones to take action on the filmmakers.

Even creepier, several of the dying declarations and other venomous speeches target Poland - and although the Poles are the enemies of the Cossack horde in the film, the message is clearly intended to transcend the time period, with expressed wishes that "the Polacks" will be sorry someday. In today's political climate, the film is undoubtedly a cry to arms for Putin's burgeoning reactionary groupies, who publicly dream of restoring Russia's Soviet era empire.

The film spends way too much time on these propaganda points and far too little on story development. The love story so critical to the storyline is choppy and unconvincing, with the Cossack traitor allowed to enter the Polish princess's boudoir and have his way with her while her family and retainers blithely ignore his entrance. While the Medieval Poles were reputedly more sexually liberated than their European neighbors, it is unthinkable that a traitorous knight- in-training would be allowed such liberties with a noble. On top of that, the young Cossack was enthusiastically assailing the castle walls just a day before. (The relationship in the Tony Curtis version of this story was much more ably developed.)

If the movie ended about three-quarters of the way in, the bits of propaganda scattered throughout might pass for authentic dialog - as would the "hero" Taras' scorn for the Jewish merchant, portrayed as a groveling money grubber. But just when you're sure the movie is over, the battle is extended and the litany of cornball dying words is unleashed... to go on and on and on...

With the recent events in the Ukraine over disputed territory, one can only wonder whose side the old independent Cossacks would take today. "Mother Russia" or a free Ukraine?

The Day of the Siege: September Eleven 1683 (2012)

Great subject matter squandered on bad script

[6/10 · 9 March 2017]

For years the Hollywood studios had a rep for creating dumbed down "Hollywood" versions of reality. Now we know they aren't alone in failing to honor some of the greatest, most dramatic slices of history by jazzing them up with unnecessarily hokey dressing.

The Siege of Vienna in 1683 was a tale that begged to be told - and told properly. The true protagonist was King Jan Sobieski, and although he is given the credit he is due in this misfired epic, he is sadly given short shrift in screen time, appearing in a scant fraction of the film's running time. In his place the writers (no doubt to please the Italian market and anti-Islamic backers) injected the superfluous (and possibly completely fictitious?) character of a saintly monk, whose sole purpose seems to be a cheerleader for the heavily Christian anti-Islamic propagandist tone of the movie.

The connection to 9/11 is an obvious draw, although in reality although the Turkish siege began its climax on that date, the dramatic ending happened on the 12th when the Polish Hussars led their suicidal charge that freaked out the Turks and broke their resolve for the siege.

To accommodate the overly long and somewhat messy story of the monk (and other minor characters in his entourage) the filmmakers discarded a majorly important component of the true story - Sobieski's long journey to the battlefield, gathering troops along the way. It would have been more sensible and more exciting to show his race against time in counterpoint to the Turkish march to Vienna.

And while the colorful Hussars are the heroes of the movie, the director showed no imagination in depicting their arrival and their historical charge. There is no wind whistling through their feathered back-braces which freaked out the enemy horses and put their cavalry in disarray... no thundering horse hooves or rows of long lowered lances crashing into the enemy lines. And their surprising arrival is blown by Sobieski's appearance at court (so the Italian monk can put his two cents in). It would have been much more dramatic to have the Hussars show up along a ridgeline unannounced, starting with a tracking shot of their feathers rising into view.

That said, because the production of this misfired movie now makes it unlikely that a proper homage will be filmed, it is worth checking this one out for what it's worth. There are some good battle scenes to balance out the cheesier story points and occasional over-the-top acting. The special EFX are not as bad as some have complained about, and the CGI is not as bad as some I've seen in much more expensive Hollywood films.

With young people distracted by so much ephemeral crap these days, filmmakers should take the lead when it comes to history and do it right. There is so much incredible drama just waiting to be revealed, and it just might inspire more interest in learning.