Don't be too daunted by the negative reviews, this film is not as bad as many make it sound. It actually is a pretty enjoyable film that delivers on the thrills and chills. The film itself (like it's star predator) is a terrifying chimera of various elements from previous Jurassic Park films, books, games, and media that packs a powerful punch. The movie DEFINITELY knew it's audience and delivers on mostly all the right notes. That's not to say there were some things that were either missed opportunities or made me roll my eyes, with the biggest cringe-factor being Jimmy Fallon's annoying and unnecessary cameos. I just really wished they used more practical effects and animatitronics like the past films, one factor that even Jurassic Park 3 had a leg up over this film. The pacing also seemed a little too rushed and fast in many areas, and John Williams' scores are heavily missed as well as Stan Winston's hyper-realistic creations. It is too bad this film couldn't of been made back in the 90's or early 2000's back when such things were still appreciated by film makers and studios. Other then that, this film is pretty good in it's own right, though it shouldn't be at fault for not fully living up to the monumental epicness and mountain of nostalsia of the original classic.
Reviews
11 Reviews
Mad Max: Fury Road
(2015)
Oh What A Day! What A Lovely Day!
12 June 2015
This film is the cinematic equivalent of eating a jar of raw ghost peppers dipped in jet fuel as you jump out of a plane as the Norse gods do battle against the goons of Loki as they wage Ragnarok! This movie is one long string of crazy over-the-top action and violence that kicks in the teeth of the cliché that remakes will always stink. This film makes the three before it look tame in comparison, being unapologetic in it's own insane madness and craziness. I highly recommend this entire film, it does not disappoint!
"Oh What A Day, What A Lovely Day!" -Nux
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"Oh What A Day, What A Lovely Day!" -Nux
Hilarious or Horribly Cringe-Worthy? Why Not Both....
23 April 2014
It's funny how when everyone (and I mean EVERYONE) talks about this episode they always focus on the furry-convention mystery and not on the freezer mystery, this shows you how much of an impact the first mystery played on people's perspectives. Some people love this episode, some people hate it, for me it's a weird mix of hilarity and cringing. First off it's pretty hilarious how the makers of the show took an aspect of a sub-culture and completely ran with it in the weirdest way possible. The amount of weird things in this episode makes it weirdly hilarious to me..........
1) Who hosts a furry convention in Las Vegas during the Summer? Fursuits are moving ovens, one does not simply wear one in the heat of the Nevada. To top that off, how did they get enough money to afford a venue in Las Vegas anyways? 2) The fursuits portrayed in the episode are poorly constructed and clunky, these must be the most mediocre furries I've ever seen! They look more like second-rate used baseball mascots from a local high-school then something someone would spend lots of time and money to make.
3) Our "heroes" bringing in lawyer wearing the blue cat costume into the station for questioning! That was so overly-bizarre that I couldn't believe someone actually wrote that, I mean you don't get any more bizarre then the sight of a balding lawyer being handcuffed and escorted into a police station while dressed as a blue "girl" cat.
4) So let me get this correct: the rancher who wildly shoots at a busy high-way because he sees a man in a raccoon-suit isn't charged with murder or the endangerment of other drivers. This would NEVER happen in real-life, believe me....
Of course then we get into the more.... messed up aspects of this episode. I don't want to go into detail on what happens at the convention during the episode, but believe me, it is really messed up and vomit-inducing.
1) Who hosts a furry convention in Las Vegas during the Summer? Fursuits are moving ovens, one does not simply wear one in the heat of the Nevada. To top that off, how did they get enough money to afford a venue in Las Vegas anyways? 2) The fursuits portrayed in the episode are poorly constructed and clunky, these must be the most mediocre furries I've ever seen! They look more like second-rate used baseball mascots from a local high-school then something someone would spend lots of time and money to make.
3) Our "heroes" bringing in lawyer wearing the blue cat costume into the station for questioning! That was so overly-bizarre that I couldn't believe someone actually wrote that, I mean you don't get any more bizarre then the sight of a balding lawyer being handcuffed and escorted into a police station while dressed as a blue "girl" cat.
4) So let me get this correct: the rancher who wildly shoots at a busy high-way because he sees a man in a raccoon-suit isn't charged with murder or the endangerment of other drivers. This would NEVER happen in real-life, believe me....
Of course then we get into the more.... messed up aspects of this episode. I don't want to go into detail on what happens at the convention during the episode, but believe me, it is really messed up and vomit-inducing.
Thor: The Dark World
(2013)
This Movie Could Have Been Great But Sadly It's.....Low-Key
23 April 2014
To be truly honest there were a lot of neat elements and scenes in this movie, however they were bogged down by several other groan-worthy elements. First let me point out that I thought that Thor (2011) was one of the more impressive of the recent Marvel movies, mostly because of my liking of Norse mythology (no matter how Hollywood-ized it may be). Going into the theater I expected a great movie, though I had some small doubts deep within myself after seeing Avengers. Let me first start with what was good:
Now then, we shall unfortunately go onto the elements that brought the movie down (at least for me):
In conclusion I would say that if you want to watch this movie, give it a try, but don't expect a great movie.
- Tom Hiddleston once again steals the show with his top-notch performance as Loki. Thankfully I was glad to see that they once again made him an in-depth character instead of a one-dimensional cliché boring villain like he was in Avengers.
- The scenes taking place in the Nine Realms were really breathtaking and unique, I commend the art department for their world design.
- A lot of the action scenes (outside of Earth) were well choreographed and directed, with enough elements to keep things interesting.
- The dynamic between Thor and Loki was particularly interesting in this movie, and I was glad that it went beyond "I hAtez yoi for-eva cause you waz da bad gui in Avengers".
- The villains had an interesting dark ascetic too them, almost a strange medieval Gothic mixed with HR Giger and just a splash of Elder Scrolls daedra. At first their "Teletubbie" masks were a bit distracting to me, but over time I sort of ignored it for the sake of the movie.
Now then, we shall unfortunately go onto the elements that brought the movie down (at least for me):
- The constant Avengers references got old really quickly, I mean REALLY quickly. Yes we get it, the Avengers happened, now can you please shut up about New York and focus on the current bad guys?
- A majority of the Earth scenes were slow, boring, dull, and took away screen time from the rest of the film. Perhaps the English tourism council paid Marvel tons of money just to film a majority of the scenes at famous landmarks in England.
- Jane and the scientists, to me, REALLY bogged this movie down and took away precious time that could be given to other more interesting characters. The constant cussing science assistant and goofy "were are my pants" jokes got old pretty quickly.
- Not harp on Anthony Hopkins, but his portrayal of Odin felt somewhat "phoned in". Almost during the entire movie he looked bored and detached, perhaps it could just be the writing and script though.
- The main dark-elf villain, Malekith the Accursed, seemed to have something lacking to his character. This however is true for most villains in Marvel movies, seems like DC movies get all the well developed villains....
- The final battle and climax! Oh goodness, I could not take that seriously whatsoever. I mostly blame the lame "paradox" gimmicks and the fact that it was taking place *SPOILERS* in the middle of an English university where a bunch of uniformed British students are hanging out by the library windows saying "By golly! That's bloody daft right there!".
In conclusion I would say that if you want to watch this movie, give it a try, but don't expect a great movie.
A Delightful Array of Pure Creature Creativity!
26 March 2014
This show so far has been very promising, with a great lineup of contestants that have put out some freaking awesome creature designs! To put this in perspective, the first "costumes"/puppets done in the first episode look almost better then most of the make-ups done during the season finales of FaceOff. As of now I feel confident to say that this might turn out to be an even better show then FaceOff, simply because the creature designs are so much more unique and interesting then those typically shown on FaceOff. The Fire Prawn and Skutterbug deep-sea creatures are perfect examples of the amazing things a skilled artist can do with fabric, tin- foil, foam, and other materials. In an Era of overused CGI and blue- screen effects it's nice to see a show that champions practice creature effects and awesome old-school puppetry. I'm definitely hooked on this show, this is now officially going to be the new highlight of my Tuesdays!
Howling III
(1987)
A Delicious Serving of Campy Werewolf Movie!
14 March 2014
While some people say this is the worst entry in the Howling series, I actually think it is one of the best of the sequels following the Joe Dante classic. Let's get one thing straight, this is an intentional camp film and takes great glee in being as cheesy as humanly possible. Here we are introduced to a new breed of lycanthrope from the Land Down- Under, a were-creature based on the long extinct thylacine. I don't want to give anything in the plot away but I would of really preferred if the movie focused more on giving us lots of werewolf action instead of focusing almost entirely on a certain romance-subplot. So in closing, I feel you should sit down with your friends and have have a laugh while watching this campy film.....
Face Off
(2011–2018)
Original or Mediocre: Depends Upon The Episode
13 March 2014
FaceOff is a show that varies in quality from episode to episode, it all is based on both the challenges and the contestants. Sometimes you'll have a great weekly challenge but mediocre artists, and sometimes you'll have outstanding artists with an uninspiring weekly challenge. When it's "bad" it's slightly boring at worst, when it's "good" it's freaking epic! For every two or three boring generic make ups on this show there is one awesome one that will make you drop your jaw in amazement. Special mention goes to the Neptune Werewolf, RJ's Lizard Flower, and a majority of makeups that Roy or Eric Fox made. If FaceOff had awesome challenges and awesome make ups every episode I would give it a 9, however since this is not always the case I can only give it an 8....
Underworld: Awakening
(2012)
A Sloppy Mess of Watered-Down Underworld and Resident Evil (SPOILERS)
4 February 2014
Warning: Spoilers
Let me first start off by saying that I found it REALLY odd that the main villains of the movie were lycans who ran a medical company, I guess the movie makers were trying to go for a Resident Evil approach (along with the opening shot of our main protagonist waking up in some biological-virus research laboratory). I just felt this was extremely contradictory to the past three films of the series, with the lycans being oppressed by the vampires. I was seriously expecting some-sort of uneasy alliance form between the remaining lycans and vampires in order to unite against the humans and their anti-vampire/lycan purges. What is even more frustrating is that they got rid of a majority of the previous characters and we are left with only a few boring ones. Almost all the mythology, back-story, and mythos is gone and we are only left with Matrix-wannabe vampires doing backflips and fighting boring fights against CGI gorillas....oops, I meant lycans.
The Garbage Pail Kids Movie
(1987)
The Title Says It All: This Movie Is Garbage
24 January 2014
I am a long time fan of cheesy and badly made movies, I am a strong believer in the idea that some movies can be so bad that they're good. Such examples include Troll 2, Manos: The Hands of Fate, Plan 9 From Outer-Space, The Killer Shrews, and other movies that are so cheesy that they are hilarious to watch. This film, however, is one of the most painful and horrifyingly bad films I have ever seen. I know that some people have the habit of saying "This is the worst movie ever!" every time they see a mediocre film, but believe me, I am dead serious about this being one of the most painful movies I have seen. Let me explain why I say this:
1) Our "protagonists" are creepy latex and foam masked Cabbage Patch Kids rejects who do all sorts of rude and unsocial acts upon random citizens. The term "bad special effects" does not even begin to cover the creepiness of the Garbage Pail kids themselves, with creepy corpse-like eyes and gaping mouths. Their ugly physical appearances are matched by their horrible inner appearances, spending the entire movie stealing, looting, vandalizing vehicles, beating up random people in a bar, puking on people, and other such rude acts that would land any other person in jail (and these are the heroes).
2) This movie seriously piles on one unfunny potty-joke after another, making many people sick to their stomachs from all the gross-out humor. I'm sure some people might think it's *hilarious* to see random pedestrians being covered in projectile vomit or see the zit-covered nerdy Garbage Pail kid pee his pants for the twentieth time, but I personally find this humor WAY to nauseating for my tastes.
3) The message of the movie is SERIOUSLY contradictory to what we our shown, with the message being to not judge others on their physical appearances and to instead look at what is inside each person. The problem with this syrupy message is that the Garbage Pail kids prove that they are just as hideous on the inside as they are on the outside. So since when is stealing vehicles and being total jerks to random people considered "nice", or is it technically "okay" for them to act this way since they're a bunch of giant headed weirdos from a magic trash-can (seriously). It's so bad that they make the random bullies in the movie look like stereotypical cub-scouts who help elderly ladies cross the street.
There are other flaws with this movie (such as the bullies and their strange motivations or the random weird musical number that will make your ears bleed) but all of these pale in comparison to the biggest flaws I listed above. Some people might actually like this film, but I personally suggest that you don't even give this painful movie a second glance before running for the hills.
1) Our "protagonists" are creepy latex and foam masked Cabbage Patch Kids rejects who do all sorts of rude and unsocial acts upon random citizens. The term "bad special effects" does not even begin to cover the creepiness of the Garbage Pail kids themselves, with creepy corpse-like eyes and gaping mouths. Their ugly physical appearances are matched by their horrible inner appearances, spending the entire movie stealing, looting, vandalizing vehicles, beating up random people in a bar, puking on people, and other such rude acts that would land any other person in jail (and these are the heroes).
2) This movie seriously piles on one unfunny potty-joke after another, making many people sick to their stomachs from all the gross-out humor. I'm sure some people might think it's *hilarious* to see random pedestrians being covered in projectile vomit or see the zit-covered nerdy Garbage Pail kid pee his pants for the twentieth time, but I personally find this humor WAY to nauseating for my tastes.
3) The message of the movie is SERIOUSLY contradictory to what we our shown, with the message being to not judge others on their physical appearances and to instead look at what is inside each person. The problem with this syrupy message is that the Garbage Pail kids prove that they are just as hideous on the inside as they are on the outside. So since when is stealing vehicles and being total jerks to random people considered "nice", or is it technically "okay" for them to act this way since they're a bunch of giant headed weirdos from a magic trash-can (seriously). It's so bad that they make the random bullies in the movie look like stereotypical cub-scouts who help elderly ladies cross the street.
There are other flaws with this movie (such as the bullies and their strange motivations or the random weird musical number that will make your ears bleed) but all of these pale in comparison to the biggest flaws I listed above. Some people might actually like this film, but I personally suggest that you don't even give this painful movie a second glance before running for the hills.
Lone Survivor
(2013)
A Gripping True Story of America's Bravest
23 January 2014
I walked into the movie theater not knowing what to expect, the trailers for the movie did not show much and I was unsure how well done the movie would be. I walked out of the theater amazed and moved, a stunning story about a SEAL team and what happened to them in the remote mountains of Afghanistan. Recently some critics have accused it of being "jingoistic war propaganda", though I honestly do not see how this could be considered as such. The movie is a straightforward tale of what happened when a mission took an unexpected turn, there are no heavy-handed pro-war speeches or messages other then what the viewer may project upon the film. I recommend that you give it a try, though some viewers may want to skip this movie if they are uneasy with graphic combat situations (definitely not for the weak of stomach).
Manos: The Hands of Fate
(1966)
So Insanely Bad It Is Good!
23 January 2014
This film is one of those rare films that is so over the top bad that it's actually good! Being filmed on a bunch of dismal sets out in the dessert with hardly any good lighting, the actors seem to stumble around blindly while trying their best to act. Special mention goes to the creepy Torgo character who talks as though he got his tongue burned on hot soup and stumbles around with oversized watermelons in his pant legs. From what I hear, the entire production was one disaster after another and they eventually had to have someone redub all the lines of the actors and actresses. I don't want to give too much away on the plot but this movie is definitely a Holy Grail of bad films, I highly recommend you give it a try.
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