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Denkriston
1. The Truman Show
2. Sphere
3. Back to the Future (the trilogy)
4. Brazil
5. Mystery Science Theater 3000: The Movie
6. Dr. Strangelove or: How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Bomb
7. Jurassic Park
8. The Shining
9. The Life Aquatic with Steve Zissou
10. O Brother, Where Art Thou?
Reviews
The Creeping Terror (1964)
Bad, bad, bad in every possible way
This film is incredible in that it fails on every possible level! I don't even know where to start, so I'll go down through the list:
-The Story:
There is none. An alien lands on Earth and starts eating people. There is a dumb, forced "twist" at the end. Also there are unexplained subplots that don't fit in to anything
-The Directing:
Long, drawn-out, pointless shots. Unbelievable locations. Out-of-place stock footage. I don't think anybody had any idea what this movie should have been.
-Acting:
I don't think there is any acting to speak of in this film. The performances are laughably bad and unengaging. The victims of the creature seem more bored than scared.
-Lighting:
I would not be surprised if this film had no budget for lighting. There are scenes where it's too dark to see what's happening.
-Special Effects:
The monster is hilariously cheap. It looks like two people dragging a patchwork of carpets around. It moves so slow that the victims all sit and scream as it slowly approaches. When it finally reaches them, since it has no means of grasping its victims, the actors CRAWL INSIDE OF THE MONSTER'S MOUTH. It is so utterly unconvincing. The only terror comes from the fact that the monster's devouring of people is shown in a way that comes off as oddly sexual.
-Dialogue:
Oh yeah, did I mention that half the dialogue is unintelligible or replaced with narration that summarizes what's being said?!
-Pacing:
There are many long, drawn-out scenes, most infamously the dance. There is one very long scene where middle-aged white people dance embarrassingly to flat, repetitive Jazz. Every once in awhile it cuts to the monster slowly approaching where this dance is taking place. There is a long scene of a mother giving her baby a rectal thermometer before she's devoured. Every scene is so ungripping!
This movie is absolutely, painfully, irredeemably, disgustingly awful! There is not one positive thing about it at all! One could easily call this the worst film ever made.
Ever.
Soultaker (1990)
A decent movie with a poor script
Soultaker is not as bad a film as some would make it out to be, but it is still not good. The directing is well-done, and I think one of the better areas of the film. Joe gives a good performance; all the other actors are decent, save for David Shark, who is sub-par.
The technical aspects of the film aren't bad. The dialogue is hackneyed at spots, but I think the biggest weakness of the film is its pacing. It starts out well; introducing the characters and setting up the premise, but hits its biggest snag halfway through. The film suddenly stagnates as the characters sit around a house. It appears to be trying to build tension, but instead it's boring and drawn-out. It then picks up the pace again but quickly loses it during the incredibly long hospital sequence at the end. By that time the audience has already figured out where the plot is going and it's all just stretched out to be exhaustingly long.
All in all, despite its clearly small budget, it's the underlying screenplay, not the technical aspects, that hurt this movie the most.