pthef Reviews

The Northman (2022)

Surreal

[5/10 · 1 May 2022]

This movie was like "Noah" or maybe "Midsommar" met and spawned a movie called "Northman." It was great actiion but the story often made no sense. Worth a watch but ... meh. I was onlay okay

PTH.

Greyhound (2020)

Could have been better

[6/10 · 19 July 2020]

This was a good movie about a convoy making the Atlantic crossing with war supplies. Tom Hanks stars in this as the captain of the Greyhound, a destroyer escorting the convoy as it is harassed by German wolf packs of U-boats. It was action-packed and really good special effects, but we know virtually nothing of Hanks' character, but that he is a bachelor and master of the Greyhound, and he prays frequently. And apparently eats sparingly. His character was bi-dimensional and that took away from my enjoyment of the movie and made it a bit too dry. Better than the train-wreck of a movie that was "Dunkirk" but ... take this one or leave it.

Knives Out (2019)

Best Hudunnit I've Seen In Ages

[9/10 · 30 December 2019]

This movie was a twisted and charming wreck from start to finish, an investigation into the purported suicide of the patriarch of a family that was otherwise a den of vipers. Daniel Craig was delightful as a Kentucky Fried Private Investigator and I cracked up at his performance. It's full of dark humor in and among all kinds of twists and turns on the way to the explosive conclusion. And I don't think the butler did it LOL

Richard Jewell (2019)

From Zero to Hero to Zero Again

[9/10 · 30 December 2019]

As he's always done, Clint Eastwood delivers a brilliant depiction of the actual tragic events as the FBI and the press conspired to wreck the life of an American hero. I understand the Atlanta Journal Constitution objected vociferously to the depiction of the head of their lynch mob, Kathy Scruggs, prostituting herself to the FBI (hereafter feebs) to get their pack of lies regarding Mr. Jewell. But who seriously believes she got that information on her feet rather than on her back?

To me, the movie was a good illustration of a phenomenon we've seen time after time before and since these tragic events, the press exercising its First Amendment rights while accepting nor exercising one whit of responsibility in their pursuit. And a good illustration of a too-powerful and corrupted FBI that needs a far tighter leash before using its power to destroy an innocent man.

BRAVO, Clint Eastwood!

Us (II) (2019)

Really good ... AND ORIGINAL!

[9/10 · 29 March 2019]

Jordan Peele has rewritten the suspense genre, first with "Get Out" and now with "Us," proving he's no flash in the pan. This movie was really well-done and props to Lupita Nyong'o for her utterly amazing dual roles of soccer mom and doppelganger, as well as flipping the switch from soccer mom to savage like she has a habit of it.

I don't want to spoil it, but I highly recommend this to anyone who's a horror/suspense fan!

The Upside (2017)

Really good!

[8/10 · 15 February 2019]

Just home from seeing this "based on a true story" movie about Phillip, a wealthy paraplegic (Cranston) needing a caretaker. A parolee Dell (Hart), shows up, not wanting job but needing signatures to show he's "looking" for a job, thinking mistakenly that it's a janitorial job. He doesn't want the job and his PA (Nicole Kidman) despises Dell. But Phillip and Dell begin to bond, and Dell, unreformed in prison, begins to reform, begins to have a hope and a purpose, while Phillip, wanting just to die, begins to live. I thought it was really good, and a good departure for Kevin Hart from comedy into drama, or perhaps dromedy. It's worth your while!

PH

Alita: Battle Angel (2019)

Good movie!

[8/10 · 15 February 2019]

Went to see this movie earlier this evening. Parts of it reminded me of the dystopian classic "Rollerball," but with really good special effects. The big-eyed anime worked to give this movie flavor. I genuinely enjoyed this, a classic good-vs.-evil dystopian sci-fi with the door left wide-open for a sequel that I'll be certain to watch. Rodriguez did a great job of this one, but I expected no less of him. Was fun seeing Christoph Waltz (who was soooo evil in "Inglorious Basterds") as a benevolent and loving figure. It's worth the time to go see it, through and through.

PH

Bumblebee (I) (2018)

A Delightful Surprise

[8/10 · 2 January 2019]

Took my son to see this yesterday because he wanted to see it and I figured it would get me out of the house for a couple of hours. I was delighted with this movie, as I didn't expect to be. It is sci-fi action-adventure and does this quite well, which was not unexpected. But it was also charming and a great musical retrospective of the '80s. Bumblebee was something between an exuberant puppy and a mischievous little boy, as his human, a girl named Charlie, a tomboy and gear-head of a girl, is assisted through her grief in the love and caring they give to one another. The movie delighted us, and we took my wife tonight to see it again, and she was likewise charmed. Don't miss this movie. Bumblebee set the bar for the Transformers movies to follow!

Mary Poppins Returns (2018)

Bleh

[4/10 · 24 December 2018]

This movie was a stinker, from start to finish, a reboot (with new lyrics and songs) of the original stink-bomb. The special effects, which I guess were meant to be a charming throwback, were just cheap and cheesy. In short, I think the (ahem) "creators" at Disney just said "we're out of ideas so let's counterfeit this recycled piece of garbage and voila! Our Christmas bonuses are saved!" Unless you're a hopeless masochist or in love with the tripe that is Mary Poppins (who seemed rather creepy), save your money and see a good movie instead. This one was horrid.

Spider-Man: Into the Spider-Verse (2018)

Meh

[4/10 · 17 December 2018]

This should have been a better movie, but simply wasn't. It was lame, frankly. My 9-year-old liked it better than I did, truth be known. Animation and all was okay but the storyline was nonsense. There was a nice animated sendup of a rather funnily creepy Stan Lee in it. It had its moments,but was mostly a failure. Long and short, it was like they made a movie just to make a movie and the entertainment value was about like the nutritional value of celery. Take or leave it.

Instant Family (2018)

Far Better than Expected

[8/10 · 10 December 2018]

We saw this movie yesterday, mainly on the basis that our son was tickled by the trailers. I went without high expectations, expecting the basic fluff of most comedies, but that was okay. When you have a kid, you take one for the team quite often, right? So this magnificent movie was a delightful surprise, masterfully weaving the comedic and dramatic, the gamut of emotions, as a couple adopts three kids, two girls and a boy, the eldest girl 14 years old and soon to demonstrate all the angst, anger, and rebellion typical of that age set, a true nightmare child as the parents do their best to build bridges to her. The middle child, the boy, was sweet and charming but an accident waiting to happen. The youngest, a girl, by turns adorable and a hell-child of zero self-control. In and among were blended the several stories of other foster parents and the trials and tribulations of the children they'd taken in, woven with a fun send-up of "The Blind Side," a wealthy woman only wanting an athletic black son who would follow in the footsteps of Michael Oher. Many times throughout, I bellowed out laughter. Other times, I wanted to reach into the screen and slap some sense into some of this. And result: I was downright delighted with this magnificent movie.

Bohemian Rhapsody (2018)

Completely. Blown. Away.

[10/10 · 3 November 2018]

This movie was entirely brilliant, a magnificent biopic on the life of Freddy Mercury from his youth at around 18 through the appearance of Queen at the Live Aid concert at Wembley Stadium. It was sometimes not at all sympathetic, depicting his arrogance and poor decisions in and among his legendary talent as a musician. This is the only time I have ever come to IMDB and gave a movie all ten stars, and I swear, Bohemian Rhapsody deserves twenty. Go see this movie!

Smallfoot (2018)

Tremendous Movie!

[8/10 · 30 September 2018]

Granted that I've spent six months being charmed by the trailers, I went to see this movie today with high expectations, expectations this movie still exceeded. It was hilarious. But it also carried deeper messages about questioning reality when the facts no longer fit the suppositions.

We start with Migo (the starring Yeti LOL) and a misadventure that finds him witnessing an airplane crash. A "smallfoot" parachutes to the ground and Migo and the smallfoot are terrified of one another until wind fills the man's parachute and lifts him away to land far lower down the mountain. Migo rushes to his village to report what he's seen, and the Stonekeeper (more or less their lawgiver and king) says Smallfoot doesn't exist, and, by the way, you're exiled, Migo.

Migo is enlisted by other young rebellious yetis who believe in smallfoot and other things against the established order. Another misadventure soon after finds Migo encountering a human named Percy, somewhat of a weasel seeking a return to fame and glory. And the adventures and misadventures continue ...

I howled laughing at several points of this movie, including a magnificent send-up of Roadrunner/Coyote and poor Wile E.'s misfortunes LOL

Go see this movie. Now!

PTH

A Quiet Place (2018)

Something NEW

[8/10 · 17 April 2018]

Finally, a new kind of a horror/suspense/sci-fi movie from Hollywood. YAY. There is virtually no dialog as a human family hides in silence from a species of ... whatever they are ... that hunt and kill humans. The species seems devoid of weaknesses except they are blind and hunt by sound, so humanity's best chance is silence. With the adults, hey, not a big problem. With children, uh, not so much. The movie opens with what was shown in the trailer, with a little boy activating sound on a toy space shuttle, and dying when a predator attacks. The family struggles to survive in utter or near-silence amidst cornfields and woods in a rural place. It's not a concept I've seen used before. VERY good movie and if you're into the genre, well worth buying a ticket.

PTH

Pacific Rim: Uprising (2018)

Okay, for what it is

[6/10 · 23 March 2018]

Went and saw this one a few hours ago. As a sequel, it was okay. It honestly is an updated version of the venerable Japanese monster movies and probably will make that cult following happy. It could have been much better. But I've seen far, far worse (yes, I'm looking at you, Transformers). If you're into that genre or the action-adventure-scifi thing, it's worth going to see, but this movie is zero threat, not even a dark horse, for an Oscar.

Justice League (2017)

Not a bad flick

[7/10 · 19 November 2017]

I'll begin this by saying I came to see this with mixed expectations. Do I love Gal Gadot more as Wonder Woman than I despise Ben Affleck as Batman? After all, "Dawn of Justice" was an horrendous movie, maybe the worst superhero flick I was ever forced to endure, but Gal Gadot's Wonder Woman almost saved that one in spite of Affleck's poor attempts to be the Dark Knight, right?

To be honest, Affleck douched less this time around, and Gadot was the utter hot badass we've all come to know and love. Flash was really fun and much-needed comic relief among all the badasssery oozing from everyone else. All in all, this was a good movie, better than anticipated, but I'd still contend that Affleck needs to be replaced. He's just not the right guy to be Batman. 7 Stars.

The Mountain Between Us (2017)

Great movie

[7/10 · 27 October 2017]

What can I say? I really liked this movie of two disparate strangers suddenly cast into a crisis where they are entirely dependent on one another for survival and to get to safety. Elba and Winslet performed magnificently in this movie about the rigors of surviving in the mountainous winter wilds when their pilot has the poor manners to die of a heart attack and crash their plane. It was really tacky of him. The dog, unnamed throughout, really deserves an Academy Award too. I don't want to give away spoilers, so I won't, but it's not only a movie about them surviving, but a movie about what these two find inside themselves to hold onto. Wonderfully done, but (I know the movie ran a bit long by today's standards) they really should've fleshed out more than they did in the last half-hour of this one. It's well worth the time to see it!

PTH

Mother! (2017)

A Bad Story, Poorly Told

[2/10 · 21 September 2017]

In a word: Awful. This movie was just two hours I'll never get back. Because I think all four of the main actors are highly talented, I'm left but to blame the director for this film, which seemed to be two hours of used toilet paper. It was weird that nobody had names, NOBODY. I figured, well, okay, but that sure makes it hard to grow an attachment to anyone in it. It was just weird crap of Jennifer Lawrence having weird visions or premonitions. Suddenly, Ed Harris shows up behaving more or less like a lout, although Javier Bardem warmly welcomes him. Even though there's zero cellular reception, Michelle Pfeiffer (Ed Harris' wife) shows up the next day and walks right in like she owns the place. Soon after, Harris and Pfeiffer's sons come barging in and get into a violent fight in which one is beaten to death while the other flees. Bardem traipses out, leaving Lawrence in the house all alone with a murderer in the wind, and that night the house is invaded with a dozen more people, arriving out of nowhere to share in the grief of Harris and Pfeiffer over the Cain-and-Abel moment of one son killing the other. I guess I shouldn't give much more away here. Suffice it to say this movie utterly sucks. Keep your money in your pocket.

The Hitman's Bodyguard (2017)

Magnificent

[8/10 · 19 August 2017]

I downright loved this movie when I saw it yesterday. Indeed, I cackled at it. I figured with two really strong comedic talents, they were either about to lay a stink-bomb on us, or be brilliant together. Well, they were brilliant, playing off one another like they'd been doing it all their lives. Darius Kincaid (Jackson), a hit-man, is to present evidence at The Hague of war crimes committed by the president of Belarus. Interpol has been compromised in attempts to assassinate him. So the Interpol agent saddled with him calls in her ex-boyfriend, Michael Bryce (Reynolds) to take charge of Kincaid to get him to The Hague to testify. They hate one another, but have to rely on one another, and do so most hilariously. Y'all see this movie!

The Shack (I) (2017)

Ugh

[3/10 · 23 July 2017]

This is a very emotional movie about a man deeply tormented over the death of his daughter and the wreckage to his guilt-ridden family. At times, I wept. I've heard some holy rollers howling in outrage about Octavia Spencer playing the role of God, but I took no issue with that. After all, without a physical presence, I suppose God can choose to present as anything, so no big. Besides, Ms. Spencer is a talented actress and I like her.

My issue with the movie, my dislike of it, is that it's really a long and rambling apologist movie that attempts to gloss over deific indifference by saying God loves us (they really shove that up the viewers' collective nose) ad infinitum and ad nauseum. But trying to tell a loving father he has no right to his anger over the murder of his daughter? Uh, no, not so much. Again, this movie was lost on me, a complete fail.

Dunkirk (2017)

Save your money

[2/10 · 23 July 2017]

I love war movies, I downright love them, so I went to see this recently with high expectations. Those expectations were soon dashed against a rock. This movie ... it tried to tell three stories, but told all three stories poorly. Everyone in it was two-dimensional, and it was impossible to feel a connection with any character, not even the one played by the ordinarily brilliant Thespian Kenneth Branagh. It was like the entire cast, including Branagh, were an assembly of extras. There was precious little dialog, and this movie was an utter stink bomb. This could have been a brilliant movie. Indeed, it should have been a brilliant movie. All the elements were there for a brilliant movie, but it was about like going to a ball game and someone runs the bases backward, an epic fail.

Alien: Covenant (2017)

Just save money and watch the trailer

[3/10 · 25 May 2017]

In short, the movie has good special effects, one good (if brief) fight scene, and one hell of a lot of human stupidity. The crew of a long- range space flight to colonize a habitable planet is wakened seven years early due to an emergency that requires repairs. Suddenly (GASP!) they discover an uncharted planet in the habitable zone and the captain decides to investigate and learn if they can colonize this place instead. I mean, what could possibly go wrong, huh? Oh yeah, that's right, alien spores. So predictable that you could set your watch by this thing. Don't waste your time on this one.

When the Bough Breaks (2016)

A Good Movie

[8/10 · 28 September 2016]

This movie is, I believe, a remake of "The Hand That Rocks the Cradle" from 1992. At least, a similar set of elements comes up in both movies, this time with a black cast rather than white. One way or another, it was a good movie, full of suspenseful points, and the acting was good. I liked it.

John and Laura Taylor cannot conceive a child, despite having made all efforts, and have resorted to hiring a surrogate mother, who is sweet (and seriously cute) and generally easy to like and love, a girl named Anna Walsh. But Anna isn't all she seems to be, living an unstable life and hiding her own deep and dark secrets as she develops inappropriate feelings for John, and her obsession with him turns dangerous and violent. What happens next? Buy a ticket and see the movie. LOL

PH

Fifty Shades of Grey (2015)

Disappointing

[3/10 · 13 February 2015]

I went to see this without any particular expectations. I heard the sound and fury all over the social media from fans who loved the book to people saying it was all about rape and abuse. I saw it, ironically, in that grey area. It starts out (and continues through much of the movie) with some romantic-comedy elements, funny parts that a couple times had me laughing aloud. But it was also, in many ways, formulaic. How many times do we need to tell the story of Prince Charming romancing the pauper girl, after all? I think we all saw "Pretty Woman" in the ago. We all read and/or saw "Cinderella." It's been done too many times. Come up with something fresh already, for God's sake.

Now, I didn't see anything I would fairly call "abuse" in the movie. There were several sex scenes in it, a few spankings, and a lot of teasing. Christian was going on all the time about her consent and I don't recall an event of him treating with her outside her consent, which she always gave him. Anastasia was, pardon my French, prick-teasing Christian throughout the movie, and Christian was trying to purchase her affections. I'll also say the whole sub-theme of anyone with alternative sexual predilections being portrayed as psychotics or trauma-mommas is also overdone, and it misleads people about what's honestly a big segment of peoples' sexuality, and I find that hatred of S&M practitioners to be prejudiced and sad. I won't spoil the movie for those wanting to see it, but it ends, I thought, with Anastasia being the emotionally abusive one, and as the final credits rolled, I decided I had fondness for neither character, thinking they deserved one another so nobody else had to be saddled with them. They were both bleeding assholes earning none of my empathy. In all, FSOG tried and failed. Save your money and see something else.