creedrock2003 Reviews

RV (2006)

Done-Before and Done-Before

[1/10 · 2 August 2007]

I won't say it was the worst movie ever, but this was written for the REAL, REAL simple to enjoy. If you've not watched TV sitcoms or any other movie in the past 30 years, you'll find this movie refreshing and original (has anyone seen National Lampoon's Vacation?). The theme (middle aged dad loses touch with his family and sets out on a trip to unite them, with calamity at every turn), has been done almost annually in Hollywood in one form or another. I won't criticize the movie for it's potty jokes or lack of insightful humor, or groan-inducing one-liners, but I will pan it for it's 100% lack of any originality. Especially the self-serving last 15 minutes which were a cookie-cutter version of any "life-realization" moment, with our hero delivering his big speech to his business colleagues (and, of course, his money-only-minded boss) where he chastises them for being all about business and not LOVE and family.....puke-inducing, patronizing, and done-before to exhaustion. Complete with family grouped together in the corner in a perfect photo-op portrait pose, this speech can be seen coming for miles. Guess what? He ends up quitting his job, BUT the other guys (Ben and Jerry-type hippie jillionaires)in attendance from the other company want to hire him on the spot for sharing their vision of a world where business doesn't do business....it makes LOVE grow. I have to go toss my cookies now.

Airplane! (1980)

Forever #1

[10/10 · 12 May 2006]

STILL the funniest comedy ever made and still holds up after over 25 years! This movie changed so many things about comedy in film. The two starring actors weren't even part of the jokes for over half the film, background voices became hysterical additions to the foreground dialogue, and barrages of purely visual gags would hit the viewer in rapid-fire fashion. This spoof of 70's airport dramas has given birth to The Police Squad series, which ranks right behind Airplane and Airplane 2 as the funniest films ever made. Just sit back, relax and don't worry about engaging your brain too much...revert, not to childhood, but to a period between then and your adult years, and enjoy! It's clever and silly and it makes you laugh. The best comedy ever.

School of Rock (2003)

Black Attack!

[8/10 · 18 April 2006]

I'm not a big fan of Jack Black, but by all insider accounts, the guy is actually like this in real life....completely nuts and a rock'n'roll fanatic. That's what makes this movie so great to watch. The movie is Jack Black being Jack Black and he's funny and clever and seems, at times, to be riding on the edge of sanity, about to fall off and have a convulsive fit on the ground. Great movie to watch with the kids or anyone of any age. It has it's fair share of clichés, but in the end, it's not what you think. It's got tons for everyone to enjoy, and if you happen to be a raging rock and roll fan, this movie is right up your alley! Don't fear it, embrace it, watch it, laugh, and enjoy the warm-heart it carries. The kids in it are great, and Jack Black "acts" in a role that may define his career.

The Woodsman (2004)

Well Executed Film About Tough Subject

[8/10 · 27 March 2006]

It is rare to see a Hollywood movie take on a topic like pedophilia, without knocking the audience over the head with some kind of moral lesson or "justice" for the villain in the end. Our "villain" here is also our protagonist, and the study of the lead character (Walter, portrayed perfectly by Kevin Bacon) is unflinching and disturbing. At no point is Walter portrayed as heroic or "cured" of his past lifestyle and urges. He serves his prison time on conviction of sexual misconduct with minors and our story takes up upon his release. Walter moves into an apartment right across from a schoolyard (Walter claims that this was the only landlord who would take him in). He battles his demons with some success, and some failure. He begins to keep a diary of his daily life, and we see glimpses of the darkness he is struggling with. We learn that he is just as capable of acting on his demons now, as he was before he went to jail. In this film, we don't find Walter triumphing or suffering "cosmic justice" over his past, just a study of a man and his struggle with his life after jail. The film does not ask us to sympathize with Walter, nor does it ask us to root for him...it simply tells his story. There is a scene in the park that is powerful and gripping, and blends elements we see throughout the movie. Definitely a movie to see and think about for long after you've watched. Bacon is excellent and should've been considered for a lead actor nomination by the Academy. Mos Def is not a distraction and performs well. Kyra Sedgwick is also very good. See it on a night when you are ready for strong drama, and thought-provoking intelligent movie-making.

Dave Chappelle's Block Party (2005)

Very Disappointing

[3/10 · 6 March 2006]

I have no idea how this movie is garnering positive reviews. Maybe critics are afraid of earning a racist label for panning this movie, but I was astonished at how bad this movie was. For those thinking of seeing it, it's about 15 minutes of Chapelle and the entire rest of the movie is footage of the block party where rappers are performing. That's it! That's the movie...about 70 minutes of rappers singing...nothing extra, no humorous interactions, no quirky likable characters. The movie is funny when Chappelle is onsreen improvising his humor on people he meets. Howver, there is not nearly enough of that interaction to make this film watchable and much less, enjoyable. Chappelle invites some odd characters to the party at the beginning and we are excited to see how they will interact with the rest of the audience, BUT WE NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN IN THE MOVIE until it's almost over and they just say it was "nice". I laughed about three times during the whole movie...when Chappelle was on screen. The rest was a bunch of crappy rap music (Yeaaaa-yah!!!, What?, Ugh!, Ugh!) and people jumping around on stage. There was a racist slur used over and over in one song and I was made very uncomofortable by it's use. Very dispapointing, and not even a good concert flick at that. Unless you are a gigantic fan of rap, stay home and pop in Chapelle Show season 2 and laugh your butt off. I'm not sure what is being presented here...a music concert movie? Not even as a concert movie is this worth watching.

The Shawshank Redemption (1994)

A Masterpiece

[10/10 · 31 January 2006]

For it's subtlety, it's intelligence, and it's gorgeous cinematography (often overlooked in this film), this is one of the finest films ever made. Robbins and Freeman are brilliant. The rest of the cast flows through the storyline with a poise and cadence that is flawless. The story itself is based on a short work by Stephen King, but the screenplay is sculpted perfectly and gently into a full-length film by Frank Darabont. A powerful story of one man's journey through a punishment he did not deserve, and "redemption" of soul that lifts the hearts of viewers. It reminds us that "hope is a good thing, maybe the best of things". Gentle and supremely smart.

Independence Day (1996)

The President Flies a Fighter Plane at Alien Spaceship

[1/10 · 23 April 2005]

If this alternate title had been chosen, I would've avoided the loss of two hours of my life and had an extra $9 in my pocket. If you set aside the fact that the aliens in this movie use Macintosh-based computer systems, the Prez hops into a fighter jet AS THE PILOT, and Will Smith punches an alien unconscious in his downed spaceship...this movie is still horrible. Aliens come to earth to sap it of it's resources,a nd to accomplish this, of course, the aliens have to destroy earth's inhabitants. The enormous spaceships gather above major cities around the globe and WAIT THERE DOING NOTHING FOR DAYS. Then, they start to blow up stuff we recognize (not military targets, just useless tourist attractions that will make us sad). Does blowing up hte White House really accomplish anything? Does it terrify Earth's inabitants? the giant spaceships do that just fine. How about attacking military installations capable of fighting back? They can't be stopped...or can they? What's next?...Not Six Flags over Nebraska!?!?!?!

The solution to Earth's dilemma lies in the Apple Corporation's operating system for home-based computing. Simply walk into an Apple store, grab a Powerbook, fly into the enemy spaceship (how, you ask?....naturally by piloting one of their spacecraft 200 years ahead of earth technology on your first try), mess with their hard drives using an earth laptop computer (I'm not kidding), and wham-o!!!...Aliens start dropping like flies! Not an ounce of creativity, or originality, or brain-power was used in writing this drivel. I enjoyed all the stereo-typical characters brought together to fight...the drunken former pilot, the hotshot young stud pilot, the computer geek, the kid, and the most powerful man we gots...the PRESIDENT OF THE US... YEAH BABY!!!It plays like a 10 year-old's idea of "a really cool thing that happened once." Horrible. Don't see it.

Twister (I) (1996)

Dreadful

[1/10 · 23 April 2005]

This was truly a horrid example of Hollywood trying to make a blockbuster without heart or attention to storyline. Every moment of this film is an effort toward making a "spectacular", and not a moment is spent making film. Highlights include, a cow getting swept past a truck that is not swept up by the same wind, "evil" storm chasers in black trucks (yes, evil and in black trucks) who are "in it for the money" (what money?!??!), and a silly scene where apparently, you can run inches ahead of an F5 tornado ("The Finger of God")and suffer no harm. The writers make tornadoes into intelligent evil entities bent on destroying and killing...instead of just violent weather that is hard to predict. One scene has our heroes chased by a tornado, seemingly out to get them in an almost Three Stooges-type sequence where nothing goes right in their efforts to escape. It's silly, contrived, and the special effects aren't enough to make this watchable (I've no idea how people can enjoy a movie only for it's special effects). Trucks get thrown, houses explode, and cows float by...producers thought this would be enough for the "mindless masses" to fork over $9 at the box office. I was one of the suckers that did! Unless you are mindless, don't watch.

Cop Land (1997)

Surprisingly good..and Stallone shines!

[8/10 · 22 April 2005]

Gritty and tough, this movie has solid acting, lots of star-power (Keitel, DeNiro, Stallone, Liotta), and a good script. Set in a small town just across the Hudson River from Manhattan, Garrison, NJ is a fictional town inhabited by a large population of NYPD officers. This is no accident...Keitel's character has orchestrated this migration in order to keep a strong circle of like-minded (and crooked) cops all within close proximity of each other. The small town is aptly dubbed "Copland" and while the town has practically zero percent crime, it is also becomes a breeding ground for corrupt police activity. Stallone plays the slightly "slow" local Sheriff of Garrison, NJ, whose job it is to look like the authority in town and look the other way when cops behave badly. I won't divulge the plot-line, but it is a well-written drama with a good climax. Stallone does an excellent job, leaving his bare-chested antics to his more silly scripts, and trading them in for good, low-key confident acting. He holds your attention when it's just him on screen, and he doesn't even have to show his oiled chest to do it! In fact, he gained a substantial amount of weight just for the role. Rent it if you want a solid drama with a great ensemble cast of Hollywood heavyweights all working nicely together...you'll enjoy it.