machngunjoe Reviews

Harry & Meghan (2022)

Ignore the spammed negative reviews: it's apart of the problem

[10/10 · 25 December 2022]

This is a good documentary, but it is really a couple telling their story of how an institution and the media feed off of each other, how toxic it can get, and the collateral damage that ensues.

British and American media giants bullying and ripping families apart in order to make millionaires more money. It's a sad truth. The show also illustrates how "hate" is a commodity on the internet and by proxy the news outlets that generate income from "clicks".

This documentary also shows how the commonwealth is mostly underrepresented. Regardless how true each conversation went the message is clear in this series.

Just ignore the really clear negative spam reviews (which basically validated the couples argument) and watch it for yourself.

The Batman (2022)

strong, brutal, grounded detective noir pushes the right buttons

[8/10 · 10 March 2022]

8/10

It's the most grounded, often brutal, detective film noir of the Batman Series and I loved this movie. It's not my favorite Batman movie, but given the seriously stellar cast, the low tech aspects they mixed in with the usual high tech equipment we see in Batman movies these days, it's in my top 3. I really enjoyed the low tech approaches they implemented such as the Batcar, the Batbike. I thought that made the film different from the others, which they needed to do, (please Zack Snyder stop making Christopher Nolan super hero films).

Robert Pattinson, is honestly one of the best leading men of our time and I love how low-key he is and the fact he started it all with Twilight (which I have seen all of them, while getting high off of night time Alka-Seltzer in an attempt to get over a cold I had), makes his career that more impressive. Robert Pattinson can effectively erase twilight from his resume now.

He does so many good movies in the past five years a lot of low budget art house movies that got almost no play but you can find them on Netflix and Hulu, they are truly amazing.

Cat woman was good, not great, the villain was super intelligent but I don't know, maybe too weirdo than it needed to be. And did you know Collin Ferrell was in this? You won't recognize him. I swear to god I thought Bobby De Niro was in this playing the penguin.

Heathers (1988)

Mean Girls but Rated R and much better

[7/10 · 27 November 2021]

Mean Girls, but rated R, made in 88, and made as though it was directed by the guy who made Robocop, Basic Instinct and Starship Trooper. Perfectly encapsulated the cliques and worthlessness of such cliques in High School

The small details is what made this movie so great. The preacher blaming kids for watching the "MTV Video Games", the superficial girl fixing her hair with the churches holy water at a funeral, the cops who are just movie clichés, the over liberalized English teacher and the quick not-so-aged-well one liners by Christian Slater; " seven schools in seven states in the only thing different is my locker combination". Slater using the burned skin to lite his cigarette.

Can't say I liked the cow tipping scene though, I had forgotten people actually do that.

Funny how this was back in the day where the other "F" word gets used so regularly. Different times but the message regarding high school is still the same.

7/10.

Pig (I) (2021)

John Wick but it's a PIG! PSYYYYYCHE!

[7/10 · 2 September 2021]

Pig 7/10 and I debated giving this a 8/10.

Nicholas Cage is a great actor and it is very easy to forget that these days with a movie of his coming out seemingly every week and usually not of the highest value. More to the point is the last movie Nicholas Cage made before "Pig (2021)" Willy's Wonderland, a movie I would recommend far less than Pig; Pig is actually a great movie.

It's a sad movie, a somber movie. A movie about loss, other people's expectations and being afraid to face your own pain. The movie is perfectly paced at 91 minutes and breaks the film down, literally, into 3 parts. It never lingers to long in a scene and keeps you guessing at the right moments. The actual pig in the movie is a metaphor but also a straight and narrow plot device moving the narrative along. I mentioned earlier that the movie is sad, but thanks to the exceptional pacing the movie is not miserable.

Watching the trailer for Pig having it star Nicolas Cage coupled with the tagline "I'm looking for a truffle pig" with ominous music makes you think you are about to watch the Nicolas Cage version of John Wick, but instead of a dog being the revenge plot it's a pig! You will be pleasantly surprised that the movie didn't fall for the pitfalls of action tropes and instead of a movie excreting a bunch of feeling, it's just a movie that makes you feel.

Streets of Fire (1984)

Cult classic stylized Noir with a touch of early 90's video game

[8/10 · 13 August 2021]

This movie inspired so many videos games such as Fists of Fury and Streets of Rage, basically any game that a girlfriend was taken in the beginning and the main hero's beat up a town of thugs to get her back.

This movie upon reviewing is indeed a cult classic. The beginning is very very 80's with a 18 year old Diane Lane in a music video of sorts but the whole movie is incredibly unique and highly stylized. The setting reminds me of Dark City, a sort of 1950's mixed with future mixed with a time and world that you can't really place. If you have seen the Warriors this movie is like that in that it has very specific gangs that have their own uniforms, like you would see in a video game.

It has a young Willem Dafoe as the main villain, a young Diane Lane at 18 that already at that age had more experience acting than anyone else. And a Rick Moranis playing a sleeze guy role.

The Green Knight (2021)

An interesting, thought provoking fairytale with adult themes

[7/10 · 1 August 2021]

It's a fairytale about finding your courage, and how life will throw distractions and people to throw you off your quest. It is not a Michael Bay action packed sword swinging Fast n Furious movie. Open mouth breathers beware!

Visually stunning and well imagined. Interesting choices with camera angles, light and camera pans. In fact, the director uses this to tell some of the story rather than words. I don't think it true to the original text and that is just fine, it probably shouldn't be.

The last 15 minutes was leading towards a direction that was about to lose me but it kind of did a choose your own adventure part there to show you what could be, and that brought me back and capped the whole story off with a proper cherry on top.

Wonderful acting all around, beautiful to look at, every frame could be a piece of art. Great music.

Raw (2016)

It's hard to take your eyes off from watch this great film

[8/10 · 24 July 2021]

I saw a French film this week that the director of won Cannes this year for her film Titane. So I decided to watch her earlier work, Raw.

Raw is a coming of age film of a young woman whose family carries a secret to their genuineness of being a veterinarian. The youngest child is the last in her family to go to college where you discover yourself, your sexuality and other...preferences. It's hard to say anything about the film because this movie like so many, it is best to just go in and watch it not knowing anything about it. Let the story hit you as a complete surprise. I have been reviewing a lot of movies lately and this one gets the highest rating 8/10.

The direction was phenomenal, the acting by the lead girl who is in just about every single frame of the movie was extremely good, so much so she has made me a fan of her work.

If you are just bored out of your mind with all the garbage that comes from Hollywood these days with their robotic formula they use to create a "hit" movie to make a billion dollars, watch Raw!

Beyond the Black Rainbow (2010)

Super weird, Disturbing, and intriguing

[6/10 · 23 July 2021]

I saw Beyond the Black Rainbow. The first of two Panos Cosmotos films. His films are basically LSD trips. That is to say that his films have a strong 70's color infused psychedelic look and feel. His films usually deal with the idea of forces of dark and light opposing each other. This film like his other "Mandy" have to do with mind expanding drugs being taken by the characters.

Beyond the Black Rainbow looks at company's attempt to conduct psychological experiments with one promising subject in mind all through the Kubrickian lens within the Regan era.

Panos Cosmotos uses lo-fi film grade, odd camera angles, 80's synth sound, and eternal pauses in dialog and action to set the tone for a movie you will jot soon forget.

I'm not sure I could tell you what the story was about than what I just said, so again, his story is a little light on plot. But that's just fine.

Mandy (I) (2018)

It's unique and entertaining, it's worth a watch

[7/10 · 23 July 2021]

I saw Mandy last night. Nicholas Cage is reborn in my view. This movie was a definite trippy type movie. Maybe the best shot film, best cinematography I have seen in a long time. It lacked a little on story but that's totally ok. The whole movie was bathed in red and it looked glorious! The directors name is Panos Cosmotos so ya, gotta be a crazy movie if that's the directors name.

Movie includes: Jesus freaks on LSD Hellraiser type villians Full frontal male nudity by Batman's (why do we fall) Dad, followed by ridicule The color red A proper chainsaw fight The most bad ass axe I've ever seen Bill Duke being another bad ass And a scene that Nicholas Cage gives with a bottle of vodka that is not to be missed.

The Undoing (2020)

Stupid Rich People - The Movie

[4/10 · 18 March 2021]

This movies story plays a little bit like Gone Girl. It's barely a whodunit. The whole time you know who did the murder.

So there is no climax with that, the rating acting is ok, it's decent the the screenplay doesn't do much for the actors to work with. Hugh Grant is about as you would expect. Much has been said about Kidman and her face. All I can say is her lips especially her upper lip and how it doesn't seem to move at all was so damn distracting. You can tell she was executive producer. She is wearing the most immaculate clothes. But her damn mouth is just distracting she looks like a little expensive doll. Also her red eyes are also very distracting. Get some Visine.

The court room drama was very weak. Not even up to the standards of Law and Order. I was really disappointed in the Prosecutors side.

But how people act in certain situations is baffling to me. Kidman is radically aggressive with the police from the beginning and I was left wondering what the Hell is a matter with her. The kid appears to be the smartest person in the show up until episode 5&6. How Hugh Grant acted in the last couple minutes was dumb.

Episode 6 was complete Bullcrap. It was entirely predictable and the series was not apologetic with its predictability. The big bombshell moment was anti-climactic. And what you thought all along was what happened.

But the last 10 minutes is just going to make you mad. I can't believe how they ended it!!!

Donald Sutherland had one really good scene

Peaky Blinders (2013–2022)

Fairly good show especially, if you're a Brit

[6/10 · 20 February 2021]

I feel like this show is made for people who grew up knowing this history in Birmingham and knew of the Peaky Blinders. A great cast of characters, wonderful acting a fairly good story telling and writing, and directing.

I give this a 6/10 because this is yet another typical gangster type show with all the usual tropes. Love interest that may or may not be the cause that could bring the whole operation down. Guys running around acting like gangsters, being tough guys. Behavior you have seen 100 times in every gangster movie. Very predictable.

The music of the show is incredibly mid-placed excusing the opening credits score. But the music ranges around punk rock for a 1910-1920's show? Misplaced indeed.

The cinematography may be intentional in how dark everything is but this may be the ugliest show I have ever seen. Everything is grey, black, white. Everything is dirty. Makes me think it must have sucked growing up then.

Cillian Murphy really carries the show along with all the part time stars that come in. Sam Neil is very good as well.

I took me until episode 5 season 1 to start liking it. But it did indeed get better. Overall if Cillian Murphy wasn't in this I probably wouldn't be watching it.

Bill Burr: Paper Tiger (2019 TV Special)

I love Bill Burr's comedy but....

[4/10 · 8 February 2020]

Bill Burr just seemed angry at PC culture in this one. The whole segment was basically attacking women bitching, moaning, and whining.

I have reservations too about excessive PC culture but I didn't really see him telling jokes he just seemed to rant about women. It didn't seems like he was telling jokes.

I'd rather see him address the issues he is upset about but make a structured joke that makes us think. I basically love everything else he has done but I was disappointed with this.

Twin Peaks (1990–1991)

Daytime Soap opera satire and the trash we all want

[8/10 · 13 December 2019]

So I finished this series last night for the first time, having grown up during the hype of "who killed Laura Palmer?" and the cult hit it became years later.

If you have watched a David Lynch film well then you know what you are getting into. I think it is amazing that David Lynch was broadcast in the square bear years of 1990 on network Television. It's actually a bizarre miracle, so for this reason I give this series higher marks.

Season one is amazing and worth a watch. It will leave you guessing for what is to come in season two. Except studio executives had dollar signs in their eyes on a jackpot murder mystery that had the world captivated, yes the world. It is reported that at one time Mikal Gorbachev asked George H W Bush on the phone "who killed Laura Palmer?" and demanded an answer.

It's subtle but constant satire of daytime soap operas make this series a consumable show at the same time saying something important about society.

I would bare through or just skip entirely episodes 10-17 of season two and pick it up there, or as I said just deal with the decrease in quality because studio executives couldn't leave well enough alone.

The last episode of Season two is considered David Lynch's best and I consider a classic.

Under the Silver Lake (2018)

If you like to think, this is your movie

[9/10 · 3 October 2019]

This movie. This movie is one of those that you will either rate at 1/10 after watching half of it and most likely you'll finish your Pizza Hut dinner in silence and go back to watching a safer movie you find entertaining like, The Conjuring 3 or Michael Bay's Transformers 7 or You will rate it a 10/10. Almost no one will rate this a 7/10.

The movie is smart, witty, makes a hellva mystery and it provides the clues very precisely. The clues keep adding up and the payoff leaves with a feeling.

But if you are an open mouth breather that thinks the Exorcist is funny because the little girl swears, this movie is likely not for you. I guess the silver lining for this movie is, is that these movies are still being made these types of movies. One or two a year, these types of movies still get made through all of the loud garbage that's being shoved down everyone's throat's

9/10

First Man (2018)

If you are interested in the subject it's worth a watch

[7/10 · 26 July 2019]

I saw the comments that this movie was boring and such. It's a bio pic. So there won't be loud explosions and super slow-mo. If you are an open mouth breather that enjoys Michael Bay movies this movie is not for you.

In short the movie depicts the life of Neil Armstrong. There was plenty of drama as astronauts did lose their lives in order to get to the moon. The movie puts an emphasis on the relationship between Armstrong and his wife and family.

I think for a bio-pic the movie had plenty to watch and be excited about. There was a sequence before the moon launching the was really good and had me at the edge of my seat.

It's not the greatest movie you will see but it was really good and right up there with Tom Hanks Apollo 13.

Enjoy. Ignore the haters.

The Man Who Killed Hitler and Then the Bigfoot (2018)

Nope! Tried too hard to be a love story

[4/10 · 5 April 2019]

This is NOT some ode to B-Movies. Don't let the title fool you. It should have been called "Sad Old Man Reminisces". The film is really slow and very talkie. It's has 5-6 flashback scenes that show how he killed Hitler. Then like out of nowhere he shoots Bigfoot and I mean out of nowhere. They must have cut the whole set up out of the film.

For some reason after the two title characters are dead the movie continues on with flashback and really cheesy music.

0 -love scenes 2 - Sam Elliot cry's 1- Bigfoot vomits on Sam Elliot on his face and in his mouth 👄 . 3- Sam Elliot talks to random animals

Vice (I) (2018)

It's no Big Short

[5/10 · 4 April 2019]

Acting is really good. There are interesting parts like when Bale and Adams recite Shakespeare to each other. Made me want to see them do Macbeth all of a sudden.

The movie is trying really hard to get you interested in the Cheney biography. However the movie just comes off to me as really force feeding you all the usual tropes of an anti-Bush movie. You probably wanted to see this movie to see a comedy and laugh. Not much too laugh at in this serious toned movie. The funny parts are slim and only mildly amusing if you know the history behind the context of the scene. If Adam MacKay wants to make a serious documentary, he should. He kinda already has with this movie.

Bale and Adams are amazing. Bale especially in the end breaking the 4th wall was great.

Daredevil (2015–2018)

Show has promise after season 1 but has flaws

[7/10 · 19 April 2015]

First the bad:

I am not sure why, but I feel the acting is poor in this series. Which is incredible to say because good actors are in the show. Vincent D'norfio who is an excellent actor falls flat in this series. His take on Fisk has a forced Shakespearian quality as he delivers his lines with not much realism. I also blame the writing and character development. Again with Fisk; it's like I am watching two different characters. Many episodes depict Fisk as a caring nice guy who only wants his city to thrive. Yet in seldom episodes we see how much of a maniac he is. The problem is that there is seemingly no correlation between these two dynamics, so his character overall isn't believable.

Foggy Nelson is meant to be the comic relief and this also falls flat, with jokes not being well made, or the I mind is off and the joke falls flat. The girl who is introduced in the first episode has really just been reduced to a character that pouts and criesa lot.

I can't tell if it's the writing, the acting, or maybe an overbearing director or producer. But something is prevent pretty good actor delivering believable lines.

Now the Good:

Charlie Cox is excluded from this poor acting critique. His monologues are well done, believable, and carries the emotional weight they should. particularly when he is giving a monologue about justice. Here is where the series shines. With a couple of episodes in the first season such as episode 8 I get a sense that I am watching The Wire ( which is what I believe the makers of the series are striving for), a crime drama.

Scott Glen is also very good although he doesn't carry much screen time.

The blood and gore was surprising and appreciated. The fighting is well done although always done in the dark so it's hard as hell to see what's going on. What you can make out looks good though. One particular scene is a single continuous fight scene about 1-2 minutes long, very impressive.

So in conclusion, if you're a fan of the comic book series you should watch this show because it may have been the best attempt at Daredevil that we have seen as of yet. However if there is to be a season two like I read that there is going to be where they will introduce Bull's-eye and Elektra they need to fix the writing on the show in such a way that the actors can illustrate having some gravity.

Otherwise this will be a short lived franchise.

Prometheus (I) (2012)

Great Graphics, poor writing, actors did what they could

[6/10 · 11 June 2012]

I am always wanting to delve deeper into mythologies, and so I couldn't pass up the opportunity to get into the mythology of Alien.

To sum it up, the movie was a large disappointment.

First the good: The graphics. The graphics were great. The acting was pretty good but they had to deal with the horrible script.

Now the bad: The script was awful. The plot holes were so numerous, so ridiculous, it was just awful. For example, Prometheus is the story of a trillion-dollar mission to discover the origins of human life on a distant planet. Basically, this is supposed to be the greatest exploration undertaken in the history of mankind.

So who do they send? A gaggle of fractious goons whose collective scientific nous is rivaled only by that of the Three Stooges. Within minutes of touching down (conveniently beside the only 'man-made' structures on the planet, ala 1960s Star Trek) the 'scientists' are yanking off their helmets, on the basis of 'it seems fine to me', dipping their fingers into strange organic ooze, and lugging a severed alien head back to an unquarantined spaceship in a sandwich bag.

The music was my first indicator that this movie was going to be bad. It was music fit for Gladiator not a Sci-Fi genre movie. Very poor choice.

The Tree of Life (2011)

Tree of Life....abstract film or mesh of ideas?

[7/10 · 9 December 2011]

I give this film a 7 because I love Terrence Malick's films. I also gave it a 7 because I thought it was disappointing overall and thats why he didn't get a 10.

This is a synopsis IMDb wrote of this film, read this:

"The impressionistic story of a Texas family in the 1950s. The film follows the life journey of the eldest son, Jack, through the innocence of childhood to his disillusioned adult years as he tries to reconcile a complicated relationship with his father (Brad Pitt). Jack (played as an adult by Sean Penn) finds himself a lost soul in the modern world, seeking answers to the origins and meaning of life while questioning the existence of faith."

So first the Bad:

I am a reasonably intelligent man, understand these art-sy films fairly well and for the life of me could not bridge these gaps. Terrence usually makes his films that reflect the human condition juxtapose with nature. I saw these correlations however, I couldn't find the connections. The synopsis was what I was expected, but my overall interpretation was foggy, because I couldn't see the message the film.

Now the Good: As always, the film was beautiful to watch, a bunch of beautiful scenes placed beautifully together. So the film was aesthetically please to look at. Brad Pitt, I feel, is getting better and better as an actor and he was phenomenal in this film as were the children in this film. The "meaning of life" part in the film was my favorite.

Green Lantern (2011)

Green Lantern was an OK summer Movie, but fell flat

[4/10 · 10 August 2011]

First The GOOD:

The graphics in the film were some of the best I had seen. The ultra villain was very very cool looking, of course I saw it in 3D so that probably helped. The Green Lantern was very cool looking. My favorite part of the movie is when Hal Jordan visited the other planets.

Also the entire supporting cast is what I thought carried the film, minus the leading lady. The other Lanterns, the lead Lantern especially, of course all these other Lanterns was really a testament to the CG.

Now The BAD:

Unfortunately, everything else. Ryan Reynolds was.... Ryan Reynolds (think Van Wilder). So he wasn't acting he was playing himself, playing The Green Lantern. It was really hard to care anything about 'Hal Jordon' at all because I felt like I never saw what Hal Jordan was supposed to be.

The story or plot also felt very rushed, the epic battle in the end was over before it began, or at least it felt that way. With such an epic villain, you would think the final fight would be just as epic. Thank god I saw this movie in 3D! The female lead had a story-line that wasn't developed very well or maybe she had crappy lines to work with, either way she didn't work almost as much as Ryan Reynolds didn't work.

Overall I was really impressed with the look of the film hugely disappointed with the main characters. I thought all other supporting class kept me engaged with what the story was supposed to be. So don't expect too much this is Comic book movie does NOT belong in the same realms as, Batman Begins, The Dark Knight, Thor and the IronMans.

Captain America: The First Avenger (2011)

Weak-sauce Certainly no Batman Begins or Dark Knight

[10 August 2011]

OK, First the GOOD:

My favorite part of the film was the beginning when Steve Rogers was a frail weakling in stature but had a huge heart. That entire chapter was great. You know, Chris Evans I am convinced is a great actor. Hugo Weaving is awesome as a villain, always was, always will be. The mask he had on was very cool too, the makeup or whatever it was, was not so much that it restricted his expressions. Hugo Weaving is one scary dude. The graphics were fine and the entire supporting cast was very good.

Now The BAD: Well...the story which had a lot to cover was stuffed in a 2 hour movie when it felt like they either should of changed the script of the movie entirely or made the movie a 3 hour movie. There was no big Hero versus Villain showdown, or maybe there was but I blinked and seemed to have missed it. I didn't feel like there was that big huge action scene that you see as apart of the format in other action films. This movie just fell flat with the stuffed story and basic outline of the movie.

Special note: I was most afraid of all, that this movie would be way too Pro-America (Think Team America but serious) and with times like these I am glad that was an aspect of the film that I 'didn't' feel they went over-the-top with. So like with all the other action Summer Movies of 2011, don't expect too much, but see it if you want to support these fine actors.

Collision: Christopher Hitchens vs. Douglas Wilson (2009 Video)

5 stars for good debates -5 for a crappy documentary

[5/10 · 23 April 2011]

I thoroughly enjoyed listening to both debaters, if only all arguments in politics for example could be so civilized. Ironically it was the film itself that prevented my entertainment and made it hard for my intellectual curiosity to be aroused.

Major concept problems with the film.

Shaky camera work, crazy zoom ins and zoom outs, deliberate focus adjustments, but I think the worst crime is I never really heard the argument. The film chopped the debate up so everything the both of them said was out of context, meaning you didn't know what was said before or after to set up the discussion.

Rock music was also injected at times, which was cliché at best.

Overall, I could obviously tell the film makers were trying to make what would be a debate on one topic, exciting. So they sold their artistic 'souls' if you will, to the devil, by putting in all these random film techniques, none of which met the real style of the film. They would have been better off sitting those two guys down at a table and just let them have at it. I was more entertained by watching youtube videos of Chris Hitchens and the other guy (sorry I forgot his name).

Countdown to Zero (2010)

Ethical Concerns regarding this Documentary, mixed signals

[6/10 · 14 April 2011]

I have concerns about how they tell, describe and illustrate how you can go about getting, transporting, smuggling bomb materials. Overall the movie calls for the destruction of all bombs, which is of course a great idea and worthy of praise.

In fact the entire movie is worthy of praise. The movie is well put together visually and stylistically.

It calls for action as well from the viewers, but like I said there are some parts, I feel, that it seemed like the movie was daring us to do it. I am not ignorant of the strong possibility that the powers the be and wish to set off NUKES already know these things, but still..... I just didn't like that.

Sherlock Holmes (2009)

Sherlock Holmes looked dumb, but I watched it and Loved it.

[9/10 · 2 February 2011]

When I saw the trailers for this film and I saw all the fight scenes I instantly thought they had ruined the movie, because for me, thats not how I saw Sherlock Holmes (as some pit fighter).

I like the two actors Downey Jr. and Law, but I couldn't get over the fight scenes.

Well then I saw the film, like 2 years after it came out.

I loved it. Everything about it. But for me mainly, I loved how damn funny the film was, I found myself cracking up every 5 minutes or so, it really was that funny. It was smart, quirky and yes those fight scenes are totally explained and fall perfectly within the Sherlock Holmes mythology.

The film had a great theme as well that most of my Sherlock Holmes experience had, and that was; there was always a battle between the supernatural versus Holmes' logic and reason.

If you felt the same as me and were stand-offish with the film because you may have felt they betrayed the mythology....WATCH IT. It will blow you away, make you laugh, and have you begging for a sequel.