bluerevenge Reviews

Forgotten Experiment (2023)

Any potential ruined by the voice dubbing.

[2/10 · 25 January 2024]

I generally like to watch any movies that have elements of time travel in them in any way. Even some of the low-budget time-travel b-movies out there can be enjoyable.

However this movie is totally let down by the voice acting/dubbing done. It appears the actors are mostly Russian and I imagine it was filmed in Russia too. The problem is, the actors do all speak in English but the voices we hear, very obviously, are not the actors on the screen. They seemingly had some random/generic American voice actors do ADR for the movie. Presumably because the Russian actors playing the parts had accents?

I feel like this odd choice ruined the film and really took me out of watching it. I would have rather had just heard the actors' real voices with their accents instead of this nonsense. Heck I would have even rathered they spoke in Russian and just had subtitles in English to what they did here.

Really odd production choice, I don't recall seeing another modern movie like this, and hope I don't come across another!

Hereditary (2018)

Plot is cheese whiz, in the microwave, 2 min, high power...

[3/10 · 18 November 2019]

...Recycled cheese whiz, the kind that's been heated up in the jar before, poured on stuff and then re-refrigerated for more cheese whiz later, like this film.

Let's begin by noting the performances in the movie--Collette, Byrne, and Wolff. Collette a great performance as usual; Byrne, didn't do much but at least seemed like he *wasn't* "phoning it in"; and, somewhat surprisingly Wolff a splendid job as the scared, panicked, and guilty teenager.

The start of the film gets going and we're already on a note of sadness and grief, starting with the funeral of Annie's mother and her daughter Charlie's clear struggles with it. Then it gets worse as Charlie dies in a tragic accident, while in the care of her brother. The despair of the family grows but the plot of the movie then devolves into trash...

So here we go, on to the laughable and nonsensical plot that continues, which isn't even remotely "scary". Scary for kids perhaps, sure, but not grown adults. Seances, some contrived horse do-do about "Paimon" and pagans and evil worship, and other hilarious stuff like that. Really? Gimme a break. The stuff many alleged "horror movies" have been made of since time immemorial. It's made of stuff that scares you when you're 12 years old but people aren't kids forever and this stuff doesn't scare--at all--once you have some sense. LOL Paimon. Yawn. NEXT!

Pretty hilarious stuff here, and awfully lame. I don't understand how filmmakers and screenwriters think this kind of stuff is still scary in this day and age? Give it a pass, unless you're showing it to your kids for a chuckle when they get all frightened about it and try to sleep with the lights on later. That really about sums it up--it's not a "psychological horror", it's a kids movie. 3/10.

Upside Down (I) (2012)

Terrible science, nice visuals, flat/generic story, mediocre acting.

[5/10 · 25 July 2016]

Upside Down is an attempt at a novel twist of a story of two planets and opposite gravity intertwined with a "forbidden love" love-story arising out of typical prejudices imposed by one of the two "sides" on the other. I.e. Other than the setting, the rest is a pretty generic "Romeo & Juliet" bit.

I had heard of this movie before and was interested in seeing it but never put much effort into doing so. But when I saw the 3D Blu for $8 in a grocery store bargain bin, how could I refuse? So how does it do?

First off let's get to the "science complaints". The movie does not hold any scientific water. However it's not just that "some people are too picky" or that the science is merely "incorrect", it's instead absolute nonsense. It's one thing to have some minor flaw in an explanation or something that could only be plausible in the most strict/rare cases, but to have something that even a 3rd grader could (and should) see is downright preposterous is another story. Unfortunately, that's what this is.

Still despite this annoyance being clear in the first sequence of the film, I watched the rest without thinking about it (suspension of disbelief and all that).

Let's think of it as a *fantasy* romance movie instead of a sci-fi one, shall we? Even if we forget about the "science" they have going on completely, it's unfortunately still not a very good movie. The visuals are nice at times but really, the movie just isn't good. The story is a bit flat, the narration by the lead seems to have an odd over-enthusiastic tone, and it's just nothing that special. It's a bit hard to rant or rave about anything. With bad movies you can go on about just how bad it is; with good movies you can give a lot of praise; with this one you're just left with not much to say.

The 3D (again I purchased the 3D Blu-ray version of it) is pretty good but for all the reviews I'd read about it, I was kind of expecting *spectacular* 3D and didn't really get it. It's has some very good 3D at times, but it's not the best 3D Blu out there either.

As for the content, I ended up thinking of it as a "poor man's Gattaca," with a more silly premise, a very bland/shallow story, and worse acting. Sturgess certainly ain't no Hawke, and the rest of the cast doesn't hold up too well in comparison either. Granted Dunst is not a bad actress but she didn't do anything special here. I hate to say it but, overall, In Time was a better and more enjoyable film than this (and I can't even stand Timberlake) as it had a much better premise. In Time, I can watch that again and again and still like it for the story; this film, I watched it once and don't really have much desire to pop it in ever again.

I gave this a 5/10. I thought I was being generous due to the visuals, the work put into the opposite gravity concept (and showing it on-screen), and the 3D. Otherwise I might have given it less. It's not a terrible movie and the 3D disc is probably worth the $8.00 I paid, but certainly no more than that. It's worth a watch, but don't be disappointed when you find out it's really just a mediocre film.

Chernobyl Diaries (2012)

This movie was terrible...yet I'd probably watch it again.

[5/10 · 15 March 2015]

Well, maybe not the whole thing but the first half anyway.

I think the whole "horror" aspect of the movie just went wrong...really and *badly* wrong. However the first half of the movie is really not half bad. All the stuff about Chernobyl, Pripyat, and the exclusion zone, etc. is pretty interesting and it at least sets up some nice tension/suspense/anticipation for the rest of the movie (which unfortunately falls flat on its face).

Though I'm sure there are plenty of documentaries out there about the real Chernobyl/exclusion zone and how it is today, seeing it detailed in an otherwise fictional movie is both interesting and entertaining.

However once the horror starts, you're not much entertained so much as you're annoyed. Once they start making the ridiculously poor decisions towards/into nightfall, that's where the good stuff ends and you may as well turn it off. Obviously in horror films poor decisions are going to be aplenty but once you get into the mutant/zombie/"patient" stuff, you begin to start asking yourself why you started watching this movie to begin with. It descends into generic, silly, ridiculousness and by the end you wish you could get a refund of some of your wasted time.

I'm torn between saying this movie should a 6 or 7 out of 10, to saying it really deserves a 2 out of 10. It's that much difference between how it starts out and how it ends up. It's tough to mix reality with low-rent horror, I suppose.

Speaking of low-rent, apparently this movie cost just $1 million to make which is very impressive, if true. "A Good Day To Die Hard" (also partially set in the exclusion zone) cost about 100x as much, yet it manages to insult and disrespect both physics and Chernobyl much more than this movie. If anything, this movie insults biology and common sense by the end, but at least it's not a farce. (I actually theorise that AGDTDH was intentionally way over the top, but that's another story.)

Chernobyl Diaries, all of these things considered, is not *that* bad. As a horror movie it's no more than a 2; as a sci-fi Chernobyl movie, it rates much better. In the end I'll settle with a 5 out of 10. It's definitely worth a look if nuclear fallout zones interest you, but if you quit before the end, consider it a wise decision.

Elevator (V) (2012)

Unlikeable characters, unnecessary 'suspense', TERRIBLE movie (*spoilers*)

[1/10 · 8 August 2014]

Been watching a bunch of lesser known horror/thriller movies on Netflix recently, some are fairly good, some are "ehhh alright", some are just bad...and then you have this pile of garbage.

Seriously one of the "worst movies evar"! I don't even know where to begin but I beg of you please do NOT watch this movie.

If you do here is a rundown of how it will go: First of all, almost all the characters in the elevator are dislikeable. In fact I hated them all except perhaps the pregnant lady and perhaps, to some degree, the fat guy (whose fate is ironic given that, but I won't give away too much).

Seriously about halfway in I was just *hoping* for the bomb to explode and kill all the a-holes in the elevator. I couldn't have cared less for any of them except again the pregnant character who at least acted more sensibly than anyone else. You hate the little girl for causing the elevator to get stuck and being stupid and whiny, you hate the 'comedian' cause he's a jackwagon, you hate the old dude 'cause of his greed and arrogance, you hate the boyfriend dude because he's also another a-hole, you hate his gf because she's only interested in making a story out of the situation, you hate the security guard because he's totally useless, and you hate the old lady (you'll see why). You couldn't care less about any of them.

Most movies like this have maybe one guy you hate--the guy that acts like a total moron--and the rest of them or at least most of them you are rooting for, to survive. This movie? Nope, you want to see them pretty much all dead. You just want the damn bomb to explode already and kill everyone and end this horrible movie.

Then there are all these weird and stupid pauses and slow-paced attempts at 'suspense' that aren't suspenseful they are just boring and annoying. Like when they search for the bomb ever so carefully instead of just looking for the damn thing. I mean the person with the bomb walked around fine, made regular movements, the elevator jerked around, etc. etc. and the bomb never went off so I'm pretty sure the bomb is not going to "just go off" upon moving the bomb-holder and their clothes/belongings. There's so many moments like this along with pauses and waits for totally pointless reasons.

Instead of waiting for all this nonsense to transpire and agonise watching this fail of a movie, you just jump forward again and again hoping for the point where either the bomb has exploded or someone to break the 4th wall and tell you this movie wasn't meant to be serious and the joke is on you for watching it to begin with.

Then there are so many other things wrong with the thin story it's not funny. Both the attempts to escape the elevator and the rescuers (who are supposed to be experts) attempts to get them out make absolutely no sense. You can tell from a mile away someone is going to get injured, and you can tell the rescuers are totally incompetent as well.

Once you get to the end you just shake your head and realise you wasted however much time you wasted watching this (and hopefully not the actual run time because I pity anyone that actually sat through the whole thing).

The movie is bad. Really...really bad. Do not watch.