Change Your Image
mallyrain
Here's how I rate movies:
1 - I don't give ones. Never came across something bad enough to give it to.
2 - God-awful dreck of a movie. A disaster.
3 - Weak. Boring. Stupid. Watching is a real chore.
4 - Barely watchable. Just meh.
5 - Good enough to waste time on if there's nothing else to do.
6 - Not great, but something I would still recommend to my friends.
7-9 - Good, very good and excellent. High tier.
10 - I do not give tens. Ten is perfection.
Also, I am biased toward SF movies, horrors and "found footage" and my ratings reflect that.
Ratings
Most Recently Rated
Reviews
The Signal (2014)
*sigh*
This is a perfect example of a WTF movie. Or what-did-I-just-watch for those who mind their tongue. No real story, contrived, artsy and obviously made by someone who thinks all it takes to make a good "mystery" movie is mix conspiracy with some SF imagery, "poetic" slow-mo and guys in gas masks. Add some nonsense talk and moments of poignant silence and you got yourself an indie (s)hit.
This is not a movie. This is someone's idea of a movie that _maybe_ worked in their dream, but failed on most accounts in the real life.
Fishburne earns this a +1 above what I'd otherwise give. Watch only if you're into Fishburne or you're a hard core conspiracy evangelist who thinks the Moon will explode any day soon.
sxtape (2013)
Really Brandon? No clue why the rating is so low? Let me tell ya.
Here's why. The movie is a repeating pattern of done-to-death clichés. You like it, it probably means it's your first FF experience. Congrats. You have no clue why other people hate it - well, again, it probably means it's one of ten movies you have ever seen and this one was the best. No shame in lack of experience though, I guess.
Enough of the cruelty. The movie stinks - of boredom, nonsense and drivel. If this was the very first FF movie ever made, then maybe it would have stood the test of time, but this being 2013, well it's a no go to anyone that admired the first Blair Witch Project or The Last Broadcast. This one here, ladies and gentlemen, is a failed student project. But the blonde chick was kinda hot. Crazy, but hot.
Wer (2013)
Tedious, loathsome dreck (TRAP also)
Another IMDb high rating trap. Yeah, it's a TRAP! Ratings of 10 must come from some family members. Do not trust them. No movie in the world deserves a perfect rating, much less such a horrible endeavor. This "movie" is a whole lot of annoying, werewolf wannabe, pseudo CSI HORSE MANURE!
I cannot be any more thorough. And for the love of dark, IT IS ABSOLUTELY BORING! Made me yawn and fall asleep at least couple of times. If this is your first attempt at a werewolf franchise, STAY AWAY and keep it to An American Werewolf in London or The Howling! Anything of any real value in this particular venue is better that this pathetic attempt at movie making.
All Is Lost (2013)
Yawn
All is Lost. So is my time, irrevocably wasted on this pathetic attempt at a drama. Mr Redford did his best, but the movie sank (pun intended). If watching an old fart go around his business on a boat fancies you, by all means, go watch this dreck. You won't understand a jack of his actions unless you're a hardened sailor, I believe. You will however learn that every piece of electronic equipment on a boat is non- waterproof. Sounds about right, huh? You will also learn, that the most important device on a DRIFTING life boat is a sextant, that NO ONE (apparently not even a seasoned, 80y old sailor) knows how to operate, unless they take a star navigation crash course in a raft. You will also observe that there is no point in firing flares, as the infamous Titanic example had already taught us - sailors have better things to do than scan the horizon. Oh, and an advice not to be missed - as a last resort, BURN your life raft and then PROMPTLY descend into depths.
TL DR: watch Open Water or Dead Calm if you aim at a quality deep water entertainment.