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An error has ocurred. Please try again(Note: The only two genres this list excludes are film-noirs and short films. This is because I have literally not seen a single of either genre.)
Reviews
Better Call Saul: Point and Shoot (2022)
Up there with Ozymandias. Get this to 10.0!
This episode had me on the edge from start to finish. Felt so real, so dramatic and so suspenseful. One of the best episodes from the Breaking Bad universe. Up there with Ozymandias.
3 from Hell (2019)
More stupidity. Less charm.
This is the first film of the franchise I disliked. The first two were great horror films, and I particularly like House of 1000 Corpses. I know most people prefer Devil's Rejects, but House of 1000 Corpses will always be my favourite. I loved the characters (more specifically the bad guys), the surreal, sometimes outright bizarre editing, and the black comedy tone. The movie was a little stupid, but in a way that was charming. Like it was enjoyable to watch something that didn't require your brain to be switched on 100%. 3 from Hell, however, was basically even more stupidity but minus the charm.
Probably the worst aspect of the film was the production value. This movie cost only $3 million to make and it certainly shows. Basically, even if you go into this movie expecting to see mindless gore for mindless gore's sake, you'll still be disappointed. There was honestly not a single murder in this film that I enjoyed. A lot of kills occur at least partially off-screen, and when you do see the murders or aftermath, it's usually a gunshot-wound to the head with blatant CGI blood. I'm sorry, but in 2019 (or 2020, when I watched 3 from Hell and am writing this review), I think the horror community isn't going to squirm much at gunshot wounds, much less gunshot wounds that look utterly fake. The previous film featured a woman have her boyfriend's face put on her as a mask, for heaven's sake!
Then there's the editing. If you like pointless and over-used slow-motion that serves no clear artistic purpose, then this is the film for you. If you like random cuts to things that we've already seen in the movie, then this is the film for you. If you like a potentially cool prison fight/murder being made entirely of freeze-frames, you're in luck. Another reason I disliked the kills is because probably half are in slow-motion for no reason. Adds to the cheapness, big time.
The pacing is another woe of mine. This film didn't feel like it had enough content for 90 minutes, much less 115. What's the point of making the film longer just to stretch it out with filler and slow-motion? 'Boring' is the last word that should accurately describe a movie like this, but this movie is just that.
This movie seems to forget about halfway through that the Firefly's are the bad guys, as there's a whole plot of them going to Mexico and becoming friends with these local people. Then there's a group of Mexican gangsters who come gunning for them, leading to a cringe-worthy showdown riddled with the aforementioned CGI blood and slow-motion.
The acting isn't great. Bill Moseley and Richard Brake did decent jobs, although with a better script it could have been significantly better. I'm sorry, but Sheri Moon Zombie is just over-the-top and cringeworthy in this film. Especially the parts when she's in prison. In fairness, she only can do as well as the script allows, also. But that doesn't change the fact that her scenes made me kind of think to myself. Also, what the heck was the deal with that dream sequence/ hallucination of the dancing animal in her cell? Bizarre, and not in the normal Rob Zombie way.
The soundtrack was not good. The music itself is very good, but feels totally tone-deaf for this movie. A lot of happy-sounding 70's music that feels out-of-place in a world of gore and mayhem.
This movie goes nowhere. It accomplishes nothing. At the end of the film, the Firefly's just go out into the wilderness, and there was not point to anything. They gave them a contrived resurrection just for this? Come on.
In conclusion, this movie is poor. I went in expecting it could be not great, but I was still surprised at how bad it was. Perhaps worse yet, the film isn't even so-bad-it's-good. It feels painfully middle-of-the-road, which can be worse sometimes. Overall, not recommended. 3/10 stars.
The Weekend It Lives (1992)
Nearly unwatchable!
This is likely the most stupid, incoherent, boring, predictable, clichéd, poorly-made "movie" I have ever seen. It does nothing right! The opening title cards that describe the back story of the film aren't even done write, as they are studded with poor grammar and even a few spelling errors.
The movie's 'plot' is the same as hundreds of other slasher movies before and since; a group of friends go camping, and are then stalked by an insane killer who picks them off one-by-one.
The audio is extremely poor. You can't understand half of what the characters are saying, plus it is nearly impossible to figure out any of their names.
Also, there are some serious errors in film making, including one scene where you can clearly hear the director shouting "cut" at the end of the scene, another scene where a crew member is scene with a film slate in the background, and another where you can both hear the camera crew talking, and even see their shadows! Terrible.
The only redeeming feature of this film were the unintentional laughs it produced, but that wasn't enough to compensate for the terrible boredom I felt during this movie.
1/10 stars.
I Know What You Did Last Summer (1997)
A flawed but fun slasher.
I saw this movie for the first time last night. Did I like it? Not entirely. In some ways it was good, but in more ways bad. However, the film does work for what it is: a shallow teen slasher film that serves the sole purpose of entertainment.
I'll admit, the film is quite flawed. It suffers from clichés, annoying characters, and delivers absolutely no scares at all. And yes, the film does mimic other, better horror movies such as Halloween (1978) and Scream (1996). However, despite theses flaws, the film can still be enjoyed by any horror fan for pure entertainment. Just so long as you don't watch it expecting a really good movie.
So overall, I'd say watch it one night when you're home alone and bored, but watch at your own risk.
Haute tension (2003)
Good movie. Bad ending.
I saw this film a few days ago for the first time in a while, and I did really enjoy the movie. The movie works very well for what it is: a slasher film.
The film's plot is simple: two young girls go to countryside for the weekend, only to be invaded by a grizzly killer who hunts them through the entire movie, causing a tense cat-and-mouse game that creates precisely what the title of the film is: High Tension.
The films spends about 20-30 minutes getting us introduced to the main characters, and then gets into the action. The entire film is filled with good acting, nail-biting suspense, amazing special effects, and some deeply scary moments. Not to mention a solid script.
The film keeps you on the edge of your sit for the most part. However, the creators of this movie decided to put in an unrealistic, unconvincing plot twist which I personally found disappointing and unnecessary.
Nonetheless, I would certainly recommend this movie for anyone who enjoys horror films. But be prepared, the ending may not be overly pleasing, although that doesn't stop the rest of the film from being an intense, frightening gore fest that packs it's fair share of screams.
Seed 2 (2014)
A complete and utter waste of 90 minutes.
Let's get one thing straight: I only watched this film out of curiosity. I knew it was going to be bad, but I had seen the first movie by Uwe Boll a while ago and was curious to see how the sequel would turn out. Despite watching this movie with my expectations at almost zero, I still was appalled at how bad a flick this turned out to be. One of the worst movies I've EVER seen, and definitely the worst horror movie I've seen.
The first film's director, Uwe Boll, is notorious for his poor films, which are said by numerous critics to suffer from serious flows in script, directing, acting, etc. This film, although directed by another director named Marcel Walz, does nothing but also fall into this category of Z-movies.
Let's get down to what is actually wrong with the movie: a poorly written script filled with lazy and silly dialogue, effortless directing, wooden acting, infuriatingly amateur cinematography, cheesy and laughable special effects, and, perhaps worst of all, a story that makes little to no sense.
The film attempts a Pulp Fiction-like story structure in which the events of the film are not in chronological order, and therefore leaving it up to the viewer to figure which scene happened when. While this works in Pulp Fiction, it just makes this film confusing and wondering what the heck is going on.
In addition to these flaws, the film is not scary whatsoever, despite a few gross-out gore scenes that attempt to scare, but fail. The only remotely entertaining part of this film is the unintentional laughs that occur occasionally, but these goofs aren't enough to compensate for 90 minutes of boredom and eagerness for an ending.
And let's not forget how little relevance this sequel has in relation to the first movie, showing almost no relation, and even lacking some of the very few decent qualities of the first one, too.
DO NOT WATCH THIS FILM. A sheer waste of time.