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Reviews
Kingdom of the Planet of the Apes (2024)
Wanted To Not Be Disappointed
The context of this review is that the previous trilogy of films are some of my absolute favorite movies. Cesar is an amazing character with an awesome arc, and even the characters around him were amazing. I was beyond hyped to see what this new movie had to offer because I loved the previous ones.
With that said I could not help but walk away from this film with a bad taste in my mouth. The acting was actually very well done and the cinematography was amazing.
The story was very non-linear and almost unintelligible. The film sets up Proximus as the main villain but honestly Mae is the most evil human of these films second only to the Colonel in War. She is literally willing to commit genocide of the apes and almost assassinates the main character for absolutely no reason. Proximus himself does nor commands his cronies on screen to do actually zero evil things, even though he had a sort of brute squad that did their own stuff. None of his people are enslaved or starving. They are just living and nothing really suggests they aren't free to just leave.
The stories of the film just aren't fleshed out. The runtime was spent on things that didn't build the plot or the characters. Cesar's legacy isn't carried on by the one character who seeks to remember him. And suddenly humans trying to contact each other is still their main mission? That's what Mae wants to brazenly commit genocide for? We already did this in the second film!
Again, the acting was very well done but whoever wrote this movie made some very depressing mistakes. I truly wanted to love it.
Coming 2 America (2021)
Idiots love to review bomb. All negative review it's have garbage taste in film and garbage takes.
Not a single one of the idiots giving these low ratings had to have watched the original film recently. Like do they understand that the first movie was a barrage of silliness? As an actual black person who understands the nuances of the comedy of the first film and the culture of the time, I have seen very few sequels that could amount to the homage this one paid to the tone and pacing of the first film. The first film wasn't some paragon of cinema, and neither was this movie. It was supposed to be a lighthearted and relaxing ride, and that is exactly what it achieved. People can be totally useless when judging literally anything, and that's why we ended up with several stupid things happening in this world caused by lots of idiots. This was a fun film and the writers did the old movie proud.
Soft & Quiet (2022)
I was bored
Just kind of boring. As a POC I'm well aware these sort of people exist but I was hoping for some kind of supernatural horror twist and that would have actually been interesting. The racism was realistic because I'm from the South and ive met these types, but everything else was just kind of silly. Like a lot of build-up for practically no payoff. Boring and didn't go to an interesting place where it could have. Plus the stupid one take thing just hurt my head. I would personally say do not waste your time watching this movie. I feel stupid because I saw a news story that said people were too disturbed to finish the movie and I was like "oh it must be pretty scary" and then it's just dumb. Screw the Daily Mail for their crappy articles.
Tenet (2020)
Low IQ People Are Hilarious...This Film Needs A Re-Release
Gotta love the hilarity of people with the IQs of potatoes crying and whining about "pretentious" and "boring". They just want a "good guy get hot girl and shoot bad guy in face and save day" for their plots. If it were left up to these cave-crawling, likely gun-toting no-IQ hick degenerates, cinema would have no depth, and everything would be explained to them using no more than 5 letter words written in crayon. Go watch all the Fast movies (no offense) or Marvel if you want low-effort entertainment for the rest of your life. Some of us like to use our brains. What a joke. Imagine admitting to having the intellectual range of a fruit fly and then blaming other people for you being confused. Get gud you insufferable numbnuts.
Most of the negative reviews complain about the film simply having depth and a plot line that isn't laid out for you in the first 5 minutes. This movie breaks the mold of no effort storytelling and weaves together a plot with tons of moving parts that fit together seamlessly. I will say the sound mixing was indeed odd at points where there was dialogue, and several scenes were tough to understand what people were saying. Be sure to watch with subtitles to get everything, but it's not necessary to enjoy the film. It's a wild and very satisfying ride.
Undercover Brother 2 (2019)
A failure at trying to capture the spirit of the original.
TL:DR- You know when you're with your friends and want to watch a horrible movie just to make fun of it? This movie is for you.
When I saw the title on Netflix a few hours ago, I thought I was seeing things. The first Undercover Brother was a huge part of my teen years. While it was low budget and campy, it was at least genuinely funny. I don't know if it's the lack of A-listers or poorly written social commentary, but this film just misses. Honestly I only finished it to write this review.
Undercover Brother has returned to the hood from years of fighting The Man. He meets up with his younger brother, who he feels has become a punk in his absence, and proceeds to do a training montage with him to make him better. He and his younger brother are frozen for 16 years in an avalanche in Austria while trying to track down The Man. Undercover Brother's younger brother wakes up first and convinces the new Chief of the Brotherhood to let him join to get revenge on The Man for causing the avalanche to kill them, and to stop The Man's most recent evil plans. Without giving any spoilers, what ensues is a crazy show of poorly done commentary on our current social climate with spattered callbacks to the original Undercover Brother.
Not to say that there aren't interesting concepts and funny moments. Terrible as I thought it was, I laughed at a few parts and even thought the twist wasn't too bad if it had been a better executed movie. But make no mistake, any true fans of the original UB who actually make it through this whole film will find it to be cringeworthy, random, and honestly kind of boring.
The film is also low budget and campy, but this story is poorly written and poorly but together. It seems like a collection of random scenes that a fanboy/girl of the original might have written down were strung together to make a movie. The original UB was quippy and intelligent in its social commentary, but this film simply mocked current social climates in a few monologues without offering much else for us to think about or laugh at.
Now for perspective I personally am black myself, and I would really rather not rain on anybody's parade. But this is a movie review :/ And I'll say this is one of those films that, for a real fan of the original UB, probably isn't worth watching even once.