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Thirstyscoundrel
Reviews
The Promise Keeper (2006)
Oh dear - back to dumb characters again
I've given this a 3 for it's slightly different take on the "cursed object" type horror movie.
A law firm receive a gift of an African nail fetish - a wooden statue that you make promises to before striking a nail into it, to supposedly seal your promise. This one is haunted though, and will summon a big nail monster to get you, for no readily apparent reason, (it was very unclear to me if anyone actually broke their promises). But not for a while.
In the meantime, we have plot about the bosses daughter bunking school, sexual harassment at work, bullying behaviour of a female partner, dating scenes, arguing scenes - none of which seem to be relevant to the story, the only horror on screen for most of the movie, is the acting.
Did I mention that this was a law firm?.... and did I mention that they had been warned by the obligatory spooky person that the fetish was dangerous and not to be messed with? So why would the 3 senior partners think "Hey! Guess I'll make a promise and bang a nail into the fetish, just for a laugh of course!" (please don't say they were "bewitched" - that would be a cop out). Surely senior partners of any law firm would be, well, busy, at least too busy and too intelligent to even care about what ornaments are in their reception area? In fact, you hardly see a single client, just the partners either bonking, fighting or drinking - and the boss is upset that a rival law firm wins an award! Geez - go do some work!
Though I don't know why I'm surprised - this is a film that has to tell it's audience that they are watching a scary sequence by using a red filter and using a really annoying "whispering" sound effect. Well I'm sorry but there were no scares for me, the monster appeared to be more of a big clumsy pest than something to be truly terrified of.
The ending was almost unbelievably unethical, but then I suppose they were supposed to be lawyers after all.
Sorry, but with this film, I had felt like banging nails into myself just to try and stay awake.
Mulberry St (2006)
Great film making on a restricted budget - clever!
Some of the other reviews adequately cover the actual synopsis - I just wanted to comment on the way that Jim Mickle and his team (especially the actors and camera crew) seem to have pulled a rather good rabbit out of a low budget hat.
Using the camera well with a lot of close ups,speeding things up when appropriate to cover for lower budget make-up effects - which I thought were pretty good anyway, creating characters that you actually care about (loved the 2 old guys), and some really nice and clever ideas, like the photo of the 3 main characters held by the army girl, fading over to a different picture from the same film, owned by her father, was very nice. The characters are not idiots, and what a pleasure it was to see people react to danger in a way that you would like to think you would too - instead of the usual imbeciles.
I'd heard that they had to film the outdoor New York scenes on the hoof without permission, but the way it was done, I never really noticed, as I was too drawn up in the story. (I'm in Scotland, so I wouldn't be aware of any technical errors in the locations).
Well done people, a really enjoyable experience. What a contrast to the last film I saw (My Wife and My Dead Wife (1/10)), thanks guys for restoring my faith that there are some film-makers (and indeed talented actors) with intelligence and creativity who can use low budget challenges in a positive manner.
My Wife and My Dead Wife (2007)
Too long - too wooden - ultimately too dull
Featuring a cast of rather listless actors plodding along through what is after all a rather simple story, "My Wife and My Dead Wife" left me feeling this could have been better covered in a half hour episode of the Twilight Zone.
It's shot well enough, and most of the actors aren't that bad (in an amateur dramatic society sort of way) - no, my main gripe goes to the dialogue/script writer (if there was one) and the people who "wrote" the soundtrack - especially the apparently random notes generated by the musical box which gave me a headache, not to mention the Spanish guitar strumming away inappropriately during some scenes, (giving some attempted ethereal moments a spaghetti western flavour).
This movie is as scary or supernatural as an episode of the Simpsons' Tree House of Horror series - in fact I quote (as Homer aka "Graham", the lead man goes up to the attic) "Now, where the hell is that light... doh!" as he bashes his head I assume - and while we're on dialogue, who has ever really said "What a day" (takes a swig of beer), "I'm beat!" **SPOILER AHEAD** This, in short, is a story of a lawyer called Graham, with none too apparent marital problems, who, when moving to a new ACME Spooky House, finds a disappointingly cheap looking musical box which, apart from giving every audience member a migraine, summons a badly acted ghost, who, apart from being generous in the nookie department, continually tells him to TAKE THE NEXT STEP SO THAT THEY CAN BE TOGETHER FOREVER.
This dead wife of the title looks not so much ghostly, as someone who is either a bit "special" or a hippy or both. She's sort of distracted and blank, and oh so wooden. She does seem to nag him quite a bit about taking the NEXT STEP, (she's dead, he's not what could she mean?) while his real wife actually seems quite nice and supportive to him (just don't forget to wash the dishes!) He starts skiving off work to, er, "liaise" with the dead missus, but also continues to have a rare old time with the live wife, and this seems to carry on, and on, and on, in real time, for about a month, with not much more plot development, until he eventually quaffs a nice big bottle of vodka.................. AND TAKES THE NEXT............ oh, that would be telling I suppose.
Oh and a special mention to the lead man Guy Balotine, whose portrayals of "Graham" sober and happy, "Graham" drunk and angry, "Graham" after presumably a bucket of tequila in some bar, and "Graham" getting sacked ...... are all exactly the same.
Finally a genuinely spooky moment I must have dozed off after another scene of Graham skiving off from work, only to wake up with a start, at the same time as Graham on screen wakes up with a start! We looked at each other and I could swear he was thinking what I was thinking
."What the hell am I doing here?"