bakergarrett Reviews

Halloween Ends (2022)

A baffling and bizzare sequel

[3/10 · 16 October 2022]

Halloween Ends is the bizzaro sequel to the blood spewing and silly Halloween Kills and while I hoped it would be different, this was not what I had in mind.

I won't give away stuff, but David Gordon Green has seemed to make all the wrong choices while writing this film, and it was a baffling watch. I loved his low budget indie work and Pineapple Express is hilarious, but I don't think the man knows horror.

Jamie Lee Curtis is in this more than the last, but again she is not the focus, and the grand daughter isn't really either, instead an insanely large chunk of this movie is spent with a new character, who is about as interesting as a saltine cracker. His story really feels pointless and takes up 75 percent of the movie.

Expecting nothing but the worst with his upcoming Exorcist flick.

End of the Road (II) (2022)

Insanely Silly and Awkward

[2/10 · 13 September 2022]

Alot of the reviews here are insanely biased due to hate, witch is a shame to see, and while I don't agree with that, I don't think this movie is any good either.

End of the Road was entertaining but I don't think it was because it was a high octane thrill ride unfortunately. Instead it ended up being insanely Goofy. Everything from the overall story structure, to the over the top Saturday morning cartoon-esque bad guys, to the weird purple hue the movie had during it's night scenes, is insanely akward and feels slapped together.

I actually enjoy Queen Latifah and espically Ludacris as performers. Neither of them are thespians by any means but Latifah was great in the recent Adam Sandler flick "Hustle" while Luda is the most likeable part of the Fast flicks and is great in flicks like Crash and RockenRolla. The two of them really do try their best along with Beau Bridges, but unfortunately none of them have anything to work with due to the insanely shallow writing.

This movie was just so silly, the pinacle of sillyness being a scene where Queen Latifah brawls a group of Neo Nazis. If you want to see Latifah stumble around clobbering racists, then knock yourself out.

Ultrasound (2021)

A Low Budget Mind Bender

[7/10 · 20 June 2022]

Ultrasound is a trippy sci Fi flick, but it doesn't use expensive CGI or action set pieces to blow your mind. Instead Ultrasound uses interesting writing and ideas and good character work, to mystify and intrigue. If your a fan of low budget films, than check out Ultrasound.

On the Count of Three (2021)

Funny and Reletable but also Shocking and Sad

[8/10 · 14 June 2022]

On the Count of three is a funny and dark new film by Jerrod Carmichael who stars along side Christopher Abbott. There two performances make this one of the best movies of 2022. Both these guys are emotional, layered, funny, and even a little scary and make the movie a great experience for fans of acting.

Supporting roles from Henry Winkler, Tiffany Hadish, JB Smoove, and Huel while small, are all played with tip top perfection. This film goes from laugh out loud hilarious to jaw dropping sadness with ease, and not many films can do that.

Check this one out, if you wanna watch something new.

Everything Everywhere All at Once (2022)

The best movie released in the last 3 years

[9/10 · 11 June 2022]

There hasn't been a movie as good as Everything Everywhere All at Once since Uncut Gems and The Lighthouse. This is an amazing movie. It's trippy and visually insane but also beautiful and heart warming. Please watch it.

Vibes (1988)

Was not Vibing with this one

[3/10 · 3 June 2022]

Vibes is an odd movie and not in a good way. It starts promising at research center for psychics and then turns into to a boring Romancing The Stone knockoff, witch was dissapointing to me.

Jeff Goldblum is one of my favorite actors but he seems miscast here. He looks almost a little bored to be frank, but is still one of the only highlights in the flick, due to his "Goldblumness". Cyndi Lauper is likeable enough on her own or in her short scene with the great Steve Buscemi, but her and Goldblum don't have any chemistry together on screen. A romantic comedy without a beileve romance is usually an immediate sink.

Relaxer (2018)

A Story of Pacman and Self Destruction

[8/10 · 16 May 2022]

Relaxer is a very low budget but insanely well crafted movie. If I had to classify Relaxer I'd say it is a character study and a story of self dustruction.

A gaunt and sweaty Joshua Burge stars and he is amazing as this slacker. He is definitely detestable but you can't help but feel some sort of sympathy. His performance is alot of what makes this film good. If you are a fan of low budget movies like me you will be very impressed by what the movie is able to do with it's small budget. I also honestly loved the ending.

Relaxer is not for everyone, some will find it slow and cheap. I found it strange and I found myself unable to take my eyes away.

Permanent Midnight (1998)

Powerful Ben Stiller Performance

[7/10 · 14 May 2022]

The man who brought you Zoolander and Tropic Thunder, acts the hell out this flick. Ben stiller is magnetic on screen as junkie writer in Hollywood. His portrayal is realistic and bold, and he really puts himself out there. This will go down as one of Ben Stiller's best acting.

Unfortunately the writing in the romantic subplot of the film isn't very great or believable, it's still watchable for sure due to Ben Stiller's work but these scenes can be a slog.

I found the rest of the movie great, luckily and if you are into powerful performances, than check this out.

Stay Alive (2006)

Both Cuts are Awful

[2/10 · 13 May 2022]

Both Cuts are really bad. The unrated cut is 15 minutes longer and extremely boring. The added scenes are essential to understanding but they are painfully slow. The theatrical cut is maybe worse as it makes zero sense.

It's a movie about a video game that kills you if you die while playing it. I think you know the quality when you read the premise.

Firestarter (2022)

A Dumpster Fire

[3/10 · 13 May 2022]

Firstarter Is far to much of slog to recommended. I never thought a movie where a girl blasts fire and runs from the government would be so boring. I really did enjoy John Carpenter's score.

That is unfortunately all I liked. The effects while shiny and new but don't have to pop they need to be truley riveting and seem real and the acting from all the other actors was awful. The diolouge is also very poor

The worst part about Firestarter is how boring to watch it is You don't really care what's going on and that is a crime for a movie.

Zathura: A Space Adventure (2005)

Childhood Favorite that Holds Up

[8/10 · 13 May 2022]

As kid born in the very start of the 2000s I watched Zathura countless times on DVD, and it was one of my favorites. Coming back to see it now that I'm in my 20s, I have come to find Zuthera holds up great in fact maybe better than Jumani.

The direction by Jon Favrou is top notched and the writing from Joseph Koepp who penned jurrasic Park is witty and exciting. The special effects in the movie are awesome even now, and there are some legit fun twists in this flick. Watch if you never have seen or want a fun sci Fi flick.

Mars (I) (2010)

Likeable and Strange

[7/10 · 12 May 2022]

Mars won't appeal to everyone that decides to see it. Some will be offput by the lack of action, and those wanting something like Titan AE won't like it either. If you like strange Sci Fi, offbeat Indie flicks, or Richard Linklater Rotoscope movies you will like Mars.

Mars has some fun animation. Mars has some trippy visuals and a great performance from Mark Duplass. It's effortless charming and likeable if you like indie films. I was really impressed for what the director did with the budget.

Supernova (I) (2000)

Late 90s junk

[3/10 · 4 May 2022]

Even though SuperNova was technically dropped in the year 2000, it has late 90s trash written all over it. Everything that was wrong with late 90s cinema is all over this movie. Poorly written characters running around and encountering Xbox graphics was the rage then, and this flick has that in spades. The plot is awful and barely makes any sense.

James Spader is actually pretty good with what he has along with all 7 seconds of the late great Robert Forester. The stowaway they pick up is actually awful in this movie not a line he says is convincing and a lot of time is spent with him.

Skip this watch Sunshine 2008.

Bats (1999)

Crappy Bat Effects

[2/10 · 2 May 2022]

When I watch a monster movie I don't expect a ton. I am not expecting top class acting and insane twists and turns.

However I do want to see some gnarly and cool looking creature effects and Bats doesn't have it that at all. For a movie of it's budget the effects in Bats should look better than they are, and I'm not just talking about the awful late 90s CGI, but the actual practical bats legitimately look like rubber Halloween bats from party city.

This sucked I felt bad for Lou Diamond Philips it looked like he wanted a nap the whole time he was on screen.

In Too Deep (1999)

Good directing keeps this cliche story soild

[7/10 · 1 May 2022]

In Too Deep has a script you've seen before, possibly better. That doesn't mean In Too Deep isn't worth checking out, because it does boast good directing, a dope soundtrack, and soild performances around the board..Omar Epps is likeable as the lead and LL Cool J is actually pretty scary as a drug dealer. The high light might be Stanley Tucci who is magnetic as usual. The directing of the film is also extremely good and until the last 5 minutes, the movie has great pacing.

The problem with In Too Deep is that you have seen this type of movie before so don't expect a ton of surprises. It also has a mildly boring romantic sub plot. Still I found in too deep very entertaining.

Cypress Hill: Insane in the Brain (2022)

Fun documentary for fans

[7/10 · 1 May 2022]

This is a fun documentary on one of my favorite rap groups, Cypress Hill. This had lots of fun stories from B Real, Muggz, and Send Dogg and every single one was extremely interesting. It was awesome to hear the old demos of their first tape and to hear B Real find his voice. It also spent a lot more time on there 2000s catalog witch I found neat.

My main complaint is that Black Sunday wasn't touched a ton, and temple of Boom was not talked about at all witch was dissapointing, still this is a great documentary for hip hop and weed heads. Prolly closer to a 6 than a 8 but still gas.

Sabotage (2014)

Brutal and Violent but not very fun.

[3/10 · 28 April 2022]

Sabotage is another crime movie by David Ayer who wrote the amazing "Training Day" and directed the extremely soild "End of Watch". This one stars everyone's favorite Austrian Muscle mass Arnie along side Sam Worthington and Terrence Howard as DEA agents who get in over their head.

This movie was almost like a slasher flick with muscle men as each member of the team dies like final destination character, exploding in huge gory chunks. This would be fun if the plot was interesting as it's all stuff you've seen before. Not a single character is likeable, they all curse like sailers and harass each other and strangers. The acting ranges from fun (Arnold) to awful (redhead lady). I'd say skip this one watch training day.

Detention (2011)

A movie with ADHD

[1/10 · 10 April 2022]

This hyperactive flick has flickers of amusement but is mostly just loud and annoying. Characters talk purley in pop culture references and texting slang to the point where entire scenes sometimes sound like nonsense. The movie legit can not focus and has a million plot points surprisingly and none of them really seem like they do anything to the plot. The camera is constantly whipping around from character to the character, as they spout 90s movie references.

If doesn't help that the movie looses all steam in it's bizarre third act. The killer reveal doesn't make a lot of sense. This was a weird mix of Scream, YouTube conedy, and Icarly that I am telling you to skip.

Texas Chainsaw Massacre (2022)

Possibly the worst one yet

[2/10 · 6 April 2022]

I haven't liked a Texas Chainsaw movie in awhile. I greatly enjoy the first two, and I even think the 2003 version is a pretty good rendition. All the other sequels and reboots range from bad to awful and none of them capture the grittyness of the first flick. This is maybe the worst one. This just feels like a direct to video generic slasher.

The new characters are all awful and obnoxious, I couldn't remember a name of anyone or a line if money was on the line. I also felt like a lot of the movie feels like a ripoff of the subpar Danny McBride Halloween from a couple years ago. This was just boring

This is gore soaked trash. At least the Matthew McConaughey one and the 3D one are laughably bad.

Dead Man's Shoes (2004)

Haunting and powerful

[9/10 · 1 April 2022]

Dead Man's shoes is one of the best revenge films ever made, and maybe one of the best films to come out of the UK. The less you know about it the better but know that Dead Man's Shoes is not an easy walk. The film is drenched in meloncholy and while the movie is not extremely graphic, it is extremely suspenseful and dark in it's tone and themes.

If you want something that isn't sunshine and rainbows than you can't get better than Dead Man's shoes.

Safe Men (1998)

Very amusing but extremely sloppy

[3/10 · 31 March 2022]

Safe Men is an amusing enough comedy staring an amazing cast. Everyone in this movie is hilarious espically Paul Giamonti and Mark Ruffalo are hilarious even if they don't have the most screen time. Our leads Steve Zahn and Sam Rockwell are a fun bumbling duo.

While there is a good amount of witty jokes and the characters are definitely fun, the script is messy and unfocused and the directing is tv level. The movie bounces from one plot line to the next and the stakes never feel real. I wouldn't ever rent this but if it's free on streaming check it out.

Windfall (2022)

A slowburn but worth watching

[7/10 · 24 March 2022]

I think people just don't have any patience when it comes to films reading some of the other reviews tbh. If you need constant noise and gun fights then skip this one.

If you are looking for a interesting character based home invasion thriller, then Windfall is the movie to see. The acting from the three main characters were all amazing, my favorite being Jesse Plemmons as a sniveling businessman. The cinematography and score was also great, with long stressful takes, and a soundtrack that reminded me of There Will Be Blood.

The movie does seem like it could of used another re-write if it wanted to be one of the year's stand outs, but still a good flick.

Spaced Cats (2020)

This had to be a tax write off scheme or something

[1/10 · 11 February 2022]

This is legit unwatchable. I am one of the 9 morons who thought the poster looked so strange that they just had to see what it was. What I saw can only be described as some sort of tax write of scheme. This can barely be considered a movie.

This feels like some sort of trick or scam.

Ava (IV) (2020)

Wtf happened here

[2/10 · 27 January 2022]

Ava is shockingly bad. Espically cause it's cast is extremely talented. I heard there was a director switch and re shoots and it shows cause Ava is a mess.

Jessica Chastain and Common are awful even though I have liked them in other things. John Malkovitch and Colin Ferrel do fine but they both look like they rather be doing other, better movies.

This was a slog to get through and a mix of like six other movies about female assassins. Go watch Atomic Blonde, Kill Bill, or Long Kiss Goodnight if that's what you want to watch.

Mad God (2021)

Stop-Motion Insanity!

[8/10 · 20 January 2022]

Mad God is Phill Tippit's dream project. If you don't know Phil Tippit is the genius behind a lot of your favorite 80s stop motion effects. This movie was 30 years in the making and to me it was worth the wait.

The movie has some of the finest stop motion out to film. The designs for the creatures and the world are truley hellish and unique and Mad God is for sure the most creative flick I saw this year.