dmckenzie1981 Reviews

1923: One Ocean Closer to Destiny (2023) Season 1, Episode 6

The show is adrift

[2/10 · 14 February 2023]

I realise the show requires character development and context, but gee... with nearly 50% of the episode dedicated to watching Spencer shiver on a capsized boat while um, generic pretty blonde, whimpers and makes inaudible groans, was coma inducing.

With the episode fittingly moved about as fast as a turning tide, and proving equally soppy, we hadn't advanced the story beyond a day.

In other news, Jacob was able to grumble his way up a dirt path, and Aminah, running from the hideous, cruel and indoctrinating Catholics got five mins of screen time, which gave her enough time to put on a pair of pants.

By the end, Spencer was no closer to America, Aminah was forgotten, and the audience closer to joining dots on lineage, or much else for that matter.

With the slow burn leading up to an ending with only two episodes to go, you'd be able to cram more into Lizzo's lunch box. So, this episode should have moved the story much further.. 2/10.

Moonlight (I) (2016)

Cute for insomnia

[3/10 · 7 December 2022]

Seriously, I know artsy fartsy movies are what pretentious critics happily swill their glass of wine over while lobbying for a Academy Award but come on.. This is three acts of basically nothing, which goes absolutely nowhere except for natural life progression.

While the acting is solid, waiting for something, anything to happen, is the only interesting thing in this film.

Dull, one paced, confusing and unfulfilled, it just ends with no pay off or interest.

An absolute howler which is heavily overrated due to its ticking of boxes like LGTBQIA+, and a virtue signal at its finest.

Stay away and stay awake.

Yellowstone (2018– )

They should rename it Beth

[8/10 · 5 December 2022]

I loved the first four seasons, but the new season is so Beth-centric, it's lost its spark. While Beth in small doses made for a great sub plot, her brooding, anger, hate and self destructive attitude as the central character has become so annoying and tedious, I found myself cheering for Jamie to punch the accelerator and run right through her.

Every time a new sub plot pops up, there's Beth to skull a vodka and storm out of the room, or sit at the table and whinge. There's still time to salvage things, but more Casey, Rip, John and the Cowboys, and less Beth, would go a long way to getting back on track.

The Mighty Ducks: Game Changers: Ice Breaker (2022) Season 2, Episode 1

Ducks don't fly together?

[5/10 · 28 September 2022]

Weird start to season two. Clearly we knew that Gordon Bombay was out as Emilio Estevez wouldn't bow to the jab, but there's no "he's on holiday" or "moved away", nope, no mention at all. The Ice Palace sunk and it appears he went with it.

Same with the chick who wore the cape, and the kid who loved his hair... they too have just fallen off the face of the earth. And, the rest of the team head to Summer Camp as if they never existed.

That aside, and the fact Esteves carried the franchise, it also seemed more cheesy, and the mum the same seems hellbent on socially torching multiple teens' social lives. ... Confusing for viewers and an average start.

Backcountry (I) (2014)

Rang the dinner bell for the bear

[2/10 · 18 November 2021]

When entering bear country: Hang up blood-soaked socks and food; choose not to take a map; take no protective equipment or weapons, and make sure that when you're lost and find flowing water, whatever you do, don't use common sense and follow it downstream as you may just find your way out.

Idiots...

Hightown (2020–2024)

Decent watch, but you'll be going for the bad guys

[7/10 · 26 October 2021]

As the headline suggests, High Town is a good watch. It has a strong storyline with a pace that keeps moving. Tick!

Although, the problem is that the protagonists are completely impossible to like or empathise with, which makes it hard to fully embrace .

One lead, Jackie, is a pervy, creepy, alcoholic, drug-fuelled sex pest who can't open the front door without messing it up, and the other, Ray, is a narcissistic, lying, arrogant, manipulator, who uses his badge for the sole purpose of trying to get laid.

Seriously, watch it and you'll be actively cheering for antagonists in Osito and Frankie to sink the slipper in and ride off into the sunset.

All that aside, there is enough narrative and direction to keep you watching.

Once Upon a Time... in Hollywood (2019)

Acting lesson

[10/10 · 8 August 2021]

The finest acting you'll ever see on film. Brad Pitt has always been strongly underrated for his acting ability, but he can't be denied here.

And Leonardo Di Caprio.. just wow.. the greatest actor of a generation, if not all.

Acting, comedy, satire, storyline, script, everything about this movie is amazing, and a rare gem in a sea of modern dross driven by special effects.

10/10.

Nobody (I) (2021)

Finally.

[10/10 · 20 June 2021]

Finally!! A true, fast-paced, hard hitting action movie the way they are meant to be.

No idiocy or a reliance on superheroes or stupid special effects.

A throwback to the great days of action films.

Also, finally Bob Odenkirk gets the starring role he should have had years ago.

11/10.

On My Block (2018– )

Acting lesson

[9/10 · 4 April 2019]

This is a great show from a writing standpoint, but elevating it further is the talent of the cast. These kids give an acting lesson, with each totally committed to their respective characters, which results in perfect storytelling. The comedy is sensational, and a throwback to witty funny, long before the crude, slapstick comedy thrown at us these days took over. Recommend it to anyone. Brilliant.

Trainwreck (2015)

The worst crash in the history of film

[1/10 · 25 March 2019]

Quite simply put, this is the worst movie I have ever seen. I even thought I'd wait to see if I softened in my views over time, but nope... A couple of years on, the feelings are just as strong. Amy Schumer isn't funny; in fact she's infuriating. The water thin script, which is also completely unfunny, comes across as adlibed for 99% of the movie. I could go on... The one redeeming quality would have been that it would have finally ended, but like me, I'm sure most would be pressing stop well before that point. Absolute garbage.

Summer Heights High (2007)

Humour at its best

[10/10 · 29 October 2018]

Summer Heights High is pure comedic and satirical genius, but also a throwback to a time we could have a laugh and poke fun at ourselves without taking said selves to seriously. This show is the antithesis of lame modern comedy that's based around slapstick humour and talking really loudly. In modern times, rarely does a show dare to touch on stereotypes, race and other "sensitive" issues, but Summer Heights High does it perfectly while sharply reminding society of a time when the rage machine didn't find a way to be insulted or triggered by anything and everything. Perfect characters, perfect script and intensely funny. As good as it gets.

Jaws: The Revenge (1987)

Are you in hell or just watching Jaws: The Revenge?

[1/10 · 25 March 2015]

So you're sitting on the couch, all of a sudden it gets really hot. Now the room is on fire, then you're on fire and you're screaming in pain.. good news: nothing's on fire and you're not in hell. Bad news: you're brain believes you are as you're watching Jaws The Revenge... Now, I'm sure there are plenty like me that think "Jaws" is the greatest movie ever made. I'm also certain there are equally as many that believe this film is the worst. How was this ever made? And more importantly, why? "spoiler alert" it sux.. we start on familiar ground in Amity where Sean, the younger bro from the first three is now the local cop. On cue he is attacked by a shark and killed. Was it a random attack? Umm nope.. it was a shark exacting revenge on the Brody family. Are you still with me? Or have you raced to the kitchen to stick cocktail umbrella's in your eyeballs? Well the nonsense doesn't end there. The shark decides to stalk Ellen Brody to the Bahamas where she is heading to see suddenly ineptly retarded older brother, Michael who is now a marine biologist (ofcourse he is). What unfolds in the plot is the true horror of the film and sheer torture for any Jaws fan. Upon trying to exact revenge, the shark manages to navigate to the Bahamas, following Brody (in 3 days, impressive huh). Upon trying to exact revenge, the devolved remaining Brody clan decide to make it easy and sound all their time in the water. Perhaps the most bewildering aspect is why Michael Cain turned up? attempt at career suicide? Well he manages to crash his plane in the water, get attacked my the shark, but pop up on the Brody boat cracking jokes, completely dry in a newly pressed shirt...ummm. Well if you're not screaming and stabbing at your eyes by this point, you soon will be. Newly retarded Michael Brody comes up with a hair brained scream to electric shock the shark to death by putting a receiver in its mouth which shocks it when he turns the nob on his fisher price like "shock machine". Well while this unfolds, his equally bad friend, Jake, predictably gets attacked then disappears (presumably eaten) Well the shark makes a turn and comes in head on, while Michael turns his knob. Impossibly and ridiculously, each shock send the shark skyward like flipper and it sits out of the water roaring like a lion (yep that happened). To put us out of our misery, the last shock causes it to sit up in front of the boat and be stabbed by the boat, causing it to blow up.. yep, stabbing it with wood makes it blow up. It's safe to say that the old saying: don't go back in the water, applies here...don't go back in as you will no doubt drown by laughing to death. This is such a slaughter of the Jaws franchise and also (somehow) Manages to be worse than Jaws 3. Grab the cocktail umbrellas or perhaps take the toaster into the bath. It will be less painful than watching the revenge.