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mitchellwelch-36896
Reviews
Suicide Squad (2016)
Yikes! weaksauce...
I wanted to like this film.. clearly retarded motivations works for the cast of It's Always Sunny in Philly (we need welfare money, time to smoke crack)..but here, no logic.
I cringe at the generic villain of this film.. Flag, the team's babysitter. Has a babysitter for himself in Katana, which I kind of tossed in with the other SS members even though she traps souls in her sword which is a little too cool to dismiss so easily, but anywho.. Flag in a relationship with Enchantress' vessel June, was introduced at the time we were populating the squad with blocks of cheese as anti-heroes. So at the same time the SS was being assembled, the villain of our movie was farmed in house by Waller, This was sooooo lazy...soooo confusing.. I thought Enchantress was gonna be a team member because of the love for Flag.. the villain of this movie was farmed from the same boardroom meeting that was to green light the squad's members.WTF. I know, you could have spent those brain cells you just lost on something productive like taking drugs, but no.
moving on.. I only liked El Diablo, as it was the only anti-hero that seemed like a human being you may know. His powers came with a terrible price, so his reluctance seemed like the only proper writing in the entire movie. That, and he could BBQ everything in the movie if he wanted which would destroy the need for a team to begin with.
The Joker was not menacing, Jared Leto made him cartoon-ish and entirely laughable. Colorful, but even when him & Harley kill Common's character..the taste of WTF in my mouth was never far. I remember Joker being annoyed by Harley, she was the Joker's tool-bag assistant. Why all the romance? the producers playing Chuck Woolry or something??? they want Jared & Margot to hook up like the stars of Mr. & Mrs. Smith??? I dunno..WTF. just wanted Joker to be as I love him (even though I'm a marvel & Image guy) intensely homicidal in his psychosis. insta-ultra-violent clown, what is so hard to understand about that?!
I just get the impression that I, a mortal, solo, could snatch the life out of every one of these characters like I was ordering a pizza delivered.. well, all of em' except El Diablo.
Have plenty of respect for Ben Affleck's skills, but he looks like a hoe-cake in the Bat costume, this confuses me. No batman for me, for like a decade I guess. Perhaps it was his fight sequence with Jenn Garner's Electra in Daredevil, If it was a real world fight... I would have put twenty beanz on Jenn via KO in the 3rd. (/sigh)
Evan Peter's Quicksilver sequences in both of the X-Men films he was in, are just waaaaaaaaay tighter and more entertaining than Suicide Squad was as a whole.
Will Smith is still cooler than the other side of the pillow, but he couldn't save this tripe. There simply isn't any actual story telling going on with this film.
Watch Ant-man again instead. A complete film with origin perfectly paced throughout the story. With Suicide Squad there can be no sequel.. only reboot.
Unfriended (2014)
Subtle Creepy
The main character's thought-process was perceivable via deleted answers and retyping various responses. Had an interesting feel that sort of isolated your spook level to Blair's. The film is 1 long screen-capture of what Blair has going on online on a school night. What starts as some natural shooting-the-shiz with her inner circle of homies on Skype, starts to reveal a common thread of teenage believable backstabbing & douchebaggery. All are guilty to varying degrees, but like I say believable..This group had all cyber-bullied anonymously or contributed to harsh trolling and treatment of the ghost of our story. So, everyone gets theirs..but not without liking the characters, even if just a little before they get off'd. This is good, we have been in phases like these ourselves, had many friends like these characters at some point. Groovy film, this method seems to have styled budget constraints well.
Pretty Pimpin Job there partypeoples!! 7&1/2*s easy
The Gallows (2015)
Weexsauce...
Now as far as ghost antagonists go, The Gallows wasted what could have been a decent horror entity. Freddy Kruger had his bladed glove/gauntlet, Leather-face his chainsaw, and this vengeful spirit had a noose which could be placed around a victim's neck without notice (even be invisible) and violently pull them in any direction(not just up). COMPLETELY sounds like my type of horror film, armed to the teeth with potential for "heebie jeebiez" or chills up one's spine. This flick wasted that potential. The shaky cam thing is waaaaaaay to overdone at this point, this film might as well have been shot on a quickly-becoming-obsolete-smart-phone's camera. Give one to each character to justify all the nauseating shakes and movement. This is the worst I have ever seen in the found footage realm, as if nothing had been learned from other found-footage failures. Not a singular fook will be given about these characters by any viewer, and the rational driving this "shin-dig"/plot will anger you. I can't comprehend the premise to making this film, but as I said the Ghost's weapon of choice(obviously his own demise as well) was decent so...2 outta 10 for a fifth...and if "IF" was a fifth, we'd all be drunk instead of watching this. d-_^b