edpond Reviews

We Summon the Darkness (2019)

Fail Satan

[2/10 · 18 August 2022]

After the admittedly good twist, the acting goes out the window and is hammed up to the max, and hundreds of stupid decisions are made by the characters.

Doesn't really seem like the late 80s either.

It's a waste of potential, as the idea isn't bad. Needed to think outside the slasher box, flesh the conspiracy angle out more and set the action in different places.

Final Cut (1998)

Needed More Cuts

[3/10 · 16 November 2021]

There's an interesting film in here somewhere, but it needs to be thought out a bit more, and rather more subtle. The very crude and lowbrow parts just dominate and make it unable to reach the league that the filmmakers want it to be in - a Danny Boyle film say. It just isn't sophisticated enough at is core for that - partly because it isn't fully written. You can show debauched and shallow characters without sinking to their level. And for a movie supposedly about reality, it just isn't believable.

'Operation Good Guys' gets away with it because of some fine character work from David Gillespie and because it's a comedy. 'Love, Honour and Obey', again is a dark comedy about the violent world of gangsters, so it sort of works. But this is supposed to be a drama about some affluent media types in West London - yet they also act like gangsters, beating up people in restaurants over drug deals, double teaming prostitutes and sticking pool cues up their bottoms for a laugh. It is not believable, and nor is it necessary.

It has nothing intelligent to say about the seediness it depicts, it just is seedy. Indeed, Ray Burdis says in the commentary this is based on a time where the 'Good Guys' group put hidden cameras in the toilet during house parties.

Jude Law is quite charismatic in the film, but the others are basically scenery chewing. The moment that lost me (and it took me over an hour, for my sins) is where (poorly acted) Bill brutally punches a woman just because she wants to leave the video screening. I could not work out why he needed to do that or why we needed to see it. Another thing that puzzles me is surely the friends all knew that Jude was stabbed to death in his own home, so surely they would suspect something was up when the screening was called? They don't act like he was murdered at the start - more like illness or a car accident.

A waste of an opportunity and some great music. Worth a watch if you're a low budget filmmaker and want to know what pitfalls to avoid, or you are a fan of 'Good Guys'.

The Informant (1997)

Not worth the Troubles

[4/10 · 10 November 2021]

Don't think I've ever seen so many characters behaving so stupidly or unbelievably in one film:

-The wife tells her mum the address of the safe house, then goes off on her own when she's clearly at risk from reprisals - cue nasty rape scene. Even if she was angry at her husband turning informant, she would know that she and her son would be in danger. On top of that, nobody keeps an eye on her.

-The soldier guesses something is up with the bike, in a warzone city known for its IEDs, then proceeds to go right next to it and hang around. Boom.

-A battle hardened ex IRA terrorist needs someone to hold his hand in court.

-The court for a high profile terrorist murder case is allowed to be filled with a baying Republican crowd.

-They let a kid in witness protection go out on his own, then the kid steals a gun and tries to shoot some other kids.

-A kid who's knees have been blown off is super keen to help out the group that did it (the terrorist did apologise to him and ask nicely after all).

-The IRA somehow can find out exactly when and where a particular soldier is out on patrol, ID him and shoot at him. Also as the soldier is so important in an operation, the Army let him go on normal patrols where he could die.

-A soldier involved in a terrorist case thinks it's a good idea to take his girlfriend to meet the ex-terrorist. And the list goes on.

It's terrible writing, suspect acting, poor use of music (that Stiff Little Fingers track stopping and starting). Dalton's presence is good, but even he can't save it - certainly not with that accent, they should have made him a Special Branch Brit. It's good there is some balance and a comment on the horrors of civil war, but it's pretty poor.

Yanks (1979)

Dry Yank

[5/10 · 10 October 2021]

Staging is good. Idea is good. The acting of Redgrave and Eichorn is good. That's about it.

Plot and dialogue is terrible, and some acting is suspect. What is the connection between Helen and Jean's family? Why does Gere stop halfway when he's having sex with Jean? Why does Devane fly Helen to Ireland randomly - and is that meant to be UK controlled Northern Ireland, or the neutral Republic?

It's just without any substance at its core. There's no real sense of peril, or any (even implied) horrors of war - they just go from party to party. There's hardly any examination of cultural differences. The movie takes so much time to show us so little, and then it ends.

Quite honestly you're better off watching the Dad's Army episode 'My British Buddy' and the Britain-set scenes in 'Band of Brothers'.

The Medusa Touch (1978)

Gone for a Burton

[6/10 · 8 October 2021]

It's hard to know how to take Burton's character. With everyone he 'kills' there is some motive, if not logical justification (maybe not his parents), and when he starts to blend his telekinetic hits with the political theories he's forming, you begin to empathise with him somewhat. Then, however, he crashes the airliner just to prove a point to his psychologist. Why? What did those people do? Ditto for destroying the whole cathedral and (implied) the nuclear power station.

Perhaps the moral murkiness is the point. Perhaps his terrible 'power' has has twisted him - and we need to see him step beyond the pale for dramatic reasons. Is he a psychopath who has some logic, but equal degrees of insanity? Maybe the power is working through him as a conduit and he can't really determine the victims. Are we to think that all of the disasters in his scrapbook are his doing, or is he just have an interest in them?

This is all thought provoking, but is it inconsistent? You decide.

As a movie, it has a nice, faintly camp, retro appeal. The music is pure late 70s synthesiser. It's tense, and despite a slow start, soon gets you rather hooked - in a sort of casual enjoyment way. The effects are a bit of a let down - the plane crash and the cathedral collapse especially. I would have given a 7, but the collapse and the subsequent ending wasn't quite up to scratch (including when he runs in and unplugs Burton, and the doctors barely react). Burton is effortlessly creepy and misanthropic, giving it a fair bit of gravitas.

A bit of a silly retro chiller in the vein of 'The Twilight Zone' and 'Tales of the Unexpected' to enjoy with a few drinks.

No Time to Die (2021)

Bad Time

[5/10 · 3 October 2021]

You can't kill James Bond, especially when it's obvious it's a publicity gimmick and they will just do a reboot in ten years, where he's a different race or gender or whatever.

The film's plot and dialogue is pretty weak. The villain hardly does anything and there's loads of personal stuff eating up time. It's not as 'woke' as I thought it would be, although that said perhaps killing Bond is the ultimate woke statement. I didn't hold out much hope for this, as Spectre was also dreadful, but even so I feel pretty cheated.

It looks good and has some decent action. The kid is a nice touch and the CIA girl was cool. That's it really.

Stephen (2021)

Solid and moving, but is Coogan miscast?

[7/10 · 28 September 2021]

It's a well made and moving drama about an emotive and thought provoking event which touched a nerve in the country for so long.

On Steve Coogan - I love him, but I am not sure he is suited to this. Maybe if he underplayed the 'gruff London copper' routine it would be OK - but as it is, the portrayal is a distraction. The character is empathetic, but you can't get away from 'watching Steve Coogan'. Not saying he can't do serious things - Philomena worked and 24 Hour Party People and even Partridge has some gritty parts. Here - I'm not so sure. But it is well worth a look.

The only other criticism I have is a bit of a political agenda coming into it. There are several references to Johnson as if to suggest the current PM influences racism in the country. The Mrs Lawrence character also seems to be hinting at other unresolved problems with racism in our culture. Another scene shows her getting carjacked (this did happen) and the policeman dealing with the complaint seems to deliberately underserve her because of who she is. Don't think it needed that. Generally though, it doesn't overdo this angle as it might have done, but I would have avoided it.

A decent miniseries about a tragic case.

Ted Lasso (2020–2023)

Funerals + sleazy women = funny

[5/10 · 28 September 2021]

The tenth episode of Series 2 shows everything wrong with this series. There's a scene at the funeral for the boss's father. She and her obnoxious friends are acting totally inappropriately in some back room.

Her mother (widowed) and the daughter of the horrendous 'Sass' come in and say something like 'we've been told to get you to keep it down - the vicar is soooo angry, lolz'.

Yes, because you are acting disgustingly at a FUNERAL in his CHURCH, joking around luridly about which teenage boy the 60 year old boss is having sex with, swigging STOLEN COMMUNION WINE. Of course he's angry, and we don't blame him.

We get it, you're all 'empowered' women. It's working out so great for you, isn't it.

I give the series a 5 as a whole only because Series 1 was solidly made, but it's buying into its own hype, and ultimately at its heart is a vacuous and ugly ethos dressed up as wholesomeness. Characters have a bolted on arc every episode, yet they learn and achieve nothing.

Hunters (2020–2023)

Lurid misfiring trash

[4/10 · 28 November 2020]

I'm on episode 2. The acting is so over the top. Every time the young Nazi speaks there is spooky music. Episode 1 was interesting, but now it's become a knock off Tarantino Avengers Assemble type deal. Overbearing humour, breaking fourth wall, shades of woke politics, lurid Holocaust scenes and extremely poor taste. Why is a nun, a Foxy Brown woman and a Chinese chap in a Jewish vigilante gang? This makes Inglorious B...... look subtle and sensitive. Utter trash.

The Professor and the Madman (2019)

An unrelentingly bleak, melodramatic, pretentious drag

[1/10 · 14 November 2020]

Could not make it through this. There were the ingredients for an entertaining film here, but every five minutes someone has a mental breakdown or is giving some hyperbolic speech. The pacing was totally off.

Just wanted a witty, intriguing film about writing a dictionary. Not a psychological ordeal. It reminded me of the recent butchered version of A Christmas Carol in its continual disturbed bleakness. Darkness is fine, but you need some lightness to make a film palatable.

More Steve Coogan, less histrionics.

Cold Courage (2020)

Cold Sick

[1/10 · 9 September 2020]

What is this awful rot? The main actors can hardly speak in English, let alone act. It's like watching paint dry and seems to be quite anti British to boot. The awesome Simm must have needed the cash.

Prime Suspect: Tennison (2017)

Suspect Writing

[5/10 · 3 September 2020]

During the bank robbery, why did they not put officers on the exit of the shop? Why did the officer moving on the woman stand about in full view of the lookout they knew was there?

Too many coincidences.

Neil from The Inbetweeners is unbelievable as a 'competent' policeman. Why did he violently beat the dealer like that? We were expected to think it was OK.

The DI's voice is over the top.

Music, setting and Tennyson are good. But let down by dreadful writing. Good they cancelled it.

The Sinking of the Laconia (2010– )

Sub-Par

[4/10 · 17 June 2018]

Nobody talks like this. The characterisation is flat with no clear motivations. Why does the British officer feel so betrayed by the German woman? 'You lied to me' - he's known her for about one day, and she didn't want to give herself away, obviously... The plot plods from one quasi-intellectual soliloquy to another. The whole thing is pretentious playwright preaching which detracts from the sad true incident it is based on.

The Alf Garnett Saga (1972)

Done 'Til Death

[1/10 · 27 December 2015]

What the hell happened here? The ground-breaking and brilliant scripted sitcom, which was made into the good quality 1969 first spin-off film, is now kicked "'til death'" by this super-cheap and contradictory offering. The main problem, aside of the tacky look and poor plot structure, is the fact that the offensive elements seem to be lacking the irony that made them so effective before.

In the series and first film, Alf Garnet would say some appalling and cringe-inducing racist, classist and sexist things - using these to support a world view which was often ridiculous. Juxtaposition would be provided by the 'Scouse git' Mike, Rita, and to a degree Else Garnet. Their more liberal views would expose Alf for what he was. Here, the characters of Mike and Rita are not just recast with vastly inferior actors: their characters are changed as well. Rita simply has none of her wit, and is a shallow ineffectual figure. Mike is a benefits scrounging, promiscuous drug taker. He runs about leering at girls with a mate played by someone I think was in the 'Confessions' films. Later he uses the very horrendous racist slurs that Alf does. Him being a benefits scrounger waving wads of money around at drug dealers and 'loose' women is playing into the ideas right wing tabloids would have us believe. Alf would likely, and probably has, ranted about such things in the past - and been seen to be misguided. So this, combined with Mike's overt sexism and frequent use of the C-word (the other one), means he is no longer the comic foil. The series was all about those two facing each other off - often literally. Without an effective opponent for Alf, this film is largely rendered an offence fest without much to balance it out. Political discussions are also not so commonplace - slapstick, buffoonery and 70s exploitation taking precedence.

I can see it would have been interesting for Mike to find some racist tendencies in himself when faced with Rita's apparent affair with a rich black man - it would be out of character, but with the right treatment could be posing some intriguing questions about the nature of prejudice. Similarly, if the affair was more plausible (some chemistry between them - some idea who the guy is) that story element could work. But it isn't, and it doesn't. The film seems to realise about this, and gets bored, just letting the whole thing fizzle away. New obnoxious-model Mike is simply forgiven after cheating on Rita, and they run off to bed. Great. That showed him then. Then Alf accidentally takes LSD with 'hilarious' consequences - I've never dropped acid, but I shouldn't think it's like that. Then he sets the bed on fire, gets sprayed by an extinguisher and the film ends. It's all just a sloppy rush job. There seems to be no point in the subplot with the couple played by John Le Mesurier and Nursie from 'Blackadder'. There are some iffy celebrity cameos, not least from George Best ,and the geography of London is twisted out of all recognition. And that's just a handful of observations.

Why the writer Johnny Speight or Warren Mitchell let this become so shoddy, or the great John Le Mesurier agreed to be in it, is beyond me. Speight and Mitchell did arguably make mistakes in doing the two sequel series, which went on beyond the death (Dandy Nichols) and departures of key actors - and the Garnet character was still in use in the 90s for goodness sake! So I suppose they were dining out on their very popular creation. But this film takes the biscuit: disturbingly it was made before the original series ended - very early on. To be fair, Mitchell - who sadly died this year - is still at his manic best here, except for the woeful acid scene. And Dandy Nichols is reliably decent as Else. But the whole rotten structure around them sabotages that: it's simply a pale incarnation of TDUDP, which seems to have been rightly forgotten.

The Dark (2005)

One of the bored for one of the confused

[2/10 · 2 October 2015]

This is generally overwrought and feels far too long in terms of the limited story it's telling. Despite this, it seems like a lot may have been left on the cutting room floor. There's a lot of darting around in the narrative between the flashbacks and present day, and on focus on certain characters and motifs. The result is a sense that the editors and director have lost control of the movie, and that they can't decide what they want to say or how.

A bit of discipline could have helped, maybe forcing out certain elements and stylistic flourishes to keep the narrative more streamlined. I'm thinking especially in the latter part of the film here. At this point I think it goes into too many horror film territories, as if deciding it has to appeal to more eclectic and contemporary tastes.

The acting is appalling from the three female characters, two of whom are children - though the worst is from Maria Bello. The fact there is the arbitrary American in order to boost the film's transatlantic profile we'll gloss over. Why does she have to scream, shout, and thrash around so much? You feel a lack of sympathy with her, and her daughter. When the film ramps up in the later stages the child actors really overact. Direction could be partly to blame on this front.

Sean Bean manages his usual capable and impassioned job, and is believable. Also good is the understated and studied handyman character.

In conclusion, this is a mess with a lot of shouting, running, swimming and smashing things. The rather underused Welsh mythology concept could have been developed better within the piece, making for a less generic horror film. Crucially it isn't scary, or interesting, or emotionally moving. You're soon looking to see how long is left and considering making a cup of tea.

Inbred (2011)

'The Sh**ter Man'

[1/10 · 2 October 2015]

There may have been some potential for a more understated and tasteful film here, like the also British based 'Straw Dogs' or 'The Wicker Man'. Alas, it went for the 'torture porn' thing and had dubious politics. Mix this with shoddy writing, acting, and technical production, and you have a real stinker.

I'm not really into the 'Saws' and 'Hostels' of this world, but they at least were slickly created. The film felt nasty, tawdry and gratuitous, which is not always a damning problem for a horror movie. It is trying to create horror, after all. To make for staying power, this however needs to be balanced with some social commentary or morality, and 'Inbred' does not do it (well, the name would suggest this).

What you get instead is a rather racist portrayal of Yorkshire and the countryside in general. The antagonists are written off as freaks, which just appears dismissive of mental illness and disability. What you should do is get inside the antagonists' personal motivations - them simply doing bad things because they are 'inbred' is reactionary and not good enough. The ending lacks morality also.

There are some odd traditions up North and in rural England, some involving plays or parades with blacked up (not to resemble black people, incidentally) characters. There was some mileage in that concept - but they just squandered it. Avoid like those social workers and kids really should have done.

War Book (2014)

Drama destroyed by C bombs

[1/10 · 11 August 2015]

Terrible. What could have been a realistic, well executed factual based drama just didn't stand a chance amidst pretentious writing, smug hysterical acting and a script full of gratuitous swearing and vulgarity. It thinks it is 'The Thick of It' but: 1. is nowhere as inspired and 2. the subject does not warrant that style of humour when not in a zany 'Dr Strangelove' world. A scene where a male civil servant initiates sex in the briefing room is ridiculous.There is arbitrary tension between the characters, furnished by fs and cs (lots of cs). The seemingly factual details which our protagonists share with one another are the only thing saving this. So the researchers did their job, while everyone else went to town like A level drama students. As a fan of films on this sort of subject, I was left angered at the missed opportunity. How this made it through the script editing process I'll never know.