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alvinllo
Reviews
Yorktown (2011)
Pretty much run of the mill
Large group of friends visit old abandoned building and get dispatched in mostly bloodless ways.
Not horrible, not great, just run of the mill. Cringe worthy acting, some really awful sound/lighting issues. Some scenes were too dark. Badly edited too. I'm used to all of that (being the horror movie fan that I am) comes with the territory especially with these no budget movies. Watch at your own risk.
What I liked: Large body count, the building looked creepy and you get the feel these people actually broke into an abandoned building. Bonus points for making several of the characters gay/lesbian and not making a big deal about it.
5 out of 10
Return to Witch Graveyard (2014)
Better than Witch Graveyard
I didn't love or hate Witch Graveyard (see my review), after finding out there was a sequel I had to check it out and was pleasantly surprised.
What I liked: There is a reason for the characters to keep going to the graveyard and they weren't totally stupid, there is some blood, some nudity and this time the witches do appear every now and then.
The uneven acting still present as the same actors from Witch Graveyard are back playing different characters, but this time we get to spend some time with them before they are dispatched in the woods. The woods you say? I thought this was about a graveyard? There is a graveyard but most of the victims die in the woods.
What kept me from giving it a higher rating: Some of the acting was cringe-worthy, at times you could tell the witches hands were made of cheap rubber and it has one of those annoying open-ended endings.
7 out of 10
Witch Graveyard (2013)
Not the best, but not the worst either.
Lacks logic, gore, good acting, coherent storyline, but has some good moments.
What bugged me the most: We know NOTHING about the characters, we never see any witches (we only hear them), there were no FX other than some red stuff on the actors' faces and most scenes with the fat guy aimlessly walking all over the place were boring and obviously just filler.
What I liked: Some nicely set up scenes, the voice coming from the pipe I never seen before, the blonde in the bikini was hot and the ending worked well.
Not the worst cheap flick I've seen and I guess it did okay as a sequel just came out. Not a total waste of time if like me you like these no-budget movies.
Strippers vs Werewolves (2012)
Really wanted to like it more
I thought it started pretty good and the cast was game and it was nice seeing Sarah Douglas and enjoyed the cameos, but something didn't quite click. I think it lost me with many subplots like the stripper living with the werewolf and the other other stripper breaking up with her vampire hunting boyfriend (he was very annoying and unfunny).
Nothing really happened for the longest time and then they go and kill the only likable male character. I can forgive bad acting and low production values what I cannot forgive is a boring storyline and annoying characters.
It could've benefited from a longer final battle and more deaths, most of the time its nothing but talk talk talk.
Revenge of the Unhappy Campers (2002)
I liked it
First let me say the video cover does NOT do justice to this thriller. So, if you come across this one and are a fan of slashers, pick it up and rent it.
OK, I'm a big fan of B-movies. This is cheesy and funny and I loved it. The special effects are pretty cool. Plenty of random gratuitous breast, penis and butt shots. The last twenty minutes or so featured what I think is one of the best chase scenes between the heroine ( forgot her name) and the killers. Not rated, but if it was rated R, it would be for graphic violence, grisly images, strong language, one very strong sex scene, nudity and adult themes.
Ladrones de tumbas (1989)
More Screams and Blood than any Friday the 13th flick
First let me say the video cover does NOT do justice to this horror flick, plus it is advertised as action! So if you come across this one and are a fan of slashers, pick it up and rent it.
Some years ago an evil monk tried to sacrifice a village woman, but the other monks stop him before he can finish. Fast-forward to current times, a bunch of young grave robbers make their way to the evil monk's crypt, they steal some jewels and take an ax off his body resurrecting him. Meanwhile in town, the sheriff's daughter is leaving for the woods for a weekend with her girlfriends.
Forty minutes into the movie, all hell breaks loose as the evil monk chops his way through most of the cast. No one is safe as body parts are chopped off. The last 30 minutes are pure non-stop mayhem.
There is no nudity, just Edna Bolkan in her underwear. But plenty of screams and blood.