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Reviews
The Vikings (1958)
"Norse opera"
I didn't coin that phrase. Bodley Crowther of the New York Times did when this film first came out.
Aside from the historical inaccuracies, the plot full of holes, the over-the-top acting, and the incongruous score, it's still a lot of fun to watch if you treat it like a Saturday matinee.
I give it seven stars because I loved it so much as a kid. It remains on my list of "guilty pleasures."
I still have to ask myself: "How did a Viking thrall learn to use a sword?" :)
The Dead Zone: Unreasonable Doubt (2002)
12 Angry Men Redux
Enjoyable outing even though not based on the original Stephen King novel. This is strictly a side trip invented by the series writers, but worth watching nonetheless, even though it is a little predictable. Wouldn't it be wonderful if we could be certain of every verdict in every case?
The question here is whether our defendant is guilty or innocent. In spite of the seal hanging in the courtroom hall, justice isn't blind, and everyone in the jury room has a past they cannot leave outside. John Smith is still exploring the scope of his gift/curse, but the other jurors also have to examine their preconceptions and prejudices. A few stretches for the plot, but otherwise a solid entry in an intriguing series.
Left Behind (2014)
How Not to Make a Movie
Unfortunately, it is not possible to rate this movie 0, which it deserves.
This is to be watched only by those who appreciate truly bad movie- making. This is in the class of Plan 9 from Outer Space and Attack of the Killer Tomatoes. If you enjoy seeing bad films, be sure to watch. Otherwise, don't waste your time.
Nicolas Cage does his best, and the supporting cast is strong, with performers like Lea Thompson and Cassie Thompson, who are very appealing. The actors do the best they can with moronic dialogue and unsubtle and vile stereotypes: for example, the well-meaning Muslim and the defensive "little person."
Truly unlikeable is the arrogant and Christianly correct lady at the airport, who, even if you agree with her, is offensive and off-putting.
What is this movie supposed to be telling us?
For true believers and connoisseurs of the truly awful only.
The Island of Dr. Moreau (1996)
Pointless Mess
Balk smolders. So what? Brando emotes. Interesting. Kilmer embarrasses himself. Perlman growls. Thewlis tries. Worth watching just to see how bad a movie with a great cast and a great director can be. Gratuitous violence, but tame by today's standards. Doesn't help.
The 1977 version had Barbara Carrera, so we forgive that.
The original (Island of Lost Souls), even in black and white, with a low budget, is far better. This cast makes the ailing, hammy Bela Lugosi look like Oscar material.
Brando, for all his talent, doesn't touch Laughton.
Frankenheimer makes a couple of points. Men and animals aren't that far apart. The law is determined by the point of a gun.
And artistic pretension doesn't make a bad movie better.
Of course, that's just my opinion. I could be wrong.