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romeo_family
Reviews
La casa con la scala nel buio (1983)
Dude
So basically like this dude, I think he needs to like work on his mixtape or something. So he rents this bitchin pad and he's like droppin' dope cut after dope cut. But apparently he sucks as a producer cause he like can't figure out how to mix and he's probably got the dumbs And then this fine betty pops out like "I love humpin'!", but bro is gay so he's all like "get out". Then at the end there's this disgruntled transvestite. I don't know what they were so upset about, maybe like bathrooms or something, but then it turns out it was this dude THE WHOLE TIME and you're like "no way" and then it's over. I would definitely recommend this movie for like everyone.
Havoc (2005)
It's Not American Me
This is a movie about some vapid white broads. That chick from some Disney flick was in it. Some people think she's hot; meh, if you like potato chips. Her boyfriend buys some sticks and stems from some lil bite sized vato with a NKOTB ponytail. Next thing you know, Disney chick is trying to earn her merit badge for humping an authentic brown person. One of her lame friends insists she wants to take on three brown wieners at the same time, therefore making her the most coolest girl in their white suburbanite high school. But as it turns out, she tapped out after two. So she runs out of the room crying because her sphincter is irritated. Next thing you know, three poor hombres are getting charged with rape. Moral of this movie? Never trust a succubus white she devil...Oh and that one dude from Training Day was in it. I liked him though. He was cool. That is all.
Street Dreams (2009)
Bag of Flatulence
The other two reviews MUST be from the shills. This flick is about as whack as a swift kick to the sack. Just terrible from the floor up; the basic bs you'd expect from a clown like Dyrdek and co.. Typical skate flick plot about some goober who dreams about going pro, but life throws some wrenches. Will he make it? Who cares. Dyrdek (who we are expected to pretend is a teenager lol) gives us a budget rendition of Tupac's iconic character Bishop. And as expected, we get a close-up of PRod's fake teeth ever 5 seconds. I suspect he's collecting checks from Listerine. Soundtrack is trash. Dialogue might be a'ight if your inebriated enough. Some slimy little kid spits the line "I know all about alone time...". There's some ugly buffy who looks like her face got thrashed with a frying pan. The skating is your standardized low impact flip-in-flip-out ledge boringness. It's a real yawn a minute, lemme tell ya. I mean come to think of it, it was so boring I'm getting bored just from talking trash on it. Don't waist your time. If you skate, just go out and skate. Or for god's sake, man, just watch an Antihero video or something less vapid.