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Reviews
The Aristocrats (2005)
One Joke, told over and over and over again, and then a couple times more.
Have you ever watched your favorite comedy film five times in one night? You know how after the third, maybe fourth time the jokes become stale and by the fifth time you don't show any teeth whatsoever. Imagine that happening with this movie...except you don't crack a smile past the fifteen minute mark.
Basically, it's one hundred different comedians telling the same joke, something that sounds like a good idea... if it were five different comedians telling the joke. As one could imagine, it gets repetitive fast, and if you make it past the thirty minute mark then you either have a high tolerance for pain or you might be the most easily entertained person to ever live.
The only comedian to even make a remotely funny version of the joke in this whole movie was Bob Saget, but the downfall is he comes into the film at around the fifty minute mark, meaning there will be pain brought to your skull as you sit by and watch comedian after comedian pound out this joke. Maybe I love Bob too much when I say he was the only good thing about this movie, or maybe I can be honest with myself; who knows, all I know is that this movie got old fast.
I may get a lot of flack for disliking this movie. People may say that I'm too much of a wuss and the subject of the film is too risqué for me...not true. Gross out humor is one of the best forms of humor you could ever find...if done properly; something it was not done here. Everyone here goes for the easy laugh, and it isn't working.
Honestly, worst documentary I've ever seen in my life.
Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest (2006)
A half assed attempt at a sequel to cash in on a truly great original
I wanted to love this film. I did. The three previous movies of Gore Verbinski's (The Ring, Pirates 1 and The Weatherman) I cherished. They showed a rising director who had talent. This film is nothing like those movies or for that matter, even "Curse of the Black Pearl."
While watching the film, I got the sense that I was in a test screening to see what works and what isn't. Then the realisation that I wasn't in a test screening, I was in an opening weekend viewing sunk in. It was a realisation i wish I would not have had, because I was desperately wanting to fill out the card and voice my opinion.
My main problem with this film is that they didn't try hard at all. The only thing it felt like they tried at was to re-establish how good the first movie actually was. I'm guessing that like me, most people loved the comic lines from the first film. Unlike the first film though, they don't subtly throw them out anymore. The comic lines in this film aren't thrown out to the audience; they gave us the equivalent of putting us in a batting range and hit all the ball to us at speed's so fast that the laughs aren't even over with before they expect us to laugh again. The laughing may cause to miss key points.
The acting was another disappointment from this film. Don't expect another nomination for Johnny this time. Yes, I am saying that Johnny Depp even was unbearable in this movie. It's not that he was bad in this movie per se, it's just he attempted to completely copy everything that made his performance in the first one so great. Exclude the character development from the first movie and he's still the same antagonist; even this time he's not likable, in fact, one could possibly say he is the most unlikable thing about the whole movie. Even Stellan Skaarsgard was understated in this film and I think he's an amazing actor. Looking back on this film, the only character I did like was Kiera Knightley's who this time around wasn't just reserved for eye candy but actually had things to do.
One of the things I did like was Gore Verbinski's amazing cinematograghy. Except the problem with his cinematography was that he uses amazing shots in the middle of an action that takes you out of the movie and has nothing to do with what's going on. Peter Jackson esquire, except PJ makes his cameras useful for the scene and not a way to say "Wow".
On a closing note, this was one of Hans Zimmer's best scores he's done
*****/**********