andrew-53537 Reviews

White Noise (I) (2022)

Take them out back and shoot them.

[1/10 · 27 February 2023]

White Noise was one of the dumbest pieces of poop movies I have ever seen in my entire life. It is the quintessential exemplification of pointless mediocrity, beyond anything else ever constructed. The director and script writer have had to have had their minds totally warped by countless drugs before creating this. I am baffled that this degree of horribleness is even possible. Future generations will look upon this movie in sheer horror and witness the epitome of our society's psychotic, mental decimation. Whoever was the "mastermind" behind this garbage trash should be taken out back and shot, repeatedly, until there is absolute certainty that they are dead and their rotten influence on the realm of mankind is ensured to never be had again.

That all being said, no, I do not recommend anyone else ever watch this movie, for any possibly conceivable reason, ever.

P. S. Did the movie get such a terrifyingly terrible public reaction and horrifically horrible low view count that they derailed the East Palestine, Ohio train just to draw attention to it and further erode all that is good in the world?

Deep (I) (2021)

I only made it halfway through.

[2/10 · 27 June 2022]

This movie is like a combination of the two feelings:

• when you've been awake for wayyy too long, and you start to think crazy thoughts
• when you've had wayyy too much sugar, and then you consume a whole bunch more sugar

So if that was their goal, well, they achieved it. The problem is, it's just not entertaining to watch, at all. I'd rather just have way too much sugar.

Bloody Sunday (2002)

Not believable.

[3/10 · 25 June 2022]

I stopped watching maybe 2/3 of the way through, because it got to the point where they showed soldiers randomly shooting at unarmed civilians for like a straight half hour. This is totally unbelievable, how they depicted it in the movie.

At first, they showed teenagers throwing rocks and a few guys shooting handguns, and the soldiers were firing back at them. Okay, fine, that part makes sense.

But then, it turns into being like that scene in Monty Python and the Holy Grail where the soldier just gets out of control and starts randomly swinging his sword around at people at a wedding party, when there's not even any threat - which was fine and funny, because that was a slapstick movie... But this? Like... What?????

You see soldiers standing near walls/cover, looking down the street at people very far away (probably even beyond handgun range) - some of the soldiers saying something like, "We can't even find any targets!" - and just randomly shooting their guns towards the protestors without having anyone specific to aim at, let alone any threats (i.e. People holding rifles). They keep doing this for a straight minute, in the movie.

You see a guy waving a white flag (presumably a medic) as he walks to go help someone who got shot; he's fine for a minute, and then they randomly shoot him in the middle of the street, as he continues waving his white flag in plain sight.

Then it shows a crowd of people running scared and screaming, all running in the same direction, away from the soldiers, and the soldiers run up and see them and just start shooting random people down.

I wanted to watch this because I was looking for a realistic depiction of how something like this unfolds - and I gave it a few stars for seeming fairly realistic in the first (albeit boring) part - but this one problem, once the fight breaks out, of the soldiers just killing everyone they see just because, I can't believe. Unless the entire military presence there was full of complete psychopaths/sociopaths, this movie is obviously depicting the nature of the situation wrong, you don't have to have been there to know this. Other than the insane - i.e. People like mass shooters - nobody intentionally and persistently shoots at random civilians that clearly aren't threats to them in any way like this, even if they're not fond of them in general, and especially not trained soldiers under a command.

So, I have to give this a bad rating, for being unbelievable/unrealistic, the exact opposite of what I was hoping to watch.

Resident Evil: Welcome to Raccoon City (2021)

Couldn't even finish...

[2/10 · 23 May 2022]

I loved the former Resident Evil movies, especially the first few. This was something entirely different...

The best way I would describe it - especially the story, the script, and the details - is if you were to have a bunch of dumb high schoolers watch Resident Evil 1 + 2 in the background while they screwed around, not paying any attention to the movies really; and then, if you were to have them write their own RE2 copycat movie and give them an adult cast (who act fairly poorly overall), this is just about what you would end up with...

Seriously, it's pretty cringe to listen to the actors talk, it really feels like high schoolers planned out everything in this movie. There's no real sense of direction, or purpose... A lot of things just don't make any sense, it's virtually impossible for someone intelligent to follow along with the storyline, how things developed in the story, why anyone (smart or stupid) would be doing the things the characters are doing, etc...

Really just a bad movie all around. I kept waiting for it to get interesting, but it never did. Finally I resorted to playing a video game while watching the rest of THIS in the background, and then I even decided after a little while to just stop watching it entirely, it was so boring and dull.

Eye in the Sky (2015)

Excellent movie all around!

[10/10 · 3 May 2022]

I rarely give very high ratings, so take this 10 as solid approval. This is a very well-made movie.

It's dramatic (fitting the occasion), compelling, exciting, interesting, intriguing, well-paced, informative, insightful, well scripted, well acted, evocative, relevant, just, intuitive, comprehensive, and so on. All of these. I found it very enjoyable to watch, and I followed along and fully understood the situation presented and all of its challenges. It's difficult to imagine any ways it could be improved.

It is similar in nature to the movie Good Kill, which is also a good watch, but not as good as this one, Eye in the Sky. I'd like to see more war related movies like this in the future.

The Day After (1983 TV Movie)

Only 15m was good

[2/10 · 18 March 2022]

There was about 15m or so, somewhere in the range of 45m in to 1h in, that was enjoyable and realistic: buildup to nuclear war, people starting to cautiously panic and prepare, missiles launching, nukes going off, going into bunkers, etc. The entire rest of the movie though...

There's like 200 occurrences within the movie where I kept going, "That was totally unnecessary." Not a plot device, just some random, crazed action or statement, that makes no sense at all.

Moreover, most of the movie is entirely unrealistic, which they even acknowledge at the very end with text... So then why would you make the movie that way..... In reality, you would have wayyy more violence, mass migration, chaos, bunkering away for weeks, etc., not to mention that no one in the movie is even shown having all the effects of radiation sickness; all they really show is some boils and people losing their hair.

Even for its "educational" purposes, the movie fails to hold up. People are walking around outside in the minutes hours and few days after the nukes go off, which is basically a death sentence. Surely even back in 1983 most people would have known better, or at least the radio and other people would have told them better.

Other than the 15m, I just can't recommend this movie, and in fact I would unrecommend it. Watch something else.

My Way (2011)

It would be a lot better if they didn't needlessly kill a bunch of people

[4/10 · 12 November 2021]

The story is almost compelling, except for the major portions of the film where the protagonists needlessly give in to their oppressors and fight their oppressor's enemies, instead of just fighting the oppressors, resisting, or running away... That's like half of the movie.

It has lots of really cool scenes showing them as POW's etc. And soldiers etc. Surviving and fighting major WWII battles across the world. The battle scenes are kinda cool to watch. I just can't follow along with the story when the whole reason they undergo all of this is because they fight for their enemies...

The Nightingale (I) (2018)

This has to be the worst movie I have ever seen.

[1/10 · 6 November 2021]

The Nightingale starts horrible and just gets worse and worse and worse.

Evil British soldiers rape several women and kill several men and children, and the protagonist goes after him in the woods, on a vengeful warpath, with a black man as her guide, for numerous days. When they finally reach the really bad man, she stands up and takes aim, and decides NOT to shoot, for no explicable reason whatsoever. He sees her, she runs, they all eventually meet up in a town and she decides to just walk up to him in a pub, say things to him, sing a song, and walk out...

Finally, after more than 2 hours of this torture, the black man puts on his war paint and kills the bad men; that was probably the only 30 seconds in this entire fire-bound movie that were somewhat enjoyable.

Also the movie is just completely brutal and torturous to watch throughout, let alone this horrible stringing along. People constantly yelling at each other, crying, in great distress and despair, the British guys raping and killing people with absolute ease, and so on.

1 star is too high.

The Guilty (2021)

Obnoxious

[3/10 · 31 October 2021]

The protagonist did very well in the movie Nightcrawler, but he was a terrible choice for this movie. He doesn't fit the bill. His personality and expressions are all wrong.

Also, the way they have people acting and the way the lines are scripted are extremely obnoxious. Every single emotion and vocal intonation is explosive, vastly over-dramatized.

I did like the idea behind this movie, and the overall story; just, next time, choose better actors and writers.

Worth (2020)

Eh.

[4/10 · 24 September 2021]

Speaking of the movie itself - not of the incident nor the people involved or affected, of course - it felt hollow, dry, empty, cold, distant, wanting.

I kept hoping that it would become more intriguing or moving, but it kept a pretty stale tone throughout. This wasn't due to the idea behind the movie, but due rather to the execution, script, and acting.

The hecklers did a pretty good job, and the widow acted very well (she should appear in more movies), but the rest of the acting felt kind of fake or detached. I did also appreciate the question of what life is worth at the beginning of the movie, as well as the interesting facts told at the very end.

As for the question itself, what is life worth: I think in reality that question is BS; that is, it's not really what's in question in a situation like this. I like the argumentation made by the protagonist: money is just money, it helps feed a family and put a roof over their head, take care of their various issues, etc. That and the 80% goal are what really should dictate the valuation to be applied here, not "how much a life is worth".

Interesting considerations to make about all this can be found in Eccl. 10:19 and Lev. 27.

The Wave (2008)

Not very realistic.

[2/10 · 25 August 2021]

The movie had an interesting premise, but it's just too unrealistic.

The vast majority of the students were way too enthusiastic about it all, even from the very beginning. And the movie portrays it as though it was just the way the teacher gave orders to the students and had them all dress the same way etc. That caused them to become fascist.

If anything, I feel that this movie has actually failed to portray the reality of fascism and how it develops. That dropped my rating by several stars.

Fascism results out of desperation, for most, and out of greed for power and success, for the rest. Things like charisma and how the speaker shouts and condemns a common enemy are only the cherry on top. It's the united purpose, united cause, and the actual content of the speeches and orders and what higher purpose they appear to be serving that really draws people towards fascism.

These students generally had happy, prosperous lives, and a good future ahead of them. There was no actual cause, no substance whatsoever, for them to unite together behind or against. It was just some teacher telling them what to do, and the group's herd mentality deciding spontaneously on other things to do. This isn't realistic. It doesn't capture the reality of life and sociology.

We Are the Wave (2019– )

If a liberal had a dream...

[2/10 · 24 June 2021]

If a liberal had a dream... this would be it.

No, really. The show is so unbelievably unrealistic, particularly in terms of what people would do vs. What the show has them do.

Every teenager blindly follows the group's agenda with barely a word, except for the ultra Nazis. No crime forensics are ever done. The police never shoot tear gas. Everyone gets off with a warning. Everything the group does has the immediate, widespread, "positive" impact that they were hoping for. Just about every kid's parents are lowkey in on it and supportive of their activities, with no real repercussions.

This show is about a group of teenage idiots who think they know everything, that they know better than everyone else, and that rules don't exist. They meet up, pick something a group member doesn't like about society, and then make a plan to trash some business or defame it. It's the stupidest thing. Kids like this should get beaten, hard, until they learn discipline, honor, and integrity. They should be taught that there are better ways to make a positive impact on society, and that they should learn to understand the world far better than they do before they try to change it.

Literally a liberal dream.

John Wick (2014)

Really didn't care for it.

[3/10 · 10 June 2021]

The storyline, the script, and the acting - for everyone in the movie - were all bad. The fight scenes were okay.

I had a really hard time buying into it and not feeling like I was watching a complete fabrication. A movie isn't supposed to be like that.

This movie's kind of "out there".

Deadpool (2016)

Everything wrong with today

[1/10 · 10 June 2021]

I watched the "clean" version of this, and I still hated it. It's everything wrong with today in terms of culture, humor, storyline, production, etc.

The Death of Stalin (2017)

This movie is currently way overrated.

[3/10 · 5 May 2021]

This movie's current rating of 7.2 is way too high.

It's a tryhard comedy. It tries really hard to be funny and fails in every way.

I was trying to remember what the script reminded me of, and I figured it out: It's exactly like the Bad Lip Reading series on Youtube. It's a bunch of random psychobabbling throughout the entire movie; more than half of the stuff they say doesn't even make sense or have any contributing purpose.

Instead of giving off a nice, dramatic irony effect, it comes off more as a "cheeky" old people squabbling film. It's hard to explain any better than that.

I do not wish to see any more movies anything like this one.

Nightcrawler (2014)

Disturbing perspective, yet an excellent watch.

[8/10 · 26 April 2021]

The top review right now says that this movie gives one a good laugh. I thoroughly disagree. I think to laugh at this like one would laugh at a comedy, one would have to be somewhat disturbed/sociopathic just like the main character.

I myself laughed several times during the movie, but only in a disgusted/shocked manner. That's the kind of movie this is.

Nevertheless, the movie is excellent, and well worth your watch, because it portrays a very common problem in our societies today, in that we view and capture news in a sort of thrill/fear-seeking light, as though we're expecting to ride a rollercoaster or watch a scary movie. This is not what news is supposed to be about. There are legitimate reasons to pay attention to disturbing or violent news, especially in one's local vicinity, but one can tell just by looking at the news stories available and popular today that it goes far beyond that, in a sort of glorifying and sensationalizing manner.

If you have a conscience, you won't be perfectly comfortable while watching this movie; some may even want to shut it off, understandably. However, I believe that sometimes it is good to pay attention to evil under the spotlight (though obviously, in this case, fictionally so), in order for one to learn from it.

The movie also has merit in having a good script, good acting, good POV, etc. Mainly the only reason I don't give it a higher rating is just the nature of it not being entirely something that makes you happy, even if you don't regret watching it, if that makes sense.

Midnight Special (2016)

Oooooh Aaaaah... What's the Point?

[3/10 · 30 March 2021]

Let me save you from watching this movie.

There's a boy that for some reason was born into our world yet belongs in a world "on top of" ours. His eyes light up and he can intercept secret government radio transmissions and hack into cars and stuff. Can make meteors fall from the sky and crash a satellite.

He also can focus his eye lights on people and make them feel "comfort". So a bunch of people on a ranch that looks like some church from, idk, the 70's?, form a cult around him or something. They have sermons at midnight because sunlight makes the boy go crazy.

By now you're getting the picture... The movie is mostly about his family and a few family friends helping him get to some special coordinates. They travel in cars and hide in hotel rooms, for whatever reason taping cardboard to the windows etc. Also, the government wants to question the boy etc., and the evil sith from the newer Star Wars movies that absolutely suck is one of them, from the NSA. The boy elicits his help to escape their custody and continue on his journey.

Finally they make it there, and the boy lights up again and everyone in the vicinity sees this magical world which is really just a bunch of very tall, spiral-y and bendy structures, and some wisp-like humanoids walking around. Whoopdy doo. The boy finally made it. The end.

What's the heckin point of this movie? It's just a random story full of random details and lots of emotional trauma for his family and the cult and stuff. It's as if someone heard a couple stories about Bible prophets or something, and then had a wild nonsensical dream and wrote it into a movie script.

There I saved you 2 hours. You're welcome.

Steve Jobs (2015)

It honestly sucks.

[3/10 · 10 February 2021]

Bunch of rambling angry people being overly-blunt - and by that I mean overly-blunt - towards each other. Everyone's mad at each other the whole movie and they walk around with Steve Jobs as they yell at each other. Then they stand around in the same room and yell at each other.

The worst part is there's not really any point to any of it at all. This movie sucks.

Searching for Bobby Fischer (1993)

Really Boring Look into the Mind of a Really Boring Child

[3/10 · 11 January 2021]

Almost the entire movie showcases the kid not wanting to play chess, and not wanting to win. Everyone in the movie is super emotional and soft and it really bothers me. Also hardly any of it was about chess strategy, and even while he was playing it wasn't very exciting. What kind of a chess movie is that?

This movie is so very 90's.

The Haunting of Bly Manor (2020)

Started out GREAT; turned absolutely DREADFUL.

[1/10 · 20 October 2020]

I genuinely told my family members after grudging through the last few episodes of this show NOT to watch it. I told them it started out really good and then basically turned into this weird lesbian love story + random irrational haunted dead jealous greedy witch combo. It just doesn't make ANY sense at all, so much so that it ruins the entire rest of the story which at first seemed very promising.

The show started out really great, with lots of character and culture, lots of promise for an interesting haunted story, one of those shows/movies where you try to figure out the system, the plot twist, the way for the protagonist to escape from the horror or the nihilistic painful truth they come to discover (e.g. they're already dead, or something like that). NO!

As another reviewer so excellently put it, just about everything in this story turns out to be completely irrelevant! It's like they had this really great idea for a horror story in mind, and then they decided, "No wait, we could demonstrate what a truly loving and mutually satisfying lesbian relationship could look like instead!" and then went with that. Like WHAT?!

The only way I could possibly recommend you watch this is if you commit to only watching the first 3 or 4 episodes and then STOP IMMEDIATELY(!) and just imagine whatever you want the rest of the story to be. You'll be much happier. It just gets worse and worse and worse. I downvote the negative reviews that still give it 4-6 stars. No, it deserves much worse.

Tag (2015)

This movie is like a fart.

[2/10 · 25 November 2018]

You hold your breath and keep hoping things will get better, but they don't. It doesn't go away... until finally, it's over...

Totally non-sensical the whole way through. It's hard to imagine a plot that makes any less sense - really. Kudos to them for that, I suppose...

The Informant! (2009)

I just found this sooooooo boringgg

[3/10 · 27 August 2018]

It's also not funny. I didn't find anything funny at all, it's not even dry or slapstick it's just like awkward or random "humor".