ciribiribin Reviews

Journey to the End of the Night (2006)

Silly Plot, Bone-Head Characters, No Point At All

[1/10 · 7 June 2007]

Journey to the End of the Night is garbage.

I picked out this stinker in a hurry. The synopsis on the DVD cover seemed interesting at first glance. Scott Glenn was in it. But most of all it was set in Sao Paulo, Brazil. Exotic locations fascinate me. Big mistake!

The plot revolves around the owner of a brothel (Glenn) and his degenerate son (Brendan Fraser). The clueless pair stumble across a suitcase full of heroin, plot to sell it and divide the loot. We soon find out the coke-head son plans to double-cross his father. The tale is complicated by the sudden, unexpected death of their co-conspirator, a cocaine-launderer whom the father replaces with a dishwasher he hastily recruits from his brothel's kitchen. The story goes downhill from there.

The plot is shot full of holes. As a consequence, I was tempted to pull the DVD and watch cable news. Instead I stuck it out. Another big mistake.

Virtually every character in the movie is brain-dead and morally twisted. Fraser and his cronies are about as stupid and believable as the Keystone Cops or the Three Stooges. There is no character development, possibly because characters drop in and out of the story for no apparent reason (destiny?). Consequently, the action is contrived. Predictably, a bunch of characters are destined to be bullet-ridden, but by the end of the film, who really cares?

To make matters worse, the script is a poorly written piece of junk. Characters repeat themselves time and time again, either because the writer thinks we're as dumb as his characters or he wanted the film to last more than five minutes. As a result, the actors either sleepwalk (Glenn) through their role or play it so over the top (Fraser) as to be farcical. All the other actors similarly struggle with the poor script and weak plot.

What is the point of this pretentious tripe? It's hidden, no doubt, somewhere in the taglines ("You can escape anything but your destiny," and "Where life is cheap... and hope is priceless."). If you can make something out of that nonsense, you're wiser than I. This movie is pure fluff.

Oh, and since all the action takes place at night, Sao Paulo, Brazil is nothing but a dark, yellow-orange blur. They could have filmed this crap under sodium vapor lights in the streets of East LA and you couldn't tell the difference.

I rate it one star because this dreary journey is thankfully short and finally does end.

One Night with the King (2006)

Biblical Epic Done With Care But Drags A Bit

[5/10 · 4 June 2007]

One Night With The King is an epic retelling of the Biblical story of Esther and King Xerxes. If the previous sentence means nothing to you, watching this movie is a definite crap shoot.

This story has been told many times before on film. They tell me this version is truest to the Biblical tale. I found it a little hard to follow compared to some older versions. Still, it's a great story, full of drama, suspense and historical significance.

As a movie, the production quality is surprisingly good. The cinematography is grand, as it should be. The computer-generated images are fantastic (at least to my uneducated eye) and are not intrusive. The acting is competent, if a bit stilted. The script was one of those "this is how they would have sounded if they had spoken English back then in Persia" type of things. A little much, but it is a period piece after all.

Look, this is an old-timey, Charlton Heston-type epic. It will be slow or unwatchable for those expecting something else and not as slow for those who know better.

Five stars because it was a big, grand Biblical story told with all due pomp and circumstance, but it was told a bit too literally for my "let's get on with it" taste.

Facing the Giants (2006)

I'd Watch It A Third Time

[9/10 · 4 June 2007]

Facing the Giants is a movie I enjoyed very much. In fact, I watched it alone one night (because it was a "football movie) and watched it again with my wife the following night (after persuading her it wasn't "that kind" of a football movie. My wife enjoyed it very much. I enjoyed it very, very much the second time around.

Facing the Giants is basically a football "Hoosiers" with a few different plot twists (the main characters are in their fourth year of trying to have a child) and a Christian theme. The film is not as big budget as Hoosiers. The production quality is similar to a made-for-TV movie. Some of the actors are first-timers. However, all this doesn't matter because with Facing the Giants the story and the Christian angle on it are everything.

Some might criticize the movie as hokey, or sappy, or unrealistic, or preachy and they would be right. It's all of these things. Those viewers sensitive to these types of criticisms probably won't enjoy it.

On the other hand, I tend to be a sentimental old fool, so I found Facing the Giants humanly uplifting, spiritually inspiring and, well, tear jerking. Yes, I confess I shed a few at the end.

So sue me!

The script was well-written, again from a Christian prospective. There was drama, humor and, despite the predictable plot, some very real suspense. The acting was surprisingly good. And the special features on the DVD shouldn't be missed.

I rate it nine stars because in my world hokey is still in style.

Thank You for Smoking (2005)

Had Its Moments

[5/10 · 2 June 2007]

Thank You For Smoking is a satirical and cynical look at the tobacco industry. Not only does the movie skewer Big Tobacco, it also impales Big Alcohol, Big Guns, Big Oil, Big Food, Big Media, Big Movies and Big Politics.

The main character is a Big Tobacco industry lobbyist who shamelessly prostitutes himself in order to "pay the mortgage." Truth, to Nick Naylor (and to almost all the other buffoons in the movie) is nonexistent, or, at least, relative. Integrity, honesty or any other admirable virtue you can think of? Forget it. Even Nick's adolescent kid is corrupt.

I had a hard time taking the moving seriously, even as a satire. I chuckled a few times, pondered once or twice and patiently ate through my entire bowl of popcorn.

The movie was drab. 92 minutes of over-the-top, clichéd, not-too-funny satire makes one restless, even, I imagine, if you're an anti-smoking, anti-business, anti-American, anti-Big Everything zealot.

Plot? Character? Acting? Script? Does it matter?

I'll score it a Five. Why? Because I'm anti-Big Drab.

Blood Diamond (2006)

A Gem

[9/10 · 1 June 2007]

Blood Diamond is an excellent movie. See it.

Blood Diamond is reminiscent of old Hollywood. Yes, Virginia old-fashioned heroes (and villains) do exist. Good (and bad) can be painted in vivid, living color. Just desserts can be served after the main course.

The story is original and captivating. The plot is tight. Characters are fleshed out. Dialogue is fresh and believable. The action flows seamlessly from the characters' motivation. The theme of the movie is noble and honest. The acting is superb all-around. The movie is beautifully filmed. The ending is true to the theme. Even the musical score is outstanding.

My only quibble, which accounts for my less-than-perfect rating, is the movie's length. Tighter editing could have helped the movie move along at a faster pace. The G-8 political business at the beginning and end of the film is unnecessary and preachy. The movie's theme is well-enough developed that it doesn't need to be spoon fed. Some of the chase/combat scenes seem interminable and could have been cut short.

However, I especially appreciated the moments of sincere dialogue between Leonardo DiCaprio and Jennifer Connelly. The film treats their relationship with perfect subtlety and understatement, which only serves to make their connection somehow more intense.

I think DiCaprio's performance deserves to be singled out. He was flawless and believable in the role, again reminiscent of yesteryear actors who might have been pegged for such a role (Robert Mitchum?, Richard Widmark?). Any criticism that DiCaprio lacks the machismo to carry off such a part is unfounded.

This film, which I didn't expect I would like, goes a long way to restore my faith in present-day Hollywood's ability to make good movies.

The Departed (2006)

A Dalliance in Nihilism

[1/10 · 1 June 2007]

Good movies nowadays are few and far between. "The Departed" is not one of them.

I am not a film aficionado. However, I enjoy a good movie. What's a "good" movie? One that has a point or, at least, an intellectually honest theme, but is, at the same time, entertaining. The plot, characterization and dialogue complement the theme and move the action seamlessly to a dramatic climax. The craft of movie-making (acting, directing, lighting, music, set, etc.) serves the theme and makes a good movie great or mediocre, entertaining or disappointing.

The theme of "The Departed" is pointless nihilism: anything goes. As a result, the movie is bad and unentertaining. There are no admirable characters, only amoral jerks, some of whom happen to labor as laughably angry, incompetent policemen, and others who revel as nauseatingly satisfied, bloodthirsty hoodlums. If there are any despicable characters at all in the world they are the rats who work undercover for either the police or the hoodlums. And, if there is a hero, it is the illegitimate vigilante who is able to do with one bullet what the legitimate authorities cannot do with armies of officers and the latest electronic wizardry.

Is the theme of this movie in any way relevant to the real world, or the world as we wish it to be? Is it true to anything? Why do we watch movies like this? Or, worse, why do we pay to see them? The graphic executions and tawdry sex scenes were worse than gratuitous: they were snide and commercial. I paid to see this movie because I didn't do my homework.

The Guardian (I) (2006)

Ashton Kutcher's breakout role as the hero of his generation

[1/10 · 31 May 2007]

The Guardian is a stinker. Sorry. Maybe I shouldn't have watched it with my wife. After the first half hour, which could have passed for a physical education instructional video, she was after me to turn it off. I did.

Another problem was I watched the DVD the night after I watched Michael Douglas in the Sentinel. Another over-the-hill Hollywood macho man trying to sell us on the idea he's still got what it takes.

Kevin Costner looks and acts like a golf hustler-clubhouse rat. No way do I believe he's a member of the Coast Guard's most elite water rescue team. Of course, his superiors don't believe it either, so they offer him a choice to either retire or teach younger guys how it's supposed to be done. Considering the group of pathetic, new-age recruits he has to work with, good luck Kevin.

From there the story is a rehash of every young-boys-become-men military plot line you've ever seen, from Flyboys to Officer and a Gentleman to Top Gun. Of course, mentioning The Guardian in the same breath with these film classics is a travesty.

Just as the story is predictable and hackneyed, so are the characters. This thing must have been written by a committee of high schoolers. Ashton Kutcher was laughable trying to measure up to Tom Cruise's prototypical wise-guy hero. Hoo Rah!!! Give me a break. How can anyone watch such garbage with a straight face.

One star because Sela Ward was in it, even though her role was about as meaty as a tofu burger.

The Sentinel (2006)

Next for Michael Douglas: Playing the lead in "Batman?"

[5/10 · 31 May 2007]

The Sentinel is a run-of-the-mill, political intrigue-action-type movie. That is to say, this is NOT The American President. It's not even In The Line Of Fire. Nevertheless, the script borrows plot from both those superior films.

So Michael Douglas is married to Catherine Zeta Jones. Does this mean he gets a pass to play a secret agent until he's 95 years old? Watching Douglas freezer door-chop the bad guys and outrun them in a comical faux chase scene stretches credulity and is kind of sad as well. Maybe he's not a good enough actor to pull off a Michael Caine and age gracefully in appropriate roles.

Douglas has a secret, torrid affair with Kim Basinger and we're supposed to believe no one in the White House or Secret Service has a clue? And what's the big attraction between them? Supposedly, Keifer Sutherland hates Douglas' guts (he even lectures his agents to coldly pull the trigger even if Douglas is in their sights), but doesn't have the courage to shoot himself? Obviously, if we enjoy these kind of movies we're not supposed to seek answers to these types of sticky questions. Just smile and watch. Character development is all but non-existent. The story depends on a formulaic plot to carry the action forward.

On the bright side, there's a significant part in the movie for Eva Longoria. As one of the cops in the film says: "She can breathe down my neck (anytime)..." Mine too. Face it, ladies, this is a guys' film.

Five stars.

Running with Scissors (2006)

Not My Cup Of Tea

[1/10 · 25 May 2007]

Running With Scissors is banal and pointless.

For 35 minutes I endured Annette Bening's frantic portrayal of a manic and delusional housewife screaming at her milquetoast hubby in front of her bemused son. Then the whole crazy family sees a psychiatrist who is plainly nuttier than all of them put together. While all of this is going on Marilyn McCoo and Elton John break into song for no apparent reason other than the director's apparent whim to hear them on the soundtrack.

If you like this sort of thing, knock yourself out. But my patience has its limits. I switched the DVD off and watched a game of collegiate women's fast pitch softball on ESPN.

In my judgment the film is devoid of both humor and drama. Unless you're in kindergarten there's nothing funny about a "masterbatorium" or a game of electro-shock spin-the-bottle. And drama? Well, there is sort of a dramatic pause as we hold our breath hoping Norman managed to kill himself ramming his head into the kitchen sink.

After 35 minutes without generating even a smile, the story was going nowhere and the actors were merely going through the motions. The characters had become pathetic, unsympathetic absurdities. And if the director can't make you smile or care in the first 35 minutes what makes you think he'll succeed in doing so after another hour or so? If I had to do it all over again, I wouldn't. I score the film one star only because I can't give it zero.

Around the Bend (2004)

It Kicks The Bucket

[4/10 · 24 May 2007]

Around The Bend is a cutesy little story about four generations of Lair males coming to grips with their dysfunctional relationship and lives. I can't say much else about the plot without giving it away. Suffice it to say its one of those movies where the male family hierarchy experiences a spiritual awakening by taking a communal pee in the desert. In other words, this movie is the male equivalent of a chick flick.

My wife picked out the DVD based on the actors in it, as is her custom. I'm more of a story-man and I must say my record for picking good movies is better than hers. But enough bragging. Ironically, in this case, it turned out the actors saved this thing from being a total bust. The ubiquitous Caine is over the top but that's his charm. The feminine heart-throb Lucas does the best he can with a schizoid character. The dancing-machine Walken is superb. And the precocious Bobo (I think he's the little boy) was believable as the generic kid who's wiser than his years.

Yawn. Haven't I seen this story before on Lifetime TV? I'm sorry, but the whole thing struck me as a kind of a psychological scavenger hunt. Imagine Oprah and Dr. Phil got a hold of the script of It's A Mad Mad Mad Mad World and reworked it.

There you have it. Four stars because I watched the entire movie start to finish.

The Last King of Scotland (2006)

Bonehead Scot Earns A Trip To The Wood Shed

[8/10 · 24 May 2007]

The Last King of Scotland is one of the best DVD's I've seen recently. The movie is about a naïve, young, medical school graduate who journeys to Uganda at the time of General Idi Amin Dada's rise to power. The young lad is on a selfish, Peace Corps-like adventure but soon becomes acquainted and associated with Amin as a sort of top adviser. The story follows the young man's slow descent into the horror of Amin's reign.

The movie was quite good. I'd watch it again. Shot on location, the film is rich in local color. The story is gripping. Almost from the beginning you're at the edge of your seat waiting for Amin's shoe to drop on the clueless, young child of the 70's, Dr. Nick who, by the way, had to be the dumbest, most politically ignorant kid in his class. He sure didn't attend the same prep school as The History Boys. Although he did select Uganda as his destination by dropping his finger on a spinning globe, you would expect he'd do a bit of research before leaving home.

The acting is first class. The sex is gratuitous. So is the violence. (What else is new?) Judging from the deleted scenes, character depth was left on the cutting room floor. Still, Amin is known and portrayed as such a fearful, ruthless and psychotic figure, little else is needed to move the story along briskly.

The movie makes the point that political heroes/saviors often turn out to be the worst kind of scoundrels. I would have enjoyed that story much more if the plot had turned around the international political and economic intrigue that enabled Amin's dictatorship rather than Dr. Nick's insatiable, sexual appetite.

I'll score the movie eight stars only because the good, Scottish doctor is too much of a spineless bonehead to take seriously or even sympathetically.

Enjoy.

The History Boys (2006)

Enjoyable, but quirky

[6/10 · 19 May 2007]

Although its plot is a bit formulaic and predictable, The History Boys is an enjoyable movie. The story is driven by the strong and well-developed characterizations of the main players. The smart dialogue and humor keeps the story moving apace.

On the other hand, you'll scratch your head wondering about the theme of the movie. I didn't quite understand the point of the bizarre, sexual behavior of the student ringleader at the end, but I guess boys will be boys. And he does, eventually, redeem himself.

The movie could have done without the epilogue. For this and it's near-preachy, gay, English, cynical tone, I score it six stars.

Children of Men (2006)

No Story. Lots of Frustration.

[1/10 · 12 May 2007]

Children of Men is action without a story.

The world is in a shambles. Britain is the lone surviving society. Immigrant refugees are despised and exterminated Nazi-like by British nationals. Human babies are no longer able to be born. An immigrant becomes pregnant. A British national decides to help her for money.

This kaleidoscope of action/events should peak our interest and keep us watching. We should care about what's happening on screen. Especially, when the pregnant immigrant and her baby are being pursued and shot at by virtually every other character in the movie.

But unless some of this action is sorted out and explained by plot or characterization rather than vague, background political posters, newspaper headlines and newscaster innuendo, we soon lose interest…or become extremely frustrated.

But the film rolls on and on explaining nothing!

The one-star rating is evidence of my extreme frustration.

Breaking and Entering (2006)

British Yuppie Angst/New Age Justice

[3/10 · 12 May 2007]

Breaking and Entering is a tedious, tedious, tedious film. Every character (except the psychiatrist and the attorney for the defense) is tormented by some sort of past psychological trauma which causes them to sulk, cheat, lie, leap from buildings in a single bound, scream, steal, tumble, and whore their way through the story. If you like this sort of thing, maybe you won't be as bored as I was. I suffered through the thing on DVD.

The plot is contrived. The dialogue is mostly unintelligible (the angst-ridden actors mumble in thick British accents). Of course, if you're British and seriously hampered by psychological problems of your own, you might possibly understand and believe this rubbish.

I suspect the film was trying to make some vital, social commentary about urban renewal, modern social justice and single-parenting. If so, it went right over my head. Perhaps, I was distracted by plot twists and character transformations that the story could not justify and the real world would not sustain.

Three stars was my wife's idea. (She liked the acting.)

The Queen (2006)

Royal Flush

[4/10 · 5 May 2007]

The Queen. You know this one wasn't half bad, considering that I could care less about the Queen of England or the political intrigue surrounding the death of Princess Dianna. It was my wife's choice. We watched the DVD together.

On the other hand, it wasn't half good either. While my wife was in tears, I marveled at the fact that, apparently, Tony Blair does his own dishes.

Plot and characterization in this one are more for historical interest than cinematic enjoyment. (I suppose the Queen and Tony Blair's wife must have husbands.) If you're into celebrity, royalty or English pomp and circumstance, you'll enjoy this movie. If you're a husband, you're best advised to simply keep your mouth shut, grin and bear it.

Deja Vu (2006)

Forgettable

[5/10 · 5 May 2007]

Deja Vu is one of those movies that couldn't have been made even ten years ago. Whether this is good or bad depends on your point of view. This particular film depends entirely on computer graphics and the modern viewer's fascination with video games and pop physics. If you believe the right joystick in the right hands can make virtually anything happen, then you'll love this movie. If you are willing to suspend your disbelief in the miraculous technological gimmickry and just blindly go where the writers' lead, then you may enjoy the fun. Or not.

The story is a convoluted mix of science fiction, criminal justice, terrorism, new age humanism and fluff. I sat through the whole thing and groaned at the end. By this measure, the movie was too long. Even accepting the movie's fantastic premise, something just didn't feel right about the kicker at the end. Maybe I got lost in the myriad explanations of the technical wizardry offered by the head computer geek.

I watched the DVD version. It was a somewhat pleasant and mindless alternative to an evening of reality shows on TV. By this measure, the movie was just long enough. Although sitting the entire evening with my finger on the volume control wasn't all that pleasant. One moment you turn the volume up in order to understand an especially touching bit of muted dialogue. The next moment you punch it down to avoid having your eardrums blasted back to the stone age by an explosive sound effect. I know the modern geniuses do this on purpose, but do they do it to irritate the viewer or to keep him awake?

Oh, well. It's a movie you'll forget the moment the credits roll. I guess I'll give it five stars only because Denzel Washington did his best to make me believe anything's possible.

Notes on a Scandal (2006)

A Decent Movie About Indecency

[7/10 · 4 May 2007]

Notes on a Scandal is a movie well worth seeing. The story is well-plotted. The characters are well-developed. The action flows seamlessly from the characters and plot line and resists the temptation to go over the top. The film has the feel of a stage play.

Yes, the subject matter is risqué (perhaps, controversial) but the sexuality in the film is not gratuitous.

Some might quarrel with the film's lack of a political point-of-view, but preaching would be out of place in this film. This is a dark drama (about as far from a comedy as one can venture) which limits itself to the most powerful of human emotions and how various individuals cope with it. The film studies the human condition as it is, not how it should be.

I enjoyed the film on DVD. It was intelligent, well-written, believable and just long enough. An enjoyable aspect of the movie is its lack of jolting sound level changes and special effects. It is old fashioned story-telling about new-fashioned social/sexual conflicts.

I'm not a movie expert or aficionado. I'm simply a moviegoer. Consequently, I don't over-analyze a good movie experience. That said, the acting was superb. I enjoyed the musical score. I wouldn't say Notes on a Scandal was among the best I've ever seen, but it was good. Worth the money and seven stars (an extra star because I've seen so many clinkers lately).