Let's put aside the fact that it doesn't follow the original message of the story or, you know, the story itself. It can be forgiven for that, as well as asinine elements like Milady surviving and the Musketeers deciding that the best way to forestall a war between France and England was to blow up the Duke of Buckingham's house. The high production value adds it's part to make it at least visually interesting. The continued appearance of familiar faces will make you say "oh, it's so-and-so", which is just about the most fun you'll have all movie.
The fatal flaw of this film is, without a doubt, the script. It is so cliché and modernized that I amused myself by guessing what line would come next and was right an unnerving amount of the time. The jokes all fell flat, the Mission Impossible style of action made me want to cry, and it was clear that the actors were rushing their way through the lines as quickly as possible to collect their money. It made me smile that someone actually got paid to write this script, and then whoever played Constance got paid to look like she was reading off of cue cards every time she was on screen.
Let's talk about the actors, none of whom are French or bothered to try for a French accent. Watching the good guys was like watching paint dry. The Musketeers, who are all good actors, looked bored to tears, and while that might have worked for a time due to the rut their characters are in, it soon became clear that Matthew MacFayden's brain was taking a nap while he let his deep vocal chords say the lines, hoping the baritone would cover the necessary bases. Luke Evans did his hair in a mirror and knew that that would be enough to keep girls watching, so he didn't even bother. Ray Stevenson had the most charisma, and so predictably got the least screen time. Logan Lerman tried, but seemed more like he needed to go back to high school than one of the greatest swordsmen in France. I already discussed whatever Constance was supposed to me. A mannequin, perhaps. It seemed that the King and Queen had the only real character and heart in the entire film, which is unfortunate because she is barely in it and he is a dunce.
Oh also there is a character who is supposed to be comic relief played by James Corden.
Casting Oscar winners and fan favorite as villains almost guaranteed a complete overshadowing of the heroes, though this didn't make them exponentially more interesting. Christoph Waltz is good enough that he would have to try to fail, but he clearly regretted buying whatever it was that necessitated the salary of this movie. Milla Jovovich pretty much just did what she does every movie, which is not always a plus. Mads Mikkelsen gets a shout out for at least trying to do a good job despite awful lines and zero character development, and per the usual Mads, succeeding very well. At least he looked cool and managed to deliver his lines with a straight face and a certain amount of menace. I do feel that he broke character at the time of his ridiculous death, where I could have sworn that he was visibly relieved at finally being able to leave this travesty of a film. Orlando Bloom alone gets full stars as being the only person, including the audience, having any fun, and having a lot of it.
Bottom line is, unless you need a really good laugh, this is all Redbox has to offer or you're a big enough Bloom or Mikkelsen fan that you want to see them as another cool minor character, skip this one.
The fatal flaw of this film is, without a doubt, the script. It is so cliché and modernized that I amused myself by guessing what line would come next and was right an unnerving amount of the time. The jokes all fell flat, the Mission Impossible style of action made me want to cry, and it was clear that the actors were rushing their way through the lines as quickly as possible to collect their money. It made me smile that someone actually got paid to write this script, and then whoever played Constance got paid to look like she was reading off of cue cards every time she was on screen.
Let's talk about the actors, none of whom are French or bothered to try for a French accent. Watching the good guys was like watching paint dry. The Musketeers, who are all good actors, looked bored to tears, and while that might have worked for a time due to the rut their characters are in, it soon became clear that Matthew MacFayden's brain was taking a nap while he let his deep vocal chords say the lines, hoping the baritone would cover the necessary bases. Luke Evans did his hair in a mirror and knew that that would be enough to keep girls watching, so he didn't even bother. Ray Stevenson had the most charisma, and so predictably got the least screen time. Logan Lerman tried, but seemed more like he needed to go back to high school than one of the greatest swordsmen in France. I already discussed whatever Constance was supposed to me. A mannequin, perhaps. It seemed that the King and Queen had the only real character and heart in the entire film, which is unfortunate because she is barely in it and he is a dunce.
Oh also there is a character who is supposed to be comic relief played by James Corden.
Casting Oscar winners and fan favorite as villains almost guaranteed a complete overshadowing of the heroes, though this didn't make them exponentially more interesting. Christoph Waltz is good enough that he would have to try to fail, but he clearly regretted buying whatever it was that necessitated the salary of this movie. Milla Jovovich pretty much just did what she does every movie, which is not always a plus. Mads Mikkelsen gets a shout out for at least trying to do a good job despite awful lines and zero character development, and per the usual Mads, succeeding very well. At least he looked cool and managed to deliver his lines with a straight face and a certain amount of menace. I do feel that he broke character at the time of his ridiculous death, where I could have sworn that he was visibly relieved at finally being able to leave this travesty of a film. Orlando Bloom alone gets full stars as being the only person, including the audience, having any fun, and having a lot of it.
Bottom line is, unless you need a really good laugh, this is all Redbox has to offer or you're a big enough Bloom or Mikkelsen fan that you want to see them as another cool minor character, skip this one.
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