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Reviews
Tin Toy (1988)
Couldn't finish
I love Pixar's shorts! I know this was one of their earlier ones. However, the baby was so unbelievably creepy that I couldn't even bring myself to finish it. I'm so used to their characters being likeable...even if they have a bit of a quirky, odd look to them, like Geri in Geri's Game. Despite Geri's large ears, large nose, bushy eyebrows, prominent chin and exaggerated eyes from his corrective lenses, he has a sweet, endearing quality to his face. But the baby in Tin Toy is so unsettling, he's likely to make a starring role in your next nightmare.
I wish I could review the whole short. I'm sure the content was good...it always is. This is just one you may want to take a hard pass on.
A Christmas Story Christmas (2022)
Confused
I'm seeing all of these great reviews on here and I'm genuinely confused. Did we watch the same movie??
I went in with an open mind. A Christmas Story is one of my favorite holiday movies. It is a staple every year at Christmas. I was excited the day this movie was released. Of course, I knew that Julie Hagerty had replaced Melinda Dillon. Not a big deal. I love Julie Hagerty. I was excited to see all of the actors from the original. Then, the movie started.
I watched and watched and continued watching. It was dull, uninteresting, uninspired, slow-moving and mind-numbing. I don't turn off many movies midway, but this one, I did. I just couldn't stand another minute.
If it had any of the charm of the first movie that people are claiming, they must have saved it all up for the second half that I didn't watch.
This was like getting a pink bunny suit for Christmas. 👎🏼
Our Italian Christmas Memories (2022)
Disappointed
I went middle of the road with my rating because, honestly, I didn't finish watching to the end. I was drawn to the title "Our Italian Christmas Memories" because I come from a family that is Italian on my father's side.
First of all, the casting was disappointing to me. Most of the cast is not Italian and doesn't even look Italian. Most are Canadian. The late matriarch of the family floats in and out of an Italian accent.
Second, they pepper the few obligatory Italian words and phrases throughout the scenes: nonno, nonna, Buon Natale, sugo (which they pronounce incorrectly as "suko" the entire time).
Third, which I realize is essential to their plot, they contend that none of the children or grandchildren in the family wanted to learn how to cook. This is unheard of in Italian homes. Kids are brought into the kitchen very early and they are very excited to be taught how to cook and bake by their mothers, grandmothers, fathers, whoever might be teaching.
Fourth, the feast of the seven fishes on Christmas Eve was barely mentioned. Of course, that was at least up to the point where I quit watching.
What really made my head explode was the CHRISTMAS PICKLE! That is a GERMAN tradition!! Not Italian!! Hallmark has even mentioned that being a German tradition before in their movie "Christmas Getaway."
I'm guessing whoever wrote, cast, directed, produced and acted in this movie has never spent any time around an Italian family at any time let alone Christmas. Very disappointing.
Dýrið (2021)
Completely unexpected
Between the trailer for this movie and the classification of it being a horror film, I didn't know what to expect. After seeing it, I can truly say I'm still just as mystified.
This movie is in a genre all its own. It is like no other. That is not a bad thing; it's just...different.
To start with, the movie's setting is breathtaking. It draws you in immediately. In addition, the silence at the beginning of the film; the fact that the cast is very small; the slow progression of the story; the simplicity of the characters lives. Everything envelopes you, engages you, intrigues you.
You feel like you are being read a book, and this is what you are imagining in your head. And when it's over, you aren't sure what you just experienced. You definitely want to talk to someone else who experienced it too though. I don't know that it will be for everyone.
American Horror Stories: Facelift (2022)
Worse than bad plastic surgery
While I do enjoy most of what the writers and directors of AHS/Stories put out, I have to say that they missed the mark with this one.
The story started out interestingly enough. Judith Light plays Virginia Mallow, an aging woman who is desperate to slow the effects of time anyway she can, including rubbing her own urine on her face. Virginia runs into a former college alumni who, much to her astonishment, has seemed to avoid the hands of Father Time. She asks what her secret is and the college pal refers her to a doctor.
Virginia has an appointment with the doctor and finds that the procedure to make her youthful again will be incredibly expensive and not something that her business manager advises. Because despite living in a Beverly Hills mansion and driving a Bentley, Virginia is in debt. However, a younger appearance is something she's willing to potentially lose her house over.
So, after the procedure, much of the episode has Virginia with bandages engulfing her entire head and her hands (the doc worked on those for free). By this time, Virginia's stepdaughter, Fay, is getting a little suspicious of the amount of bandages and what exactly this procedure was that she had done. At this point, the ever-caring doctor tells Virginia that Fay's attitude isn't good for her recovery and invites Virginia to a retreat center in the mountains where other patients will be gathering, and staff will be available to take care of all of Virginia's needs...free of charge again, of course.
At that evening's gathering, the doc plans to remove Virginia's bandages in front of everyone helping her to shed her insecurities along with the gauze. However, there's a problem. Fay was a stowaway. They ask Virginia if she had anything to do with her being there. Virginia pulls a Judas and says that Fay is just her stepdaughter not her daughter, so Fay is ushered away. Now, back to the bandages!
The doctor and some staff start cutting the gauze from her hands and head. The bandages fall. They hold up a mirror! She's a...PIG! She has cloven hands! WHAT?!?
Ok ...so then they quickly explain that they all pledged THEIR souls to the devil and each year the doctor has to switch some unwitting person into a pig that they can then take to this retreat and sacrifice so that they can keep living as the beautiful people. BUT they do give them a small chance at making it out alive. All they have to do is run two miles through the woods. If the person makes it to the ocean before the whole spear-wielding mob hunts her down and kills her (Virginia doesn't), she can live.
Oh, but then I forgot the best part, the crowd brings Fay over to the dead Virginia and tells Fay, "By the way, your biological mother was one of us. It's time to take your place among the beautiful people." Cut to...Fay at college the following semester with no more glasses and a new hairstyle.
This had the potential to be something really good. They just threw that away with the bloody bandages. We know you can do better AHS.
6 Balloons (2018)
Realistic look at addiction/codependency
I watched this film before ever checking the meta score or reading some of the reviews and I'm glad I did. While not perfect (few films are), 6 Balloons gives a very honest look at addiction, but more so at codependency. It shows what it's like to love an addict and want to do everything you can to save them, even to the detriment of your own life. It shows how it's hard to simultaneously love and hate someone at the same time. And that ultimately there is only one person who can help the addict...themselves. All of this is underscored in the form of an audiobook being played intermittently throughout the movie. It's a movie about love and how sometimes loving someone means letting go.