Change Your Image
tisnarker
Reviews
Pinocchio (2022)
Soulless cash grab that disappoints
Somehow this was far more lifeless than when it was just animated. Tom Hanks was the only redeeming thing amongst the live actors. There were really conspicuous casting choices that took me right out of fantasy Italy. Weird product placement or out of place references insured that you could never forget your watching a pale imitation of the original made to cash in on "'member-berries." It all looked so plastic and sterile that you have to wonder if every part was generated by an algorithm. Do yourself a favor and just watch the cartoon version. Or read the book. Or even watching one of those knockoff films that tried to take advantage of the cartoon. At least those have heart.
She-Hulk: Attorney at Law (2022)
How was this made?
It wasn't funny. The special effects looked like something out of Nollywood. The acting was atrocious. There was no interesting story being told. And on top of it all, I feel like the show went out of its way to insult its viewers. How were none of these problems addressed during production?
Prey (2022)
Not good
Like an even more woke syfy channel film. Bad special effects and a lack of consistent internal logic take you out of the experience. But the real crime is how unlikable the main character is. No redeeming qualities. And what little plot there is gets to play second fiddle to an agenda driven political message.
Horror Noire (2021)
Sad waste of potential
This anthology was poorly filmed with talented actors that weren't given much too work with. Perhaps it was focusing more on the "message" than entertainment, or the perhaps the scripts were rushed to meet a fading fad, but nothing hit the mark. Not worth watching at all.
Death to 2021 (2021)
Sad waste of effort
The editing is really well done, but there was just nothing to work with. Zero laughs. It was less of a comedy special than a propaganda film. The message what put above content. I'm not sure who the intended audience is, but I imagine there would have been a huge overlap with Triumph of the Will.
Santa Inc. (2021)
Unfunny and sad
This is an ugly show in every way possible. I feel like the creators knew that going in and put very little effort into the writing or the performances. The only thing I could possible praise is that the animation is serviceable, if you keep in mind it was outsourced to the lowest bidders and probably given less than a month to throw it all together. A sad waste if time and bandwidth. Avoid this like the plague.
Chucky: Death by Misadventure (2021)
swing and a miss
Wow... I mean... wow. This is like bad fan fic, written by tumblr/twitty kids with no talent. No characterization outside of token box checks. The "scares" are weaker than an old goose bumps episode. Doesn't connect to the original feel of the franchise so much as give winking references to what they want you to think of as nostalgia. The whole thing was made for an audience that only exists in the heads of a few dozen delusional blue hairs. Makes a CW show look down right watchable in comparison. Avoid this like the plague!