tankboy-46851 Reviews

Avatar: The Last Airbender (2024– )

Uninspired & Terribly Bland... So...So...Sad.

[5/10 · 23 February 2024]

This show has been in the works for so darn long. I was really hoping that after marinating in production for so many years that this project would be something a little special and perhaps even add to the story created in the cartoon. It honestly doesn't.

Again, and again... studios have proven that just because you toss huge boatloads of money at a project doesn't make it a quality outing. The writing is quite bad and the acting is beyond abysmal. I love B-grade horror film acting, so I can forgive a lot... the lines are delivered like the preparation for a middle school play audition.

Despite the budget, the whole series has a YouTube fan-fiction quality about it. So much green screen, bad cgi, and cheesy info dumping.

The really sad part is the show wants to distance itself away from the terrible movie but ends up emulating it in so many ways.

Fans can probably give it a hard pass.

Thanksgiving (I) (2023)

A decent stalker, slasher

[7/10 · 18 November 2023]

I love horror movies, specifically my favorites are stalker/killer/slasher types.

I wasn't sure how Eli Roth would handle this type of movie because he's really more known for his "gore" rather than "run from the killer" style of films. Although I enjoy his dialogue in his former scripts and have good things to say about the hostel series, I was still a little skeptical.

My final verdict is a good one. I liked it. I thought the story was good, it was entertaining, and the killer scenes were pretty well done. I like how he inserted just enough humor to make me laugh, but didn't take it over the top. The jokes were subtle and just right.

The kills were pretty good too... knowing Eli Roth's past resume, I was afraid that he would take the gore too far... but thankfully he didn't.

A pretty satisfying horror holiday outing... I wouldn't mind a sequel now either.

Five Nights at Freddy's (2023)

Fantastic Visuals, Wafer-Thin Story

[6/10 · 27 October 2023]

So, I know it must be extremely difficult to take a simple gaming concept like Five Nights at Freddy's and stretch that idea out into a full blown movie. I totally understand that artistic hardship, but...The script missed the mark folks.

I honestly enjoyed the stunning look of everything, which I gather most people assume would be top notch given the studio that made the film, but wow... the basic story was so very weak. I'm pretty forgiving when it comes to horror movies, but this was moving into borderline "cheese", parody territory.

The positives: I was living for the look of the creature costumes. So many kudos there. The acting is pretty decent for a studio movie, as it really should be. Matthew Lillard was the standout performance in my opinion. The music was pretty cool too.

Everything considered, I honestly enjoyed myself, which is the point of any entertainment product after all. So I give it a six. But that side-story, and most of the dialogue really needed to bake in the oven a little longer before being served up.

Evil Dead Rise (2023)

Lifelong Evil Dead Fan - it's good

[8/10 · 24 April 2023]

I can breathe a sigh of relief now that I've seen it. The movies is really good. Not only is it a great horror film, but it's a great EVIL DEAD film.

I wasn't expecting the movie to be so dark in tone. All the interviews from the filmmakers state this is a direct sequel to the original evil dead movies. I disagree with this... the movie is identical in writing and tone to the 2013 adaptation. Which is totally fine. I really enjoyed ED2013. I went and saw that in theaters when it was released too.

This movie will sit happily on my shelf next to that one and get watched every single Halloween.

One thing I wasn't expecting was the gore. There is a TON of gore. I see some reviews wondering how this got an R-rating. It's true... I absolutely love it as an Evil Dead fan, but it's pretty shocking the amount of blood used.

Well done - to all involved. I hope we get another one.

The Super Mario Bros. Movie (2023)

Woo Hoo!

[9/10 · 11 April 2023]

Had so much fun. If you grew up playing Mario, or have kids that play any Nintendo games now, just go see it.

I was hoping for a feel-good movie that was funny, animated great, and gave both older and younger fans what they wanted. It does all of these things.

The voice acting was good, the jokes all work, and the animation is fantastic. Illumination was a good choice of studio to produce this. I saw it in 3-D and gotta say... the depth of color and rendering was probably some of the best I've ever seen.

Buy some popcorn, turn your brain off and just forget the worlds problems for an hour and a half. The best part? NO STUPID POLITICS! Just a good movie for everyone.

Scream VI (2023)

It's a solid 7

[7/10 · 12 March 2023]

An avid fan since the original, I've seen every Scream movie in theaters (and obviously many times since). Being a Scream lover is so fun, because you can re-watch and analyze the continuing storyline that has evolved over the years. My favorite sequel is part 2 and my least favorite is part 3. None have ever reached the slick and steady heights if the original... some have come really, really close, but don't quite get there for one reason or another.

Now we have Scream 6.

I sincerely applaud the efforts made this time around. New setting, new rules, higher chase scenes. The filmmakers really went for it. I'm glad it was different and not just a high-school buddy rehash.

Much like my feelings on Scream 2022 aka Scream 5, I feel like there's just a little something missing that I can't quite put my finger on. Maybe it's the musical score or the odd tension that Wes Craven was so fantastic at, but it feels a little off here.

Don't get me wrong... this is a really good Scream film and it will happily get a rotation in my periodic re-watches... but I've always been wishing and hoping for that solid sequel since Scream 2 that really blows my mind. Part 4,5, & 6 just don't quite get there for me (and part 3 sucked. Just my opinion).

The dialogue is great here, the chase scenes were pretty cool too. The twist was interesting as well, although I'm just a little conflicted on it.

All in all... pretty enjoyable. Still just keeping my hopes up for that classic SCREAM film that lets me say "Yes! My favorite since part 1!"

We Have a Ghost (2023)

I'll watch anything with David Harbour in it

[5/10 · 28 February 2023]

So, the movies "alright".

It's competently directed, acted, and it looks decent. The issue I have is it's waaaaaay long. For what the movie was presented to be, it should've been about and hour and forty five minutes TOPS. With a running time of two hours and six minutes... the film is extremely difficult to get through.

And... the tone is all over the place. Is it a comedy? A drama? A thriller? A mystery? It tried to be all of these things. I've seen a lot of movies on Netflix like this recently. Is it a Netflix thing? Or just something Hollywood is trying on for size. Hopefully they cut the crap because it doesn't work.

The main hero, Kevin, is really likeable. And I appreciate that. Performances are good, but the jumbled mess is not the casts fault. It rests with the filmmakers. Netflix should've advertised this as more of a drama revolving around a family. There ARE funny moments, but the preview makes it seem like this will carry throughout the entirety of the movie and it doesn't.

It's average and gets a higher rating for me because I'm a fan of David Harbour.

Star Trek: Strange New Worlds (2022– )

It definitely has the "magic" to it

[8/10 · 26 February 2023]

Went into the show with an open mind and I definitely wasn't let down. I feel like most of the "new" Star Trek shows are maneuvering into really weird and unsatisfying territory creatively. I still get some small enjoyment out of them, but the old recipe that truly made Star Trek great has noticeably been missing.

Not here though! Thankfully!

SNW honestly feels like a genuinely classic Star Trek series. The actings great, the writings good, the effects are fantastic. It really captures the passion of what made shows like the original so meaningful and timeless.

They don't deviate from what made Star Trek work so darn well. I really got into this particular version and will definitely be back for season two. I'm actually excited for it.

The Midnight Club (2022)

So, I liked the premise.

[5/10 · 5 January 2023]

The idea is cool. Kids (teens) are in hospice and tell stories revolving around horror and horror related elements. All the while being (sort of..?) haunted themselves.

I'll start with the good: the performances are very high standard. Really good acting by the main cast of teens. Also, it really captures the look and feel of the nineties. The production design was great.

However... the tone of this show is all over the freaking place. And I'm a person who's very forgiving when it comes to a fluctuation of horror/comedy/drama. I don't feel any movie or show should be constrained by one genre.

It's really distracting here. The Midnight Club is advertised as being a teen horror outing based on the books by Christopher Pike. It leans heavily on the drama of facing mortality and blasts you in the face with some scary stuff every once in a while.

Honestly the show is really... and I mean REALLY depressing. It's very much a drama about friends facing death at a young age, so be warned.

I wish it had been a little more consistent. Either make it a drama, or make it a slick teen horror nineties tribute. But the roller coaster of sad and scary was a bit much for me.

Best part about the whole show= Heather Langenkamp. I'm thrilled she's got such a big part. Extra star point for that!

Harry & Meghan: The Complete Story (2022)

Who is this for anyway?

[1/10 · 9 December 2022]

I had no clue what this was about before watching it. My partner and I love documentaries. (Good documentaries).

We thought this would be an interesting look inside H & M's lives and shed some light on some inner conversations or some private struggles. Or whatever...

This was a three episode FaceTime blog about how much Megan loves herself, how much H loves her, and how amazing, and awesome, and beautiful, and super intelligent she is.

It was difficult to watch.

The cringiest part was them talking about how difficult their struggles have become, and how hard it is to be famous and be in the public eye. Really?

I have empathy for famous people who never have a shred of privacy. I really do. But this docuseries, or whatever you wanna call it, does NOT come across that way. They whine about being rich and famous. They also wine about the same problems every single working class person has. Except we work several jobs just to pay the rent.

It's a three-part waste of time.

Slumberland (2022)

Not bad.

[7/10 · 4 December 2022]

It's definitely worth a shot.

Francis Lawrence is one of my favorite directors. I feel like he has an eye like no other. From I Am Legend to the Hunger Games Movies, he knows how to capture scenes that have beauty and subtle pain behind them.

Slumberland follows suit. It's good at showing the fairytail-like quality of the "waking world" despite it being...well... the waking world. And where the movie really shines is in its performances. Marlow Barkley is really fantastic. She shows a shocking amount of maturity for her age and in the role she's playing.

The rest of the supporting cast does extremely well too. Pretty top notch for an outing like this.

I think my biggest disappointment in the film is when we're in the dream world. No matter how great your director or crew is, nothing comes across quite as well in front of a gigantic green screen (of which most of the runtime plays out).

I know where all supposed to be "in a dream" but I feel practical sets and CGI used sparingly would have been the better way to go here.

Just like Star Wars I, II, & III, and Oz the Great and Powerful... a huge computer generated world without sets is really off putting and takes me out of the story.

Overall it's good wholesome family film with some genuine heart. I think it just could have been a little bit better.

Halloween Ends (2022)

Call me crazy... but I totally got this movie.

[7/10 · 15 October 2022]

Not what anyone would expect in a Halloween film at all. A u-turn from the previous two movies in this trilogy.. that's for darn sure.

Honestly, we've had Michael stalking around through eleven films at this point. Stalk, slash, kill, rinse, and repeat.

I was hoping for a finale movie that was so off the rails... something so far out there... a Halloween movie that would give me something drastically different than what came before it. And man... I certainly got what I wanted.

The tone of this movie is so depraved. It's like a dark Stephen King adaptation with a little splash of Rob Zombies Halloween II thrown in. I'm totally not kidding.

Watch this movie without ANY preconceived notions. About it.

David Gordon Greens direction is superb. I wasn't as taken with Halloween 2018 like some people. It was borderline generic in my opinion... but this movie. Wow.

The kills are less frequent than in the last movie but the overall violence here is cranked up to an eleven.

Jamie Lee Curtis said this would be a decisive Halloween movie and she was right. There are "purests" out there who will dislike the change of pace, but for me... it was a welcome departure from the same old formula. The twist in this movie was reminiscent of Halloweens past and I totally enjoyed it.

Like the first two movies it was certainly a slow burn and kinda long... but it gave me what I was hoping for and then some.

I'm hard to surprise and shock when it comes to horror films. Been watching them all my life. Bravo Blumhouse. Bravo.

Hellraiser (2022)

Satisfied Fan

[8/10 · 8 October 2022]

I've been an avid Hellraiser lover since I was a teenager. I snuck a copy of the VHS tape when I was fifteen and have seen every single one countless times. As every horror fanatic probably knows, there were some okay sequels and some really terrible ones. Given their direct to dvd punishments (no pun) and super low budgets, they never lived up to the first two movies.

I've been desperately wanting for a Hellraiser movie with a bigger price tag... pretty much my entire adult life.

I'm thrilled to say this one did not Disappoint.

I loved the tone, the lighting, the acting, the special effects, and even the newly revamped story... everything.

Jamie Clayton is awesomely fantastic as the new hell priest aka "pinhead". I was glued to the screen every time she showed up. The cenobites in general were given the love and care they honestly deserved for this kind of outing and I applaud the way Bruckner decided to put them on film.

Doug Bradly will always be the OG pinhead, and made the role what it has become, but I feel like these filmmakers made a new entry in the franchise that stands alongside the first two. I was truly impressed. Coming from a longtime fan, that's really saying something.

No spoilers at all... but there was a certain scene that takes place inside a van that blew my freaking mind. The way it was conceived and shot... wow... chefs kiss.

Every Halloween I re-watch Hellraiser and Hellbound. Now I can add this to the list. I'm a happy fan.

Hocus Pocus 2 (2022)

Better than I expected. Could have been better...

[6/10 · 30 September 2022]

This is coming from a fan.

My folks took me to see the original in theaters when I was a kid. I had no idea back then it would become one of my favorite Halloween movies of all time alongside Beetlejuice and Adams Family, and a be a regular fall staple.

Pros: I was very afraid this was going to be a case of Disney just paying Bette, Sarah, and Kathy millions to just "show up on set and be in costume" in order to cash in on people's nostalgia with no real effort put into anything else. It's not that. The movie is lit and shot really well... set dressed properly, and doesn't feel Disney Channel cheap. The women are doing their best with the performances and I was happy with that! There some good ideas here. Callbacks to the first movie that didn't seem overly done or weirdly out of place... some actually funny jokes. The music is pretty decent too. And the songs and choreography they added... very nice!

Cons: the lead actor portraying the "new 16 year old witch" main character. She needed to be more likable to carry the film. She came off as bratty and sulky the ENTIRE movie. Her whole story arc was "I'm a witch finding my powers" and "you ignored me first... so there!"

It was pretty bland and annoying in my opinion.

I really wish they had at least attempted to get small cameos from the original cast of kids from part one. I was really wishing and waiting for this to happen... and it never did. They could've thrown in Allison as a teacher at the school and that would've been enough. But no.

I also didn't care for the fact that the filmmakers Decided to change some of the lore. They kept movie consistency with some things, but didn't keep them in others? Why? If the movie was made for fans, why keep some things the same but not everything? That was sort of disappointing for me.

There were minor changes that could have easily elevated the film to where it needed to be. Just a shame they didn't pay attention to the little details in this regard. They could've even watched the first one and taken some pointers. Oh well. Missed opportunity.

So very close... but didn't quite win the trophy on this outing. Hopefully there will be a part 3 to right the wrongs?

The Munsters (2022)

The sets were the best part.

[5/10 · 28 September 2022]

So, just to start off, I am a Rob Zombie fan. I don't like all his films, but I respect when he swings for the fences and gets a win. Some hits and some misses.

I went into this wanting Rob Zombie to pull a rabbit out of his hat and blow everyone away.

Pros: the sets are really cool. Whoever designed them and anyone that worked on it should feel proud. They look awesome. I'm kinda jealous. If I ever made a movie, I'd love to use them. The lighting was cool too. I know the garish green and purple highlighting will bother some people, but I kinda dig that sort of stuff. And the acting actually wasn't bad either. Everyone was trying really hard with their respective performances and trying to be campy.

Cons: there is something really off about the movie I can't put my finger on. The editing feels "slow" or "delayed" maybe? I can't explain it but maybe some tightening up was in order. The music (or sound effects rather) are trying to imitate the old 60's show. And it doesn't work. They could've hired someone to compose a memorable score and it would've been a lot better. And finally... the film is boring. It feels like it's three hours long. It's really not funny. Rob should have hired another writer to polish things up. Play to your strengths.

There are things that could've been enhanced and the movie would work soooo much better. I'm afraid to say, I think this one's a miss.

Jurassic World Dominion (2022)

Who signed off on this garbage script?

[2/10 · 21 September 2022]

They should be ashamed of themselves. Who read this piece of trash and thought it was a good idea? I couldn't tell if I was watching a mixture of Dan Browns Inferno, Jason Bourne, national treasure, and Indiana Jones sprinkled with some weird environmental message and... oh yeah.. dinosaurs thrown in too.

What really boils my blood, is that I've been waiting to see the original legacy characters all back together in a Jurassic Park movie for over 25 years!

The "action" sequences were so unbelievably overblown and high-octane, that it felt like I was watching a McG, Michael Bay, and Quentin Tarantino backyard "what if" film after a total meltdown from a sugar high. So many big explosions and stupid cliche action movie fist-fights until my eyes couldn't roll anymore. Seriously?

The pitch meeting was "Hey, you know how cool Tom Cruise looks in the mission impossible movies when he's punching people and blowing crap up? Let's do that! With Dinosaurs!"

Totally lame. Watch Steven Spielbergs original and save two and a half hours of your life.

The Umbrella Academy (2019–2024)

Massive drop in quality

[6/10 · 8 September 2022]

I have no idea what happened to the third season.

I really enjoyed the first season of this show. I loved the tone, the characters, the conflicts... the story was totally unique in my opinion.

The second season was alright. I don't think it was as original or engaging. But it was still watchable and has some redeeming things about it.

Season three? Wow.

I honestly thought it was a joke. I watched the entire thing and couldn't believe what was happening... absolutely nothing!

The preview Netflix put out seemed great. A fantastic idea! I was really excited for it.

Boy was I wrong. Season three is total garbage. The writing sucks. The story sucks. The forced conflict and drama sucks.

Every scene, in every episode, is characters standing around discussing why they are mad and pouting. Sheesh.

Stick with season one and watch it like a good movie.

The Lord of the Rings: The Rings of Power (2022– )

Ok, so totally not as bad as Amazon made it look...

[6/10 · 2 September 2022]

I went into this with as open of mind as I could possibly have. It's actually not that bad. The issue for me was Amazon's promotion and advertisement. They made the series look like it was going to be an absolute dumpster fire of epic proportions. It's not.

The production values are good. The costumes and sets are amazing, and I even enjoy the music. At least you can argue the billion dollar price tag went somewhere to help its core aesthetics.

The pacing is terrible, but it's a series not a movie. So that I can forgive somewhat.

Where the first two episodes suffer is the acting and some of the writing. There are parts that sound really good and are acted really well... then they turn around and have scenes that are pretty cringy. The writing sucks and the acting isn't as good.

It almost feels like maybe they tried polishing some things in reshoots and left others? I really can't tell. The tones are pretty inconsistent in the first two episodes. They don't balance fantasy whimsy and dark forbidding, and/brooding successfully.

I will say this though... It's better than the hobbit trilogy. Which I think was botched beyond recognition.

House of the Dragon: The Rogue Prince (2022) Season 1, Episode 2

Fantastic episode

[10/10 · 29 August 2022]

This show is exceeding my expectations. I've read all the books many times (including Fire and Blood).

In GOT, the show runners had dialogue taken right from the books to help as templates for The scripts. Ryan Condal doesn't have that. Fire and Blood part I, is written like a history book and more of an outline. The original dialogue that Ryan has written astounds me. It rivals anything that was in the original show. It flows in line with the best episodes of GOT, and can't wait to see what they do later in the season.

This episode (and the previous one) are so perfectly in line with the lore, while expanding it too. Coming from a super fanboy, I can say this show so far is top notch.

House of the Dragon: The Heirs of the Dragon (2022) Season 1, Episode 1

Super Pumped

[9/10 · 22 August 2022]

Great first episode. I watched the whole thing practically holding my breath. I was relieved when it was done. Everything was handled fantastically. This gives me hope for the whole season. I think we're in great hands.

Day Shift (2022)

You can't make a good movie out of a bad script.

[4/10 · 14 August 2022]

It's true what they say.

I like Jaime Foxx and vampires flicks. I've watched hundreds of vampire movies to see how the FX stand up. It's fun to see how vampire lore changes from film to film.

Day Shift has great production values. I like everything from the acting (for the most part) and the way it's shot. The fights are well done and the vampire effects are pretty cool. The way the movie is lit is good and direction is decent.

The major (and I do mean major) issue here is the writing. The dialogue is beyond terrible and the story is so generic, it could be called paint by numbers scripting. Netflix threw a ton of money at this thing to try and make it look good. But that's really about it.

I read in a previous review that it feels like a 90's cop/buddy film. If that's what the filmmakers were trying to emulate it kind of succeeds. I guess. Looking at it through those eyes, it gains a point or two. But overall, with a runtime of almost two hours this thing is way, way too long.

This was a nice try but could have been much better.

Joe vs. Carole (2022)

I enjoyed it

[7/10 · 3 March 2022]

So I wasn't sure how they would add anything new to the circus that was Tiger King. Or better yet, flesh out the characters (based on real people) into a full fledged "working show".

But it kinda works well for a scripted comedy/drama, and better yet, it's pretty entertaining too.

Kate as Carole is really funny (but she's always funny anyway) and brings a good amount of seriousness and truth to the dramatized version of Carole Baskin. I enjoy that she doesn't play her as an overblown skit or cartoon parody.

The real shocker to me was John Cameron Mitchell as Joe. I mean wow... I would have never have predicted his casting... but damn does he shine. I grew up with Hedwig, and his other directorial outings too.

The mannerisms used and especially the vocal work Mitchell does for this part... I mean he actually becomes Joe Exotic.

I laughed, binged, and saw some surprisingly tender scenes. Would definitely recommend the show.

And Just Like That... (2021– )

Depressing.

[2/10 · 31 December 2021]

My partner and I waited for this reunion "reboot" all year. We were super pumped because the original SATC was kind of like a "go-to" show when you want to giggle, have a cosmo, and lift your spirits after a hard week. You know?

This hybrid thing is completely different in tone, and style from what came before. I've watched every single episode so far, and whenever I do, I come away from it feeling really dark and sad.

The situations are all "super drama" filled upsetting, and just...drab. All the women are portrayed either angry, unjustly irrational, clueless about new age politics, or just depressed (all of the time!) There's no style and no fun upbeat humor like in the original.

Watching the old show felt like these women were going to make it! No matter what! Watching AJLT inadvertently sends the message that when you reach fifty, life is going to start sucking...big time. And I guarantee that's not what the showrunners were going for.

When watching AJLT, it feels like I'm watching a cross between Six Feet Under, days of our lives, and the L-Word with Carrie, Miranda, and Charlotte.

My partner is going to watch the whole thing but I'm not. I'm tired of walking away feeling like I need to curl up in bed and cry that life is passing me by.

Dune (2021)

Extremely well done

[9/10 · 26 October 2021]

Just caught it on HBO. Arguably the best adaptation by far. A lot of money went into this, and it shows. Thankfully none of it was wasted. Oscar worthy sound and music.

I went into this not knowing what to expect and I certainly wasn't disappointed.

Halloween Kills (2021)

The most chaos in a Halloween movie ever...

[9/10 · 16 October 2021]

This is something totally different than every other Halloween movie. In a good way.

We've had ten prior entries (if you don't count part III of course) with Michael. By and large, they have all been pretty paint by numbers. Michael grabs butcher knife, people run... hack...slash... slow walk stalk... repeat. I'm a total fan of this series. I've seen every movie more times than I can count...

I wasn't "blown away" by the 2018 entry. I adore seeing Jamie Lee Curtis come back and do the movies the justice they deserve. Don't get me wrong... 2018 was competent and totally decent... I just wasn't knocked over by it.

This movie however... is an animal unto itself. I wasn't expecting to enjoy it as much as I did. There's a dark, and gritty realism to these chapters that somehow give it a brand new flavor. If the last version was a hot sauce... this would be its hardcore, older, ghost pepper flavored cousin.

It was gory, chaotic, and relentless. There were some side story arcs I totally wasn't expecting. I honestly can't wait to watch it again and completely digest what I just saw.

David Gordon Green didn't completely reinvent the wheel, but he certainly added his unique mark to it. Kudos! Great entry and I will totally pre-purchase my ticket for the next one.