Because clearly these guys just can't. I felt like I was in a graduate school film course watching the idiots of the classes final project and they think their "one shot" film is going to be creative and cool. Except it couldn't have been more obvious WHERE the cuts were. My god it was cringy. I couldn't get past it so I was mad the whole film making everything else irrelevant.
Reviews
10 Reviews
The Vampire Diaries
(2009–2017)
Rabbit Hole
12 November 2017
I mean, legitimately what is happening. I have never seen a show where so many characters go from being the antagonist to the protagonist. It starts out portraying Damon as this Satanic psycho evil vamp. And that "he must be stopped". Then he is substituted for another villain...who is substituted by another villain. And everyone so easily forgets the evils committed by all of the above. I mean, Damon literally kills Elena's brother and Stefan's best friend and does all kinds of horrible stuff and then it's just forgotten. And now the Originals aren't even the bad guys? It's just a rabbit hole.
Lost
(2004–2010)
Jack Shephard: Worst character in TV history
18 September 2017
This is just a big Jack rant. I have literally never hated a character more than Jack. He's a jerk always. He breathes hard like he's been sprinting for miles always. His mouth always looks like he is holding a bunch of water in it. You know like when someone tries to talk with water in their mouth, how their jaw sort of protrudes? He defies everyone else in their opinions always. He whines when others don't immediately agree that his plans are the greatest always. He's literally always mad. And whoever the writer is needs to be punched in the face because every time Jack gets huffy and pissy, he uses the person's name. "What are you trying to say, JOHN?" "Well that isn't really the plan and I'm the self appointed leader, JOHN."
If it weren't for Jack and all of the pointless conversations, I would probably have enjoyed the show. But the writer's could never find a way to transition properly. They always lazily used arguments and fights to get to something. Two people would push and shove each other and one of them would fall on something that revealed something. It's lazy and honestly infuriating.
Rant over.
If it weren't for Jack and all of the pointless conversations, I would probably have enjoyed the show. But the writer's could never find a way to transition properly. They always lazily used arguments and fights to get to something. Two people would push and shove each other and one of them would fall on something that revealed something. It's lazy and honestly infuriating.
Rant over.
It
(I) (2017)
For simple minded, Stranger Things loving, millennials
10 September 2017
Warning: Spoilers
If you've ever seen the original, and you have even the slightest modicum of respect for originality, story telling and artistic integrity, this movie should infuriate you. Firstly, it isn't really a movie. There is no story. It's basically just a 2 hour collection of different sorts of scares. The brilliance with the original was that it was a story of kids torn apart by a traumatic event, and then brought back together as adults to face their fears and avenge their friend. Great story. But this version was essentially a haunted house on the screen. They abandoned the kid to adult story and just focused on a group of kids getting scared. There was way too much "comedy" being sprinkled throughout. You know, the lame kind where the characters make some unoriginal comment and everyone in the movie theater bursts out laughing like Dave Chappelle just hit his stride on stage. And the random love stories among the kids that didn't matter or further any narrative. I could write a 10,000 word essay going into the depths of all that is wrong with this movie so I'll stop. The worst of all is watching all of America fall in love with this. It makes me feel like a cynical jerk, but I think really it's just a clear sign of the dumbing down of people on this earth. No one respects or cares about great storytelling anymore. Just give them cheap pop-up scares and they will be happy. It really is sad.
Keeping Up with the Joneses
(2016)
Honestly just angers me.
18 August 2017
Am I the only one who has those moments during movies or shows that characters just anger you so much because of their stupidity even when you know and understand that the whole idea of that character is too be stupid and clueless? This is basically the epitome of that sort of story. It's just 2 hours of Fisher and Galafinakis doing exactly what they shouldn't do at all time. Hamm says don't turn around and Zach turns around. Hamm says "duck!" and Zach says "where?" even though there are people chasing them and trying to murder them. I know, this is stupid to get mad at. But It's honestly just infuriating to watch.
Ozark
(2017–2022)
Good show but unnecessarily positions all southerners as bigots.
23 July 2017
I was conflicted. I was enjoying the story and cinematography. But they basically turned every person in the Ozark into a racist, sexist, etc. I'm so sick of political agenda getting in the way of entertainment/art. I'm from the Ozark. I actually know this people very well. None of them are openly racist or sexist as this show would imply. They aren't dumb as this show would have you believe. Of course Jason Bateman and Laura Linney are portrayed as humans herding cavemen. But I went to Columbia University and other people from my town went on to decent colleges as well. Let's just all be more conscious about how we portray people. This sort of stuff demonizes great people.
The Boy
(2016)
Just. Leave. The. House.
9 July 2017
Just another obvious story of a person who didn't leave the house after the first weird occurrence. It's honestly just hard to watch stuff like this. The moment anything, I mean ANYTHING, weird happens....just leave. It's so unrealistic. I give it a 5 just because I get to look at Maggie from The Walking Dead for two hours.
Interstellar
(2014)
Possibly the Greatest Piece of Film Ever Made.
5 February 2017
I have watched this movie 4 times.
And every time, I understand more that this is quite possibly the greatest film ever made.
People will call the pace too slow.
They'll say the math and visualizations are implausible.
But I am an Astrophysicist. It is what I do. By night I am a movie buff.
And in my life I have never seen a movie so accurately researched and so appropriately paced.
It needs to be long. We have to explain in great detail.
The emotion is perfect. The story is beautiful.
For me, Forrest Gump used to take the cake.
I think this surpasses.
And every time, I understand more that this is quite possibly the greatest film ever made.
People will call the pace too slow.
They'll say the math and visualizations are implausible.
But I am an Astrophysicist. It is what I do. By night I am a movie buff.
And in my life I have never seen a movie so accurately researched and so appropriately paced.
It needs to be long. We have to explain in great detail.
The emotion is perfect. The story is beautiful.
For me, Forrest Gump used to take the cake.
I think this surpasses.
Split
(IX) (2016)
Way too obvious.
4 February 2017
Warning: Spoilers
From the first 30 seconds of the film, they begin hitting us over the head with the fact that Casey isn't supposed to be with the other two girls.
She's the weird outcast. She wasn't supposed to be in the car. McAvoy's hesitation with using Chloroform on her. There were only two beds. His female personality whispering about the "two girls". I could go on and on. She wasn't the target.
They just continue giving the movie away so blatantly, that it's almost maddening as a viewer. There are four different instances before the beast appears where the personalities literally say "you are pure, nothing bad has ever happened in your life, I have a special night planned for you", while they are unraveling Casey's rape story.
I mean, 30 minutes into the movie after the first clip with the Uncle, I was screaming at the screen saying "Casey! Just tell McAvoy that you were raped and he will let you go!".
And then all the way to the very freaking end even after he is screaming about his hatred for "pure" people who have never had a tough life, she STILL can't grasp that all she has to do is reveal her rape. We have to sit there while M. Night unveils the scars on her body, as if it's the next coming of the "Bruce Willis was dead the whole time?!" reveal.
Darn you, M. Night. You clearly treated us like we were stupid. But then again, I guess this generation of selfie obsessed egomaniacs isn't as smart as the late 90's generation.
She's the weird outcast. She wasn't supposed to be in the car. McAvoy's hesitation with using Chloroform on her. There were only two beds. His female personality whispering about the "two girls". I could go on and on. She wasn't the target.
They just continue giving the movie away so blatantly, that it's almost maddening as a viewer. There are four different instances before the beast appears where the personalities literally say "you are pure, nothing bad has ever happened in your life, I have a special night planned for you", while they are unraveling Casey's rape story.
I mean, 30 minutes into the movie after the first clip with the Uncle, I was screaming at the screen saying "Casey! Just tell McAvoy that you were raped and he will let you go!".
And then all the way to the very freaking end even after he is screaming about his hatred for "pure" people who have never had a tough life, she STILL can't grasp that all she has to do is reveal her rape. We have to sit there while M. Night unveils the scars on her body, as if it's the next coming of the "Bruce Willis was dead the whole time?!" reveal.
Darn you, M. Night. You clearly treated us like we were stupid. But then again, I guess this generation of selfie obsessed egomaniacs isn't as smart as the late 90's generation.
American Crime
(2015–2017)
Season 2: Massive over exaggeration of issues
5 September 2016
Terrible. Season 1 was fantastic. Season two is all over the place. The overwhelmingly MASSIVE lack of acceptance for homosexuality. Why is everyone so appalled by this kid being gay? I grew up in a small town. It was not like this when a kid came out.
The unimaginable disbelief of every single person that a man could be raped. Regina King literally says "What?! A man can't be raped."...You're telling me she portrays a very smart and successful grown woman and she can't fathom a world where men can be raped? Thank you writers for trying to make everyone feel stupid.
Then the random interjections of the Mexican/Black war being waged at the "other" school (can't think of the name because there is absolutely no development of the story around it).
THEN the random dialogued race baiting, which season 1 did not contain. One example when they're all sitting at the dinner table talking about how white people are entitled. That scene had absolutely nothing to do with propelling the story.
I am truly astounded at how atrocious season 2 was. Season one dealt well with racial divides and real issues without ever deviating from the story or making the viewer feel stupid.
The unimaginable disbelief of every single person that a man could be raped. Regina King literally says "What?! A man can't be raped."...You're telling me she portrays a very smart and successful grown woman and she can't fathom a world where men can be raped? Thank you writers for trying to make everyone feel stupid.
Then the random interjections of the Mexican/Black war being waged at the "other" school (can't think of the name because there is absolutely no development of the story around it).
THEN the random dialogued race baiting, which season 1 did not contain. One example when they're all sitting at the dinner table talking about how white people are entitled. That scene had absolutely nothing to do with propelling the story.
I am truly astounded at how atrocious season 2 was. Season one dealt well with racial divides and real issues without ever deviating from the story or making the viewer feel stupid.
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