jordansepticeye Reviews

Commando (1985)

His Muscles...Are Sweaty,His Guns...Are Loaded,His Movie...Is Awesome!

[9/10 · 29 April 2017]

I've recently decided to start an Arnold Schwarznegger movie marathon,and I started with this one.First,the good,the action of course,very well choreographed and memorable,this movie almost felt like a video game,besides all the shootouts,there was a great knife fight.The pacing,the action is nonstop,so the movie goes by fast,but not too fast.The characters,they are decently acted,and are all memorable.The addition of Rae Dawn Chong's character was one I liked,she provided some much needed comedy to balance the over the top nature of this movie.The music,while outdated,is fun and fits the film perfectly.The best part of the movie,Arnold,of course,he is so entertaining,spitting out one liners and being super intimidating,while he may seem unrealistic in the climax,it makes sense because throughout they show his strength,which is a lot more than the average person.Now,the bad,the acting at times isn't that great,and sometimes the stupidity is pretty high.Commando is a highly entertaining action movie that is nearly perfect.

The Fast and the Furious: Tokyo Drift (2006)

Change Of Pace Doesn't Seem Too Fresh

[5/10 · 18 April 2017]

First,the good,the cameos,they may seem unimportant,but they're very cool and honor the past.The racing,it is a bit different,and I like how there is a lot more practical stunts than CGI.I liked that the races were part of the plot,and even though it wasn't the best,the plot did flow nicely.Some characters,like Han and Twinkie(yes that's his name)were decently acted and entertaining.The main character had a few good scenes as well.The best part is the new setting of Tokyo,it is very different and the movie does a good job of exploring the racing culture.Now,the bad,the characters,they aren't nearly as memorable as the originals,and aren't acted the best.The main character is pretty wooden,and the villain had a weak motivation and wasn't that threatening or entertaining,he was just an asshole.The action,it all feels the same,but it's still pretty good.The movie mainly suffers from being unmemorable.All in all,Tokyo Drift has good racing scenes and a nice setting,but it also has weak characters and isn't the most memorable,it probably should've been a direct to DVD movie.

2 Fast 2 Furious (2003)

The Lack Of Diesel Fuel Doesn't Hurt This Movie Too Bad

[7/10 · 17 April 2017]

Sorry about that pun.First,the good,the villain,he is much better than the one from the first movie,he is slightly charming,but feels like a real killer.The action,it is well paced and executed,and very fun.There is a lot more races,but that's not a bad thing when cars are the heart of this franchise.The music is great,and there is a lot more humor mainly due to Tyrese Gibson,and other characters like Ludicrous.The characters in general,are good,they're very entertaining and are good replacements for the original cast.The best part is Paul Walker and Tyrese Gibson's chemistry,seeing them get at each other's throats is just as fun as them having regular everyday conversations.Now,the bad,some of the dialogue feels very stupid and unrealistic,and sometimes the action outweighs the story.The worst part though,even though this movie was pretty good,the lack of Vin Diesel affects the movie a bit,as he was a great character and one of the best parts of the original,I also kind of missed the others.2 Fast 2 Furious is a really fun movie that feels slightly empty with the missing characters.

The Fast and the Furious (2001)

Entertaining Action Movie,But Not The Best

[7/10 · 17 April 2017]

This is the one that started it all,is it more than just Point Break with cars?Let's find out.First,the good,the action,the race scenes are great,but there is also some good fist fights.The climax,it was intense and had some great stunts.The soundtrack,while it dates the film a bit,there's no denying it fits the tone perfectly.This may sound a bit stupid,but the editing was great,it had a fast pace that worked terrifically.I liked that there seemed to be little CGI involved,it seemed like there was a lot of practical stunts.The story,while it may not be the best it is well told.The best part,which sets this film apart from Point Break,is the characters,they feel real and are likable,even if most of them are criminals,the acting was good,even if some dialogue wasn't the best.Now,the bad,the pacing,while a movie like this doesn't need to be long,I feel like it went by a bit too fast.The ending,it was kind of dumb,but I did like how it completed Paul Walker's arc of the film.The villain,while he did have one good scene,he wasn't memorable at all.The script,due to the writing,the story's a bit hard to follow.Overall,The Fast and The Furious is a fun movie with great characters,but some bad scripting.

Collateral Damage (2002)

Mediocre Arnie Movie Is A Waste Of Potential

[5/10 · 16 April 2017]

This movie was okay,not the worst,not the best.First,the good,the story,well it is generic,it is well executed and it has a few good twists and turns.The pacing,the movie went by fast,but not too fast.The villains,they weren't amazing,but they were well written,they were intimidating and brutal,but you could understand were they were coming from,which was unexpected from an Arnold Schwarznegger movie.The climax,well not the best,was exciting and suspenseful.The best part though,was Arnold himself,well he does have to act through some bad dialogue,he was entertaining,and in a great twist,Arnold isn't an invincible badass,he gets hurt and fails to save people.Now,the bad,as I said,some of the dialogue is really stupid and cheesy.Even though this movie is kind of serious,there are some dumb moments that feel very out of place and take away from scenes that should be serious.The action,it runs a bit too short,and feels very repetitive,there's some shooting,and then too many explosions,excluding the climax.In the end,Collateral Damage has good villains and some good twists,but suffers from weak action,and bad scripting.

Dave Chappelle: Killin' Them Softly (2000 TV Special)

Hilarious Precursor To Chappelle's Show

[9/10 · 15 April 2017]

I'm a huge fan of Dave Chappelle so of course I loved this HBO special.This stand up special was released right in between Dave's two most iconic comedies,Half Baked and Chappelle's Show,so he wasn't as big as he is now.First,the good,Dave covers a lot of topics,ranging from Sesame Street to the police.Dave's delivery and timing is perfect,his physical performance is good,and his vocals are amazing.As always(except maybe Half Baked),Chappelle makes great jokes about the differences between races and our cultures.Dave also feels like a real person,he laughs at his own jokes at times and even high fives audience members.He also has some political humor and jokes about the differences between men and women,some of it may feel outdated by today's standards,but this special did come out in 2000.Now,the bad,I loved this special,but it does have one flaw,it doesn't matter that much,but the second half feels a bit outdated and is nowhere near as laugh out loud funny as the first half.All in all,Killin' Them Softly is hilarious and still culturally relevant,but it slightly suffers from a kind of weak second half.

Shallow Hal (2001)

A Big Surprise

[8/10 · 28 December 2016]

I thought this was going to be mediocre based on the reviews,but I was wrong,this film has a good concept,and it executes that concept great.First,the good,when the jokes are there they don't feel forced,they feel natural,and they are funny.The pacing,the movie goes by nicely,not too slow,not too fast.The story is really good,and has a great message about inner beauty.The best part though,the characters,they feel real and are well acted.Now,the bad,I feel like the score dates the film a bit,and some jokes don't work.I feel like the movie was a bit too long,but the biggest flaw is that it is hypocritical,if the message is that inner beauty is more important than what's on the outside,why make fun of the disabled?All in all,the pros outweigh the cons,I thought this was a good movie.

Lethal Weapon (1987)

Lethal Fun!

[10/10 · 25 December 2016]

This movie is fantastic.First,the good,the action,it is not too over the top,feels real and is excellently choreographed.The story,while generic fits the tone and doesn't matter too much as this movie is about the characters anyway.The humor works and is really good.The Christmas setting is the perfect contrast to the gritty drug filled streets of the 80s.Speaking of that,the film does the perfect job of contrasting the lives of the two main characters.The best part though,Mel Gibson,his acting is perfect,and his character has many layers,he's scary,dangerous,funny,and badass.All in all Lethal Weapon is a classic,it may be slightly outdated,but it has great action,characters,dark tone,and storyline.

Moonraker (1979)

Fun Bond Flick With Poor Humor

[7/10 · 16 December 2016]

This movie,while not bad,definitely isn't one of the best,though it is better than other entries of this franchise in the 70s(Diamonds are Forever,and The Man With the Golden Gun).But before the negatives,the positives,I like how it jumps right into the story,Bond gets a mission,and investigates it immediately.The score is great,and so is the cinematography.The locations are fantastic and exotic.Roger Moore does a good job,he is very confident and seems to be enjoying himself,and in an unexpected twist,when Bond is in danger,he actually seems scared.The action is very good,with great choreography and variety,everything from boat chases to hand to hand combat.The Bond girl is decent,I like how it takes nearly the whole movie for her to actually fall in love with Bond.The villain,while monotone,is menacing and does more than the similar Stromberg in The Spy Who Loved Me.Now,the bad,some acting is a bit wooden,the pacing is pretty bad,varying from too fast to too slow.Some action scenes end too fast,just to have a cheap joke.That's the biggest problem,most of the jokes are very cheap and slapsticky.Moonraker is very fun,with great action and a villain,but it is weighed down by the cheap humor.

Tomorrow Never Dies (1997)

Style Over Substance Brings This Bond Film Slightly Down

[9/10 · 11 December 2016]

I did like this movie,a lot,it's just a few flaws bring it down.First,the good,the social commentary about the media is very true and interesting.I like how the pre title sequence is from MI6's perspective and it is well done.The villains are delightfully over the top and entertaining,the villain's plan is very original even if it is a bit stupid.The Bond girls are really good and well acted.The action is fantastic,well choreographed with lots of variety.I love that one scene shows Bond's more emotional side.The bad,the main girl doesn't do much,and the biggest flaw is that the action outweighs the story by a landslide,yes the plot is simple,but a bigger emphasis on it would help.Tomorrow Never Dies has great villains and action,but a weak story.

GoldenEye (1995)

The Perfect 90s Bond Film

[10/10 · 11 December 2016]

The movie is fantastic,the only flaw is that the score is not that great,but I still like it.So,I'll talk about the good,the feel,this movie is very energetic while still feeling realistic.Pierce Brosnan is very good,taking all the best elements of the previous actors and mixing them together,he is believable in the action scenes and has great chemistry with the Bond girls,who are also great.The villains are perfect,and the right amount of crazy.The action is perfect,from the pre title sequence to the exciting tank chase in Russia.All in all,Goldeneye is a great entry in the franchise,and a great revival after a 6 year hiatus due to the failure of License to Kill,it has a great vibe,terrific villains,fantastic action,and a great "modern" feel.

Silent Night, Deadly Night (1984)

Decent Christmas Slasher Film

[5/10 · 30 November 2016]

First,the good,the killer,he is unique and very interesting when it comes to his personality.The kills,they are creative and have great effects.The setting and the beginning are very creepy.The score and cinematography are good.There is a great scene where the killer talks to a little girl.I like how the movie shows that nobody is completely nice.The best part is the first 30 minutes,similar to the Halloween remake,they both delve into the killer's mind and how he is affected by the world around him.Now,the bad,the characters,they are all unlikable and you don't care about any of them.Another flaw is that there is too much nudity,it makes you feel awkward while watching it.There is no suspense and the killer gets worse once he starts killing everyone in sight for no reason and only saying the word "punish".Silent Night,Deadly Night is very overrated(horror fans love it),although it has good kills,setting,and concept,it also is too in your face,with no characters to care about.

Legends of the Hidden Temple (2016 TV Movie)

Great For A Nickelodeon TV Movie Based On A Game Show

[8/10 · 30 November 2016]

I know that was a bit harsh,but I did really like this film.First,the good,the characters they are decently developed and acted.The effects and action are decent,and the set design is amazing.The writers did a good job on taking everything in the TV show and expanding it.The humor,some jokes are really clever,like the references to the show ad some word puns.The score is good,and so is the cinematography.Now,the bad,the acting at times is too over the top.I thought that the movie was too fast in the last 30 minutes,and the biggest flaw,too much exposition,almost everything in the movie is explained,like come on,I think the audience can understand the movie without explanations every 5 seconds.All in all,this is a really fun nostalgiac film with a few flaws.

Licence to Kill (1989)

Great Action Thriller,Doesn't "Feel" Like Bond

[9/10 · 24 November 2016]

This movie,well loved by many fans,seems to be forgotten by the public,and I don't see why,if they praise Daniel Craig for being dark,why not Dalton?First,the good,the action,it is well choreographed and has great stunt work.The score and the cinematography are,like always,fantastic.The story,it is simple,but very suspenseful and personal,Bond isn't off fighting some businessman in a volcano lair,he's fighting a drug dealer who killed his best friend.The characters,they are well written and feel real.The Bond girl,she is tough and has good chemistry with Timothy Dalton.The villain,he is very serious and realistic.Plus the movie was never boring.Now,the bad,I thought the Bond Girl was a bit annoying at times,there was some bad acting,and it doesn't have the Bond "feel",if you understand.License to Kill is a great Bond movie,that doesn't feel like one.

Bride of Chucky (1998)

Chucky Adapts To The "Scream" Era

[8/10 · 13 November 2016]

This movie was good,not much of suspense or story,but it is a good time.First,the good,the tone,I liked the Gothic feel of it,as that was something new for the series.The soundtrack,it is fun and fits the tone perfectly,just like the cinematography.The horror and media references,they don't feel forced and make it feel like Chucky is learning to change with the times.The kills,they are over the top and gory,and really fun.The best part though,Chucky and his bride Tiffany,they have fantastic chemistry and work great together.Now,the cons,there is one really big plot hole that is confusing.Some of the humour is way too obvious and doesn't work("If they made a movie about it,it'd take 3-4 sequels").The human characters,due to the focus on Chucky and Tiffany,the humans get barely any development,and end up feeling like cardboard cutouts of people.I also thought that the ending was a bit weak.Bride of Chucky is a fun refreshing sequel,but with boring human characters.

Child's Play 3 (1991)

Fun Sequel Tries Nothing New

[7/10 · 13 November 2016]

Some Chucky fans hate this film,I can see why,like Halloween 5 this film was rushed,it came out less than a year after the previous one,though I thought it was pretty good.First,the pros,the setting,it provides good character development for the main character Andy,and it is unique.The climax was really cool,and creative.Some characters,like the barber,were entertaining.Chucky,I don't like his animatronics,but he is still funny,and very brutal.The best part,the kills,they are funny,and very creative.The cons,the acting,I felt it was too over the top,and made the movie seem more stupid than funny.The characters,I didn't care about any of them.There were a lot of very noticeable plot holes.I thought the movie suffered from not trying anything new,while the military school setting was different,I felt it should've more than just like the last two movies.An example of this is Friday the 13th,while they stuck to a formula,they each had different elements to spice it up,such as Part 6 having metahumour and no Jason in Part 5.All in all,Child's Play 3 is generic,but fun.

Skyfall (2012)

Excellent Way To Celebrate James Bomd's 50th Anniversary

[10/10 · 13 November 2016]

This movie is awesome.First,the bad,Daniel Craig seems a bit bored and one scene was so dumb it took me out of the movie.Otherwise,the movie was fantastic.The action,it is exciting and well done.The references to the previous movies were nice,and not too cheesy.I like how M is involved in the story,as that brings a new element to this franchise.The pre title sequence is perfect,it was fast paced and felt like the Connery era films.The story,it is well written and compelling.The villain,he was intimidating and had an interesting backstory.Bond himself,he is charming this time,unlike Quantum,and is still brutal.I like how Bond's backstory is explained,and the cinematography and score are as great as usual.Skyfall is a well written and fun entry in the franchise.

Quantum of Solace (2008)

Mediocre "Bourne" Wannabe

[5/10 · 12 November 2016]

This movie is,well disappointing compared to Casino Royale,not as bad as many people say.First,the good,the score and cinematography are still great.The locations are good,and look beautiful.The Bond girl is awesome,it is cool that she doesn't actually fall in love with Bond(given the events of the last film)and her backstory was interesting,I liked how it connected her to the villain.The pacing was decent as well.The biggest pro,the action,while the editing does get bad at times,I personally think that the fast paced editing makes the action more exciting.Now,the cons,while I did like the action in the film,the CGI for the film was awful.The fact that this is a direct sequel,I liked in other films(such as the original Halloween II),here it seems pointless,as no characters have changed since the last movie.Sadly,James Bond himself is one of the problems,he just feels emotionless,all of his charm is lost,he just stands there and kills everyone in his way.The villain,he is barely in it,and while his plan is unique,he is in no way memorable or intimidating.The biggest con,the tone,it feels like a generic action movie,and a Bourne ripoff,so every time humor is attempted,it feels forced,and the movie just seems emotionless.Quantum of Solace is not as bad as you would think based on the reviews as it has a great Bond girl and action scenes,but it has a bad villain,soulless feel,and a bad portrayal of the James Bond character.

Casino Royale (2006)

The "Batman Begins" Of The Bond Franchise

[10/10 · 11 November 2016]

This movie and Batman Begins are very similar for their franchises,after a more cartoony film(Batman and Robin and Die Another Day),the producers decided the way to fix the franchise was to start from scratch all over again and take a darker,grittier approach.That was a great idea for this franchise,as we got one of the best entries with this movie.I don't have any major issues,but I guess the villain could've been in it a bit longer.Now,the good,Daniel Craig,he is charming and intimidating at the same time,like a more cold hearted Sean Connery.The story,it is interesting,great,and compelling.The action,it is fantastic and when people get hurt,you feel it.I loved the suspense in some scenes.The cinematography is gorgeous,and the score is great.I really like the fact that Bond isn't truly the typical "Bond" we've come to know,you get to see him evolve throughout the film.The villain and Bond girl are also awesome,they feel real and their actions seem very human.The best part of this movie though,the realism,it makes everything more interesting and makes you care more about the characters.Casino Royale is an amazing entry in the James Bond franchise,and the perfect way to modernize the iconic character.

Doctor Strange (2016)

Steve Ditko Would Be Proud

[9/10 · 6 November 2016]

His comics were lifted straight from the page and onto the screen.Will Marvel ever fail?After pulling such weird concepts like this movie,Ant-Man,and Guardians of the Galaxy,I'm not sure.First,the good,the characters,they are entertaining,and well acted.The score is great and the cinematography is fantastic.The humor,while it may be a little cheesy,it works,the characters know that the world they're in is slightly stupid,and they except that.The villain,I've heard people say he was generic,but he is better than most villains in the Marvel Cinematic Universe.I like the fact that it is more violent than the previous films,after all they have to try new things.The best part though,the action,it is very creative,and visually stunning,my jaw dropped at least once in the theater.Even if most are just simple fist fights with magic,they are expertly choreographed.But the movie isn't perfect,now,the cons.I thought that their should've been a little bit less exposition,and the villain could've been fleshed out a bit more.And although it didn't ruin my enjoyment of the movie,the tonal shifts were pretty noticeable,just when their's a dark scene,the next one is lighthearted.Doctor Strange is another home run for Marvel,though it has a few flaws.

Halloween (2007)

Half Physcolgical Thriller,Half Generic Slasher Film

[5/10 · 31 October 2016]

Rob Zombie tried,he tried to make a decent movie,he knew he couldn't do what the original did,so instead he reimagined it in his own vision.Did he succeed?Kind of.First the good,the score,it is a perfect modernization of the original's.Some kills were decent,and I like a few characters,like this film's Dr.Loomis,and a redneck trucker named Joe Grizzely.Michael himself was really good,and intimidating.But the best part of this movie,the first 30 minutes,they delve into Michael's psyche and it is a fascinating look into his mind.Now the cons the second half,it is very generic and uninteresting.The kills,they were all the same.The characters,they are all very annoying and stupid,the whole "redneck" feel of the movie nearly kills it for me(pun not intended).Rob Zombie's Halloween is a decent reimagining with a strong act,but an unmemorable everything else.

New Nightmare (1994)

Amazing Breath Of Fresh Air,Freddy Is Finally Scary Again

[10/10 · 29 October 2016]

This movie is nearly perfect,I'll talk about the cons first,there isn't enough Freddy,and the cinematography makes it feel like a Lifetime movie.The good,the tone,it is dark and sinister and Freddy is actually scary.The characters,I cared about them,and the acting was great,the child actor did pretty good.The messages about children and horror movies were cool.The homages to the original were great.I loved the meta parts of the movie,they did a great job commenting on horror movie franchise,everything that was said was true.The kills were awesome,even though there was less than 5.The best part though,the concept,it is brilliant and terrifically executed.New Nightmare is the best sequel in the franchise.

A Nightmare on Elm Street: The Dream Child (1989)

Mediocre Boring Movie

[5/10 · 29 October 2016]

First,the pros,the Gothic tone,it really helps the movie feel different than the others.Freddy,he is very sadistic and evil in this one.The acting was good,and I like how the movie deals with mature themes like teen pregnancy.I liked some of the dream sequences,the cinematography was very eerie.The kills were decent,not many this time but they were creative,and the effects were great.Now,the cons,the pacing,the movie is fast,but it's so boring,nothing even happens.The characters,I didn't care about any of them.The humor,all of Freddy's lines were stupid,I didn't laugh once.The plot,while interesting,is very stupid and poorly executed.The Dream Child has a great tone and deaths,but the rest of the movie is too boring and lazy to be interesting.

A Nightmare on Elm Street 4: The Dream Master (1988)

Cheesy 80s Fun

[8/10 · 29 October 2016]

First,the good,I like the fact that it picks up right from the last one.The characters are likable and decently acted.I like the concepts for the dream world.The score was great,just like in the other movies.Freddy,although he's more of a comedian now,is still great.I liked the ending,it was very poetic.I also liked the fun 80s feel of it.The best part though,is the kills,they are creative and have amazing effects.The cons though,it is a bit too outdated,the dialogue is really bad,it gets too dumb in the end,and there is some noticeable tonal problems,it doesn't if it wants to be funny or scary.All in all,Dream Master is a fun above average sequel with some problems.

A Nightmare on Elm Street 3: Dream Warriors (1987)

Fantastic Creative Sequel

[10/10 · 29 October 2016]

This movie is awesome,I honestly didn't see any flaws with it,but Heather Langenkamp did seem a bit monotone.So,I'll talk about the good,the tone,it keeps the seriousness from the original and actually deals with real issues,like drug addiction.The characters,they feel realistic and are well acted.The film is very creative,the dream sequences are fantastic.I love the kills,and the effects are great.Bringing Nancy back was awesome.Freddy was great,even though this is the beginning of the jokey version of him,and i like how we get to know a bit of his backstory involving his mother.Dream Warriors is great and the perfect sequel