S-t-a-t-i-x Reviews

The Last of Us (2023– )

A rare faithful game adaption appeared

[16 January 2023]

Game adaptions rarely, if ever, live up to their source material. The Last of Us, at least based on its pilot episode, is the exception.

For anyone that has played the game, the intro will be a very welcome trip down memory lane. And from there, you'll recognize so much from the game. And that's rather unique when it comes to game adaptions.

Usually, whenever adaptions happen, such as Halo or The Witcher, the creators have to put their own twist to the story, which generally ends up ruining it. That doesn't happen in The Last of Us. It's a breath of fresh air, honestly. Who would've thought it's possible to make a game adaption and actually be faithful to the source material for once?

While it's wonderful to watch this tv show after playing the game, it's not a requirement. It's just as enjoyable if not more, because you get to experience the story for the first time. And, based on the pilot, it'll follow the game's story pretty much to the letter, which means you're in for a treat.

If it keeps this up, it'll surely become a 10, but for now, since it's only just the pilot episode, I'll give it a 9.

Troll (2022)

This movie is its title

[2 December 2022]

I'll start off by saying it's rather mind boggling that in a movie such as this the CGI can be so suprisingly good when it comes to the troll but fail so miserably in the first few minutes when the father and daughter are sitting on top of that mountain.

After the incident, main character (the daughter), is called to a meeting with a high ranking general and the Prime Minister. The daughter, while a civilian with no authority, takes charge of the meeting as if she's the Prime Minister. She's the only one to make out a human-like figure in the footage, and she's the only one to say they're footprints, she's the one telling everyone they gotta do something. The other characters in that meeting were idiots, forcibly dumbed down to let the main character shine. But, as you do, when you see a huge monster in some footage... you send a dinosaur-expert (the main character) and a member of the staff of the Prime Minister to investigate! This should be all hands on deck...

While flying in the helicopter, any watchful viewer could spot the troll already, but the characters are just blind. While the main character sees every other sign, she missed this of course. Despite all of these signs indicating it's actually a troll that her dad used to tell her about when she was young, she can't accept it so she goes to the one person who knows everything about trolls and has been saying they're real for decades, her dad. Once there, she explains, he says it's a troll and she proceeds to say it's not. Why go there then? The father joins them. They find the troll. The have clear footage. Still nobody believes it's a troll. Come on, people. What is it then? It looks like one, it acts like one. Insert Joey Tribbiani meme: it's a rock monster!

At this point, the troll hasn't done anything hostile, so they decide to attack it. It proceeds to defend itself, but doesn't go on a rampage. After seeing the troll is basically harmless unless provoked, they provoke it again. This time with bells attached to helicopters and the bright idea is to fly really close to the troll, because who wouldn't fly within reach of a giant monster. The troll defends itself once more and proceeds to leave the area, even saves two people from certain death by capturing a falling helicopter. This could've been the start of something, but this is never mentioned again. Yes, he killed military personell, but only after being provoked. At this point, the troll has only destroyed stuff in its path or in self defense. He even saved innocent humans. So, as any sane human would do, they decide to use an experimental missile on it because it's such a threat. Meantime main character goes to Royal Palace where Troll King used to live. A meaningless character knew all of this and says her dad was right all along. Member of staff of Prime Minister character gets phone call from blonde hacker girl character who tells them they are going to launch a missile. Missile no good, so they ask blonde hacker girl character to hack the targeting system of the military jet sent to deploy the missile. How hard can it be? Yes, that's the line they used to explain how hard it is. She succeeds of course, no missile.

The troll is on its way to the Royal Palace, in Oslo. So, they evacuate the entire city and the surrounding area in what seems like barely a day, no worries. Main character has another bright idea: use UV lights to kill the troll, because sun is bad for trolls. She calls her new military buddy that she met earlier. Military buddy asks other buddy and that buddy brings dozens of soldiers and military equipment. Mind you, this is all unsanctioned, because the government still wants to kill it with the missile. So, of course you have access to giant UV lights mounted on military vehicles worth quite possibly hundreds of millions of euros. Military buddy gives cringy speech at ambush point. Trap is set.

They lure the troll with a skull of a baby troll and drive from the Royal Palace to ambush point. The government doesn't play a role here, because they'd question why the troll would leave the Royal Palace alone and chase some random civilians. Skull falls, troll upset and sad. Heartbreaking moment, to be honest, but squandered by the following plot device. Becomes angry at car with main character in it, the plot just needed it I think, because really it didn't make sense. Why would it chase them? They're supposedly smart. It let the skull fall because it was startled by the breaking window. What should've happened, it should've kneeled down and cradled the broken skull, but no, it angry. TROLL SMASH! They lure it to the ambush.

WE HAVE TO JUMP, because that's what you do when a giant troll is following you. There, the UV lights are activated. The troll just stands there, in agony. Anything in agony would stand still, right, especially if it knew what was hurting it and it could destroy that or moved away from it. Yet it did not move or destroy the vehicles, once more defending itself. Not this time, because the plot demanded it. At this point, the goverment is important again, because a new jet is incoming with a missile. Oh no, there's civilians. Abort. But wait, random lunatic politician or whatever he was, wants them to deploy the missile anyway, goes ballistic (no pun intended). Nobody steps in, not the high ranking general or any of the military personell. Proceeds to get punched by blonde hacker girl character, who was being guarded by two people because they found out she hacked the jet. They just let her do that, and even after nobody does anything? Cringe moment. Main character only now realizes what they're doing is wrong. Mind you, the troll, at this point, has still only destroyed stuff in it's path or after being provoked. She turns off the UV lights and tells the troll to go away. And then, BWAAAAHH the sun rises in 3 seconds and kills the troll.

The end.

The acting isn't bad at all. The CGI is rather spectacular, especially the scene with the reflection in the building. The plot was intriging, but the story was poorly executed. I'm sure the writing team was inspired by The Lost World: Jurassic Park while writing the skull chase scene. There was potential there, but they didn't capitalize on it. Decent flick if you want to turn off your brain. If some of your brain cells are still active, you'll find yourself yelling at the screen.

Noticed I use both it and he. Funny how that works.

The Orville (2017–2022)

New Horizons is different but not worse

[4 July 2022]

New Horizons can be a new and improved version of The Orville if you are looking for a more serious version of The Orville. Seasons one and two had an emphasis on humor, but more often than not it wasn't my kind of humor. Many jokes fell flat and there were too many, and I think The Orville was being held back because of it.

If you liked The Orville because of its humor, New Horizons will be a disappointment, but if you watched The Orville because of its resemblance to Star Trek, New Horizons will be even more satisfying.

Many reviews refer to the political and woke elements that were introduced in season 3 and how it has such a serious undertone, but let's not forget, the original Star Trek tv shows have always been more serious and about moral and political dilemma's.

I'm generally put off by politically correct and woke elements in movies and tv shows, which the new Star Trek tv shows have an overabundance of. Even Strange New Worlds can't mimic what made TNG and Voyager great. There's too much sarcasm and snarky remarks, too many one liners, everything is processed with a nonchalant attitude.

New Horizons doesn't have that, New Horizons is as close to Star Trek The Orville has ever been. Do I notice the politically correct and woke elements introduced in New Horizons? Yes. Do they bother me? No, because I'm enjoying all the other aspects of it so much more. And I, for one, am happy they dumped the humor.

Ms. Marvel (2022)

How much color do you want? Yes.

[10 June 2022]

At the time of writing, over 65% of the ratings are either 1 or 10. The majority of both those ratings are disingenuous. Review bombing works both ways. Sadly, articles on the internet only condemn the 1 star ratings, while over 41% thinks this tv show is worth a 10. It's not. Not even close.

This is a show for kids. If you're an adult and you like it, good for you, but this isn't for me. Not every MCU production is of the same quality, but they at least generally fit within the narrative and atmosphere of the MCU. This does not. If feels like a cheap knockoff you'd find in Bollywood or on the Disney Channel. Something like The Suite Life of Zack and Cody.

The characters are stereotypes, superficial and generic. None of them, not even the main character, have anything memorable about them. The CGI is poor. The jokes are cringy. The plot is uninspiring and shallow. The doodles are a distraction and there's an overabundance of color.

I was introduced to Ms Marvel before in the game MARVEL'S AVENGERS. That I liked. Her I liked. That Avenger Con, or whatever it's called, I liked.

Halo (2022– )

Decent but overall flawed

[24 March 2022]

The wait was long and it wasn't worth it. This isn't Halo. This is nothing more than a cheap scifi show that tries to ride the Halo hype. It wouldn't have all been difficult to make a tv show that's true to the games, but instead we get this. The creators themselves have said they didn't even look at or talk about the games.

It's not as bad as I feared it was going to be, but it's certainly nothing special. The CGI at times can be good but is generally worse than a tv show that's two decades old. The cast has a lot of forced diversity, just like other Paramount+ tv shows.

Still, all of this can be overlooked, but what can't be overlooked is Master Chief taking of his helmet for the reason he did. Nothing against Pablo Schreiber, he does a good job. But Master Chief removing his helmet is an insult to Halo, especially considering the reason he did it. If anything, it should've happened at the end of the first season (like the first game, when the fighting is done). Or how The Mandalorian did it. The way this tv show does it however, is an insult to Halo.

Clean (IV) (2021)

Expected more based on the trailer

[6 February 2022]

I was rather excited to watch this movie after I saw the trailer. I do enjoy movies where the main character has a past he's trying to hide. Unlike John Wick and Nobody, however, and despite a similar runtime, Clean doesn't manage to grab me.

Although the cinematography is good and sets the atmosphere nicely, it fails whenever we see the flashbacks. This style of slowly revealing the past of the main character borders on annoying and breaks immersion.

The story had potential, but during the third act it speeds up immensely and falls apart. The build up was better than the climax, therefore I enjoyed the first half of the movie more than the second half.

Dexter: New Blood (2021–2022)

Ending ruined it

[12 January 2022]

Dexter: New Blood quickly felt like Dexter again. I was enjoying it more and more until the last 10-15 minutes of the final episode. I can't believe they did it again. They freaking did it again... Once more they ruined it with the ending.

It's a damn shame, because this had so much potential.

Shang-Chi and the Legend of the Ten Rings (2021)

Filler movie with bland characters that tries to be funny but isn't

[10 November 2021]

The start of the movie didn't feel like a Marvel movie. Even Black Widow felt more connected. Maybe it's because it was so clearly a tribute to Chinese martial arts movies. It just felt out of place.

Despite it's runtime, the movie's rather rushed. Still, until the dragon statue receives its eyes (you'll know what that means if you've watched the movie, it's just another generic action movie with average CGI, too much forced humor and unintesting characters that were pretty dislikable, especially Katy. The only purpose she serves is comedic relief, but all she succeeds at is grief.

The battle was so and so. No guns, although it's the 21st century. Despite his father using the Rings for a thousand years, Shang-Chi quickly masters wielding the Ten Rings because his mother has apparently trained him when he was young. I mean, if my parents taught me how to drive when I was five, no doubt I would've been able to drive any car to perfection two decades later. Right? Right. And then he proceeds to defeat the very big evil bad monster with little to no effort.

The movie had potential, but it tries too hard to be funny and ends up spending too little time developing its characters. As a result, the only character with some depth was the bad guy... Later in the movie, this changes, and you think wasn't that bad afte-- SHABAAAMM, we're back in San Francisco with the forced humor bits and that just ruined the somewhat satisfying ending in the other world.

Entertaining, but mildly frustrating. One of the lesser movies in the MCU.

F9: The Fast Saga (2021)

Collection of unsorted garbage

[31 July 2021]

If you ever wondered what would happen if people were tasked with creating something from stuff found on a garbage disposal site; look no further, you've found it.

Game of Thrones (2011–2019)

Arguably the best tv show ever until it wasn't

[16 May 2021]

The first four seasons of Game of Thrones are probably the best tv I have ever seen. Everything just felt right. The plot, the storylines, the characters, the unpredictable plot twists, the tension, the excitement, the genuine emotion you felt during some of the worst fates for characters or finally seeing something happen you've been dying to see.

During seasons five and especially six it became quite clear that the creators were struggling with the lack of source material as the book series wasn't finished yet. I think episode 10 of season 6 is the best episode this tv show has to offer. It's also the last episode Game of Thrones was Game of Thrones. It's quality had already started to decline, but nothing could've prepared us for what came next.

Seasons 7 and more so season 8 were atrocious. Due to the absence of source material and the inability of the creators to craft their own story, they reduced the episode orders for each season to 7 and 6 episodes respectively. Seasons 7 and 8 spat on everything that came before it. Instead of intelligent characters and clever storytelling, we got two seasons filled with characters doing a 180 on their development and an overabundance of clichés. Nothing made sense anymore. It was as if the tv show was handed over two people that didn't understand anything about what they'd created.

And that's the revelation. David Beniof and D. B. Weiss never knew what the hell they were doing. They didn't create Game of Thrones, George RR Martin did. Sure, they excelled at adapting source material, but without it, they're some of the worst storytellers out there. HBO wanted more seasons, HBO wanted to give them more money, but they were looking at their next big payday. They betrayed all fans of Game of Thrones. What could've gone down in history as of the greatest tv shows of all time, was no more. Nowadays, nobody wants to talk about Game of Thrones anymore.

Do yourself a favor: watch the first six seasons and then tell yourself that's it.

Gave it a 9 because of what it once was.

Coming 2 America (2021)

Empty husk

[16 May 2021]

The movie is uncharismatic, loud, unfunny, forced and has an utterly ridiculous plot that undermines the premise of the original. The new characters are bland and miserably fail at being even remotely funny.

It's a shameless, woke, empty husk of a sequel purely made for the money. There's no soul in it, no body, no passion. I was overwhelmed with a feeling of homesickness, as strange as it may sound. I longed for the original. I did not deny myself the pleasure of watching Coming to America again for too long.

What does it say about a sequel when all it does is make you want to watch the original again and forget a sequel was ever made? If you loved the original and are thinking about watching this, don't. Just forget this exists and watch the original again.

24: Legacy (2016–2017)

Hoped it'd be great, but it's actually pretty generic

[14 February 2017]

24 is one of my favorite TV shows of all time. Towards the end, however, 24 started to become predictable and kept using the same subplots time and time again.

I wanted 24: Legacy to be great, but sadly, it isn't. Aside from the clock (I do love that clock) and it having the 24 feel, it primarily inherited the flaws of 24.

The new character is fine. Replacing Jack is impossible, and I'm actually interested in this character. Again, not as much as Jack, but the new main character isn't the problem. The same can't be said for his girlfriend, the brother and the brother's girlfriend. I have to admit that I rather liked the drama with the brother. Carter going there illustrates how desperate he is and, despite not being on the best of terms with his brother, still trusts him to protect his girlfriend.

What I don't like is the brother's girlfriend and her jealousy. The moment I saw her, I knew she was going to be trouble. The woman just has a face that screams 'I get jealous real quick.' Who gives a crap about this uninteresting subplot?

Another problem is the mole subplot. Thus far, there has been only one season of 24 where there wasn't a mole of some kind. I mean, come on people, this is just lazy writing. It's so unimaginative.

I want to love this, but I caught myself yelling at my monitor several times asking who the hell comes up with some of the crap that I was seeing in episode 3. What's worse is that people are getting paid to write these garbage subplots.

The main plot is good. That's where 24's legacy can be found. Take away all the unnecessary subplots and this show is actually pretty decent. With those subplots, it's a cringe fest.

Bridge to Terabithia (2007)

Impact

[12 December 2007]

I saw the trailer of this movie once and didn't think much of it. Therefor, I didn't watch it. However, recently I did and I couldn't be more surprised by the ending of the movie. After watching the movie I felt compelled to write a comment.

I started watching, thinking two kids would cross into a different world. After seeing Jesse and Leslie struggle with issues at home and at school, the idea of a place that's only yours, sounded familiar. Although, I didn't have any problems at home or at school, I did have a girlfriend with whom I pretended to be in another world with. So I could really sympathize with Jesse and Leslie.

During the film I really started to enjoy the joy the characters had and I started to feel rather happy myself. I thought this was gonna be one of those movies of total joy where nothing bad happens.

But then the tragedy occurred. I've never been more surprised about the ending of a movie. My mouth fell open and I felt miserable. It felt like I'd known Leslie for years, so the thought of her being dead actually made me cry. And even know, thinking of it, makes my throat hurt. Because English isn't my native language, I can't really put my feelings to words. And that pains me, because I want people to know how good this movie is.

There has never been any movie that made a bigger impact than this one. A 10 for sure! This movie deserves to be nominated for several Oscars, most importantly Best Movie of the Year.

Stargate: Atlantis (2004–2009)

One of the best Sci-Fi series

[17 December 2006]

I've watched Stargate SG1 when I was little. First 2 season or so. After about 6 years I saw a trailer of Stargate Atlantis. I really couldn't be more excited. I was really looking forward in seeing the pilot After seeing the pilot I was amazed, surprised and thrilled. The pilot was excellent. After seeing a couple of episodes I could see the show getting better.

The Siege episodes are by far the best I've seen so far (Untill S02E05). When the Wraith Darts attacked for the first time, my mouth fell open. The special-effects were astonishing. Every time when I watch a Sci-Fi series, I hoped there was gonna be a big battle with ships and big guns etc. And than finally SGA has such a great battle.

This show made me start watching Stargate SG1 again (currently season 8 in the Netherlands) after six years.

The show has a great storyline, currently better than that of SG1 (season 8), because like previous reporters said: They're running out of ideas for new episodes for SG1. The actors are great and on top of that, the show is funny. Especcialy McKay makes the show very funny. There was an episode where McKay and a woman shared McKay's body. Amazingly funny episode and superb acting of David Hewlett.

Because I'm Dutch I can't really explain my opinion about this show, but I think this is one of the best Sci-Fi series ever. Hopefully they will make many more seasons, just like SG1. A must see for every Sci-Fi fan, everyone should watch it to be honest. Not many shows like this one.

The Matrix (1999)

What is The Matrix?

[4 December 2006]

I'll tell you what The Matrix is. The Matrix is the best Sci-Fi movie ever. The camera-work is brilliant. The way they used camera's to capture Trinity in the air was magnificent. The visuals are stunning. the martial arts are superb. In only two months they pretty much mastered a couple of martial arts.And last but not least: The plot. A shot summary of the movie: Neo, a computer-hacker, is confronted by Morpheus, who believes Neo is The One that can save humanity. Morpheus tells him that the world as Neo knows it, is a virtual, non existing world called 'The Matrix'. The real world has been taken over by Machines. The last human city, Zion, is deep underground where the Earth is still warm. The movie slowly build up to the action. First Neo struggles with his 'new' life, then he starts accepting and training for his destiny.

Perhaps the most impressive accomplishment is that the movie tells the story on different levels. Every time you watch it, you notice new things and you understand more. This is what makes the movie a delight to see. It's like you're watching a better version every time you watch it.

This movie is #2 on my list of best movies of all-time and #1 on the list of best Sci-Fi movie of all-time.

The Shawshank Redemption (1994)

One of the best movies ever!

[4 December 2006]

All the things that could have been said about this movie, have been said. I honestly can't understand why this movie didn't won the Best Picture of '94. Knowing that Forrest Gump is a good movie and Pulp Fiction a great movie. But both can't match the story told in The Shawshank Redemption.

Showing similarities to The Green Mile with Tom Hanks, this movie tells a story about hope, dreams and friendships. Furthermore it shows how ex-cons struggle with the new world, once they get out of prison. I'm grateful that Tom Hanks didn't take the role of Andy Dufrense, as he was the first choice for the role. Not that he wouldn't have done a good job, but Tim Robbins belongs to this role. Just as Tom Hanks belongs to the role of Paul Edgecomb in The Green Mile.

Every single plot in the movie gets equal attention and could be a movie on its own. Tim Robbins and Morgan Freeman never played better in any of their movies. The rest of the actors are also very good. The story in this film is simple, but the way it's told makes it perfect. Not many movies can tell such a simple story with such class. Therefore this is one of the best films, but also one of the best stories ever told on film.

Casino Royale (2006)

Great, but not a true Bond movie.

[3 December 2006]

This James Bond is without a doubt one of the best. The action scenes spectacular and Daniel Craig is an excellent Bond. But the traditional James Bond things, like the "Bond, James Bond", the one liners and perhaps the most important ones: the gadgets and Q, are gone. I think these things make the Bond movies the way they are.

Bond shows more emotions and gets hurt pretty bad an awful lot of times. Which is a good thing. He seems more human and you're able understand what he's going through.

The makers of the film said that the traditional James Bond stuff is not something that belongs to the present. It may or may not belong to the present, it is still an important part of every James Bond movie, which makes the movies what they are.

If I look at everything besides the traditional Bond things, this is without a doubt the best Bond movie; but if I include the traditional Bond things, than i have to say, with some regret, that this isn't a true James Bond.