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Reviews
Cinderella Man (2005)
Boring
Okay. Here's my complaint. Ron Howard hits us over the head with everything 100 times too often. The fight announcers keep saying what they want us to feel, flashbacks show us what we already know, etc. I know what Renee Z is thinking when she's washing the dishes, quite showing me it. Jim's an honest man. He gives back what his kid stole. Gimme a break. If my family's starving and my kid steals some food from the butcher there's no way in hell we're giving it back. The butcher's lucky he has a store when we're done. And who the hell is the guy playing the other fighter? He looks like a porn star. Yeah, and we get it, he's a bad guy. Maybe he should tie Renee to the railroad tracks before the fight. My final comment. The little thing they wrote at the end depressed the hell out of me. Jim lost to Joe luis five minutes after this fight and spent the rest of his life in rotten construction jobs with jackasses like my dad. What does my dad have to do with this? Nothing. Exactly. That's why we wear the things on our noses.
Lost in Translation (2003)
Awful
When will society accept the fact that Sofia Coppola's movies stink? Somebody dragged me to see this on DVD a few months ago and I can't get the stench out of my head. Nothing happens, no one does anything and I don't care. It's worse than her other thing, the virgin suicides where the girls all kill themselves for some stupid reason I can't remember. (There's a quote I read somewhere or heard where somebody says how they hated Dead Poet's society because that kid kills himself instead of waiting 6 months until his father can't control him anymore. Well the quote works for Virgin suicides too. Just get out of your house chicks and stop bitching. If no one's throwing boiling water at you, you have it better than I did) Back to Lost in translation. Bill Murray annoyed the hell out of me with his do nothingness. I also saw an interview with him on the Stripes anniversary DVD. I loved Stripes, but he seems like a total jackass on the interview.
I don't mind Scarlett Johanssen, however. We used to date.
Dorm Daze 2 (2006)
Went to a screening
I went to a screening of Dorm Daze 2 last night. My cousin worked on it so that might make me a little biased, but anyway, I laughed my ass off. The crowd was mostly people from the film who automatically are going to like it, but it was still one of the funniest movies I've seen this year. The plot doesn't die halfway through and then you get stuck with the same lame joke over and over like it does in half the movies around. There's a lot of female nudity which I think offended the old lady behind me and unfortunately there's also a lot of naked man ass which made me want to gouge my eyes out. Note to all producers. No man should ever be naked on film. The male body is meant to be covered in a burka at all times. However, thank you for all the naked females. There can never be too much naked female. Yours truly. Gandhi.