jazzamind Reviews

The Walking Dead (2010–2022)

BORING....not scary...lousy effects....

[3/10 · 28 October 2010]

Well I feel like I am the only one who does not think this is any good? I thought the effects, especially the make up on the zombies , was bad, and not scary at all.

The pace of the show is way too slow for my taste .

I consider myself a horror movie and I really wanted to like this but to me is just felt they put zombies in the show; 'LOST",which I also think is boring and lame...

I was really looking forward to this...

I am very disappointed ....

Not scary at all....

Wereld van stilstand (2005)

Genius...

[10/10 · 31 December 2006]

This man is a GENIUS...

Very paranoid atmosphere and horrific storyline, with indeed a Kafka-ish feel.

Original and brilliant cinematography. The stills could have been a problem in delivering the feel of the film, but in this case actually added to the whole idea behind it.

Very brilliantly acted and a very effective Horror(Yes, with a capitol H!), with an incredible ending...

Give me more please!

I have said it before and will say it again, I am from now on officially a Fan!

Verboden ogen (2002)

Ecxellent, excellent, excellent!

[10/10 · 30 December 2006]

I have seen this one on a DVD I rented yesterday, containing three shorts by Elbert van Strien.

I rented it because it came highly recommended by "Schokkend Nieuws", which you could call the Dutch "Fangoria".

They were very very right.

This story is more of a sci-fi-story, and again, Elbert van Strien delivers Big Time.

Bizarre and different and extremely well-executed, great story and camera-work.

Everybody should watch this, and I am from now on a Elbert van Strien-fan. He is GOLD. This is one of tjhe best work I have ever seen, including the millions of feature-length things...

A 10 out of 10...

Het verborgen gezicht (2004)

Amazing!

[10/10 · 30 December 2006]

I have seen this short on a DVD containing three Elbert van Strien's shorts, and was incredibly impressed by them...

I wanted to see his films because they were came highly recommended in an article in "Schokkend Nieuws", which you can say is the Dutch "Fangoria".

And my-oh-my, were they right again this time.

I consider this to be horror, definitely, but of a very different style. Perfect camera-work and very well executed how the horror turns out when seen through the eyes of a child.

Strong en good and original story, and makes good use of the very short time it lasts(15 minutes), without having to rush through the story.

This guy is good! I am from now on a fan.

One of the best movies, including the many feature length ones, that I have ever seen...

A 10 out of 10!

Isolation (2005)

Effectively creepy

[10/10 · 26 December 2006]

For a change,high hopes I had for a movie, were fulfilled.

Ole critical horror(and other)-movie fan (ME!), was left feeling very satisfied by this one.

Found this to be an extremely unnerving tale of farm-gore.

It was delivered very well,end took the time to develop the tension and storyline.

The location was dark and depressing and gloomy, and the sense of isolation came across very effectively.

I was also impressed by the effects,that made me go 'yuck',from time to time, which is something I do not easily do.

Big hooray for the effects also, because they seemed to be created through old fashioned hand-labour, instead of the digital effects we see so much of these days, and often do not work.

Well these do! Please go and watch this....It is pretty darn good! Yay for Isolation....

Fragile (2005)

sigh....another awful one...

[1/10 · 25 December 2006]

There is so much wrong with this one,I almost have no idea where to start...First of all, nice to see Calsista put on some weight again, and made the incredible transformation from a 35 kg bag of bones to a 50 kg bag of bones... Her acting is as weak as her figure; In this movie she switches between severely underacted scenes, to a panicky sort of over-acting. Her screams and fear come across as totally unrealistic. I simply do not believe her when she does the panicky-thing... The story is weak, and takes enormous leaps and leaves gaps that gave me the feeling they were either in a hurry to write the script or just could n't care less. Well writing good horror is not easy, and believe me, this one defeinately fall into that category. The moments that were supposed to be scary, I could see them coming from miles away, and I think the major flaw was in the delivery. No tension was built up anywhere, and when they made kind of a half-baked attempt, they just couldn't deliver. What they did succeed in though, was in delivering a constant stream of cliché after cliché. Another waste of my time...

Scary? Hahahah don't make me laugh...

Brick (2005)

Disappointment with capital D

[1/10 · 7 December 2006]

Well this was one of the movies I was really looking forward to see this year, not only because the whole concept of the film sounded exciting(for instance, on the DVD-box it said that it was the smartest indie flick since Donnie Darko!), but also because it came highly recommended by my brother, whom I consider(AND STILL DO)someone who truly knows what he is talking about...

And I also consider myself one of the more experienced,open-minded movie-lovers...

But this film? Come on... I thought it was extremely boring, confusing, and full of really badly articulated and impossibly hard to understand(not only because of the language that was used, but mainly because they did not speak but mumble throughout),right from the start.

I wanted to give the film a chance though, convinced the genius aspect that I had missed so far, was still coming up, and that right then and there I would fully understand the greatness of the film.

Only that didn't happen...

I found myself not caring what happened to any of the characters in the movie, and it touched me in no way whatsoever...

Why?Why?Why? Why do people love this movie? What have I missed? You now I am typing these questions, but don't answer them,please. I really don't care...

Just a little advice...Don't waste your time on this piece of you know what...

Twentynine Palms (2003)

Empty pretentious vessel

[1/10 · 26 September 2006]

Since I really adore Micheal Haneke as a director, and his slow, atmospheric, horrifying style of movie-making, someone highly recommended I see one Bruno Dumont's films: Twentynine Palms...

Since the description on the DVD-sleeve literally said "DELIVERANCE meets PSYCHO", I was highly excited and looking forward to watching this film...

So I turned it on with high expectations and an open mind. After twenty minutes I was already bored out of my mind, and realized that the amazingly slow pace would probably last throughout the film.

This is when I turned up the speed to 2x. These people were still slow at double speed! And why would someone take a shot of a sunny sky that lasts for minutes? The characters (which I never cared for or start to care for),f u c k anywhere they get the chance,and even that was boring...

So I turned the speed up to 4x, which I stopped when something happened, which was when the movie was almost over: They fight! Fight? Yes in slow-motion they do! Credit to the actors. Even their fighting was slow, and boring for that matter.

The (supposedly)-shock ending came out of nowhere and seemed to me to have no point whatsoever,and since I still did not care for the characters, did not impress or shock me at all.

How dare they compare this film to Deliverance or Psycho?Both of which were intelligent, atmospheric, classic horror-movies that stand out in the genre.

This one does not compare at all.

This is an empty pretentious vessel.

Please do not waste your time watching this, and rent something like Psycho and/or Deliverance, and see what real horror is about.

Ju-on: The Grudge (2002)

Ow my freakin'god!

[10/10 · 23 September 2006]

I like to think of myself as a grrrl who is able to handle a lot, when it comes to horror, though I have developed a preference for the more psychological kind...The kind that takes you by the throat and does not let go...

I thought Ring (original) was indescribably scary, especially since I watched it alone, in the dark ,in a deserted house, AND ON VIDEO, these factors definitely added to my level of scariness...The end of that movie, was literally spinechilling and I found myself clutching the blankets and holding on for dear life when in THAT movie happened what happened when it did happen.

Thought that was the scariest movie ever! Nothing could top it, right? Well I could not have been more wrong...

How totally unprepared was I for what was about to come when I popped Ju-on(original version again), in the DVD-player...

Ow my freakin'god, I was so scared through the whole film by the terrifying atmosphere throughout...

And how about the sounds...

When the ending came i was so scared I could hardly breathe, I had the imprints of my nails in the palms of my hands, and could not speak or move...

The aftermath of the movie was me being SO scared I was too chicken to go to the loo...

I checked my closets, and my blanket numerous times,and this went on for months... had nightmares too...and was totally afraid of the dark allover again...like when I was a kid or maybe even moreso...

I have seen a lot, but this one is definitely the most scary,and I do not think I ever wanna see it again...

Soft for Digging (2001)

Highly recommended spine-chiller...

[10/10 · 23 September 2006]

I really think I should make my case and have every(horror and or cult)movie-buff go and see this movie...

I did!

It-is-excellent: Very atmospheric and unsettling and scary...

Incridible how they could make such a gem of a film with the very low(read-"no"!)-budget they had....

Synopsis taken from website: "One morning, an old man wanders out into the woods in search of his runaway cat. He finds instead a child without parents and a murder with no corpse..."

On this website(IMDb) there is no trailer, but I will leave a link here to the site of the movie itself where there IS a trailer which is quite unsettling so please go and check it out...

www.softfordigging.com

Mirrormask (2005)

major disappointment!

[1/10 · 18 September 2006]

Soon as I had heard about this movie being made, I put it on the top of my wish-list...Was looking forward to its release BIGTIME! So there it was,finally.Rented it, went home, all happy,ready to enjoy what was about to come.

The first thing in the movie that totally irritated me was the music: Sounded like Kenny G(you remember"songbird" argh),and in my opinion, seemed totally misplaced. Still, I would give the rest a chance...

Atmospherically seemed very gloomy to me,the whole thing, lighting and sets and the rest, which could have been good, if the Kenny-g on acid would not have been constantly nagging through the whole thing...

The story was way way too thin to carry the interest throughout, and not only was it thin,it was very very predictably unoriginal also...

I am sure people are gonna hate me for this, but I wasn't that impressed by the graphics either: very cold and dark feel they gave me...

I kinda fell into the trap of it being a Henson-production, but the coldness of the graphics makes me think back of the time when actual puppetry with actual puppets made brilliant movies, like all the muppet-movies, and of course the masterpiece The Dark Crystal...

So veryvery disappointed here...

4 (2004)

I thought I could handle a lot...but my stomach thought otherwise!

[1/10 · 18 September 2006]

Let me start by saying that I consider myself to be one of the more (most!)open-minded movie-viewers...Movies are my passion, and I am a big regular at my local cult-movie-rental-place...I also feel the need to add that they often ask ME for advice about movies whenever I get there, and i never seem to be able to leave the place without having had an elaborate discussion or exchange of ideas about what is going on in the cult-movie-area...I love to rent strange stuff, and that is exactly why this movie was recommended by one of the guys at the cult-movie-video-place.He told me he thought I had to see this, and since the cover said something about it being a movie with a Jodorowsky(one of my favorites!)atmosphere, I rented it.

The vote I gave here is not really fair, because I did not think it was awful, I just did not know how to rate it otherwise. A question mark would have been more appropriate...

This is the first and only film that literally made me sick to my stomach: I actually felt physically ill! Am I the only one whose stomach literally turned? Still I did not want to turn it off, or maybe I just couldn't because I was fascinated in a nasty way...

I do not ever wanna see this movie again.

Not awful,a 1 as I said.Just not my cup of tea(or wodka for that matter)...

Tears of Kali (2004)

not perfect, but very much worth watching!

[8/10 · 4 February 2006]

This movie has its ups and downs, but to me the good stuff in this movie very much outweighs the bads...

What's not so good about the movie are indeed sometimes the dialogue, the sounds, the lighting(am I the only one who noticed the way the sets were lighted was amateur, and the acting....

What is very good are the highly original storyline, the very intense atmosphere, the gore factor which is very high, and the effects which are done supremely.

So, definitely worth watching, or maybe even a must-see for all you horror and gore fans....

Saint Ange (2004)

...I loved every second of it...

[10/10 · 22 January 2006]

I just finished watching the movie and was so impressed with it I immediately felt compelled to find out more about it...

I am very very surprised by the very many bad reviews it got...

I think this movie deserves a much better rating too, so I felt compelled to leave one myself.

To me the movie carried an atmosphere that kept me on the edge of my seat at all times, and it was photographically near perfection...

Like some of the other comments here it also reminded me of "The devil's backbone", which I also consider brilliant.

I loved the final and very original twist to the story and have never ever seen remotely like it. It was surprising and incredibly weird but good! The epilogue to me was the icing on the cake...

Why do people not understand this movie? Highly recommended to those with an open mind...