This movie is such a huge insult to the live action movie and the book. This movie is better than the long haul, but come on, is that really the bar we want to be going for here? I liked that the length was longer, I thought the voice for Bill was good and how there were more stuff from the book than last time. That is everything good in the book. The relationship between Greg and Rodrick doesn't feel genuine and they don't feel like actual brothers and I don't feel sorry when Greg gets caught or when Rodrick gets sad about not performing, the animation is also bad and did not improve at all over the last movie. All the other characters are bland or annoying and don't have any real personality besides two personality traits. There's also scenes that don't add anything to the movie and just exist to pad out the runtime. I've heard some people calling this movie amazing and that the majority of people are being too harsh. No. I think we have every right to be upset with how much it fails compared to the live action movie and how poorly written it was here, Jeff Kinney is not a professional screenwriter and it shows. The live action movie is an infinitely better way to watch an adaptation of Rodrick Rules. Don't check this out, it's not good and doesn't have enough positives to outweigh the negatives.
Reviews
10 Reviews
Beauty and the Beast
(I) (2017)
Not the worst remake out there but still bad and I hated it.
11 February 2023
Warning: Spoilers
I remember seeing it in the cinema when I was 14 and thought this movie was good, I don't know if I developed better critique skills or if I was blinded by nostalgia but I just think BATB (live action) is such a bad movie that got a lot harder to sit through the second time. I liked the explanation for the town folk who forgot about the castle nearby, the broad story is still intact, the cinematography and set pieces were excellent, and Josh Gad and Luke Evans were good as LeFou and Gaston respectively. That is every positive thing I have to say about this movie. To start off, the movie feels way too slow paced and a lot of filler scenes that don't add anything to the story and just exist to pad out the run time, like Belle's and the Beast's backstories, dragging out songs that didn't need to be dragged out, filler like the castle staff who are objects becoming inanimate that is pointless and doesn't add anything to the story since they all turned back anyway since the ending is unchanged that just existed to pull at your heart strings. If that's what they were doing, they failed spectacularly, they just look so bad compared to their animated counterparts and give terrible performances compared to the original voice cast. Speaking of designs, I just think there is a reason that the castle staff wasn't made to look as realistic as possible in the original, like Lumiere and Cogsworth, seriously tone the detail down, I don't want to have everything look as realistic as possible. And Ewan McGregor did a terrible job as Lumiere, I like Ewan as an actor, but he just doesn't capture the same energy and charm as Lumiere as the animated version. He's like the perfect example of the castle staff in one: the same exact thing, but if you sucked all the charm and fun out them. And don't get me started on the beast, he looks terrible, he fails to capture the proper look the original beast had and just felt like his romance between Belle and him was badly developed. As for the cast, aside from Luke Evans and Josh Gad, everyone else feels entirely miscast as their roles or to pander to people's nostalgia from other works. Emma Watson is a good actor, but she is just not a good Belle, she just comes across as a bit of a jerk to people and fails to capture the charm Paige O Hara had as Belle, it felt more like Disney thought (not just with Belle but with the cast as a whole), "Hmm, okay we need to cast big celebrities to distract people from this soulless cashgrab, who can we get? Oh we can get Emma Watson as Belle, everyone knows her from Harry Potter, we've got Harry Potter Fans covered. Hmm, we should get some Star Wars fans, oh I know we should cast Ewan McGregor as Lumiere people loved him as Obi Wan and people will love him as Lumiere just as much. Hmmm, how about someone from Lord of the Rings and X-Men? I know, Ian McKellen, people loved him as Gandalf and Magneto, so they'll love him as Cogsworth. This is genius, we don't have to try!" Okay, I doubt that was the cast for every person who was casted, but my point is that Disney was more interested in casting big celebrities who didn't fit the roles as a means to get people to watch a movie that didn't warrant making 1.3 billion at the box office. The songs just are another example of being the same thing but made to be long and unappealing, Emma Watson couldn't sing in this movie and it shows, with the autotune. The only song I liked was Gaston's greatness song and even then it was inferior to the original despite Luke Evans and Josh Gad's good performances. I don't even know what else to say, it was a slog to get through and I think that it was such a bad movie, like who was this for aside from kids who watched the original? When I hear anyone talking positive about this movie they only talk about how much they loved the original and how cool the cast is. If you're really so nostalgic, just watch the original at home instead and skip this movie, especially if you have Disney Plus. It's not the worst movie in the world, and it has good elements but unfortunately it's not enough to save the movie. I will not be checking this out again anytime soon because it just felt like they played the original movie at half the speed. It's only two hours and it feels so much longer with the bad pacing. I guess you could check it out on Disney plus if you are curious, otherwise, I do not recommend watching it, just watch the original, I think you'll have a much better time than this sad Excuse of a movie. Disney, do better.
Disenchanted
(2022)
This is the sequel we get after fifteeen years?
11 December 2022
Warning: Spoilers
Here's everything good right here about the movie. The music was great, seeing the four main characters from the first movie was nice, the acting was good, I think the songs really did well, and the animation/cinematography was amazing. And I think that the idea of Giselle becoming bad was a pretty cool concept. And there were a few jokes I actually laughed at pretty hard at. Unfortunately, that's where the positives for this movie end. Now I'm going to talk about the problems of this movie. First of all, I thought Maya Rudolph's character was really dull and generic, I thought maybe we could have explored her character more and her motivation, but she doesn't get much depth and only exists as an obstacle for our heroes to meet. Secondly, there's this subplot about her two minions who are what you'd expect from a movie who don't add anything to the movie and just exist to pad out the run time, stealing the wand from Gisele so Maya Rudolph could use the wand, but then they have a fight with evil Gisele (more on that later) and she just uses magic, and makes the whole stealing the wand plot line completely pointless and just existed to pad out the run time. Morgan isn't bad of a character in this, but she just forgives Gisele at the end when she made everything bad, abused her, and caused her life turmoil having to move which makes the ending forced and unearned. Granted Gisele was under a spell, but Gisele didn't read what would happen in the scroll Nancy and Edward gave them, so it's her fault. Instead of taking the time to say sorry to Morgan and learning to understand her better and trying to be a better mother, she just decides to use a wand that results in the evil maya Rudolph into power, treats her family like garbage, and nobody cares about it at the end and she suffers zero consequences. My biggest issue with Gisele's character is how the film portrayed her as both the aggressor and the victim with out any strings attached. She's never called out at any point in the story, and the film is portraying her as not in the wrong. This just feels too much like Wandavision to me, which is not a compliment, but I guess to Disney it ain't plagiarism if they're stealing from themselves. Another thing that doesn't make sense is how Gisele still doesn't understand the real world much even though she's literally been there for TEN years. How does she not understand the real world, did she learn nothing from Robert or Morgan about the real world? She is literally responsible for all the problems that happen and she is never called out for it. When Morgan and Gisele fight, and Morgan is upset, I was actually satisfied because Morgan had every right to be upset at her step mom for thinking moving to the suburban town will fix everything. She just gets off Scot free and never suffers any consequences for her actions. It's a huge shame that the movie was this terrible because I really wanted to like this movie, but this just felt like a waste of time. It's two hours and the pacing makes it feel longer. It felt like Disney just wanted to pander to 2000s kids nostalgia and people who liked the first one and didn't give two craps about the story and said, Screw it. I only watched this movie because i was curious and had access to Disney plus, if I didn't have access to Disney plus and my only option was to watch in theatres, I wouldn't have paid any money to see it. If you're a fan of the first movie and have a Disney plus subscription and you're curious, I guess you could watch it out of curiosity, but if you don't, then it's not worth it. It feels like a professionally put together fan film, and the first movie didn't warrant this sequel. And even if you do have a Disney plus subscription, just watch the original enchanted, and skip this. This is an unworthy movie that Disney just spat out and will probably be forgotten about in a few months.
TL;DR the movie has a plot that doesn't make much sense along with filler that doesn't add anything and the character development makes no sense. You're better off just revisiting the original movie and skipping this garbage. There's some good stuff but it doesn't save it from how bad it is. It's not the worse movie ever but only watch it if you already have Disney plus subscription and are really curious on how the story continues. We had fifteen years, and this was the best you could come up with Disney.
TL;DR the movie has a plot that doesn't make much sense along with filler that doesn't add anything and the character development makes no sense. You're better off just revisiting the original movie and skipping this garbage. There's some good stuff but it doesn't save it from how bad it is. It's not the worse movie ever but only watch it if you already have Disney plus subscription and are really curious on how the story continues. We had fifteen years, and this was the best you could come up with Disney.
Cheaper by the Dozen
(2022)
Really Disney? I'm sick of you milking Fox like this, it's time to stop
18 March 2022
Hey Disney, did you even read the book it was based on and do your history? Because this is awful, you have proven you do not value Fox as a studio who makes a lot of creative works of art, only as a cash cow. The characters are unlikeable, the story has a lot of plot holes and half the time it feels. Don't watch this movie under any circumstances, even the 2002 and 2005 movies are better, because at least they can be kind of funny. Watch the original 1950 movie, but whatever you do, do not watch the 2002 movie and especially do not watch this. Disney, let 20th century Fox be an independent movie studio and let it be its own company, because you have proven these past few months you are not capable of running it.
Home Sweet Home Alone
(2021)
Not the worst Home Alone movie, but it is still a disgrace to a once great franchise
12 November 2021
Warning: Spoilers
I just saw Home Sweet Home Alone last night, and to put it bluntly, it is terrible, both as a standalone movie and especially as a sequel. I give it two stars, one for at least feeling more like a Home Alone movie (unlike Home Alone 4), and another for at least trying to shake up the status quo (granted they failed, but they at least made an attempt, so that counts for something). If you're looking at it as a stand alone movie, then it's basically a 90 minute snooze fest with uninteresting characters, and a nonsensical plot. If you are looking at it as a Home Alone movie, then it is far, far, worse. Strap yourselves in folks, as I will be going in to a lot of detail with this review.
So to start things off, I'll talk about all of the good things about it, don't worry it won't be too long. For starters, they actually got the premise of being truly alone for an extended period of time, something the 3-5 instalments failed to do. It also feels more like a Home alone movie than the other 3 movies, but that's like saying stubbing your toe is better than breaking your leg, it still hurts. The appearance of Buzz McCallister as a police officer is also a nice nod to the original Home Alone movies, and it has a better sense of feeling like a sequel unlike Home Alone 4, and especially 3 and 5 (3 and 5 are pretty much in name only sequels given that the only thing tying it to the franchise is the title, and the broad premise). The cinematography is also a huge step up, even if it is to be expected. The music is also more true to the original home alone, and the traps are a huge improvement over Home Alone 4, since he made them himself instead of them being built into the house. I also like how they didn't go with the bad guys go to jail cliche, which I liked the idea of, but its execution was problematic, but more on that later.
Unfortunately, that is where all the positives of this movie end. Now, let's start out with the comedy. Now while what you find funny is subjective, the way comedy works isn't, and the comedy does not work in this movie. It has a couple of good jokes, but often times, it tries too hard to be hip and cool with modern culture, and other unfunny moments, like Jeff farting on Pam's face, and a guy sleeping on Carol in a creepy way just to name a couple. And the comedy just won't stop, and it failed to entertain me for the most part.
The next problem is that the characters act in nonsensical ways. Like for instance, Jeff and Pam, have this dumb and completely unfounded accusation that Max "stole" a doll. Instead of reasonably talking to his parents by phone or email and explaining the situation to them, they break in to his house, which causes Max to get defensive over his life, causing the house to get trashed in the process. And again, instead of talking to Max and asking for it back, they try to pretend to be Santa. Even if he did steal, breaking into a house is not the right way to get something back. Also, after they find out all that was going on was Max took a soda can, nobody gets any consequences (at least on screen) for what happened after every part of Jeff's accusation was completely wrong, and they all just walk away Scott free. And remember how the not going to jail cliche? Well, I like the idea of it, but the problem comes from how they don't reasonably ask for their property back by contacting his parents or knocking on the house, and then Max gets no consequences for trashing the house. Even for home alone, the violence is really The ending is not awful, it's good they find friends in each other, but it definitely falls short of the first two endings, and it doesn't have the same magic.
The third problem comes from how technology is portrayed. For example, Carol says they don't have a land line, but surely they have a computer he could use to stay in contact with his mother, because they have a gaming console, a vr, and a virtual assistant. Are you seriously telling me, that they have smart phones and all of this other unnecessary technology, but they don't have a computer????!!!! I know it is fiction, but this is ridiculous, what situation is it where you have a vr headset and gaming consoles, but you don't have a computer for office related stuff? I wanted to say to Carol, "Why don't you, oh I don't know, SEND MAX AN EMAIL OF THE SITUATION WHEN HE IS NEXT ON THE COMPUTER (which is pretty soon for people these days) SO HE KNOWS WHAT'S GOING ON AND BUY HIM A TICKET?" Seriously, they have everything except a computer, which is another annoying plot convenience.
The fourth problem is the product placement, my gosh, they will not let you forget that this a movie that takes place in the 2020s, and it has product placement all over. From Nintendo to Lego to Nerf, you'd have to try to not find some sort of product placement in here. They clearly did not learn their lesson from Home Alone 4 with all the technology placement and it shows, in a couple of years, this movie is already going to be dated because of this, mark my words. The reason the first two movies worked so well was because it wasn't focused on current trends or popular culture, just simply what any kid would do in a situation Kevin is in. I get that that these are pretty standard items to have in a house with kids nowadays, but they should have toned it down a little bit because it is way too excessive and will cause it to age badly.
The fifth problem is that they introduce these characters you could really could not care less about, the old lady, while she is a nice woman, she is never seen again, unlike the pigeon lady and the snow shovel man from the first two movies, and we Never find out much about her, so she just comes off as plot exposition. The real estate guy is forgettable, as are most of his cousins and siblings, (granted they aren't much memorable in the first two movies either but at least they put some time into showing their personalities and interactions).
The final, but definitely not the only, problem with this movie is a huge Disney trying to sell you this with nostalgia bait, while the scene with Buzz and the music and the traps are nice, every time it gives a reference, I roll my eyes, because this encapsulates Disney now. They are mostly creatively bankrupt now, and now they are on a quest to recycle stuff already done from Fox and themselves, and it comes off as poor taste. I also love the irony that Disney allowed the line of remakes not being as good as the original to slip into the movie because that's exactly the problem. It's the exact same thing, but somehow made to be boring and unappealing, and they have no self awareness of this. If this movie is anything to go by, this proves Disney doesn't think of 20th Century Fox as a studio with a lot of creative works of art, they only think of it as a studio with a lot of cash cows, and they are hellbent on milking them for all their worth to satisfy their unsatisfiable greed, and I am so sick of it!
Ultimately, Home Sweet Home Alone is a better movie than the fourth and fifth movie, but it still is a disgrace to the first two movies that desperately relies on pop culture references, product placement, and nostalgia bait that ends up feeling lackluster and shallow. I only saw this movie out of curiosity because I already had access to Disney Plus, if my only option was to watch this in movies, I wouldn't have paid a single cent to see it. So, if you are interested in watching the Home Alone movies, I would I highly recommend you check out the first two movies, and stay away from 3-5, and especially stay away from this hot garbage, this doesn't even deserve the Home Alone name, I just hope that one day, ONE DAY, this movie gets a proper continuation, but after seeing this movie, that probably won't happen. Disney could have made a proper continuation to Home Alone 2, and revived the franchise, but instead they squandered it and that is what hurts most. This could have been an amazing movie, but it was squandered, that money was more important than a kid, just trying to protect his home from Harry and Marv.
So to start things off, I'll talk about all of the good things about it, don't worry it won't be too long. For starters, they actually got the premise of being truly alone for an extended period of time, something the 3-5 instalments failed to do. It also feels more like a Home alone movie than the other 3 movies, but that's like saying stubbing your toe is better than breaking your leg, it still hurts. The appearance of Buzz McCallister as a police officer is also a nice nod to the original Home Alone movies, and it has a better sense of feeling like a sequel unlike Home Alone 4, and especially 3 and 5 (3 and 5 are pretty much in name only sequels given that the only thing tying it to the franchise is the title, and the broad premise). The cinematography is also a huge step up, even if it is to be expected. The music is also more true to the original home alone, and the traps are a huge improvement over Home Alone 4, since he made them himself instead of them being built into the house. I also like how they didn't go with the bad guys go to jail cliche, which I liked the idea of, but its execution was problematic, but more on that later.
Unfortunately, that is where all the positives of this movie end. Now, let's start out with the comedy. Now while what you find funny is subjective, the way comedy works isn't, and the comedy does not work in this movie. It has a couple of good jokes, but often times, it tries too hard to be hip and cool with modern culture, and other unfunny moments, like Jeff farting on Pam's face, and a guy sleeping on Carol in a creepy way just to name a couple. And the comedy just won't stop, and it failed to entertain me for the most part.
The next problem is that the characters act in nonsensical ways. Like for instance, Jeff and Pam, have this dumb and completely unfounded accusation that Max "stole" a doll. Instead of reasonably talking to his parents by phone or email and explaining the situation to them, they break in to his house, which causes Max to get defensive over his life, causing the house to get trashed in the process. And again, instead of talking to Max and asking for it back, they try to pretend to be Santa. Even if he did steal, breaking into a house is not the right way to get something back. Also, after they find out all that was going on was Max took a soda can, nobody gets any consequences (at least on screen) for what happened after every part of Jeff's accusation was completely wrong, and they all just walk away Scott free. And remember how the not going to jail cliche? Well, I like the idea of it, but the problem comes from how they don't reasonably ask for their property back by contacting his parents or knocking on the house, and then Max gets no consequences for trashing the house. Even for home alone, the violence is really The ending is not awful, it's good they find friends in each other, but it definitely falls short of the first two endings, and it doesn't have the same magic.
The third problem comes from how technology is portrayed. For example, Carol says they don't have a land line, but surely they have a computer he could use to stay in contact with his mother, because they have a gaming console, a vr, and a virtual assistant. Are you seriously telling me, that they have smart phones and all of this other unnecessary technology, but they don't have a computer????!!!! I know it is fiction, but this is ridiculous, what situation is it where you have a vr headset and gaming consoles, but you don't have a computer for office related stuff? I wanted to say to Carol, "Why don't you, oh I don't know, SEND MAX AN EMAIL OF THE SITUATION WHEN HE IS NEXT ON THE COMPUTER (which is pretty soon for people these days) SO HE KNOWS WHAT'S GOING ON AND BUY HIM A TICKET?" Seriously, they have everything except a computer, which is another annoying plot convenience.
The fourth problem is the product placement, my gosh, they will not let you forget that this a movie that takes place in the 2020s, and it has product placement all over. From Nintendo to Lego to Nerf, you'd have to try to not find some sort of product placement in here. They clearly did not learn their lesson from Home Alone 4 with all the technology placement and it shows, in a couple of years, this movie is already going to be dated because of this, mark my words. The reason the first two movies worked so well was because it wasn't focused on current trends or popular culture, just simply what any kid would do in a situation Kevin is in. I get that that these are pretty standard items to have in a house with kids nowadays, but they should have toned it down a little bit because it is way too excessive and will cause it to age badly.
The fifth problem is that they introduce these characters you could really could not care less about, the old lady, while she is a nice woman, she is never seen again, unlike the pigeon lady and the snow shovel man from the first two movies, and we Never find out much about her, so she just comes off as plot exposition. The real estate guy is forgettable, as are most of his cousins and siblings, (granted they aren't much memorable in the first two movies either but at least they put some time into showing their personalities and interactions).
The final, but definitely not the only, problem with this movie is a huge Disney trying to sell you this with nostalgia bait, while the scene with Buzz and the music and the traps are nice, every time it gives a reference, I roll my eyes, because this encapsulates Disney now. They are mostly creatively bankrupt now, and now they are on a quest to recycle stuff already done from Fox and themselves, and it comes off as poor taste. I also love the irony that Disney allowed the line of remakes not being as good as the original to slip into the movie because that's exactly the problem. It's the exact same thing, but somehow made to be boring and unappealing, and they have no self awareness of this. If this movie is anything to go by, this proves Disney doesn't think of 20th Century Fox as a studio with a lot of creative works of art, they only think of it as a studio with a lot of cash cows, and they are hellbent on milking them for all their worth to satisfy their unsatisfiable greed, and I am so sick of it!
Ultimately, Home Sweet Home Alone is a better movie than the fourth and fifth movie, but it still is a disgrace to the first two movies that desperately relies on pop culture references, product placement, and nostalgia bait that ends up feeling lackluster and shallow. I only saw this movie out of curiosity because I already had access to Disney Plus, if my only option was to watch this in movies, I wouldn't have paid a single cent to see it. So, if you are interested in watching the Home Alone movies, I would I highly recommend you check out the first two movies, and stay away from 3-5, and especially stay away from this hot garbage, this doesn't even deserve the Home Alone name, I just hope that one day, ONE DAY, this movie gets a proper continuation, but after seeing this movie, that probably won't happen. Disney could have made a proper continuation to Home Alone 2, and revived the franchise, but instead they squandered it and that is what hurts most. This could have been an amazing movie, but it was squandered, that money was more important than a kid, just trying to protect his home from Harry and Marv.
What the heck was this?
12 August 2021
Not as bad as some say, but it still suffers from a ton of problems that makes this an unworthy adaptation
1 March 2021
Warning: Spoilers
If you don't want to read the whole review, skip to the tl;dr section near the bottom.
As a little kid when I was 5-10, I absolutely remember loving this movie and thinking it was one heck of a film, mainly because of those strutters, dinosaurs and animation. However, this is before I found out that it was part of a franchise containing a miniseries a tv series and four books (not to mention the countless tie in novels). I recently rewatched this along with watching the miniseries for the first time as well as read the books, and I have discovered a lot of problems with this adaptation. Before I talk about the problems, I will talk about some of the good stuff, don't worry it won't be long. First of all, the animation is actually pretty good for a home video release and is they actually integrate in to the backgrounds properly. The introduction in this adaptation at least some what resembles the original book introduction with a ship wreck with Kex ending up on the island after a storm sent his lifeboat on the island of dinotopia, kind of like Arthur Dennison and will in the original book. The Strutters actually look the way they are depicted in the book and I can overlook the digital screens on them that were added on them. The voice acting is okay for the most part (with the exception of Spazz, more on him later), Waterfall city looks how it does in the book as do the skybak riders, I think the sun stones trapping radio waves was a good way to fill in a plot hole in a modern setting, John, 26, Mara, and Kex are pretty decent characters (though Kex can be a bit whiny and annoying sometimes), the after credits music is very calm and relaxing, the backgrounds are pretty good, and the ruby sunstone sarcophagus scene was extremely cool. However, that's where the positive things about this adaptation end. Now I'm going to talk about the main problems of this adaptation. For starters, they made the mistake of taking characters like Ogthar and Stinktooth, but they do not look or have the same origins at all as they do in the original book series. And some hardcore fans might take issue with digital screens being added to the strutters amongst other things. Also, the majority of dinosaurs in this adaptation have been given the ability to talk WHEN it is convenient to the plot. I might have given this a past if it was just a select few dinosaurs, but nope, the majority of the main dinosaurs in the movie can talk. Not only that, but there is no consistency to when this occurs. Like Spazz can talk like everyone else despite just hatching halfway through the movie, while other baby dinosaurs can't talk at all. And the same goes for the adult dinosaurs as well. If you're going to make every dinosaur talk, at least go all the way with it. Third, the film seemingly can't decide whether Kex or 26 is the main character in this movie. At the start of the movie, you're lead to believe it is Kex. However, when John leaves 26 in charge, she is put with a lot of responsibility being in charge of finding the eggs and looking after the hatchery. Plus, 26 is right on the cover whereas Kex is way in the background on the DVD's cover. Now, I think what they should have done here is have 26 start out the film doing her duties and then finding Kex washed ashore in the distance. I don't think it would have solved all of the problems but it would have been something at least. I also think they didn't explore enough of the island and made this too short. If you added a couple more scenes having Kex exploring the island in the quest, then that would have been a much better way of showing the island instead of telling. Another problem with this adaptation is Rhoga and Thudd, they just feel too forcibly evil and I know they don't like their poop patrol job and it is understandable, but they feel so annoying and unlikable, and sometimes feel evil for the sake of being evil. And despite the title, this barely feels anything like a dinotopia movie because of all of these changes. Kex, while an okay protagonist, we don't know much about him besides that he's an orphan, likes to skateboard, and wants to see the world. I think they should have given him flashbacks to when he was still at the orphanage and have him be responsible for looking after the hatchery and find the eggs if they wanted to make Kex the protagonist. Also for some reason they thought iguanadons shed skin like iguanas do, which is not true at all. The strutters while I can overlook them adding digital technology, I can not overlook how they made the strutters stop working after spazz's trex head got chopped off, even though in the books they can still work even after losing a head. Also, the toilet humour is very lazy and unoriginal in this movie, they just do the joke and don't twist it into anything clever. And BY FAR THE WORST PART OF THIS ADAPTATION IS SPAZZ. Annoying, no fruit flies are annoying, this creature is a glimpse into h3//. Every time he is on screen and says something you just want him to shut up and choke him to death, nothing he does is whitty or charming or funny, it is just him pretending to be funny and annoying all of the main characters, he is easily the worst character by far not only in this film but out of any dinotopia adaptation or books, he's worst then so called stinktooth and so called ogthar and that is saying a lot. Finally, the ending felt intense but it felt like they were trying to copy the return of the king ending, I wished "stinktooth" just ate "ogthar" as it would have ended it a lot sooner. And the ending of Kex choosing an egg for himself feels wrong as he barely did anything helpful compared to 26. Then the movie ends and we see what happens in the credits. I think if I was to make this, I would have made Kex the hero where he is the one who throws the stone into the volcano. Also, I would have made ogthar a grandson of Lee crab or have lee crab be the one stuck in a sarcophagus, as that would have made a little more sense, as well as add more scenes introducing the world of dinotopia like Waterfall city and revealing more information about Kex. Additionally, I would have just taken out of spazz, and all of these unfunny scenes. Moreover, I would have added flashbacks of Kex in the orphanage to add some more depth to his character. If this was something on its own and not connected to dinotopia, some of the problems could have had a chance of being solved like the consistency of the lord of Dinotopia, but the characters are still pretty badly written and underdeveloped, spazz is an unlikeable and annoying character, the hero is jumbled around and the pacing is uneven.
TL;DR. Ultimately, Dinotopia quest for the ruby sunstone lacks consistency with dinotopia as a whole, contains too many unfunny jokes, has very underdeveloped, and it feels like the makers of this film had merely looked at the pictures of the books, slapped some modernness on it, watched the miniseries in the background while working on something else, and made up facts about the world of dinotopia. Even if this was on its own, I probably would still have issues with it because of the jumbled up writing amongst other things. Even the miniseries is better because it at least tried to be a continuation of the books (granted they failed but at least they made an attempt as they felt like they actually read the books). True, it does feature some elements from the original book series, the animation is good for a home video release, and it does have okay characters, and it is not the worst thing ever (I've seen way worse movies) but it is advisable to skip this movie unless you have a child under 8. Hallmark, you messed up with this film.
As a little kid when I was 5-10, I absolutely remember loving this movie and thinking it was one heck of a film, mainly because of those strutters, dinosaurs and animation. However, this is before I found out that it was part of a franchise containing a miniseries a tv series and four books (not to mention the countless tie in novels). I recently rewatched this along with watching the miniseries for the first time as well as read the books, and I have discovered a lot of problems with this adaptation. Before I talk about the problems, I will talk about some of the good stuff, don't worry it won't be long. First of all, the animation is actually pretty good for a home video release and is they actually integrate in to the backgrounds properly. The introduction in this adaptation at least some what resembles the original book introduction with a ship wreck with Kex ending up on the island after a storm sent his lifeboat on the island of dinotopia, kind of like Arthur Dennison and will in the original book. The Strutters actually look the way they are depicted in the book and I can overlook the digital screens on them that were added on them. The voice acting is okay for the most part (with the exception of Spazz, more on him later), Waterfall city looks how it does in the book as do the skybak riders, I think the sun stones trapping radio waves was a good way to fill in a plot hole in a modern setting, John, 26, Mara, and Kex are pretty decent characters (though Kex can be a bit whiny and annoying sometimes), the after credits music is very calm and relaxing, the backgrounds are pretty good, and the ruby sunstone sarcophagus scene was extremely cool. However, that's where the positive things about this adaptation end. Now I'm going to talk about the main problems of this adaptation. For starters, they made the mistake of taking characters like Ogthar and Stinktooth, but they do not look or have the same origins at all as they do in the original book series. And some hardcore fans might take issue with digital screens being added to the strutters amongst other things. Also, the majority of dinosaurs in this adaptation have been given the ability to talk WHEN it is convenient to the plot. I might have given this a past if it was just a select few dinosaurs, but nope, the majority of the main dinosaurs in the movie can talk. Not only that, but there is no consistency to when this occurs. Like Spazz can talk like everyone else despite just hatching halfway through the movie, while other baby dinosaurs can't talk at all. And the same goes for the adult dinosaurs as well. If you're going to make every dinosaur talk, at least go all the way with it. Third, the film seemingly can't decide whether Kex or 26 is the main character in this movie. At the start of the movie, you're lead to believe it is Kex. However, when John leaves 26 in charge, she is put with a lot of responsibility being in charge of finding the eggs and looking after the hatchery. Plus, 26 is right on the cover whereas Kex is way in the background on the DVD's cover. Now, I think what they should have done here is have 26 start out the film doing her duties and then finding Kex washed ashore in the distance. I don't think it would have solved all of the problems but it would have been something at least. I also think they didn't explore enough of the island and made this too short. If you added a couple more scenes having Kex exploring the island in the quest, then that would have been a much better way of showing the island instead of telling. Another problem with this adaptation is Rhoga and Thudd, they just feel too forcibly evil and I know they don't like their poop patrol job and it is understandable, but they feel so annoying and unlikable, and sometimes feel evil for the sake of being evil. And despite the title, this barely feels anything like a dinotopia movie because of all of these changes. Kex, while an okay protagonist, we don't know much about him besides that he's an orphan, likes to skateboard, and wants to see the world. I think they should have given him flashbacks to when he was still at the orphanage and have him be responsible for looking after the hatchery and find the eggs if they wanted to make Kex the protagonist. Also for some reason they thought iguanadons shed skin like iguanas do, which is not true at all. The strutters while I can overlook them adding digital technology, I can not overlook how they made the strutters stop working after spazz's trex head got chopped off, even though in the books they can still work even after losing a head. Also, the toilet humour is very lazy and unoriginal in this movie, they just do the joke and don't twist it into anything clever. And BY FAR THE WORST PART OF THIS ADAPTATION IS SPAZZ. Annoying, no fruit flies are annoying, this creature is a glimpse into h3//. Every time he is on screen and says something you just want him to shut up and choke him to death, nothing he does is whitty or charming or funny, it is just him pretending to be funny and annoying all of the main characters, he is easily the worst character by far not only in this film but out of any dinotopia adaptation or books, he's worst then so called stinktooth and so called ogthar and that is saying a lot. Finally, the ending felt intense but it felt like they were trying to copy the return of the king ending, I wished "stinktooth" just ate "ogthar" as it would have ended it a lot sooner. And the ending of Kex choosing an egg for himself feels wrong as he barely did anything helpful compared to 26. Then the movie ends and we see what happens in the credits. I think if I was to make this, I would have made Kex the hero where he is the one who throws the stone into the volcano. Also, I would have made ogthar a grandson of Lee crab or have lee crab be the one stuck in a sarcophagus, as that would have made a little more sense, as well as add more scenes introducing the world of dinotopia like Waterfall city and revealing more information about Kex. Additionally, I would have just taken out of spazz, and all of these unfunny scenes. Moreover, I would have added flashbacks of Kex in the orphanage to add some more depth to his character. If this was something on its own and not connected to dinotopia, some of the problems could have had a chance of being solved like the consistency of the lord of Dinotopia, but the characters are still pretty badly written and underdeveloped, spazz is an unlikeable and annoying character, the hero is jumbled around and the pacing is uneven.
TL;DR. Ultimately, Dinotopia quest for the ruby sunstone lacks consistency with dinotopia as a whole, contains too many unfunny jokes, has very underdeveloped, and it feels like the makers of this film had merely looked at the pictures of the books, slapped some modernness on it, watched the miniseries in the background while working on something else, and made up facts about the world of dinotopia. Even if this was on its own, I probably would still have issues with it because of the jumbled up writing amongst other things. Even the miniseries is better because it at least tried to be a continuation of the books (granted they failed but at least they made an attempt as they felt like they actually read the books). True, it does feature some elements from the original book series, the animation is good for a home video release, and it does have okay characters, and it is not the worst thing ever (I've seen way worse movies) but it is advisable to skip this movie unless you have a child under 8. Hallmark, you messed up with this film.
How the crap does this have a 6.6 out of 10??
9 December 2020
Warning: Spoilers
I give it three stars, one for having amazing cinematography, another for having an amazing score, and a third for placing the middle finger on the Last Jedi. It's not the worst film, that Honour goes to Cuties, but won't talk about it here. I don't think it is as bad as the Last Jedi, but with that being said, stay away from this film, as it completely makes Anakins sacrifice pointless and creates many more questions. How did Emperor Palpatine survive being thrown out, on top of being exploded on top of being trapped in space? Where on earth did General Hux become on the side of the resistance when there was no foreshadowing of any kind? This movie has just created way more questions than it has answered. Also, how is Poe shocked that stormtroopers have jet packs, after seeing lightsabers droids and other stuff? It also rips off the Return of the Jedi in several ways. Kylo Ren is redeemed, and saves himself from Rey like Vader was to Luke respectively, the order manages to defeat the order, and so much more. Rose and Mazz (however you're supposed to spell her name glasses green) are just standing there doing nothing important, C3PO and that annoying robot side kick are idiots who don't do anything funny, even Palpatine, is a joke despite being the main villain. Leia dies without any foreshadowing and for no reason. If you're looking to watch the original trilogy Star Wars and somehow never watched it, then by all means go right ahead it's fantastic. Heck, go watch the clone wars cartoon and the mandalorian and maybe revenge of the site. But whatever you do, DO NOT watch this film and especially do not watch the Last Jedi, this trilogy doesn't even deserve the Star Wars name. If you want to watch a film from last year because you're stuck at home right now, watch the Avengers endgame, if you have seen that watch Jumanji the next level or knives out. Jumanji the next level is not an amazing film, but it's a million times better than this garbage, as it did not destroy many years of Star Wars. Some people are calling this amazing and we're all being too harsh on this film, no I think we are being correct, none of the other Star Wars films in the original and prequel trilogy were anywhere near this awful. Stay away from this awful film and watch Jumanji the next level or knives out instead.
Even Love and Monsters is better than this
13 September 2020
Warning: Spoilers
Before you get out your pitchforks, let me explain why. First of all, they say that there were FOUR other doctors before the "first" doctor. How???? They were never mentioned ever and the show specifically said they could only regenerate 12 times before they ran out of regenerations. Well with this in mind, the doctor should have run out of these regenerations at the seventh or eight doctor. Second, Jodie Whittaker is once again trying too hard at copying Matt smith and David Tennant because it's too hard for her to do her own performance. At least Love and Monsters DIDNT DESTROY 57 YEARS OF CANON AND CREATED A BUNCH OF PLOT HOLES. Don't get me wrong I hate love and monsters but even they knew how to stay consistent with the storyline even if the story totally sucked. Avoid this episode at all costs.
Early Man
(2018)
Not a great film, but it is worth watching to some extent
1 April 2018
Early man is a good film, but there were a couple of things that got annoying after a while.
Cons: the caveman are stupid joke got annoying after 10 minutes. -1
Predictable plot like a lot of sport movies. -1
A bit of annoying characters in the film, some of the caveman. -1
Pros:
Good screenplay for the most part +1
Good animation and music +1
Characters are creative and original +1
Mostly original comedy,laughable good humour +1
Enjoyable for most ages if not all +1
Setting is nice to look at +1
Football looked in history in a new way +1
In short, this film is worth watching, and has decent jokes and a storyline even if it's predictable. Sure it's not a 10/10 but it's not anywhere close to awful as movies such as minions or fred
In short, this film is worth watching, and has decent jokes and a storyline even if it's predictable. Sure it's not a 10/10 but it's not anywhere close to awful as movies such as minions or fred
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