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zombienic
Reviews
Nowhere (2023)
Awful!
No way people actually thought this was a good movie. 2 hours of watching a complete moron make bad choice after even dumber choice. None of it makes sense. No way this broad would survive. Also lots of generic mistakes. Like at the end-the rescue boat switches from moving (with the motor) to just bobbing in the water about 10 times in 60 seconds. The main character doesn't know how to listen or use simple common sense. Then suddenly realizes she might have a brain after all and starts using it, all to make a huge mistake again by almost losing the baby. More fun includes the woman buying into the placenta she's had in a tupperwear for days. Gross! Also at the end, we don't know how long she's in the water but even if you could be resuscitated you would have massive brain damage. But alas, she and the baby are fine! Even after days in a freezing ocean haha
What's the world coming to when people give movies like this an 8-10 star rating? We're doomed.
Mirrors (2008)
One star for the jaw
Atrocious acting, multiple plot holes, and a super lame "plot twist that anyone normal could see coming" ending made this movie a real drag to watch. The one star is for the jaw scene with Amy Smart, that was pretty cool.
I don't like Kiefer Sutherland as an actor to begin with, but the overreacting in this is awful. And his character is so unlikable, I honestly didn't care what happened to him. No idea who the actress playing his wife is, but I'm pretty sure they just plucked her off the street and told her to act. So cringe! Also was going for her demise as not only was her "acting" rubbish but her character was an idiot!
The kids were fine, the poor young lad who died in real life at age 20 plays the son.
I could go on and on about the ridiculousness of finding the esseker nun and her just casually going back to the place that destroyed her as a child but it's all just too stupid.
Skip this one folks, or just watch for laughs and the jaw scene.
The Nurse (2023)
True story made poorly
This show is supposed to be based on a true story. It is similar to the good nurse also on Netflix but this is Danish and happened in another country (obviously). I saw one review that said they were glad it was available in English (they also did not watch the whole show so I believe their rating is unfair) if a show on Netflix is in it's native language, you should watch it that way. Things that are dubbed in English are terrible! That being said-the show is hard to believe. A new nurse comes on at a hospital with a bad reputation and notices within a month or two that people are dying all the time. I don't know what hospitals are like in other countries, but I know that if my hospital here in Minnesota had multiple people dying every night there would be an investigation LOL everyone just appears to think this is normal even though people are dying that had very minor things wrong with them and they are all dying for the same reason. At least in the movie from America that guy got away with it because he moved from hospital to hospital, this lady has been at the same one for 2 years. I can't believe it took that long to figure this out and arrest this broad. Not sure if the show is trying to portray how stupid all these people were but it's really sad for the families and everyone who lost their life because of a psycho and no one doing anything about it!
Acting is just ok. You know who the killer is in the first episode so there's no mystery or suspense. I gave it a five because I like True Crime. I will read more about this case when I have time but I will be shocked if more people weren't held accountable other than the actual crazy nurse, as the doctors should have been suspicious as well as other nurses and done something about it.
Noise (2023)
What did I just watch?
This is one of the worst movies I've ever seen. It's like a bunch of people had a bunch of ideas and they just threw them all into a hat and put them together into a movie that makes absolutely no sense! There is zero backstory so you have no clue what's going on. The main male character is trying to figure out some sort of mystery about his father's old factory that has nothing to do with the other theme of the movie. People in town are rude to the main female character but we are never given a reason why! I've never seen writing this poor on the screen! I wish I could get the time back I was waiting for the story to come together and make sense but it never did. Skip this one!
Nothing But Trouble (1991)
Folk em!
Classic comedy that I grew up watching and just as funny watching now. Had to go with a 9 simply because the "babies" have always given me the willies. The way their stomachs bounce and their faces *shudder* Great cast, superb sets (it's hard to make this mess look this good people!), cool props. Kids these days might not get the humor (and I don't get theirs sometimes lol) but this is a classic and will always be a fave. Chevy's dry humor always makes me laugh. I miss John candy so much! If you like these actors in other movies, definitely check this one out. Story is wacky but that's what makes it fun. For those rating poorly-folk em! BTW-look for a very young 2pac!
Twee zomers (2022)
How To Tell Who's Who
The show was just okay. It had one of those non-endings so you have to figure out or interpret it for yourself. The older versions of the people do not match well with their younger versions. However I do have to say something about all the reviews from people who cannot tell who's who! I don't know if you people just aren't watching the show or you don't have any common sense or what's going on but it's clearly shown who's who in the beginning of each episode. In the first episode the beginning shows everybody at 20, then their 50 year old version dancing. In each subsequent episode it shows ONE character in 92 and then the character playing them 30 years later! How has nobody seen this?? I knew who everybody was in the first episode. If you cannot put two characters together then maybe you should stop watching TV and start doing some higher education to increase your brain cells. The show definitely has its flaws and stupid/unrealistic parts, but the reviews from people who can't pay attention are more annoying than the show.
Give this show a try. At the end of the first episode if you don't know who's who turn off your TV and go pick up a book. Are people seriously this dumb? If so, this world is doomed.
28 Days Haunted (2022)
Embarrassing!
This actual comedy is so embarrassing. I can't believe the actors did this. I hope they get roasted in real life for being in such an incredibly stupid show. The fat couple that are in the dry goods store are the worst, altho they're all bad. The one guy has heart attack symptoms and has to go to the hospital and then they show him as soon as he gets back from the hospital stuffing his face with fried food and soda! That's why you had the symptoms,, NOT a spirit lol! The skinny guy with the glasses in Preston is crying because one of the partners there hurt his feelings LOL another finds a metal star in the ground and says it's a pentagram. It's not even close to a pentagram it's just a decorative star!
There's no actual evidence shown in this program to prove anything. I can't count the number of times I yelled at the TV for how stupid it is. In real life I believe that there are things we cannot explain but this show shows nothing like that. After the first episode I just let it play in the background while I did chores. My husband watched an episode with me so we could laugh together. On a side note I was just in Preston, Connecticut and was going to stay at the place they are at on here but chose another hotel. Based on the reviews for that hotel regarding cleanliness, I'm glad I did not stay there. Looks like the only thing scary there is the spiders!
The "actors" have been doing this for years and get scared over things that my five-year-old nephew wouldn't be scared of. Skip this one and save your brain cells!
The Watcher (2022)
Atrocious in every way
Story is absolutely nothing like what really happened to the real family. Tons of ridiculous story lines that don't make any sense. If I lived there I would have punched every neighbor in the face the 1st day, especially the ugly old bag with the braids who overacts so poorly its almost laughable, and the fat cow next door. I'm not offended by swearing but the amount in this show is over the top. And wait till the end where nothing is answered. I feel bad for the real family. A movie about what really happened might not be as "entertaining" but at least it would be legit. Don't fall for the good reviews just because of the "big name" actors, this show is trash. Please look up the real story. Or watch this assuming it's all fiction as it most definitely is by about 98%.
Instant Dream Home (2022)
Get ready to mute a lot!
Screech screech screeeech UGHHH! SHUT UP!! Worst host ever!!! I had to mute this every single time this "host" was on the screen or my ears would bleed. 1st episode in and the family with a baby on the way doesn't have enough room in their house. Maybe you should get jobs and buy your own house instead of living with your mother! They also cut down a bunch of living trees which is a huge cringe moment! While some of the things they decorate with do look pretty nice you don't really see anything that belongs to the family so where is all that stuff going to go? And all the dark paint just makes the rooms appear smaller. I will not be able to watch the rest of this program. The British home shows are SO much better.
P. S. They put the nursery in a closet lolol.
Virgin River (2019)
Season 4 is pathetic
So this is like a soap opera. I found it entertaining enough in the first three seasons for something to waste time even though I rolled my eyes a lot. The character of Hope is incredibly annoying and terrible actor. I also can't stand Connie she is one nasty lady! But season 4 takes a turn for the worse (if you can believe it)! I don't know what happened to the characters but they have become even more stupid in season 4. In one episode a tank is leaking under the bar. Preacher says I think we have a leak. You don't say! Then Christopher calls him from a hotel but can't tell him where he is LOL maybe look outside? Or even at the phone they all say the hotel name on them. A new love interest of Preacher asks who's in the picture when she finds a drawing of him with Christopher and Paige. Later he references the incident and says "you came at me with all these questions" LOL one question?? Lots of really stupid stuff like this in season 4. Everyone is a whiny bee. Too much drama that normal adults don't go through. In one scene two guys are out hunting and one falls through a deer blind. Keep in mind these are outdoor people but they have no idea what to do, zero survival skills LOL the main character is of Mel and Jack are constantly arguing I don't understand why they even try to make the relationship work. Real relationships don't work like this! And now in season four we have another new shady character with no conclusion at the end so you have to wait for season 5. The bug eyed ex Char, pregnant with twins, is in this season staring with her dumb face again. Also keep in mind that this is the fourth season and the acting has become much worse. Which concludes to me that these people can act but the directors are telling them to act this stupid. Before warned that if you like the first three seasons you are probably not going to like season 4.
Bienvenidos a Edén (2022)
No ending
Another crappy show written by crappy writers. Unless people this age or actually that stupid, which I hope is not true, there is no way any of these people would have made it past the first day.
Another show full of woke characters trying to be inclusive to everybody. While some people may think these kids are good looking most are not, and are very superficial. The girl with the cattle prod actually looks more like a man than the actual man playing a transgender woman. I counted zero good actors as well. Sadly some of these people may well be good actors but they are not in this terrible Netflix offering. The plot is very thin and makes no sense. Like another reviewer I want the island people to go down. Unfortunately you will have to wait for a season two (if they even make it) to find out what the hell is going on.
One of the most ridiculous parts from the show is that they have to scour the internet to find people to bring there. Then, even though they've done tons of research, some of the people still are not a good fit. Umm?? Seems like that defeats the whole purpose of selecting the few chosen LOL
It's impossible to feel bad for any of the characters because anyone who randomly goes to an island unknown to them, and drinks an unknown drink, deserves what they get! There is zero common sense in this program.
After watching so many bad shows on Netflix I am pretty sure I could bust out my old VHS camcorder and make a better show than this drivel!
Pálpito (2022)
How did this make it on Netflix?
Oh wait, almost everything on Netflix is garbage. Episode one. Tons of flashbacks right off the bat. A doctor does a heart transplant not knowing where the heart is coming from, then when the woman arrives she has clearly been shot and the doctor immediately knows that she is brain-dead and decides to proceed with the surgery! Yeah that makes sense. The woman receiving the heart is late for her own wedding because she's photographing a race. Give me a break! Then later she wants to take her camera to her own surgery hahaha! Extreme overacting. Extreme makeup on both the men and women. Nudity that doesn't have anything to do with the plot. A teen girl dressed in very little clothing for the creeps out there. I will not be continuing with the rest of this garbage. Save your brain cells. I get that this one's probably supposed to be like a soap opera but it's even worse than regular soap operas. Stick to shows from Europe if you want to watch a good show!
The Motive (2020)
The Unnamed Motive
Worst doc ever! What a waste of time. Some punk teen kills four family members and gets 9 years because his ugly mouth breather attorney wants him to inherit! As if this psycho deserves anything. They should have locked him up for life in a psych ward. This freak is roaming the streets! Yikes. Terrible interviews, no one seems to care for the 4 who died. Classmates and teachers go to visit him and are happy to see him! Footage is awful from the 1980s with no attempt to upgrade. Skip this one.
The Call (2013)
Decent story, hideous kidnapper.
The movie is okay. Besides the end. But I had to lower my stars all the way down to one because the bad guy is the most ugly guy I've ever seen in my life. I hope he is no longer on this planet. What a disgusting revolting creep! Yes this is just a movie but there are really people like this in the world and I wish they were all just disappear.
Bom Dia, Verônica (2020)
Another awful waste of time
The show makes no sense. The main character is the worst cop ever. She does things no regular person would do much less a police officer. I understand abuse and getting sucked into a bad relationship but the main character that gets abused would never stay through all of this! There are so many plotholes and just random scenes of torture. The lady in the abusive relationship has a sister that comes to visit and never contacts the police? Get real. We never know why the main bad guy did what he did. The show rips off a few other better shows as well. What's with the grandma and her ritual?? No one knows! Getting rid of the date rape guy at the end was the only highlight. Oh, and the morgue guy's sweet band tees. This show was trash. They even had a dog killed. And threw in the pathetic co-worker who keeps trying to kiss the main gal even tho she's married with kids. Sad.
Also, all the music in this show was so terrible! Is this garbage what people in Brazil actually listen to? I feel sorry for them. And of course we have the woke interracial marriage and even a hint that the female chief is gay. *eye roll* Don't waste hours of your life on this drivel.
Pieces of Her (2022)
Garbage
I watch a lot of TV when my husband works his midnight shifts. I wish I had just slept instead of wasting 8 hours of my life on this garbage.
The daughter is an awful actor and character. No one that stupid would live through the things she does with her knowledge. Both actors that play Jane are sickening. The young version has the personality of a soggy leaf and a dead stare that's rage inducing to watch. The old version has a hideous face, is always whining, and after one episode I couldn't bear to look at her face when she was on the screen so I'd just look down. Literally made me sick to my stomach. Especially when she's bald-ugh!! The young version of Nick also made me sick with his ghastly goatee and poor me attitude. There's a step dad but his character is irrelevant.
The story is boring and drawn out to the point of insanity. The end episode where Jane plays the piano beautifully is a crock. She hasn't played since she was a teen..no one could just sit down and play again like that-not one mistake.
The daughter can't seem to figure out what to do with her life and can hardly function yet all of a sudden knows how to run from professionals and track people down? And makes out with a strange man at some random bar? Real classy. Give me a break.
Netflix once again fails. The end is bland and falls flat. It's impossible to care for any of the characters. I hope Toni Collette retires so I never have to see her awful mug again.
Inventing Anna (2022)
Ugh
Every single character is annoying. I think the worst is Neff- always throwing out the race card- even going so far as to basically telling her black boyfriend he's not black enough because he grew up in Santa Barbara! What a nasty person and her ugly face actually made me sick to my stomach. So sick of EVERYTHING being woke and being made about race or political- remember this happened in 2013-17 before the world was this ridiculous (the world was always messed up but we've hit an all time low in 22). I love Julia G in Ozark but her accent in this is cringey and if the real Anna talked to anyone like this they'd punch her in the face. I how the real Anna is sick in ICE forever. Waste of space. 2 stars instead of one for the pretty clothes and scenery.
The Power of the Dog (2021)
Nasty son
I'm a huge fan of Benedict Cumberbatch so I was excited to finally watch this. The story is good and the ending is a nice twist but the boy who plays the son literally made me sick to my stomach with his disgusting lanky body and ugly face. There are 7 billion people in the world, they couldn't get somebody better looking to play this kid? I hope he was that thin for the role and he decided to eat after the movie was made. Gross.
The World's Most Amazing Vacation Rentals (2021)
Beautiful properties, idiotic hosts
If I hear Luis say "what a life!" once more I'll scream! 3 unknown rich "friends" who have no idea what a budget is say the same 5 words and phrases in every episode. They only say how much the property costs per night, completely ignoring that it costs money to get there as well. The hosts are annoying and have no personality. The rentals are stunning, wish they gave more info on them. Hosts are out of touch with real world people, claiming these luxury vacations are living the simple life. Great show for rich kids or anyone who has no grasp on reality. Luis always has to bring up his job in New York-no one cares!! Would be much better if the show had no commentary or actual experts! I can't believe Netflix paid for these morons to travel the world. I've never seen 3 people so out of touch and so immature.
72 Dangerous Places to Live (2016)
Narrated by a moron
Since I started it and got a couple episodes in, I forced myself to watch all of them. The show is absolute rubbish. TONS of the information is inaccurate. But the most annoying thing is the narrator! He doesn't know how to pronounce basic words like asbestos, hurricane, and severe. He says New Orleans wrong. He pronounces multiple other cities wrong. Did nobody edit this show? How can this show expect anyone else to take this show seriously when the host has such a low IQ? One episode talks about how people get sick from wind turbines! LMAO get real!! Don't waste your time like I did.
The Unsettling (2019)
Maybe scary if you're 7
The episodes were short so I forced myself to finish it as some shows get better..this one did not. Characters are stupid, no one acts how a real person would act in the real world. Anyone in their right mind would have left this "family" within 10 minutes of being in the house-clearly psycho cult members. The so-called elder, and the mother are abusive creeps! Some actors are ok, but Jason and Dominic are atrocious. They could have made this so much better but it's absolutely terrible. You might like it if you have a low IQ or have no idea what the real world is like. Netflix needs to stop this junk and add more quality shows for people with a brain.
The Vanished (2020)
The WORST
This is the worst movie I have seen in 20 years or more. Why these bigger name actors would choose these roles is beyond me. I know these people can act so I don't know where this awful acting comes from other than the director told them to act that poorly. The writing makes no sense and the story has tons of holes as well. Things like the police not checking obvious places, a dog getting killed, a neighbor camper turning up dead and no one being questioned, another man camping in the woods gets shot in the head by the woman lead (plus the police didn't find him while searching for the missing girl even though they did)?! What's the story with the crackhead kid? So many irrelevant characters and storylines. I could write a thousand word review on how terrible this is. And as for the twist at the end? I knew the outcome within the first 10 minutes so unless you have an extremely low IQ you will not be surprised by the ending. Please, do not waste 2 hours of your life on this rubbish you could stare at a blank wall and be more fulfilled.
Ju-on: Origins (2020)
Pretty good
I never write reviews but I felt compelled to do so to ask other viewers this-you know if Netflix dubs a show into English you can set it back to it's original language, right?? As soon as episode 1 started playing with the terrible American voices dubbing for the Japanese actors and butchering the translation, I immediately hit the audio button and switched it to Japanese. Some shows on Netflix automatically play in their original language, but if they don't you can almost always switch it back. Sure you have to read subtitles, but who cares? This show was pretty decent. Lots of time jumping so you have to pay attention or it's confusing. Some creepy/disturbing scenes. A lot of the bad reviews on here complain because it's nothing like the original. It's not supposed to be! People need to stop comparing everything to other shows and just watch it as it's own entity. If I had to watch this dubbed in English I probably would have given it a two or a three. Do yourself a favor and set it back to Japanese for the proper experience.