tristenjones-74208 Reviews

Brain Rush (2009)

A good show in the wrong place

[7/10 · 13 August 2019]

Now the concept of CN-Real was pretty dumb, I mean stop making cartoons for live action shows? I mean, it was pretty stupid. But this show wasn't exactly bad.

I mean the show was fun to watch, watching teenagers riding roller coasters while answering easy-to-moderate trivia to earn money, simple yet entertaining. Watching their reactions was pretty funny too.

However, despite how entertaining it was for me, it wasn't in the right place to be a lasting show. If it was on a channel like GSN (now Game Show Network), it could've lasted 2-3 seasons. Sadly, it was an experiment with a lot of potential that went down the drain. However, it does call for a good nostalgic drip.

Tornado Hunters (2014–2015)

Disappointing yet surprisingly annoying

[2/10 · 20 May 2019]

I've always been somewhat interested in tornadoes growing up. So when I saw this show, I was interested since I always love to see storm chasers catch great footage of tornadoes. However, the title is the biggest misleading thing I've ever read. For one, there's hardly any tornado action what so ever. Sure, they capture a funnel cloud or a small debris cloud here and there, but they never actually capture a good tornado until the VERY last episode. Most of the storms that they do capture are just time lapses of storms. Although those can be cool, but if I wanted to see those, I'd go on YouTube and see them there, not go on Netflix and watch so where I'd expect tornadoes.

However, the lack of tornadoes isn't what makes the show bad, yes there's worse. The actual storm chasers are what make the show even more bad, forgettable and boring. They constantly fuck up their travel when chasing these storms, and 75% of the time they're just messing around. No wonder these guys can't catch a tornado, they would have trouble finding their car keys given the chance.

If you want to go see some cool tornado chasing, go on YouTube and look up "Pecos Hank," now he has some great tornado chasing videos.

Upload with Shaquille O'Neal (2013– )

I felt bad.

[8/10 · 27 January 2019]

Saw the poor rating, so I gave a 8. You're welcome Shaq.

Very Cavallari (2018–2020)

I seriously only sat through one episode just to see Jay Cutler

[3/10 · 5 December 2018]

Now, I'm a big Chicago Bears fan, been one for about 10 years now, so pretty much every year until now Cutler has been on the team, once he retired, I didn't know what would be in store for him in his future. This is not what I thought would be in store. Anyway, I give this 3 stars, only because Cutler is in it.

Halloween (I) (2018)

Doesn't fully live up to the hype, but good watch (SPOILERS!)

[7/10 · 1 November 2018]

Now ever since Rob Zombie's reboot series came to light, everyone wondered if we'd see another Halloween movie again. Even bigger question, would Jamie Lee Curtis return? Since that was announced in 2016, everyone who was a horror fan got excited, knowing that the classic horror roots of Michael Myers would soon be returning. Did it exactly live up to it's hype? Somewhat, yes.

For one, Laurie Strode is what you'd expect, someone who's paranoid that Michael would come back after all many years of waiting. And the characters that follow Laurie (Her mother Karen and Granddaughter Allyson) are good additions to the Strode family.

Michael Myers hasn't changed a bit, well he has changed somethings a bit, for one he actually doesn't kill any dogs (for once) and has stepped out of his comfort zone and actually kills a kid (which yes, despite his homicidal nature, he doesn't go after kids, besides Jamie, but never mind that). In fact, the kills in this movie are even more gruesome than any of the others (that's right, move over Rob Zombie), and are slightly a big more creative.

Now while this film has it's moments, it also disappoints in some ways. For example, what this film didn't do what all the others did is that it didn't cut to the chase right away. So at first, you're wondering when Michael will strike, and it leaves you impatient. Also, what the original film did great that this film didn't is that, you knew Michael was around, you knew where he was, you just don't know his next move. This film, however, you know almost his every move and it's so predictable knowing what he's going to do next. Like you know what he's going to do, and it ruins the element of surprise. The worst thing about the movie in my opinion however is Ranbir Sartain, who is Michael's psychiatrist after Loomis' passing. I don't like how he's referred to as a 2nd Loomis, but then (SPOILER!) tries to help Michael continue his killing spree or reunite with Laurie Strode. It's basically spitting on Donald Pleasance's character.

But overall, this movie is a great watch, check it out. A little Michael Myers nostalgia wont hurt. Especially in a good film like this.

7/10.

Slender Man (I) (2018)

Why was this made?

[1/10 · 11 August 2018]

Since I've discovered the internet, I've been in love with the horror stories, real or fake. And this one was just my favorite. Slender man was just a scary thrill since I've been loving the game. When I heard a movie was going to be thing, I was skeptical since movies based on Urban Legends seem to be never good. Would this movie change the stereotype? NO!

This movie was one of the biggest disappointments of all time. I cannot believe I've waited about half a year for this pile of garbage.

For one, it's like this movie copy and pasted the ring and made it into a slender man movie it feels like. I cannot believe that I got dragged into this.

The characters in the movie just make it worse. I swear I've seen one of these girls on a SyFy Original Horror Movie. Only difference is that, those movies are better than this one.

1/10, I beg of you, do not watch this film unless you want to be disappointed.

Reading Rainbow (1983–2006)

Back when Educational Shows were good

[8/10 · 10 August 2018]

Back when I was a toddler and maybe up to 2nd grade, these shows were honestly what I watched everyday and this is one of them. I was honestly hooked to this show even if it did seem a little outdated for it's time. I loved the stories LeVar would read since it filled my imagination.

Nowadays, there's no shows that are like this anymore to be honest with you. Except for maybe Sesame Street (but that show is probably never going to end), and maybe a few others. To the parents that want to show their kids a classic TV show, then I definitely recommend this one.

Children of the Corn (2009 TV Movie)

Take you this movie and destroy it. (Revised)

[2/10 · 6 August 2018]

Seriously, why was this movie even made?

For one, this movie is just completely horrible and not in a good way. Like you know you have your "Movies that are so bad it's good," Well this is a "Movie that's so bad, it makes you angry."

For one, the kids in the movie, make you question how the heck did they take over the town? Were all the citizens there just weak people or elderly people. There was also just only one police officer, just one! I mean, these kids couldn't take over a block let alone a whole town. The only one that looks slightly bit intimidating is Malachi, and he doesn't even have a personality. More to add, what kind of a film is this supposed to be? For one, with Burt having PTSD and reminiscing a Vietnam War setting, you forget it's Children of the Corn, but at the same time how can I blame you? The constant arguing between Vicki and Burt just make your head explode almost since it goes on for pretty much the entire first half of the movie.

The worst part of the movie, Isaac. The thing about this Isaac is that the kid is just hilariously annoying and just makes you want to tear your ears off when he talks. The thing about John Franklin's Isaac is that he's actually good at the acting and is making a case for being scary. This Isaac, although he's trying hard, he just annoys you.

Not to mention, this is what the 8th movie if you add the movies all up. Why?

Again this movie is just bad and like I said earlier, take you this movie and destroy it. Do it now or your punishment shall be 1000 times, 1000 deaths, each one more horrible than the last! No not really, just I would highly recommenced you DO NOT check this movie out.

2/10, I give it 2 stars, it would be one star, but it's one of the only SyFy films that doesn't have horrible CGI.

Godzilla (I) (1998)

If this wasn't considered a "Godzilla" film, I'd forgive it

[4/10 · 1 August 2018]

Now, coming from a lifelong Godzilla fan, this film still kind of shocks me. Now when I first watched this film, and saw Zilla for the first time, I thought that Godzilla would show up later and would fight the monster. However toward the end of the film when I found out that was actually supposed to be Godzilla. I was in complete shock. I had no words. For one, the monster looks nothing like him, and his personality was nothing like Godzilla's. Godzilla's common personality was to go through and destroy everything in sight, this one, it just walks through New York not destroying anything. I mean, most of the destruction came from the military. And most damage Godzilla, sorry ZILLA created, was toward the end when he was going to die. Also, don't even get me started on the baby Zilla's. They look like the Velociraptors from Jurassic Park, and although the scenes don't look half bad, it's just to more of an Alien/Mutated version of the Jurassic Park raptors scene.

Although you try to not focus on humans in Godzilla movies, the humans are just unbearable in the film. Being the most bland characters you can see in a movie. The only character that's actually interesting is Jean Reno. Matthew Broderick and Maria Pitillo just want to make you fall asleep. While the others can be viewed as just completely annoying.

Now this movie wasn't all bad, I was definitely entertained by it in some scenes, however I just don't see it as a Godzilla film, because it really isn't. Even calling it Zilla is being nice, because I can't see it being remotely near Godzilla. I mean you don't see a movie of a Barbie Doll coming to life and then call it "Childs Play." No, this movie isn't bad, but it's not a Godzilla film in my mind.

4/10 stars below average.

Stranger Things (2016–2025)

This... is basically IT just without Pennywise

[6/10 · 16 March 2018]

Now, I was wondering why this show had such hype to it. I mean this show isn't bad, it's not. However, the formula is unoriginal, and looks shockingly similar to IT. How? 1. A group of kids that are unpopular 2. The adults seem not to realize anything is going on 3. Stuff is happening in a small town

If this took place in Maine, than the resemblance would be uncanny.

Children of the Corn: Runaway (2018 Video)

This movie is an OUTLANDER

[4/10 · 15 March 2018]

Well, all I can really say is... it's better than the 2009 film.

Also, why does every Stephen King film have many stereotypes?

The black guy that stands out among the rest, rednecks, the sunglasses wearing deputy, religious freaks, and people among the town that are just jerks. For an amazing author such as Stephen King, his formula sometimes gets so redundant it makes me nauseous.

The formula is simple, have some religious kids in corn, with farming tools, and they'll kill people. This film also mooches the formula of Children of the Corn 666: Isaac's Return, and I'll let you figure that out.

This movie isn't as bad as some of the previous installments, but still, how many more of these movies are going to be made?