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Reviews
Army of the Dead (2021)
Is It A Spoof?
Army Of The Dead (2021) directed by Zack Snyder seems to relish itself on screenplay that amounts to deliberate, deadpan, cringe. It's so bad and seemingly intentionally bad, that you wonder if Zack Snyder is actually spoofing these types of films in a subtle and dark way.
There's a nod to Aliens with a Vasquez lookalike. She ridiculously takes on a horde of zombies that surround her whle wearing the symbolic red bandanna. She even carries over her suspicious, untrusting persona of anyone that is obviously untrustworthy to the viewer.
There's the young daughter who can fire a handgun that lands perfect long range head shots everytime! A zombie tiger that only kills the really bad person in the most horrific way and leaves everyone else alone! There's the helicopter pilot who disappears momentarily towards the end after being told not to let them down. There's even a moment where the pilot asks why they have to go back with 9mins left before the nuke? To which the reply is they got to go back to rescue the daughter. The pilot then reacts with a damn, OK, OK just make sure you find her. It's total, crocodile cheese. It's why I believe this film is not meant to be taken as seriously as it is.
If you look hard enough you can see the varying levels of dark humoured, spoofing from other films. Scott gives a (we have made it) nod to his daughter in one scene just before they take the money from the safe. Scott also talks of what food outlet he's going to run with the 15 million he'll hopefully have. It's subtle spoofing and quite amusing looking at the film from the right angle.
The trouble is Zack Snyder made a grounded, absorbing zombie movie in the Dawn Of The Dead remake, so expectations are much of the same.
I believe Army Of The Dead is something that is coming from a more humoured angle. It works on a Spoof, deadpan level but doesn't work as an immersive, tension builder like the Dawn Of The Dead did. So your expectations will be jolted. The more cringey or cheesy you find the premise, scene or idea in this film, the more Zack is laughing.
Max Cloud (2020)
Oh Dear...
It's difficult to review a film that purposely wants to be bad to be entertaining. Max Cloud contains the Ingredients of a 16 bit games console, Cardboard sprayed sets and intentional B movie acting added with goofy, unrealistic fight scenes.
The movie combines what you would see in a kids tv series but throws in swearing and over the top, cartoonish violence.
Scott Adkins totally mocks his own self-created film image by being extra dumb, arrogant and self important. He does stupid things in every scene he's in to get a laugh. For me it felt slightly cringe inducing or forced.
The film excels at nothing. It allows itself to be watchable at best, and cringe at it's worst. All dependant on what demographic or mental age you are, or want to be.
It also stealthily throws in gender reassignment and racial ideologies too. You of course need that in your films of today. It's definitely not a film that I would ever want to watch again.
Rogue One (2016)
Makes You Frustrated At The Weaker Films
Rogue One rekindled the love to why the Star Wars franchise was so good to start with. Care and attention to details, breath taking visuals, balanced battle sequences all add up to a satisfying and captivating film. This was how the follow on films to Return Of The Jedi should have been done.
Lukas (2018)
Thought Provoking French Styled Thriller
It's amazing how an action movie star that has always been looked upon with a smirk and a snigger can appear in a film this captivating, dark and tense. Van Damme carries his role to the bloody end. Partly spoken French, partly spoken English but the film is totally French in style. And this is no criticism.
Beautifully paced yet offbeat, this film captivates with subtle screenplay and suggestive scores that always convinces you that danger could be around the next corner. Such a contrast to Van Damme's former films that dissolve any interest when this film keeps you magnetised to the bitter end.
Venom (2018)
Plotholes, cliches, cringe
Venom requires minimal intellect or thought. The action is superficial and silly and suffers from "long delays to kill a good guy syndrome". Kids might like this, but for anyone who seeks more substance and sense to their action this will leave you asking more questions inbetween the cringe inducing screenplay.
Sicario (2015)
Shocking & Powerful Yet Subdued Thriller
The pace and captivating screenplay give nods to what is going on. Nothing is made clear and the subtleties are something you explore as you watch. A Film that isn't too loud but isn't too quiet either.
It may lose your attention at certain points but persevere and watch to the end for the brutal moments that depict a powerful story of US special operations and simple revenge that drags down all that stand in it's wake.
6 Days (2017)
Not Totally True To Events
This film tries to build tension but fails. The hostage that gets killed half way is seen to be dragged onto a stretcher and blanketed but can be seen as a legless prop!? The jokey banter with the reporters almost makes the film tilt into some light hearted comedy. This really is a serious situation that didn't need this kind of humour if you wanted to maintain a tense atmosphere.
The biggest disappointment is the siege itself. One SAS soldier dangles and fumbles as he's stuck on his zip rope. After what feels like a good 5mins of the film cutting back and forth to other events, a soldier on the roof eventually cuts him loose!? Surely he could have cut himself free in a matter of seconds as part of his elite training? But no we are served this fumbling mess which really drags the pace of the siege into an amateurish halt. This isn't really a thing when you see the real footage. A poor attempt at tension building which really didn't work and made the long build up even more pointless.
The moment a terrorist is identified trying to escape with civilians on the stairs was resolved with an arrest and not a point blank shooting with an mp5. It's a watchable film and sets up 1980 believably enough. But what this film should have had is sadly lacking due to shoddy directing. It prefers to take you on a fumbling trip of nostalgia and sentimental after thoughts rather than elevating pace, tension and fluid action it was so gasping for.
Die Hard (1988)
The Reason Die Hard Is The Best Film In The Series...
I guess we could go down the 'Bruce Willis is in his prime here' path or even Alan Rickman is the perfect bad guy. But really this film excels beyond the average action film and it's sequels due to the fact it's in a contained, restricted environment where only stealth and quick thinking can secure the advantage against the odds. This scenario ramps up tension when there's little chance of escape. Unlike the following films which diluted the tension somewhat by allowing John McClane to run around freely or going on chaotic vehicle chases.
Bruce Willis wisecracks become the light in the darkness in Die Hard. Including his lighter that leads him down ventilation shafts. The action is purposeful and tense. Each fight there's a reward to be had for success which helps to heighten the action suspense. Ammo is limited and our hero really doesn't want to be where he is.
All in all Die Hard becomes an action, suspense, thriller where the outcome isn't looking positive and the underdog faces some strict odds in a claustrophobic scenario. A tension filled, thinking man's action film is what results here. And something which is rarely achieved to this day.
Black Water (2018)
Lundgren's One Liners Are The Only Positive!
I've never known a film to have so many conversations with guns pointed at one another. It also suffers from bad guys with assault rifles can't hit good guys. But good guys with handguns kill bad guys with one shot. But of course suspended belief is something you'll need to do a lot of for this film. Continuity is also a glaring issue in places. The action really is just lots of shootouts in narrow corridors on a submarine but done in very basic, point and shoot closed shots.
But can the plot or screenplay redeem this film instead? Not really. It suffers from double crossings a lot but acted out like a tv soap. It's very tongue in cheek and will have you muttering "Really?"
It's watchable but not engaging. This has nothing of a Lundgren/Van Damme action film of past but more a cheap tv movie about bad CIA operatives wanting to get rich featuring actresses who you'd think got their acting skills from adult movies.
The Beyond (2017)
A Real Shame
I was drawn in to the mystery and curiosity the film develops. It does it quite well with it's documentary style interviews. Some actors are better than others here, but nothing upsets the immersion and interest.
The Beyond reveals the truth of events in a decent enough surprise. But then it adds another event which feels rather weak and tacked on. The whole film feels very dreamy and superficial at times, but hangs in there thanks to the documentary style which adds some reality aspects. It's not a bad film by all means, but it's build up peaks at delivering something with impact, depth and substance. Instead it goes on rather weak ideals and a suggested helping hand which could lead some viewers to feel rather disappointed.
Ji qi zhi xue (2017)
If you like martial arts and balletic action...
There's no getting away from it, this film is completely mad. But there's fun to be had if you enjoy some superbly choreographed action. It is it's only saving grace unfortunately. There's a variety of young and deadly female fighters spinning around in black pvc offering stern looks and cheesy dialogue. I've also never heard such a dramatic score amidst so much crazy action, which only compounds itself towards the end, if you make it that far! This film will make you cringe and smile in equal measure if the lust for crazy action keeps you on board. The Jackie styled energy still emanates throughout the film, but it's not an easy ride to stay engaged with.