alexandriarch Reviews

CSI: Crime Scene Investigation: Zippered (2011) Season 12, Episode 9

Why bother with trying to have realism

[1/10 · 18 May 2022]

Good Grief There's a point in this episode which is straight out of a Marvel or Bruce Willis movie where Catherine blindly shoots a guy from inside a truck while it is being peppered with automatic gun fire.

What is the point of trying to make this show realistic, if you're just going to award super powers & plot armour?

Doctor Strange in the Multiverse of Madness (2022)

I watched this movie on accident & the MCU Fanboys are Fools

[9/10 · 9 May 2022]

I wasn't going to watch this movie, but due to a ticket purchasing hiccup I went to see it with my 3 Sons & my Wife. None of us had anything more than mild interest in this.

Everyone involved thought this is among the best Marvel Movie ever. Ignore the fanboys.

The Gamers: Hands of Fate (2013)

I'm being generous giving it a 3

[3/10 · 19 October 2020]

I try to write reviews that focus on what others don't say. This movie is bad. The other 2 Gamer movies are treasured gems. The problem with this movie can be summed up rather briefly. It's source material is obviously MTG and as nearly the entire scene is vile, so is the movie. Where the other Gamer movies are funny this one falls utterly flat. The reason is simple, most MTG zealots refuse to make fun of themselves or the game. The film can't let itself be funny for the same reason you can't draw a cartoon caricature of Muhammad. Sad.

Terminator 3: Rise of the Machines (2003)

Cameron Fanboys Crying

[8/10 · 6 October 2020]

This was always a good movie, that caught a bad rap because James Cameron wasn't involved with it. The Fanboys got involved and ruined everything. That's what they do. The same thing happened to the Alien Franchise. Highly recommend. Always have.

Scrubs (2001–2010)

Great Show

[10/10 · 29 September 2020]

This is truly a great show. Virtually no show can produce 8 Fantastic Seasons. I wrote this review to say Carla however, is an annoying character. No one else seems to address this.

A Christmas Carol (2019)

Explaining 1 & 10 Reviews

[6/10 · 15 September 2020]

This adaption is neither a 1 or a 10 by any means. I have it down as a 6, but realistically it's a 5 or 5.5. Several things are done right. The setting and much of the acting is really good. Guy Pierce is fantastic, which isn't surprising. The vulgarity and bleakness didn't offend me, but it felt a bit too much. They were obviously trying too hard to make the adult version of this story. Sigh. Here enters the real problem. Mary Cratchit is awful, and thoroughly unbelievable. Her character's forced Storylines end up relegating Tiny Tim & Bob Cratchit as distant support characters. We're supposed to believe this is a harsh and cruel world, but accept that Mrs Cratchit can summon spirits, simply because all women can. All of your 1 Reviews are dead on about her. And it's not because she's black. She's poorly written, contrived, and shoved down our throats in true modern storytelling fashion. We live in the age where everything is heavy handedly preached at us. It's garbage. If you can see past this, you might enjoy this show.

CSI: Crime Scene Investigation: Torch Song (2013) Season 14, Episode 3

Good Grief

[1/10 · 27 August 2020]

CSIs don't determine Fire Causes over Fire Marshals. What happened to "procedural"?

CSI: Crime Scene Investigation: The Devil and D.B. Russell (2013) Season 14, Episode 1

Awful

[1/10 · 26 August 2020]

Part 2 of CSI saying we don't care about procedure, science, believability anymore, we just want to be Criminal Minds.

CSI: Crime Scene Investigation: Skin in the Game (2013) Season 13, Episode 22

What is up with the ratings?

[1/10 · 26 August 2020]

Every time I see a CSI Episode rated a little higher than the other ones, it is horrible. This episode is no different. It's nothing like CSI. It's basically Criminal Minds. No science again, characters doing things they'd never have clearance or training to do. Just awful and completely unbelievable.

CSI: Crime Scene Investigation: CSI on Fire (2012) Season 13, Episode 8

Unbelievable

[1/10 · 21 August 2020]

Virtually nothing in this episode would end up like it's portrayed. The entire case would be thrown out of court & several CSI's would lose their jobs. Garbage plot.

CSI: Crime Scene Investigation: Ms. Willows Regrets (2012) Season 12, Episode 11

Good Grief

[4/10 · 14 August 2020]

They really just abandoned Science & go with over the top action on this episode. It's truly one of the most unrealistic episodes of the entire series.

CSI: Crime Scene Investigation: Miscarriage of Justice (2009) Season 9, Episode 14

Wow. Junky Science even for this Show

[4/10 · 29 July 2020]

The amount of plot holes in this episode is staggering, even for this show. I found the whole thing totally unbelievable.

The Boy (2016)

I'm pretty sure these Reviews are from Fanboys

[4/10 · 27 July 2020]

Do not believe the good reviews, this movie is literally 2 separate movies crammed together. The 2/3 - 3/4 of the movie is very suspenseful, decently put together & genuinely interesting. The remaining portion goes out if its way to destroy the entire feel, mood, and plausibility that was initially setup. Not only that, but the "twist" is cliche & has been done by at least 2 other movies extremely well (The Pact & Housebound). I saw it free on Netflix. That's about as much as an investment as I'd recommend.

Book of Monsters (2018)

Much of the same.

[4/10 · 1 July 2020]

Most of the 3 - 5 Star reviews have covered it so well that I'm not going to repeat it. The only thing that isn't touched on is the tired old girl power trip this movie is on. It's easily the most cliche part of the movie & it feels terribly forced. You can tell pretty early on who is going to live & who is going to die. Sad. With a few tweaks this movie could've been so much better.

Silent Hill: Revelation (2012)

Listen to the Bad Reviews

[1/10 · 27 May 2020]

I seen someone rate this a 10 then proceed to specify that they weren't paid for their review. They were. At best, and this is discounting quite a bit, this is a 4/10 movie full of cliches, cheap costume designs, and rookie filmmaking errors. Everything is clean. The main character just seems to float through sets without bruises from being beaten, orvdirt or tears in her clothing from crawling through ductworks. Her facial expressions are limited to a surprised squint to mouth open fear and becomes monotonous quite quickly. Her face is nearly sparkling clean the entire movie. This sounds like it is nitpicking, but it completely breaks the suspension of disbelief. You can easily tell the movie was shot, and its plot formed around specific scenes, which are entirely visial and enhanced by tired old 3D effects. This Film isn't finished. Some CGI renderings, the ones designed from the 1st film, are done rather well. The others are extremely poor and the contrast between the 2 is horribly distracting. Watch the 1st Film and leave it be at that.

Swingers (1996)

Opinion vs. Reality

[1/10 · 17 June 2019]

This is perhaps one of the worst movies that I've ever watched. Had I watched this when it first came out, I likely would've never watched another movie that had anything to do with anybody in this film. Save Yourself!! Watching this movie will make you mad. If not for the plot, the inane dialogue, the flaccid characters, or the fact that you'll secretly (or maybe not even secretly) wish that Favrea or Vaugh will choke on a grape just so they'll shut their irritating mouths for 3 seconds. I can't remember a more annoying movie. I'm not even joking. This movie floats around a 7 on IMDB and singlehandedly explains why you can never trust an Internet Site's Rating System.