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Reviews
Mad Heidi (2022)
Surprisingly Well Made
This is a super solid grindhouse tribute complete with a women's prison, nuns, sword-play, nudity, gore, nazis (sort of), and lots more. The script is legitimately hilarious and it looks gorgeous.
This is clearly a labor of love and everyone involved should be proud. The passion of the filmmakers comes across and I look forward to seeing what else they do. The trailer gives a good idea what to expect, but its actually so much more. Great for fans of grindhouse, horror, and comedy. It looks like it was filmed in the Swiss Alps (maybe it was). Caspar Van Dien is a highlight and seeing his comedic timing in this makes me sad he hasn't worked more.
House of Darkness (2022)
Shockingly Boring
Justin Long engages in incredibly cringe-worthy dialog, stuttering and stammering, saying nothing of interest. Just a couple people sitting on a couch talking until the last few minutes- its just so boring- you barely even leave the single room the story takes place in.
Justin was great in the far, far superior Barbarian but this one isn't even in the same ballpark. Awful. You will find yourself losing interest in the boring conversation- none of the actors seem very interested in anything either. Truly horrible and no clue why it was made. Can't recommend unless you need something to help you fall asleep.
The Hunter's Anthology (2021)
Low Budget But Give It A Chance
Found this series streaming for free on Tubi and watched the whole thing in one go. At first I was a bit thrown by the budget but quickly go into it. It reminds me of older television horror anthology shows: Creepshow, Tales From The Darkside, Nightmare Cafe, Monsters, etc. Like those shows, it isn't exactly scary, but there is a great story with a satisfying twist in each episode. The framing device for the anthology is cool and could be used again and again for future seasons. But don't worry- this first season tells a complete story so you won't be stuck with a cliffhanger ending that may never get resolved.
From the stories to the acting to the direction, this one far exceeds so many other shows and movies with lower budgets. By the end I really grew to like the characters. If you like the sort of cheesy horror anthology shows of the 80s and 90s, give this one a try! I loved it!
Tarnation (2017)
Low budget but so much heart and creativity!
This movie is a love letter to Evil Dead and the "cabin in the woods" horror genre. It is a horror comedy and leans more towards the comedy side. If you are expecting a movie with a lot of scares or serious story, this isn't it. This is a movie carefully crafted for fans of the evil dead and campy horror. The budget may be small but this movie was super fun. The actors gave it their all and I appreciate the generous portion of high quality boobage. It got better and better as it went along. Highly recommended to that small group of freaks that love stuff like this.
V/H/S/94 (2021)
Awesome Drinking Game!
I rank this one better than or maybe equal to viral and inferior to the first two. Really low budget. Silly stories. Cheap looking.
But as a drinking game? 10 stars! Turn on subtitles so you don't miss anything and just count the number of F-bombs. I'm no prude but its bizarre when three successive lines of dialog, spoken by three different characters, all include the f word (and that happens over and over). I would bet it pops up at least 75 times- no joke! (UPDATE - upon rewatch, we counted ONE HUNDRED FIFTY F BOMBS) There are countless sentences with at least two F-bombs, and even one with six!
It really kicks in to high gear in the last story. There are stretches when every other sentence has an F-bomb. We were screaming with laughter once we started calling out every time it was said. It was nearly non stop at points. Its not like its one or two people who say it a lot- its everyone! It comes off as just incredibly poor writing- Instead of getting lost in the movie, you are constantly reminded that these aren't individual characters with separate personalities. The script is written as if every character is the same voice, uses the same vocabulary, and curses like Kevin Smith.
So yeah, fairly lame movie but if you just want to get some bros together and count F-bombs, its a rocking time.
The Twilight Zone: 8 (2020)
Best of the Crop
So if you're going to watch one episode of the new Twilight Zone, this is it. Great creature effects and more like a horror movie than the other episodes. Excellent direction from the team that brought us The Endless.
Star Light (2020)
Teens are Dying to Party
Seems like a generic horror/comedy with underage drinking and partying teens, but done very well. As soon as I saw the movie "The Night Watchmen" playing on the tv in the background I knew I was in for a treat. Solid movie.
Lupin (2021)
Too Implausible
If this story were set in the 1970s or prior, I could buy it. This guy would be caught instantly using modern day technology. He shows his face everywhere and commits incredibly high profile crimes yet the police can't even figure out what he looks like. Took me out of it constantly. The thrill of stories like this is the hero outsmarting the detectives, but whats the point if the detectives are total morons who use only technology from more than 50 years ago? Still, not terrible...
His Dark Materials (2019)
Just Plain Boring
Boring, unlikeable characters, sloooooow... I *should* like this- it tics all the boxes, and yet its a struggle to make it through an episode. I can only take 20 minutes at a time. Would love to see Lin, but I'm giving up part way into ep 2. I expect way more from an HBO series. Bye girl.
The Night Watchmen (2017)
Excellent horror comedy
I have so much respect for the cast and crew that made this. The actors are great and the writing is very clever. I knew from the humor in the first 5 minutes that this was going to be a fun movie, and the humor stayed strong the whole time. This really shows that you don't need a ton of money to make a good movie- as I write this, Men in Black International and Xmen Dark Phoenix are currently failing at the box office because a hundred million dollar budget doesn't mean jack if the script sucks and the people making the movie aren't passionate about what they are doing.
If you like Tucker and Dale Versus Evil, Zombeavers, or Evil Dead, give this a try. I LOVED it.
Space Riders: Division Earth (2014)
hilarious!
randomly found this deep in the bowels of hulu and was hooked from the first few minutes. this is a brilliant parody of mighty morphin power rangers about two regular joes who are mistakenly selected to become earth's defenders and given the power to transform into mighty heroes. the transformation sequences (complete with super cheesy song) will have you rolling.
the humor is along the lines of Australia's 'danger 5', Canada's 'todd and the book of pure evil', or the hulu original series' 'deadbeat' and 'quick draw'.
this is really worth checking out, especially if you are familiar with the power rangers (although this show is intended for adults).
Downstream (2010)
The lengths you would go to survive
I am surprised at the low ratings for this movie, I thought it was pretty awesome. The story hooked me from the start and the directing was cool with lots of experimental, comic-booky, split screen stuff.
Acting wise, I was slightly disappointed by the over the top villain but the charismatic lead, Wes, more than made up for it. You could really feel child-like Wes' uncertainty in the morality of his actions. Billy Drago also has a creepy, small role.
I am apparently in the minority here, but I'll go ahead and say it: I thought Downstream was a lot better than The Road (the book or the movie.) Check it out if you like post-apocalyptic stuff with a healthy dose of action and gore (and a dash of cute doggy co-star.)