Tee_Espolon Reviews

Abducted on Prom Night (2023 TV Movie)

Why?

[7 May 2023]

The premise of the movie is simple enough to grasp. Teenagers going to prom and somehow find themselves abducted. So as you settle in to watch this movie, you think there is no way anybody can mess up such a simple plot. That can't be any further from the truth. This movie seemed like 2 hours worth of improv performed on a tight schedule with an immediate "due by close of business" deadline. I will include no spoilers because something this bad needs to be seen for yourself. You will laugh, you will yell and you will no doubt be confused and angry. After an hour, you will hope that this limo goes over a cliff to put an end to this trash on film you are viewing.

Snapped (2004– )

Hard to Watch

[30 April 2023]

These newer episodes are so hard to watch because of the boring narration and slow story flow. SNAPPED really underestimated the importance of a good narrator to make the storyline easy to follow and exciting to watch. It use to be so hard NOT to complete an episode because I needed to know how the case turned out. Snapped on Sundays use to be my favorite thing. Now it has become completely unbearable to get through an episode. Watching and listening to this new narrator is unbearable. Change the narrator and go back to the older format! There is an old saying "If it aint broke, don't fix it".

You Can Never Go Home Again (2022)

Misleading Movie Title

[25 April 2023]

I have no idea why this movie is titled "You Can Never Go Home Again". This movie has absolutely nothing to do with going home, being at home, staying home or anything home related. Unless you count the fact that they just moved into the home. I also have no ideal why they have the child abandoned on a playground on the cover. The situation between Jack and Emma could have been resolved a lot sooner had he went no contact and reported Emma from the start. This was a horrible movie where there is no plot. And when motives are finally revealed, there still is no plot! The acting is pretty good by Jack, his parents and Jack's co-worker but everybody else (insert side eye meme). I gave this move 3 stars because I did laugh out loud quite a few times. Other than that, this is a complete waste of time. I want better for Omar Gooding.

Deadly Mile High Club (2020 TV Movie)

My Favorite Lifetime Movie

[25 April 2023]

I am not sure where all these negative reviews are coming from. No one should go into viewing a Lifetime movie expecting award winning cinema. This movie gave me everything I need out of a Lifetime premiere. Drama, sex, murder, scandal, a ridiculous plot and questionable acting. It was so over the top, you can't help but love it. I got a lot of good laughs in while being intrigued by the drama. Tanya was out of pocket and Jake was indeed a loser. All the negative raters stayed to watch the ending. That should tell you what you need something. You will be entertained one way or the other..........

Jurassic World Dominion (2022)

Unbearable to watch

[20 August 2022]

This movie is absolute disappointing way to end this franchise. There is no need to sugar-coat or draw this out. I couldn't even watch the whole movie. The plot is ridiculous as are the characters. Even the beloved characters from the original are only bearable through nostalgia purposes. Chris Pratt is unbelievable are The Dinosaur Whisperer. I'm not even going to acknowledge the clone girl. They even turned the dinosaurs into caricatures.

Shut In (I) (2022)

No more than a Lifetime movie

[14 May 2022]

I'm not understanding these reviews. This movie was no more deep, riveting or entertaining than a weekly Lifetime premiere. The acting was underwhelming with exception of the child actor who was awesome. The main character never gave a sense of urgency in any terrible situation she ended up in. Her actions while being "shut in" was just not realistic at all. This was a forgettable movie that you stay tuned into when you have nothing else better to do.

Cruella (2021)

Loved!

[15 October 2021]

I don't know much about the original Cruella Deville or 101 Dalmatians. Wasn't really into it as a child and have no interest in it now. This live action origin story piqued my interest and I couldn't be more satisfied. The acting in this move is A+. Emma Thompson is superb as the Baroness. I loved how the director gave the movie a cartoon feel without being a cartoon. The costumes are dope. I have nothing bad to say about this film.

Candyman (2021)

Absolute Trash

[26 September 2021]

I was super excited for the return of Candyman but unfortunately was met with this cinematic piece of garbage. This is not a horror film. Nor was it suspenseful or well..... entertaining. It is very corny however. There is basically no storyline or character development. You will never be submerged into the plot due to lack of a real one. The use of Tony Todd was absolutely disrespectful. Tony Todd is Candyman. You would never try to replace Robert Englund as Freddy Kreuger so why do it to Mr. Todd? All the other 1 star reviews are on point. And Candymans catchphrase "Be My Victim" wasn't used at all.

Respect (2021)

Honestly.... I'm Disappointed

[13 September 2021]

This felt more like a musical than biopic. Jennifer Hudson, an incredible vocalist indeed, just did not make me feel like she was Aretha. There was so much missing from this film like a cohesive flow of events, for example. It hops from scene to scene yet nothing seems to tie together. Some of the musical performances were also really misplaced. I had really high hopes for the film but it just did not give what was needed.

Concrete Cowboy (2020)

Had No Expectations

[12 September 2021]

I had no idea what this movie was about when I pressed play. But I am so happy I took time to view this simple yet brilliant film. The acting and cinematography was everything. I felt engulfed in this coming of age story. I watched the "Coltrane" scene multiple times. Characters you hate, you grow to love or at least empathize with their choices. It's a story you've heard before but with a new twist.

You're Not Alone (2020)

So Many Things Wrong

[13 December 2020]

Without any spoilers, there are so many things in this movie that never add up. Like the lack of storyline and purpose for instance. This ends up feeling like a higher budget Lifetime movie. People go missing without any question to their disappearance. I'm still not sure what this movie is about. There are a million warnings yet the need to leave the house isn't present. I could go on but it's not worth it. This was a complete waste of time.

Little (I) (2019)

Cute Movie!

[1 December 2020]

I wasn't too sure I would like this movie so I put off watching it. I ended upwas pleasantly surprised how cute and funny it is. I don't understand the negative reviews. If you're looking for an Oscar worthy piece of cinema, go elsewhere. If you're looking for a laugh from a feel good film, you are in the right place. Marsai Martin does an excellent job as little Jordan.

Inheritance (I) (2020)

Very Lifetime-esque

[13 August 2020]

The acting was solid. But this storyline leads to nothing. 2 hours of waiting for this all to make sense and then..... nothing. There are absolutely no "Ooh.. now I get it" moments in this film. It's unfortunate because it could have been better. The main characters actions throughout this movie were completely illogical and irrational. Nothing makes sense. The dialog also goes on and on. You can forward through the majority of the movie without missing anything important.

Coffee & Kareem (2020)

Nope.

[19 April 2020]

I watched this movie for 20 minutes before cutting it off and going on about my day. The Kareem character totally ruins this movie. He is over the top, rude, vulgar and obnoxious. I didn't like him at all and found myself wanting to beat his a$$. This movie is trash.

Sextuplets (2019)

Pleasantly Surprised....

[18 December 2019]

Due to all the bad reviews, I expected the absolute worst. I was pleased surprised that I actually enjoyed this film. Listen.... it's a silly, feel good comedy. It's not here to change the world, be thought provoking or based off your reality. It's a comedy... a silly comedy. Marlon did a great job portraying all 7 characters. There was a solid supporting cast as well. Of course, there are some corny moments but it's not that deep. Too many reviews on here are people in their feelings and it's just not that serious.

Rel (2018–2019)

Tried.

[12 November 2018]

I tried watching episode 7 of season 1. Less than 15 minutes in, I switched channels to an old blackish episode. First things first, the laugh track was annoying. Super annoying. And this track is placed after every sentence. It's bad. Real bad. Sinbad is literally the only saving grace. I tried. I really did but this is awful. No disrespect but some people are just better as supporting characters/actors. This show will definitely fall into the abyss of shows like Homeboys from Outer Space.

Traffik (2018)

Just Awful

[9 October 2018]

This movie had the potential to really shed light on the serious issue of sex trafficking had it been provided with better direction/storyline. Instead it comes off as a cheesy teeny bopper "let's go to my uncle's cabin in the woods" b list horror film. There is nothing good about this film with the exception of Omar Epps acting. You will not be attached to any character in this film. You will find yourself yelling at the scream yelling "Come On" and wanting to slap and shoulder shake the main character from start to finish. Nothing in this movie is realistic. Watch this movie when you need a good laugh, feel like being frustrated or need a guide on everything absolutely not to ever do ever about anything.

Get on Up (2014)

Good Movie That Missed the Mark

[9 October 2018]

I've been waiting years to see this movie but couldn't bring myself to do it. Most biopics are generally underwhelming.... This was no exception. The Godfather of Soul was an erratic, complex musical genius. This movie could have been so more had it focused on an actual storyline a bit more. It mainly focuses on how important the loyalty of one of his bandmates was to him. Chadwick does a good enough job. You are not going to walk away from this film not knowing anything about the Godfather that you already don't know. Will you be entertained? Sure. Confused? Yep. Left desiring more? Uh huh.