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Old (2021)
Boring and dissapointing
I was really excited when I first heard of this film, it sounded quite cool. I was really looking forward to watching it, but I did not manage to finish it! Seriously boring - no idea how Mr. Shyamalan managed that, given he had a very interesting and original idea to work with, beautiful setting and solid cast. It really is a special talent!
I failed to engage with the characters, felt nothing for them - one scene (when the former kids emerge from spending time together and one of them is pregnant) even made me laugh, which I'm sure wasn't the intention.
The fact that the setting is controlled and the characters are basically guinea pigs was quite obvious from the beginning; and by the time I switched the film off (when there were only 2 characters left) I stopped caring about why and who etc. I read the synopsis of the film to see what happened and the ending is so predictable its just seem unreal. This predictability is very common in Shyamalan's films - and once you work out the "catch", the rest of the film becomes boring and pointless.
My advice - avoid.
Chernobyl Diaries (2012)
Two stars for the setting. Everything else is appalling!!
Really poorly made B movie. Setting is cool, and Ukrainian characters looking spot on - though, being Ukrainian, I have no idea what language they speak - Polish? Gibberish?... but i guess its no big deal, would have been ok if the rest of the film wasnt so terrible.
Characters are sooo predictable and boring. Adventurous cheeky older bother. Sensible quiet younger brother. Clever hot girl. Dumb but sweet hot girl. Quirky but acceptable one. His clingy girlfriend. Gosh, they all like something from a ready made teen horror set...
And then, mutants. Really? In 25 years hese people somehow turned into bald headed flesh eating monsters?... not died of cancer?...are we supposed to be idiots or something to engage with this trash? Because I literally switched off half way through.
Such brilliant setting, could have been a cool film - instead, we got this.
Antrum: The Deadliest Film Ever Made (2018)
Very poor attempt at retro horror
No idea what the makers of the film tried to achieve. Its not very believable as 70s footage - did people who made this film seen any?... Funky font and instagram filter is really not enough.
Main characters are sort of 70s advert kids but again, not quite right - girls hair is very obviously bleached, boy looks like little surly Mick Jagger. Their acting is fine but nothing special.
The film has too much explanation which is always a bad sign. Too many bits flashing all over the screen. The idea of subtlety is obviously not something these filmmakers are familiar with.
The female narrators voice is really annoying - so deliberately over the top. I guess the idea was to create a certain feeling, but for me it felt like a comedy performance.
Basically - this film is trying way too hard but it fails on all accounts. Its not scary, characters are boring and not engaging, its not interesting, or original, or anything. Just bland rubbish. Avoid.
Midsommar (2019)
Old fashioned scary
This film, to me, is something like a contemporary version of the Wicker man. Equally brilliant, spooky, amazing, scary. Plus brilliant Scandinavian colours, everything is so light, fresh, you can almost feel the clean air and smell the pine trees. It is intentionally over realistic, and the scenes of grief at the beginning of the film are genuinely heartbreaking.
I must say I felt sorry for the idiot boyfriend, and wondered what happed to the girl - does she stay with the commune?... but overall, I cant wait to see more films from the same director. I loved Hereditary, and loved this! Brilliant.
Sputnik (2020)
Great effort from Russia!
Really liked the film, thought the acting, the cinematography, costumes, scenery - all was amazing. Story was very interesting too - though of course nothing new, it was made very interesting by placing the events in the 80s USSR. Creature design was good, too.
I felt the ending wasn't as good though, left me with some questions:
1. If the host was killed, wouldn't the creature simply pop out? Or was it at that point too connected to the host? Kind of weird how easily it was killed.
2. The whole story of some sort of commission arriving to rescue Tanya, and she being allowed to get on with her life doesnt seem particularly credible. I know its 80s, not the 50s, but still. I feel she would have been locked up in some mental hospital somewhere to cover it all up.
Apart from that, great film. Pleasure to watch.
The Beach House (2019)
Ok horror film but definitely not a masterpiece
I quite liked somr of the scenes like the one with bioluminescence, and the guy drowning, they were genuinely spooky and cool. However, this film is mainly boring, with strange shaky camerawork (especially at the beginning, really shaky!) and a lot of unnecessary scenes - like the one with eating dope.
I guess its ok to watch if you are a bit bored and want some light hearted scares, but it definitely no masterpiece.
Nocturama (2016)
Pretentious, boring and pointless
I understand that this film should not be taken at face value as it seemed to be attempting to deliver some sort of a commentary on modern life, disillusioned youth, violence, society - pick any or all of these. But in my view it fails completely because you need to engage the viewer first, awaken some feelings, make the viewer think. This film can only make you yawn or scratch your head. Its relentlessly boring, it makes no sense even as an allegory or whatever, the characters are dull and unlikable, even to the point of being physically repulsive. I really tried watching it but it was starting to feel like a punishment. Pretentious rubbish.
I Am the Pretty Thing That Lives in the House (2016)
Not a horror film
This film is very artfully made, but really, really, really boring. No story, nothing. Just a random collection of "atmospheric" scenes and a voiceover consisting of phrases that are repeated over and over. I spent most of the film looking at furniture or main character's weird upper lip (by the way - why cast someone clearly way past their 20s to play a 28 y.o?)
Anyway, maybe there is something in this film but I clearly missed it.
Madre (2016)
Nasty, illogical, racist
I don't know where to start with this film. The characters are illogical, their actions are contrived, the whole premise is nasty... so here we go:
Woman understandably struggles to cope with her severely disabled child. She has no help, there is literally zero support from anyone; her husband works away all the time but somehow they decide it's a good idea to have another kid. Which leaves her on her own, pregnant, with a violent kid she can't control.
Enter racially stereotypical Pilipino nanny. Motherly, old, but creepy, with a hairy mole. Who of course is some sort of a Rasputin character, brainwashing the kid, controlling everyone and being generally eeeeevil. Woman is concerned. Something is happening. Oh yes, she is saying nasty things to her son in her nasty foreign language. Better tell husband.
Husband, of course, couldn't care less, does nothing but shouts at his wife, ignoring her and being nasty. She seems ok with that. Never tries to collect any evidence (tea), record anything on the phone she constantly holds in her hand, or go back to her doctor to find out what he found in her blood.
She goes mad and no one believes her (think Rosemary's Baby but with no talent). Nasty nanny does nasty things and steals her kids for no reason. The end.
What a waste of time. Awful acting, awful film.
You (2018)
Different from the book but not necessarily better...
I liked the casting, all characters except for Beck and Peach are as i imagined them to look - though Beck was much blander than i expected, which is fine. Peach though! She was only truly interesting and likeable character in the book but was made to look ordinary, bland and stupid. I think its a great loss. So, all the characters were given more humility, Beck is human and not a complete narcissistic cow, Joe is sexy, very together and cool in a creepy, Dexter way. No idea why he would have to fall over backwards to win Beck - surely girls like her are three a penny in NY. Anyway, odd departure from the book but great in its own silly way. But definitely not a masterpiece (but the book wasn't, either)...
Hereditary (2018)
Scary, exciting, entertaining!
A lot of people here said its a bad and boring film; I'd like to know what they would consider a "good" horror film! I like It Follows; The Ritual; old stuff like Rosemary's Baby and The Tenant. And I absolutely enjoyed Hereditary! Its scary, gory, well made and well acted. It left me shaking. Ok, maybe its not high brow or terribly inventive - but its still one of the best horror films I've seen in ages. Don't read the reviews, go and watch it!